A challenging heartfelt wish

When the last day of a very strenuous year begins with ominous news, you begin to question the very essence of our existence. It’s not only about reviewing everything we’ve been through the past 365 days anymore, or the past two years with a global pandemic still hanging over us. It’s about rethinking our very take on life itself; our perspective on how we march ahead; of what we consider important and prioritise; of what we actually do to live a life; and what even constitutes a ‘life of plenty’, a ‘happy life’.

It’s easy to spread wishes here and there. It’s as simple as saying ‘good morning’ or asking ‘how are you?’. But is it heartfelt? How rarely do we nowadays mean what we say, especially when it has to do with wishing others the best?

We desire health and blessings, happiness and love, strength and success.

What we really want is serenity, someone to lift the mental exhaustion off our shoulders, the safety of having a family nearby – be it of relatives or friends; that secure feeling of knowing that whenever something – anything, no matter how big or small – happens, there is someone there to call. We want peace of mind and of heart, that tranquillity we are so lacking in this modern era, to be able to create the life we want, to pursue the targets we set, to be realistic about what we want to do in our lives, and to have the stamina to live it.

It’s challenging to give out wishes – heck, to even say anything at all – to those who face loss. But encouragement is vital, simply to rest assured that you are not alone; even at the darkest of times, there is always a hint of light somewhere, and true friends/family are there to remind you of it.

So, to lighten the mood on this day and for the sake of hopefully making this a much better year in all respects, here are some genuinely heartfelt wishes:

May all sorrows get locked, and you get showered with the best of the best blessings.

Try to relax in the new year… and don’t think about all of the resolutions you’re supposed to be starting!

Happy New Year! May the coming year be full of grand adventures and opportunities.

May this year be filled with new adventures, good fortunes and surprises for a better life.

May every moment of this year would be unique, filled with pure pleasure and each day comes out like exactly what you want…Happy New Year!

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Illuminating Trees

© Dale Rogerson

“Why do we really need to cut down a tree to decorate it for a month? Isn’t that a waste”? Mary had taken her vegan habits too seriously, questioning almost everything we ever do.

“But that’s its life purpose”, little Joseph stoically responded.

“Do you know that this tradition may have started out as ‘Paradise Trees’ in Bible stories-plays acted out in Medieval Germany to represent the Garden of Eden? Pagans used evergreen tree branches as decorations during the winter solstice to remind them spring is coming”.

“Think of it as an optimistic reminder, illuminating something that gives us life”.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Birthday wishes

My birthday is on Christmas day. In case you haven’t noticed if you’ve been reading this blog for some part of its 9-year history. But what you may not know, is that, though many think it’s “lovely” to have a Christmas Birthday, I don’t really like it. Apart from being somewhat overshadowed by one of the most important holidays of the year, people tend to forget you amidst all the universal celebrations. And it’s just not the same with having an entire day all to yourself. When people can legitimately forget your birthday for not knowing of it.

But there is also the other side: the fact that you get a clearer picture of your friends and acquaintances during this day. Birthdays are a milestone and an indication of who cares. Because those who do, will take five minutes of their time – or less – to send a wish your way, one which will brighten your day and make you feel loved. It doesn’t take much, but to the person in question it makes a huge difference.

Birthdays, like a good friend told me, are a starting point. That day when the counter returns to zero and you start again, afresh, setting new goals for the year ahead, reflecting on what went well, what didn’t, who was there, who shouldn’t have been, and who wasn’t, where you wasted time and where your energy was invested in the year that passed. It is a day that fills you with delight, love, ambition, and determination to enshrine the saying that we grow older becoming wiser (and prettier).

It’s the day when you decide who and what is worth your time and concern. Friendships are evident even in a simple ‘happy birthday’ wish. Because no one is too busy or too distracted with anything else – whatever that may be – to not wish you something nice during the most significant day of your year.

As you blow out the candle on your birthday cake, the wish is almost always the same – more so now during these times – for our loved ones to be well and healthy, to be surrounded by love and positive vibes, to be optimistic that better things are on their way. And to know deep inside that our best days are still to come.

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears”. — John Lennon

Festive Driving

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

It all started with a 10-minute delay of the alarm buzzing. A domino effect soon followed. He was rushing to get dressed, to pack the last things – some of which he obviously forgot – to get into the car and drive off. Of course it had snowed during the coldest night of the year and he also had to shovel the snow off his car simply to find the door.

But when the engine finally started and he was off, the illuminated festive city roads compensated all the hassle.

Driving home for Christmas entails a particular emotion. Of anticipation and excitement.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Quirk of Character

Introverts have a higher threshold than average for letting people in. Be it in their reading lists, their diaries, their lives, their homes, their minds, their hearts. If an introvert starts babbling away to you, you should know that they trust you and feel safe enough to confide in you. It’s not an easy feat for most to achieve.

Call it trust issues if you may, but introverts believe that the people around you need to compliment your happiness, your self-appreciation, and your confidence. Well, it’s what we should all really expect of others anyway. For if someone doesn’t add value to your life, why keep them there if they’ll only make you feel worse?

The truth is, there are certain instances in life that make you reconsider your friendships; who you consider your friends to be; who really are. Because it’s the ones who stick there through the rough times; when you have nothing to say or don’t even want to; at the times it feels like the whole world is against you and you’re raging against ‘the system’. It’s those who seek you as much as you search for them. It’s those who are willing to stay around when you fall face down and will help pick you up; those who see you at your worse are also the ones who deserve to see you at your best. Because as this excellent article says, “friendships do not have to be transactional, but they should absolutely be reciprocal”. It’s not all about having fun. It’s about being there for each other in every situation.

