All the difference

It is something we often neglect or not pay enough attention to. The very simple fact that it is those small things that make the greatest difference. From the way you dress, to the way you wear your hair, to the accessories you choose to adorn you.

It is the way someone looks at you. The gestures they make when they talk to you. The words they use to express themselves; even the spelling mistakes they write. The force they exert when they shake or hold your hand. The aura they emit when they’re around you.

It is the glow of their smile when they look at you. The way they show you they care and make you feel special. The way they make you forget everything else and everyone around you.

It sometimes makes all the difference in the world.

It is the borderline between not wanting the moment to end, and wishing something would happen so you could get up and leave.

It is those little things, which we so often take for granted, that hold in their very essence the future of entire relationships.

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Date of maturation

A person very dear to me recently told me how wonderfully I’ve matured over the past few years. I don’t like the feeling of growing older, to be honest. But I do enjoy the experiences and the adventures of a time well-spent and a life enjoyed to the fullest. And knowing that all that brings out the best in you, is a feeling like no other.

Because in reality, maturity is not something that comes with age. Far from it. It is, as time passes, however, that you become more aware of the world around you. Of how everything works, the unwritten rules, the human relationships, the fragments of society and all the things no-one talks about.

You mature through the life lessons you learn. Through the times you fall down and get hurt, and the corresponding more that you get up and continue. Through all those instances you survive, no matter how hard it seemed at the time.

You grow up not when you reach a certain age. But when you become independent enough to be able to cope on your own. To be capable of facing crises without panicking, freezing and needing to call for help.  It happens when you develop the necessary attitude to face the world.

Maturity, it is said, is not when we start speaking big things…it is when we start understanding small things.  It’s learning which battles are worth fighting, and realizing that many things don’t require your comment.  It’s feeling content with simply knowing you’re right about something, without needing to prove someone else wrong. And it’s in feeling well and sure about yourself despite everything else.

Like another dear friend pointed out, Shakespeare was right about one thing we should all stick to above all: “to thine own self be true”. Always. Knowing that this is what matters more than what other people think, is evidence enough that you have reached that other level.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Crisis

Deep breaths without a time limit

When the temperature hits 40 degrees Celsius, you can feel your heartbeat slowing down. You can feel that you’re drifting into a state of daze, of an almost apathy, being struck by drowsiness and that summer laziness you long for all year round. It is precisely at that moment when all you want is to lie on a sunbed with the sea at your feet and think of nothing. Because even that takes too much energy, which right now you don’t have.

It is that summer heat that affects you to actually slow down. To take life as it goes, because “if it will happen, it will on its own”. Those lethargic days when you need to do nothing. To simply enjoy those little things life has to offer, soaking up the moments that fill your heart and engaging in often irrational conversations with the people you love. Because in essence, these are the things that make you smile. And when you smile, the whole world seems brighter. Even after the sun sets.

We all need to relish those few days. To know the difference between working stressfully and running around in a hectic non-stop, and when to relax, take things easier and let some slide.

It’s difficult letting go, even just for a moment. But when you do, you will only wonder why you hadn’t done so sooner. It feels like a weight was lifted off your lungs and you can finally breathe again.

So go ahead, slow down a bit. Take a look at the beauty surrounding you, talk to the people around you, take a nap, go for a walk, read a book, listen to music, just sit in silence with good company. Do all the things you mentally list in your head for when you have time, or do absolutely nothing at all. But whatever you choose to do, make sure it makes you happy. Because in the end, that’s all that matters.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Slowly

Chasing Pokémon

“Come on, we need to catch ‘em now!”  Mitch grabbed his phone and headed towards the door. His anxiety was evident as his hand transferred his tremor onto the open door. His wife did not share the agony.

She still hadn’t caught the two Pokémon hiding in the house.

But Mitch saw there were many more outside roaming the neighbourhood. It was obvious from the number of cars parked in the street and the hoard of dazed young people walking around like zombies searching for imaginary creatures that appeared randomly on their phones.

With every vibrate, you would hear a scream and then witness a leap forward.

They were all obviously seeing something that any person out of the Pokémon Go loop would not understand.

People had been caught Pokémon & driving, which was far worse than drunk driving because at least in the latter case the driver’s eyes were on the road, even if his/her mind wasn’t.

