MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the category “Reflections”

The disorder of having everything in order

http://wallpapercave.com/wp/3SmQ4wC.jpgThere is a thing with overthinkers – they usually feel everything too intensely too. And worse – perhaps – of all, they need everything to be in order. They are people who like to have a programme and as much as possible stick to it. They need to know how they want their day to pan out, so that they can try to do as many of those things they can. They are the people who fill their desks with post-its and when they strike out one task add another two.

But these are also the people who can’t stand the uncertainty of not knowing. Of not having a schedule and of being victim to a “wait and see” mentality. They might even panic in the face of this ambiguity.

They are people who usually suffer from an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) of needing to have an order in their life for calm to prevail.

At the same time, these are those who have the deepest emotions. The ones who tear up from a line in a movie, from a surprise of a loved one, from a simple thank you for something they did well. In fact, this latter is what touches them the most – the demonstration of acknowledgement, appreciation and gratification that they are, they do, and they try, at the best of their abilities. It’s nice to tell those that matter that they do, and to these specific people, sometimes the simplest of words may mean the world.

Overthinkers may seem insane, but the world was never changed by sanity.

Maintaining excitement in a habit

https://www.google.gr/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwallpaperswide.com%2Fdownload%2Fsunshine_ocean-wallpaper-1920x1080.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwallpaperswide.com%2Fsunshine_ocean-wallpapers.html&docid=WNfqtZR1VjNxJM&tbnid=373bY1gb-WukrM%3A&vet=10ahUKEwiQ7-L17brUAhXDtBQKHXF2D9o4ZBAzCD4oPDA8..i&w=1920&h=1080&bih=554&biw=1252&q=sunshine&ved=0ahUKEwiQ7-L17brUAhXDtBQKHXF2D9o4ZBAzCD4oPDA8&iact=mrc&uact=8#h=1080&imgdii=kuvntzjULNNgWM:&vet=10ahUKEwiQ7-L17brUAhXDtBQKHXF2D9o4ZBAzCD4oPDA8..i&w=1920We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”, said Aristotle. As such, the quality of the life we live is found in something we do routinely. Without thinking, without pondering too much over it.

Consider this: the majority of the things we do every day is simply habit: the ‘good morning’ and ‘good evening’ greetings we exchange; checking the mailbox when we leave/enter our house; even checking-in on social media or taking a daily selfie. They are all things we do often unconsciously. Things that we find natural.

Entrepreneur Jim Rohn said that “motivation is what gets you going. Habit is what keeps you there”. Having a healthy breakfast; working out often; reading a book once in a while; devoting time to rest and de-stress – they are all things we include in our lives after we do them over and over again.

But the one thing about a habit is that often – even the things we say – occur so automatically they sometimes lose their very essence. We need to ensure that we still mean what we say, no matter how many times we utter it; that we are still as excited as the first time we go on a run; that the breakfast we eat every day is as tasty as the first time we had it. If we can keep that excitement, enthusiasm and enthrallment alive, we have found the road to happiness. Even if staying on that road has become a habit.

Searching for that lost…thing

motivation catWhen your personal trainer tells you “good job” you’re motivated to last a little longer, to try a little harder, to take your limits a bit further.

We all need that encouragement. It’s a boost to reach further than you think you can.

But, similarly, we all need the acknowledgement of a job well done. A recognition of your efforts, be it in the form of a verbal gratification, a written thank you or a monetary compensation.

We need the demonstration of feelings to be satisfied with our own selves. Because just as we often cannot hide what emotion is overwhelming us, in the same context, we would like to be shown that we are admired, sympathized, liked, loved, or even despised. But we want to be clear of what we have to face.

Once in a while, it happens to all of us, though. Losing your motivation or will to do anything creative. And no matter where you search for it, one thing is certain: you’ll never find it unless it comes from within you. Unless you start to do something that’s yours, that expresses you and fulfills you.

Remember, you only fail when you stop trying.

The blue ball

sad_blue_eye_by_emilyeggplantImagine the sensors inside your head as a small ball that light up according to the emotion you feel. Think, for example, that when you’re excited, happy, positive, the ball lights up yellow, shining brightly and illuminating your entire brain and thus essence. But when you’re sad, that ball becomes blue.

Although associated with serenity and calmness, blue is also often linked to sadness. And when the ball in our head turns blue, that is usually when the waterworks begin, when the tears fall sometimes even without you truly knowing why.

It is much harder to change the colour of the blue ball into something else than any other colour transformation. But often times it is necessary to offer yourself some sense of reprieve. To allow yourself to get rid of the blue ball and its negativity that brings you down.

We need the colour in our lives, to enable ourselves to change moods for our own psychological sanity. It is not often easy. But balls are made to roll.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Reprieve

Something ugly for something prettier

http://www.magic4walls.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/water-drops-on-a-white-daisy-after-the-rain-close-up-photo-694x417.jpgIt usually starts quite suddenly, without warning. Clouds settle in, skies darken, lightning strikes and thunder rattles the ground. And it begins to rain. Ranging from light splatter to downpour, when a storm comes it is never pretty.

The good thing about rainfalls, however, is that they give life where it is most needed. Everything seems more refreshed, more rejuvenated, more revived after it rains.

The thunder and lightning may be scary, but the rainbow at the end makes it all worthwhile.

Life is like that too. With its ups and downs; its days of sunlight and days of rain. What matters is that you survive through them all. With people who will stand by you through all the good and the bad.