Each person reacts to life’s problems differently. We are not all the same. We have varying idiosyncrasies, mentalities, responses. Some seek assistance anywhere they can; others prefer to close up in their own shells and wait out the storm alone. It has to do with a person’s character and that’s not easy to affect. Introverts need to be left alone. They’ll come to you for help when they’re ready. But they want to know that you’re still there until they do.

In the end it all comes down to the fact that we virtually befriend hundreds of people on social media, but choose to have only a handful around; the best ones – those who remain no matter how far you unwillingly push them out.

“Beware of those who seek constant crowds; they are nothing alone”. – Charles Bukowski

“I restore myself when I’m alone”. – Marilyn Monroe

Wine a little

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

“Listen, if you’re going to whine about things, you might as well do it with a good bottle of wine”, he said as he opened the door to an antique wine cellar.

You could smell the ageing cork as the labels indicated the years-old wine that adorned the shelves.

“You’re disappointed because you constantly expect too much. But worse, because you assume too much.

You say you prefer to know the truth and be disappointed than to wonder, but you do both and don’t avoid the heartbreak either way.

Get over yourself and your fictional scenarios. It’s the only way”.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Winter Wandering

She woke up with the rejuvenating sensation that all is well in the world, simply because outside it was snowing since the previous night.

For some reason, snow always makes everything seem better.

She was genuinely happy after a long time.

He spooned her into a warm hug though which her optimism diffused into him. And that’s how great ideas – at the spark of a moment – are born; how adventures are concocted.

“Let’s go!” he called as he threw the blanket off them, forcing her to get up and get dressed.

“Promise it’s worth it!” he added.

She thought it was difficult – almost impossible – to find herself in a relationship where there was mutual understanding, shared craziness, and above all, truthfulness. But as they grew and evolved together, they both realised that a person who feels appreciated will always do more than is expected. And most importantly, they would actually act on the words they say. Perhaps that was the most difficult of all these days. Because it’s so easy to say a lot, and fill each other with expectation and dreams; but how often do we take the step to realise them all?

The drive to the wooden cabin up the mountain was majestic. The snowy white blanket acted as a tranquiliser, and they soon forgot about every trouble they had at that moment. For now, all that was important was to enjoy the very moment, away from everything and everyone. It was just them, there, happy. In snow.

Making and breaking

The problem with loving too much is that you don’t realise that while you’re elevating others, they’re breaking you.

You allow people to smuggle you around, as if ashamed of you’re there, instead of being proud of your presence.

We want to believe that karma will compensate our sacrifices and goodness will be returned.

But often we just need to see reality for what it is.

Also part of Weekend Writing Prompt #239

The things you shouldn’t know

You know that saying, “it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt”? Well, it’s true for every age, and all contexts.

Happiness comes in waves. But like love and pain, it comes unexpectedly and leaves the same way.

The key to being happy – and most of all serene – is acknowledging that you yourself and you alone are responsible for that precious feeling. You’re the only one who can control your feelings even if most times it doesn’t seem so easy or plausible to do.

It’s a magical and refreshing sensation to allow yourself to get carried away in the moments. Those instances that take your breath away, that have you tearing with laughter so much that your abs hurt. Those glimpses of time you look back on and smile nostalgically.

But there is always that inexplicable – demonic – hunch that nothing is so perfect; and it won’t last.

So what do you do when you see something you shouldn’t have? What if you notice a message you shouldn’t be aware of? Or overhear a conversation you weren’t meant to? How do you “un-know” things you shouldn’t know? How do you press “undo” on life events?

It’s mindblowing how emotions can change in a millisecond. How your entire perspective can alter by knowing something you shouldn’t. How everything moves from one extreme to another simply because of a differentiation of facts. It’s as quickly as clouds of rain form in a clear blue sky and hail begins to pour.

But that you can’t really control.

Can you?

Or is it there to show you something? Because often things happen to remind you what you deserve and to rethink where you are and what you’re devoting your energy and time on. Is it worth it if you’re not feeling happy, appreciated and valued?

Next Episode

Have you ever noticed how we often allow a few bad minutes of a day to wreck the entire 24 hours? High stress levels so easily overwhelm us that we consciously believe the entire world is out to get us; that everything suddenly turns against us simply because of one bad moment. Those five minutes you were late in leaving the house means one hour delay because you missed the bus. But so what? The series of unfortunate events is bound to end sometime.

If you come to think about it, life is an occurrence of episodes. We spend inexplicably long hours in some, and irrationally little time in others, but we constantly find ourselves moving on to the next one. We even wonder, often with intrigue, what the next episode will bring.

It’s refreshing to reflect that the best moments of our life haven’t arrived yet. That’s why we need to be open to things around us; to have our eyes and minds wide open to the splendor that is out there. Life might just surprise us.

What is more, we need to choose wisely who we surround ourselves with; who affect our personalities and character and contribute to forming who we are. We need friends who support us and push us to be better. We need people who bring out the best version of ourselves. We need strong role models, like a mother who shows her daughter she doesn’t need constant company to have a good time; she can simply book a flight and get on a plane and leave – alone – and still have a great time because she is empowered, confident, and courageous enough to do so.

If you take the leap with faith, life will reward you for it. Just believe.

And keep moving forward.