MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “acknowledgement”

The simplest of things, the greatest of impacts

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d0/12/db/d012dbaaf25aadb98eb810d3da28d29f--animal-kingdom-google.jpgIt is common logic that if you don’t show appreciation to the persons who deserve it, they’ll learn to stop doing those things that help you out, that make your life easier. Because to be honest, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Like Margaret Cousins said, “Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary”.

Being told you matter, you’re appreciated, respected even, loved, is among the simplest yet most uplifting things you can hear.

It’s important to demonstrate you care, because people’s lives are based on – and often filled with – emotions. It’s how we feel alive. How we feel we matter. How we know that what we do has an impact and makes a difference. Being shown that you are valued is what will keep you going.

It doesn’t take much. It’s usually just a few words, a simple action, the smallest of deeds. But to the receiver, it means the world.

The disorder of having everything in order

http://wallpapercave.com/wp/3SmQ4wC.jpgThere is a thing with overthinkers – they usually feel everything too intensely too. And worse – perhaps – of all, they need everything to be in order. They are people who like to have a programme and as much as possible stick to it. They need to know how they want their day to pan out, so that they can try to do as many of those things they can. They are the people who fill their desks with post-its and when they strike out one task add another two.

But these are also the people who can’t stand the uncertainty of not knowing. Of not having a schedule and of being victim to a “wait and see” mentality. They might even panic in the face of this ambiguity.

They are people who usually suffer from an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) of needing to have an order in their life for calm to prevail.

At the same time, these are those who have the deepest emotions. The ones who tear up from a line in a movie, from a surprise of a loved one, from a simple thank you for something they did well. In fact, this latter is what touches them the most – the demonstration of acknowledgement, appreciation and gratification that they are, they do, and they try, at the best of their abilities. It’s nice to tell those that matter that they do, and to these specific people, sometimes the simplest of words may mean the world.

Overthinkers may seem insane, but the world was never changed by sanity.

Searching for that lost…thing

motivation catWhen your personal trainer tells you “good job” you’re motivated to last a little longer, to try a little harder, to take your limits a bit further.

We all need that encouragement. It’s a boost to reach further than you think you can.

But, similarly, we all need the acknowledgement of a job well done. A recognition of your efforts, be it in the form of a verbal gratification, a written thank you or a monetary compensation.

We need the demonstration of feelings to be satisfied with our own selves. Because just as we often cannot hide what emotion is overwhelming us, in the same context, we would like to be shown that we are admired, sympathized, liked, loved, or even despised. But we want to be clear of what we have to face.

Once in a while, it happens to all of us, though. Losing your motivation or will to do anything creative. And no matter where you search for it, one thing is certain: you’ll never find it unless it comes from within you. Unless you start to do something that’s yours, that expresses you and fulfills you.

Remember, you only fail when you stop trying.

Something to hide

gondola08She was tired. In fact, she was exhausted. But he refused to acknowledge it. He failed to see how she strived to make her daily routine seem so effortless, while she was camouflaging the pain in the smile she always wore.

He worked hard. And she worked even harder. She tried to support him as much as she could, without asking for anything in return, other than a simply gesture of appreciation, a humble ‘thank you’, a hug and a kiss.

She was sick. But he failed to see it.

Not even when her light was dimming, could he see that he was losing her. She didn’t speak out, of fear that she would upset him too much and that he would overreact, as he usually did when trying to gain control of a situation.

Instead, she allowed herself to wither in the silence of her progressive departure. He was too fixated on his own beliefs to see that something was wrong. And it was only when she left that he realised what had happened. That fateful morning when she was no longer there. When the sky darkened and clouds brought on a tremendous storm.

But it was too late. He had allowed her to drown in her own secret, alone, because she loved him too much to make him worry.

She left with a photo of their last trip together hovering over their bed as an eternal memory.

The human weakness

https://trans4mind.com/quotes/reflect.jpgHere’s how it goes; if you want a pep talk, then you’ll have to learn to swallow the truth: No-one cares what’s going on in your life. They don’t care if you’re sick, if you’re tired, if you have personal problems, work difficulties, or whatever. They don’t even care if they call and are interrupting you from something, or if they send you a message and are disturbing you. They don’t care if the time you devote to them means that you’re missing out on your own time, which you could have spent doing something else. No-one cares about all that. All they care about is getting what they want from you.

Everybody has their own business to attend to. Everyone has their own path to follow, but that doesn’t mean it is the same for everyone. That is what we need to acknowledge and understand. Because it is said that successful people never worry about what others are doing. What you should worry about, is doing whatever it is your doing right. Like Paolo Coelho says, “We can never judge the life of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path”.

Humans have an inherent and unalterable weakness: they are, by nature, selfish. What they care about is themselves: how to further their own interests, how to achieve their own goals, regardless of whom or what they trample on. And to add to that, they are greedy. They always want more and nothing is ever enough.