People had been falling over, bumping into trees, with each other, or even being hit by cars exactly because they were too busy being dragged around the routes depicted on their phone, rather than be aware of their actual surroundings.

But there were also those who found friends, even romance, through the Pokémon gatherings. Those who discovered excitement in this shared habit, no matter how addictive it got.

Mitch was still impatient. His wife had now slid under the bed and was desperately trying to throw a ball at a Pikachu sneering at her from the corner.

“Will you please hurry up?” Mitch called out.

Martha stepped in through the open door. She was about to apologise for being late because of the traffic that had gathered in the area. But when she saw what was going on with the owners of the house she was employed to maintain in order, her jaw dropped. The disorder was reminiscent of the impact of an earthquake. Even the couch – which she so dexterously vacuumed around – had been displaced.

“Will you finally go to work and stop chasing imaginary creatures, please?” she blurted out. That was just the moment the wife appeared triumphantly, waving her phone with a picture of a captured yellow creature on screen.

Martha sighed.

That was when Mitch’s father showed up at the doorstep and said “where can I plug in my phone, there is one little bugger that’s about to get away?”

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Carefree

Listen to the silence

Can you do that? Can you hear the words I fear to speak? The ones running through my head. Those that don’t want to be uttered, yet need to be heard?

Can you read through the glow of my eyes? Can you see what I desire for you to comprehend? Can you feel how much I want you to know about everything that is causing a whirlwind inside of me?

Sometimes it is the quietest minds that speak the loudest.

All it takes is the ability and desire to hear them even when they don’t speak a word.

It’s that kind of person you seek when you feel most frail, as fragile as a crisp leaf in a storm.

The person you know you can trust no matter what. The one who will capture your heart as soon as they catch your eye. And the one who will remain there, no matter how much time passes by.

The people who are able to listen to your silence, exactly when you need to say the most.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Frail

Lost in a moment

He stood there silent, scintillating under the night sky as the sweat droplets emerged on his forehead. His mouth had run dry and the alcohol he was consuming did not really help. He felt his heart beat faster as the adrenaline pumped his body rhythm up four beats. His gaze was fixed. On her.

She was a girl who had managed to capture his interest since the first moment he laid eyes on her. That moment when he accidentally fell right onto her while they were both heading from different directions to the bar. It was a week since and he had still to garner the courage to talk to her.

Her long golden brown curls swayed in the night air as she moved along the beat of the music that blasted from the club’s loudspeakers. He was mesmerized and petrified at the same time. He could see that men around the club had been imprisoned by her. By her looks. By her soft treading along the dance floor. By the way she smiled and her eyes sparkled. By how she seemed so carefree.

People need that. That feeling of being somewhere and forgetting everything else. Being lost in that very moment. In that dance. In that conversation. In those eyes staring at you while the world around you disappears.

But, like everything in life, to gain something you must also give something back. It takes courage to put yourself out there. But once you do, you’ll probably wonder why you hadn’t been as bold sooner.

Momentous breaks

We all need a break once in a while. A break as in a time off pretty much everything. Some time to spend for yourself, relaxing, doing what you love or nothing at all. Yet, we also very often need a break, as in an opportunity, one to demonstrate your true (cap)abilities. But also one that will prove to you that life isn’t all that bad.

We need those instances that are more than just phantom moments.

It is those times when life lights up for you and you can reciprocate with your widest smile. It is those small gestures, phrases, looks that brighten up your very existence. And it is those moments when you regain your faith in humanity. When you have your hope restored that things will get better.  When you somehow gain the courage to take risks, regardless of where they may (or may not) lead to.

It is during these momentous breaks when everything around you seems just a little bit brighter. When you feel lighter, more optimistic and somewhat happier.

But it is also during those very moments when you hope that it will not all be taken away at the next break.

“When you think you know all the answers, the Universe comes and changes all the questions…” – Jorge Francisco Pinto

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Cowardice

The trouble with being busy

“We humans are in trouble… Never before in human history have we had such conveniences and such knowledge, yet never before have our lives been so stressed and unhealthy”.

It’s true. Because we constantly live in a state of paradox. Where we want to be busy, but at the same time not. We want to be prosperous and financially comfortable, yet we don’t want to work hard to accomplish this. We want to realise our dreams and ambitions, but with the least amount of effort possible.

