A radical flee

©Susan Eames

He just got up one morning and left.

It’s not something you usually do without intensive planning or careful thought. But sometimes it’s what you need.

It’s when you disappear or something serious happens that you realise the true nature of the people around you, who cares for you and who are worthy of being a part of your life.

Ivan was so fed up with the futility and hypocrisy of his surroundings, he had to act radically.

Then the phone rang.

“Where are you?” the female voice sounded concerned.

“On a tree, gazing at the ocean,” he replied serene.

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Happy Endings

“Did you always know you would end up together?” the little girl asked her Grandma who was baking a cake for her wedding anniversary. The child loved kitchen-table talk. It was the place where real-life stories were told. Where she realised that true love exists in reality and that sometimes, fairy tales do come true even after many hardships. It was all a matter of how much you wanted something, and how much you were willing to try for it.

Her grandmother smiled as she mixed the dough in a big round bowl. “Well, to be honest, I wasn’t sure. But I had a feeling this one was special. That there would be something more to this man who courted me so decisively.”

“You weren’t sure? Because I was certain!” Grandpa interrupted as he abruptly entered the kitchen and surprised Grandma with a peck on the cheek. She still blushed, even after all these years.

The child clapped happily. She was witnessing a couple who never aged and who lasted through time.

“How did you know, Grandpa?”

“Well, I just did. It’s like an intuition. That special feeling when I first looked into your grandmother’s eyes. I just knew we’d click. As if our fates were from that moment tied together”.

Grandma smiled as she continued her baking. Her eyes sparkled as she recalled those first moments of their encounter.

“I wish I will be lucky enough to find a love like yours,” the little girl said.

“I’m sure you will,” Grandma responded. “When the time comes, that person who will cherish you and treat you like the most important treasure in the world will appear.”

The child sighed in optimism as she watched the elderly couple take care of each other as if they were still young lovers, as if none of the decades had passed over them.

“Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young” – Benjamin Franklin

The longest distance

Distance is a strange concept. Because technological evolution has made it possible to feel close to people who are oceans apart from us. Yet, sometimes, the distance that separates our minds with people who are right next to us is often unsurmountable.

Distance is often a way to see things differently. To view situations in another light or from another perspective. It shows us things we don’t want to see, we ignore, or we fear of acknowledging. But it also gives us a clearer view. People think they are the centre of the universe, yet from space we are just a dot in a vast solar system; we are too small and insignificant in this infinity.

In the end, it is not the kilometres that divide us, but the emotional distance, that which makes the feeling of loneliness all the more intense. It is said that distance is only a test to see how far love can travel. It is what enhances patience and expectation, sometimes even reinforcing the very feeling of love.

According to Tennessee Williams, “time is the longest distance between two places.” Physical distance can easily be overcome. But time needs courage.

We usually blame the distance for things we don’t want to do or for situations in which we need to justify our behaviour. We curse our fate for the difference caused in our lives by distances of all sorts. Yet, as Democritus said, “people invented lady luck to justify their own lack of will”. It is not distance that separates people. It is the lack of will and the silence. Because in our modern, evolving world, where there is a will, there is a way.

And ultimately, even distance is just a number.

Empty pockets and full hearts

There is a saying that being rich is not about the material things you have, but the wealth you store inside – the things that enrich your mind and spirit. As such, the more we have inside, the less we need on the outside.

In his beautiful and very inspiring book “The Richest Man of the World”, Rafael Vídac states that most of the problems in this world come from people with full pockets and empty hearts. For this reason, he has written what is described as “a complete map to follow for anyone who needs a profound change in his life” (Diana Zuluaga). He prompts readers to take steps to enrich their internal wealth, which will help in transforming them into a more dynamic person by expanding their mind.

In a page-turning story that grips you from the start, the author notes that all people go through periods of personal crisis. And these consist of five stages:

1. Ignorance – not acknowledging why you feel terrible
2. Wandering – accepting you feel bad but not knowing what you want
3. Utopia – you know what you want but don’t know how to achieve it
4. Paralysis – you know what you want and the steps to take to realise it, but you are still incapable of taking action and this causes pain and disappointment. It is scary to take hold of the realms of your life.
5. Resistances – you are able to move into action and pursue your goals, but for some reason you are unable to succeed.