If you can master these two characteristics: if you can teach yourself to care about the lives of others too, to be more sympathetic to their own needs, and to realise that you don’t know their story or what they’re going through; if you can convince yourself that things could always be worse – you could have nothing – then you will become a better person. And if you can pass this on so that more people can become better, then that is how society will improve.

Be positive and smile, even when things don’t seem to go your way. Even that slight gesture may change someone’s world.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Recognize

Superpowers aren’t just for heroes

MagicPOOFWhen doing all these online quizzes (with which it’s so easy to procrastinate doing anything else), there is almost always one question that asks what superpower you would like to have – usual replies are: the ability to fly, to read other people’s thoughts or to be invisible. Between flying and invisible (because do you really want to read other people’s thoughts?) I would often choose invisibility. But unless it’s Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, what I would much rather would be to disappear.

There are some days more than others that you really do wish the earth would just open up and swallow you down. Well, maybe not while you’re in bed wearing your pyjamas, because if there is anything down there worth exploring, you would at least like to be decently dressed for it.

But the urge to disappear comes mainly due to all the things that are happening during that period. The constant running around, nothing going right, the countless responsibilities you have, the fact that there is not enough time in a day or even in a week to do them all, the lack of sleep, the insufficient food, and above all the immense tiredness that strikes your emotional chords leaving you close to a nervous wreck. And worse of it all, the fact that no-one understands this, or even cares about it all.

I admit there are days that I actually have to drag myself out of bed, after hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock – actually my phone – so many times that it automatically stops yelling at me. And then after I get up, I spend five minutes looking for my phone, only to find it hidden under the pillow.

It’s a problem being good and diligent at what you do. Because it doesn’t allow you any time to rest. You know, as well as all those who depend on you, that almost no-one can do it as well or as attentively as you. Without meaning to sound boastful, that is the perks of being a perfectionist. But it is also the curse of it. And although I actually like all the things I do, sometimes all I want is to simply disappear. Even if it is only for a while. I would like to see how all these things I do, and which to some may simply seem as though they magically appear to be done out of nowhere, how all of them would be done if I were gone.

Haven’t you ever wanted to disappear, even for just a little bit? For starters, you would be able to encompass the flying power with the ability to hear what other people were thinking / saying about you – well, at least in my head you would!

But it would also allow you to see the world without you, how your loved ones and the people you deal with every day would actually be affected by your disappearance. It might bring you further down, but if you really are the struggler you believe to be, what you would see would really bring you back up. Maybe in your absence they would actually express all the things they don’t in your presence. Maybe that would even get them to understand that some things should be said to others while they are still there – like how much they are appreciated and loved, and how much all that they do is recognized and acknowledged.

Disappearing is not just a magic act. It’s a wakeup call to everyone. Including yourself.

Sometimes you think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.

The biggest appointment

rebelDear Diary,

John got upset with me again. He yelled and stormed out of the room. My John. The person who I thought would understand how I felt and why this was so important to me. The person who saw me spend nights and days without sleep, racing to beat sunrise in my attempt to please everyone and have everything done as best I could. The person who saw me forgo meals in order to finish some report or analysis. The one who picked me up when I collapsed for all of the above. I wish he (and so many others) would understand why it thus matters to me to be acknowledged, to be appreciated, to at least be recognized as important and not be taken as granted.

I am used to striving for excellence in everything I do, yet it seems that does not matter. I’m even being rejected for jobs because I’m overqualified. I know being a perfectionist is an ambivalent quality – but in the best of cases it means that you will always deliver the highest quality possible. Why is that not appreciated? All it takes is a simply heartfelt “thank you” every now and again.

And today, today I’m feeling ill inside. I feel left out of so many things. Even my life itself. It’s like high school all over. Because no matter what anyone says that never really stops. There are still those cliques, the mean girls, the jocks, and you trying to figure out where exactly you belong in all of this insanity.Here's to the crazy ones - Steve Jobs

I’ve been described as many things – good I hope. But lately I keep finding myself being considered the rebel, the reactionary, the non-conformist. The one who keeps yelling and gets irritate with a tick in the wrong place. It seems like nothing I say even gets understood, never mind acknowledged. And I am always the bad cop in every equation.

One thing I’ve realized out of all this, is that no matter how much you prepare yourself you are never truly ready for this. The biggest appointment in life is the day you realize that nothing is what you expected. Not even close to what you thought it would be. Miles away from what you’ve ever dreamt. It is then that disappointment hits you like a full-force tidal wave pounding on your wooden shack. And all you can do is scramble afloat for air and muster the courage to survive.

It is hard being the rebel in a status quo world. Many said it would be worth it. But no-one said life would be easy.

Love,

Anna

Also part of Daily Prompt: The Heat is On

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