This amazing TedX talk discusses exactly that. And the way I fell across it reveals precisely how inspiration can come when you least look for it.

The truth is, however, that “we have made sleep deprivation a symbol of ambition and rested a symbol of laziness. We have made being too busy a symbol of importance.”

We spend our working days doing exactly that – working – sometimes even overworking ourselves, racing against time, trying to fit everything in those 24 hours that sometimes never feel enough, forcing ourselves to rush to be prompt for our appointments, meetings, errands and classes. Often even forgetting to eat or drink, let alone breathe. We have become so accustomed to this lifestyle that we have truly forgotten the very basics of it. Of what it is like to be human, and just… live.

Remember how when we were kids – without all the digital technology – we used to laugh endlessly for no reason, being carefree, happy, and most of all stressfree? Learning was a joy. As was socializing and relaxing. Naptime was a chore, but now… now we long for an extra hour (or half) of sleep whenever possible.

The aforementioned talk refers to those amazing animals we all at some point or other wished we were: dolphins. They are cheerful, playful, sociable and intelligent. Who wouldn’t want to be like them?

But above all, they teach us three fundamental things that in our hectic lives we’ve lost touch of: how to play – with no rules, no limitations, and find new passion through creativity; how to socialize with others – make real connections and bonds and through that find new purpose; and how to find “downtime” – to relax and rest, to slow down and pay attention, to find this much needed balance that will bring about life satisfaction. “We are so on-the-go that stress has become the number one health epidemic of the 21^st century, wreaking havoc in our bodies and minds”. It is a fact that even large companies nowadays introduce mindfulness exercises as a means of demonstrating that “breaks are the moments of breakthrough”; it is where we find inspiration and innovation. And it is how we can adapt to our constantly evolving world and thrive.

We need that moment of rest – even if it does mean that you have to fight the “withdrawal symptoms” of constantly being busy, feeling more tired when you’re doing nothing. You need that time precisely to discover all the new things you can do, which you never thought you had the time or energy for.

You need to stop, before you can start again, stronger and better.

“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life”

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Pleasure

Lucky disorientation

© Jan Marler Morrill

There is a reason she was told not to go out alone, even during daylight. She had no sense of orientation whatsoever, setting out for the beach and somehow reaching the mountains.

On that idyllic island, she realised what her horoscope had described as “luck or fate”.

On that white and blue deserted back alley is where she found him. Standing like a Greek statue under the scorching sun. As if he was waiting there for her to arrive. His eyes shimmering in the sun. She smiled, accentuating her dimples, and she could see him blush.

Her name was Aphrodite.

 

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

The opposite limits

Her name was Patience, which was ironic because she had none. She was the type of person who wanted things done in a specific way, quite swiftly too. It was the consequence of being a perfectionist with a high dose of OCD. And the very fact that she was so meticulous and thorough with whatever she did, meant that she would be irritated by anything of lesser quality. But what was worse of all, was how she reacted to unjustified pressure.

Because often, people work harder when under pressure, as they feel the knife’s edge closing in. But Patience disliked being forced to do something she was going to see to either way. In her mind, it was a useless paradox that was simply unproductive.

So whenever her grandmother forced her to “eat all her peas”, Patience would not touch a single one. The same happened when her parents asked her to “clean up her room”. Or when her supervisor “demanded” a draft copy on his desk “by no later than midday”. She was the person who would eat her peas, clean up her room and get the report done on time, regardless. For this reason, she saw it as demeaning to be pressured so strongly to perform these actions.

As such, her family and colleagues soon realized that just like her name implied, Patience required that very trait, and in fact, the opposite treatment. So, they would tell her she didn’t have to eat all her peas if she didn’t want to. Or that her room seemed clean enough as it was. Or that the report could be handed in as soon as it was done. Left on her own terms, Patience was happy to prove that she could be better than what anyone expected. She gained a sense of satisfaction in that. In proving how disciplined and productive she could be, even without the added pressure. Because she believed that sometimes, that is all we really need. To be allowed to demonstrate your true capabilities without feeling that you are constantly being judged. Sure, it is good and necessary to have some kind of timeline and order in life, but just like everything, there needs to be a limit to it all.