At the same time, however, we are taught that there are three “laws” worth taking into account during periods of crisis:

1. No one regardless is forced to endure a difficulty that they are not capable of overcoming.
2. Every pain and effort is always rewarded and at the right time.
3. The truly important things that happen to us do so on a wise purpose that we will understand sooner or later.

“Try to believe and life will prove to you that no matter what, it will support you,” Vídac states, stressing that “life will show you the path you need to follow.”

He makes the reader open his/her eyes to things we are too busy to see. Or the ones we don’t want to.

For example:

• Material things are only the shell covering people’s feelings and thoughts.
• We tend to substitute insecurities with the need to have control.
• Control is a useful tool on condition that you do not allow it to govern you. It is impossible to control everything in life.
• You need to learn how to take steps in the dark – if you can move without any prior information, you will sharpen your senses to move on the ground on which you tread.

In this amazing and very motivating book, the reader is forced to think, to ponder on where s/he focuses their energy on a daily basis and what needs to change for a better life.

Here are some of the best messages from this must-read book:

• Our body needs vitality. The next step in achieving internal wealth is to correctly manage unpleasant emotions. When such feelings have been supressed for too long they become toxins that poison our bodies and distort the way we view the world around us.

• The problem does not lie with the unpleasant emotions per se, but in our inability to appropriately manage them. For that reason, we don’t need to eradicate them but to harness them.

• It is easy to feel angry. But few know how to appropriately manage this feeling. Anger when suppressed for a long time results in bitterness. Sorrow may turn into depression and fear into a pathological insecurity against any situation.

• The real target is not the target itself, but the person who you wish to become. The aim is for you to transform into someone who is ready to accept what s/he desires. The way you deal with circumstances must be that of a person who was already conquered his/her goals. Start to believe that you have that something you want. From that moment, you create it, by believing in it (Law of attraction).

• Never underestimate the impact of the true meaning of words. We don’t “chase” our dreams – the phrase insinuates running after something that constantly evades us.

• Possessing the necessary internal wealth allows you to hold the necessary energy and have a mind capable of concentrating.

• What we call ‘luck’ is only the final consequence of all our past actions. What you do alone does not determine your luck, but also what you feel and what you think.

• Our stance – as per our emotional or mental actions – also has a great role to play in implementing our goals. You need to believe strongly in what you want to achieve, but also be able to distance yourself from the result, whatever that may be – to accept any outcome.

• Our perceptions are packages of brain information that operate autonomously and affect our way of perceiving the world.

• No one knows you better than your own mind and that is why no one is more enticing when it wants to convince you about something.

• Focus your mind on what is happening at that moment and not on the disappointments that may never come. Worry is a mental creation born out of fear

• The person who becomes obsessed with what he is looking for cannot appreciate what he already has.

• At times, life destroys in the most painful way what matters most to us, but that only happens when we are ready to succeed in something better.

• The only limits that exist are the ones we ourselves impose.

• A flame does not stop shining because of the darkness that surrounds it.

• We should wonder if what exists in our life is what we truly want or what we fear to change.

• All of us, and each one separately, can transform into something wonderful, someone brilliant. There is no better time than now.

Unconditional true bonds

She woke up excited but didn’t know why. It was the third day in a row that little Madeleine woke up before the alarm clock, bright and early without any particular reason. Her nights had been tormented by strange nightmares whose signs she could not read in the morning. But she always tried to retain her optimism, just like her parents taught her. After all, if you smile at life, it will eventually smile back.

In her backyard, the stray cat she had taken under her protection, provided for and fed for the past few months, had a surprise for her: three adorable little kittens. They were all running around playfully in the garden, under the watchful eye of mama-cat.

Madeleine couldn’t help but grin widely at the sight. She was thrilled that her cat family had expanded. It meant more friends, more living creatures with whom to create an unconditional bond.

Mama-cat walked over to where Madeleine was sitting watching them. She meowed and comfortably sat in front of the child’s legs. She began to purr as soon as Madeleine touched her back and began to pet her. A short while after, the three kittens joined in. They were fluffy little creatures, full of awe and excitement with the world.