Wait…and then wait some more

https://images.intelligentinvestor.com.au/w827-h465-cfill/Blog_patience.jpgYou can’t force yourself to be inspired. Whatever you’re trying to do, be it to write an article, find a choreography, make a cake, or even go for a walk. If you can’t feel it, you won’t do it.

It’s simply really. Because the more you don’t really want to do something – the more uncertain you feel about it – the less inspired – or rather enthused – about it you will be.

The point is to allow yourself to find that time when you’ll do something not because you have to, but because you want to. There is a difference.

Sometimes you just have to be patient. And then be patient some more.

Things will come when the time is right. And it will all fall into place.

Intruder alert

http://7-themes.com/6872314-cloudy-sky-landscape.htmlThey creep in at night, under your sheets, through the barred or open windows, in the silence just when you think everything is fine. They disrupt your serenity and upset you without you ever truly comprehending why. And your mood changes indefinitely, depriving you from the ability to control even that.

Intruders are sneaky. They invade your mind when you least expect it.

They cause you to lose sleep and ruffle the sheets, tossing and turning in bed, waking up even more tired than the night before and much more depressed. But the worst part is, you can’t explain why.

Intruders plant thoughts in your head and make you anxious, jealous, skeptical, suspicious.

They cause you to draw scenarios that to an outsider may seem insane but to you, at the moment, may seem perfectly rational.

They result in you becoming a little more bitter, more cynical, more irritable.

And all you really need is some reassurance that you are not as crazy as you believe; that everything is and will continue to be fine.

You need that strong, warm embrace that will carry you into a peaceful sleep, forgetting everything else and enabling you to wake up and face another day stronger.

You want to get rid of those intruders. But sometimes you can’t do it alone.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Bitter

Blink or Think

blinkThe real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking” (Christopher Morley). Some books excel at it. And it is not just the ones that engage you into travelling away from reality, but rather those that make you think more of it.

In Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking, Malcolm Gladwell manages to do exactly that. He makes you consider how those first thoughts you have are the ones that matter the most and are often more correct than if you think thoroughly through something.

The book points out that “the key to good decision-making is not knowledge. It is understanding”. That is why, for instance, when people talk, we listen to their words and watch their eyes in order to pick up the expressive nuances that reveal if what they’re saying is true.

Through a series of stories and case studies, Gladwell attempts to “understand this mysterious thing called judgement – the kind of wisdom someone acquires after a lifetime of learning and watching and doing”. “From experience, we gain a powerful gift, the ability to act instinctively, in the moment. But it is easy to disrupt this gift”, because we live in a world saturated with information and sometimes that works against our judgement. Those subtle influences from our surroundings, our background, our experiences, our network, often very much affect the bias of our unconscious. As such, we are already prejudiced in our decisions, particularly if we dwell hard on them.

These are the “unexpected costs of knowing too much”. That you allow your judgement to be clouded by too many things – often stereotypes. “We are inundated with information and we have come to confuse information with understanding.” That is why, as the book very eloquently explains, “sometimes we can make better judgement with less information”.

The impression you form in a blink – in milliseconds – is in fact more truthful than the one you allow yourself to form after thinking a situation through and permitting the stereotypes in your head to barge through. The point is not to listen with your eyes, but with what your instinct tells you. It is the power of first impressions, of rapid cognition.

It is true of course that “there are some situations where the human mind needs a little help” – where more information is required to form a proper decision. After all, “truly successful decision-making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking”.

But, in the issues that matter most, perhaps the decisions that stem from the unconscious are the ones that will in the end make us happier.

Think about it. Maybe next time just trust that ‘blink’ you get as a first thought and see what happens.

Speak in any way

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-h-nYtjFunAw/Uq5S_l6AVwI/AAAAAAAAS3E/wZwKGL6FcKo/s1600/clear-mind-300x192.jpgYour eyes can say things you refuse to utter. The things you keep sealed off in your silence. Those things that you slowly release with every sigh.

We can’t always comprehend what your soul is trying to say. That is why we need to speak. We need the voice to say what our heart fears to show.

Sometimes we need to shout, others to whisper; every form of communication, however, involves talking. There is often no other way of realizing what it is you feel, what thoughts you hide behind that veil of serenity. It is not easy to hear certain things. And often your fear overclouds what you utter. It is why it is said that you should not speak in panic or anger, for you do not know the (harmful) truths you risk saying.

But it is always best to say it. To look into the eyes you wish to address and truthfully pour out your heart’s concerns. It is the preferable and easiest way to avoid misunderstandings and lessen the path towards each other.

For the more you keep silent the more you push the other one away and the more your hearts drift apart.

The secret to any relationship is learning to speak to each other, even when we don’t want to.

The talk we don’t need to hear

https://img.clipartfest.com/375b05ec1c968abc0180db030fb44d40_-i-should-calm-down-calm-down-clip-art_433-284.jpegThere is a very well-known fact that no-one ever calmed down by being told to calm down. On the contrary, this only causes further irritation.

Because when you’re stressed, angry, or upset about something – anything, whatever that may be – the last thing you need is people telling you to do the one thing you know you need to do.

You’d much rather have someone say something optimistic, positive, reassuring, caring. Someone who maybe would offer some food – chocolate, to be more precise. Someone who would wrap you in a tight hug that would transmit the feeling that everything will be all right. Maybe not at that very instant, but eventually. You just need to be patient. And believe that things will turn out in the end.

It is true that we need to find ways to eliminate stress from our lives. We already know that. We don’t need to hear the obvious. We’d much rather be shown some tender, love and care instead.

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