Coffee stop

©Ted Strutz

It was a four-hour drive to Minnesota. A very long period of time to not speak to each other.

“Can we stop for coffee?” she said softly after about an hour and a half passed.

He nodded; “Of course, at the next stop”.

It wasn’t the drink itself that was a necessity for them both. It was the act of reconciling over it.

Coffee, no matter how much a requisite for some to start the day, is a means to enjoying each other’s company. It is the pretext of getting together and sharing views.

Of enjoying life with one another.

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Get out of your head

“The reason we trouble ourselves is because we prioritise one thought over another. And that former one is usually a source of negativity and hypothetical scenarios that may never even play out. We need to get out of our heads and live in the moment. To appreciate what we truly have now, we need to stop dwelling on the ‘ifs’”.

She looked at him silent.

He was right. But she was too stubborn to admit it.

He gazed into her eyes transmitting a calmness that radiated from the depths of his soul. Even his breathing held a tranquil rhythm. She could feel the serenity soothing her. How could she remain angry at him? And for no apparent reason.

“There are so many problems in the world. Serious ones. We don’t need to create more with our minds”, he said opening up his arms to embrace her in a forget-it-all-and-let-it-go hug.

Still she said nothing.

But she smiled, and her eyes lit up.

She loved him for this. For being able to comprehend her mood swings and loving her regardless.

Learn to relax

In a daily routine that we’ve become so accustomed to constantly being engaged with something, how do you truly manage to relax and unwind?

“Relaxing is increasingly difficult in our always-on digital world”, as this excellent article explains.

We are always busy with something, occupying our minds with often useless information, so much that we don’t know what to do in situations when we have no screen to look at and nothing to keep our hands or minds busy with.

The paradox of this world of technological ease and plenty is that we find ourselves unable to relax and switch off. We simply don’t know how to do this anymore.

There are also “periods of time when your mind is so exhausted and overwhelmed it takes itself out of the situation”; when we’re not even engaged in what we’re looking at – totally zoning out, not being able to recall what we’ve done for the last half-hour. It’s as if our mind itself is disassociating itself from its surroundings.

But yet we are still unable to completely switch off.

We live in such hectic rhythms on a daily basis that we find ourselves unable to cope with days off. With not having responsibilities, obligations, or simply something to pass the time with.

Walking outdoors, taking a hike, a bike ride, a road trip, seem “too much trouble” and we dread the idea of finding ourselves somewhere without satellite reception that we’ll be “cut-off from the world” no matter how short a time this will last.

Like everything else in our process of development, we need to learn to relax and switch-off.

It will help us view the world in a different perspective; change mentality on a few things; and perhaps even enable us to adopt a healthier lifestyle.  

Set limits

There is a simple truth we tend to realise the hard way, after suffering too much disappointment in people: not everyone is worth your time.

We need to set limits not to keep others away, but to protect our own selves.

The world has fallen apart because we envy and hate more than we admire and love.

Solidarity is just a word, not an action.

So many empty statements are made, filled with hypocrisy and feint that it is not easy to trust anyone anymore.

We need to clear our lives of toxic, narcissistic people who have nothing real to offer us; to tear off their masks so we can alleviate ourselves from the burden of trying to please everyone to the extent that we neglect our own well-being.

‘No’ is in fact a complete sentence. We need to start saying it more so life can smile upon us.

Everything comes at the right timing, as long as we are able to deal with the situations we are called to face.

To remain optimistic, we need to have positive, smiling people around us.

But unfortunately, those genuinely rejoicing with your happiness are rare to find.

Pull up a chair

© Dale Rogerson

The best thing about having a yard (or a balcony) is that you can go outside and watch the world go by, without actually needing to socialise with anyone.

It helped during those unprecedented lockdowns. And it certainly serves this very purpose when you’re caught in a loop of not really wanting to see or talk to anyone, but want to be outside.

Snowy days are the best for this.

It’s too dangerous to slip and break, and thus it’s recommended to not go outside.

So pull up a chair, lay back, relax, and just observe life as it happens.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Pause and breathe

There is always something to do in a day. If you want to, you can find tonnes of things to keep you occupied – doing your actual work being a fundamental one.

But the thing is, nowadays, we lack the will to do pretty much anything.

We may blame it on languishing, the phenomenon of our times. But it may also be due to a series of reasons.

Life’s hectic rhythms sometimes result in us being too exhausted to be productive. And we realise that if we pressure ourselves, whatever we deliver will not be up to our own high standards. Perhaps that is why we prefer to do anything else, other than our obligations. And that anything else is often nothing. (Unless binging on TV series and Netflix counts as something).

We need days off. If anything to clear our minds and actually relax. Those moments we spent as kids just lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, daydreaming; well, they were actually priceless. Now, we seem to be lacking time for a proper meal, let alone for an instance of losing ourselves in space.

But it is necessary to breathe. To hit pause and do nothing, simply so we can get back on track of actually doing all the things that we’re used to filling our days with.

Work and play

© David Stewart

“I have to work”, he said springing out of bed with a look of utter distress. The anguish of being behind schedule for all his deliveries fed his insomnia for days.

The weekend retreat did not help at all. The days were OK as long as they were walking outside in the fresh air. But his mind was constantly pounded by the professional obligations he had yet to fulfil.

“I know, but first you need to fuel yourself with some energy,” she replied to him tentatively placing a tray filled with a rich breakfast.

He couldn’t refuse the care received.

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Keep calm and sail on

It’s scary when everything seems to flow in order.

It feels like you’re waiting for the storm to arrive.

As if you’re in a canoe blissfully sailing calmly in a river, birds chirping all around, sun shining above, and a cool breeze complementing the ride, but all of a sudden you reach the end of a cliff and a steep waterfall awaits, where – like in movies – you have nowhere to hold on to and you end up falling off, screaming at the top of your lungs, before diving into the water below.

Yes, it might be an exaggeration, or an overreaction, or maybe both.

But nothing lasts forever – neither good nor bad times – and perhaps that is what is most terrifying when it’s all good.

There is not much you can do though, other than what most motivational speakers, life gurus and the like prompt you to: take each day as it comes. Live the moment and you’ll soon see that in creating and indulging in every instant, you build a life, one you’re happy and proud of, and which fulfills every essence of your being.

And that’s all that matters.

Up there

©Roger Bultot

“Take me up there,” she said, pointing at the high-storey building in front of them.

He had asked what she wanted to do for their first day in the city together. He had been there for two months already before their schedules coincided enough for her to be able to visit.

He was planning on surprising her during the few days she was there. He wanted her to stay there with him. And as soon as their eyes met when she arrived, he was certain of it.

He was going to propose up there, with a view of the city.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers