We fall in love to feel alive
There is a saying that “the heart has its reasons which reasons knows not” (Blaise Pascal); that sometimes what you feel you want and what you know is rational are incompatible. But the heart is a powerful organ. It’s what keeps us alive.
Maybe we should listen to it more.
The heart has a way of making you feel things deeply, intensely and with full force. It is most evident when the feeling of love is concerned.
Falling in love is a process. One that is both terrifying and wonderful at the same time. One which devours your very being, but completes you to the fullest. It is what takes complete and utter control of you, of every sense and emotion you have.
Like this brilliant article says. “we fall in love not just with a person wholly external to us, but with a fantasy of how that person can fill what is missing from our interior lives”.
We fall in love because we want to feel wanted, desired, attractive, important. Because we need someone to share our experiences with, to make them priceless, to give fun a new meaning. We both want and need that special someone who will be the reason you count down the days for the weekend, and with whom you make plans for the future. That person who will acknowledge your value and won’t hesitate to fight for you. The person who will demonstrate that no matter the tough times you will unavoidably encounter, your relationship will endure, because together is a notion that is always strongest. We fall in love because we need that spark of optimism, of hope, of brightness in our lives.
However, it is true that “all love stories are frustration stories…to fall in love is to be reminded of a frustration you didn’t know you had” (Adam Phillips). “It is as if, oddly, you were waiting for someone but you didn’t know who they were until they arrived”.
The person you fall for is one who subconsciously you had already been expecting. The person who you’ll find you share with so many common habits, beliefs, likes, interests. It’s the person who makes time fly when you’re together and with whom time is never enough.
Love becomes a progressive transformation of an initial infatuation – “that parallel intensity of longing for our lover’s presence and anguishing in her absence”. It is indeed only when you meet that person who clicks with you, that you start missing them when they’re not around, because it is only then that you realise what it is you were longing for.
Love is a constant struggle between enthusiasm and torment, between giving and receiving, between compromising and accepting. But it is the intensity of it all that makes it worthwhile. And ultimately it is the very reason we fall in love, to feel alive.
Also part of Daily Prompt: Together
Also part of Daily Prompt: Passionate