She looked as they stared into her eyes, their small eyeballs gleaming in the sunlight. If only it were as easy to form unconditional, mutual and lasting bonds with people.

Swimming counter-current

©Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

He entered the swimming pool area a couple of hours ahead of the competition and the other contestants.

There was a strange tranquillity in the still waters and the silence. Everything was ready, preparing for a festival, excitement, cheering and action.

But, he remained calm. His breathing rhythm had not increased a single beat. As if he didn’t care.

It was the biggest race of his life so far, yet he remained motionless, unaffected by it all. The only thing he could not shake off was that something wrong was about to happen.

He later wished he had been wrong.

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Grounded

As teenagers, we often complain, moan and storm into our rooms angrily when parents forbid us from doing something, usually going out. It has gained the term “grounded”, as if we are airplanes prohibited from flying to symbolise that our wings are being tied down.

Yet, the same word has another meaning: that of being well-balanced and sensible. Of being able to see both sides to every situation and being capable of taking a rational decision.

It is only when you are truly grounded – actually prevented from flying – that you realise what the whole concept really entails.

We have the option of going anywhere we want, practically at any time we choose to do so. Yet, we may not exploit this opportunity for months. But when that “given” is taken away, when the choice is removed, that is when we start to miss it.

Life has a strange way of altering your point of view and of offering valuable lessons.

Sometimes it is not about how far your travel, but how much you spread your wings and do fly. How much you take advantage of every opportunity life gives you.

The image of hurt

©Jean L. Hays

“What would you like to talk about today?” The therapist took his notebook and a pen and sunk himself into the purple velvet chair opposite.

“Pain,” he replied immediately.

The therapist looked straight at him. Sorrow was reflecting out of his patient’s eyes. You could see he was hurt, there was something not right inside him. Disappointment that had become sadness, anger that had converted into bitterness; it was all evident in his posture and expression.

“Show me what you think it looks like,” he said, proposing a few photographs.

The patient pointed to one of a barren, anhydrous land.

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The signs we choose not to see

In everyday life we are surrounded by all sorts of signs. Not only literally, but metaphorically too. In most life-changing decisions we take, we unconsciously look for signs to reveal to us we are on the right path, or to help us choose which route to take, what move to make.

However, no matter how many signs are thrown our way, we usually only see what we want to see. Often we ignore even the warning signs that things are not going well, the ones that serve as precautions, as awakenings trying to draw our attention to something, calling us to change.

We choose to ignore the signs that try to help us because we don’t want to see them at that moment. We want to believe in something different and we refuse to accept that sometimes things don’t always turn out the way we hoped or planned.

That is until one sign hits us hard like a slap in the face and we are forced to see what we’ve been pushing aside for so long. It’s a sign we can no longer ignore, revealing that a cycle has been closed and we need to find the courage to close the door to it and move on.

 It’s only when we’re ready to see the signs that we accept their presence. We just have to be brave enough to let them guide us, but not dictate our next moves.

The happiness we refute

“Do you want to go outside and play?” “No,” he replied irritated.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” “No”. His agitation increased with every proposal he refuted.

The truth is, little Josh didn’t know what he wanted. He was in one of those moods were nothing was good enough but even that nothing could not make him feel better. He was missing something but could not precisely state what that was.

His aunt came in the door after leaving him alone for five minutes petting Thunder, the small poodle that was lying on the couch perplexed with the situation.

She brought him a bowl with two scoops of ice cream. Ice cream always made things better for young and old. It was a sort of remedy for whatever you had, no matter if you couldn’t even define the problem yourself.

Josh relished every spoonful he tasted. When it was over, he turned to his aunt and said “Can we take Thunder out for a walk?” She nodded relieved and satisfied.

Sometimes it’s not the details that we’re missing, but the action. When our mental or sentimental world is in turbulence, our mind gets upset too. It’s not that we are not content with what we have. We are just longing for the reassurance that we matter and that things are not as bad as we often make them out to be. After all, we are only as happy as we allow ourselves to believe we are.