MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “anticipation”

Fear of the unknown

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“Come on, let’s go!” His voice was anxious, masking the excitement and enthusiasm of a well-kept secret only he knew.

She was reserved, almost scared. Where were they going? Why? What would be there? How would they go? How long would it take? Her mind was a whirlwind of questions. She probably appeared dazed too, perhaps betraying her confusion to the outsider. So much, that it prompted him to reassure her. “It’ll be fine. Don’t be so afraid. It’s going to be fun!”

He took her hand and led her to the car. He smiled at her, his eyes glowing. She smiled back nervously. “Sometimes you don’t need to have all the answers,” he said.

When the car stopped, he turned towards her. She was gazing outside trying to figure out where they were. “Close your eyes”, he said. She was almost shocked. “Come on, close your eyes. You’ll ruin the surprise otherwise. Don’t you trust me?” It was a cheap card to play – the trust issue – but he knew she would cave to it. “No peeking either!”

She gripped his arm as he led her out of the car and up a grassy hill. The fresh air penetrated her nostrils and filled her lungs with oxygen. It helped her get her mind off the fact that her heart was pumping mad with anguish about this unknown event.

We’re here,” he said. She timidly opened her eyes.

In the middle of a picture-perfect scene – green valley, tall trees in bloom, colourful flowers, peace and quiet – there lay a picnic feast waiting for them.

She laughed wholeheartedly and jumped in his arms.

“Sometimes not knowing too much is the best way to keep calm,” he winked.

Wrong expectations

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRInd3unnYE7s3GQnfW4-gHpuRbPU7h5B1jKr941Es75AipF0bMAnticipation. It’s that feeling of excitement and restlessness you get when you’re expecting something, usually positive. It’s that sense that no room or space can contain you. It’s a thrill of an imminent gush of happiness.

But when it doesn’t occur, it feels like the whole world is crashing down on you.

Perhaps it is therefore true that “peace begins where expectation ends” (Sri Chinmoy) and that is also why so many prompt us to “expect nothing and accept everything”. The root of all heartache and disappointment lies in the fact that we expect too much from people. And in that, we can only blame ourselves. Not everyone is capable of living up to our standards or even the standards we lift them up to and hope they reach.

What upsets us most in life is the picture in our head of how everything is supposed to be. It’s how we imagine everything in contrast to how they turn out to be in reality.

So, maybe it is better to not expect things to happen. It’s certainly better to be surprised than disappointed.

In anticipation

http://www.ldssmile.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/maps-of-all-the-Christmas-lights-in-utah.jpgWith Christmas just a week away, and the New Year a few days to go, we all seem to have something to be waiting for. (I have something more due to my birthday too next week). The lights in the street and the brightly lit houses, the decorations, the fancy atmosphere…they all emit a feeling that something wonderful is about to happen. So we wait…we wait and anticipate that in that one or two days that we celebrate, we will be recompensed for all the hardship the year has brought.

We wait and expect that suddenly this wonderful time of the year will lighten our mood and brighten our lives. Because in essence we need to believe that things will turn out as brightly as the decorations we load upon our houses. We need the optimism of the season in order to survive.

But we spend almost an entire month, if not more, counting down in anticipation of literally just one day that will pass by quicker than we’ll realise. We wait, sometimes forgetting that life is composed of “nows”, those everyday moments that make up our memories. Those experiences that we share with loved ones, which forge who we are and who we want to become.

It is said that good things are worth waiting for, but also that good things don’t last long. The truth is, we also need to try; to put in the effort so that those good things come along a little bit faster and last a bit longer.

In the end, life is what we make of it. And it is how we chose to see it and experience it.

That thing you really need

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It’s the thing you read in books
The storyline you see in movies
The lyrics you hear in songs.

It’s what you keep waiting for,
Hoping it will happen to you,
Anticipating, but trying not to expect it.

It’s what you tell yourself you can live without,
That you can survive on your own,
That it’s not something you need.

But when it arrives, it changes you.
You wonder how you managed to live short of it,
And you remember nothing before it.

The love of a friend is priceless.
Because if fills your heart and soul
With what you long for the most:
Companionship and support.
Knowing someone will always be there no matter what.
Without judgement.
Without criticism.
Only love.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Friend

In a rush

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ea/64/d7/ea64d7f39d107412505e68fefe97325f.jpgThere are some days when you can’t do everything you plan in the morning. When you begin by snoozing your alarm clock five times in order to steal “just a few more minutes of sleep”, but then jump out of bed startled that it is already so late and you’re still in bed. Then by the time you get into your energy mode, you realise it’s already noon (see what happens when you get up late?).

Noon rapidly turns into early afternoon and by now you are starting to cross off a thing or two from your “to do” list, but have already added a couple on the bottom, so that really cancels everything out. But at least you’ve done something you planned to do.

And then all of a sudden it’s evening already and the day is almost over. You are rushing to get things done, pausing for a time check every now and then, as you are literally racing against the clock.

A day has 24 hours. How can that not be enough?

So there are days when you are simply forced to postpone certain things for later. But that sometimes is OK. Because it builds up the anticipation. It keeps you busy. And motivated. Because we all need something to look forward to, don’t we?

So far yet so near

mailbox (2)How many times can you honestly say that you looked forward to the mailman coming? How many times have you rushed to the postbox to see if you had a letter, other than some package you ordered online and of course not the usual bill you have to pay? A true letter. A correspondence from a friend. Something that would make you check the postbox in anticipation, eagerly awaiting that small envelope with that familiar handwriting addressed to you. And in that, it would enclose news, something you would otherwise share with your friend over coffee, or a walk in the park. If only you were not separated by so many miles. And the small problem of never having actually met…

I have one such friend. A person with whom I literally grew up.

The other day, I was sorting out some old stuff. And I found that I have been sharing my life with this penfriend since even before my teens. It’s funny to see how we evolved together. How we shared our daily routines, from the time we went to school, our high school crushes, our hobbies and interests, and how this later turned out into something more “serious”. Into going to study what we love at university, finding work and leading a “grown-up life”.

My friend and I have shared a lifetime together. But we have never met in person.

Having only known the image of each other from photos, we grew closer together from our writing. From these letters we exchange every so often. Even in this digital age, and despite our contact on social networks, we still write letters to each other in the traditional way – yes with pen and paper. Why? Because it’s fun! Because no matter everything else that changes, this is something that remains constant. Because no matter where in the world we are, we still write to each other and share our experiences, our thoughts and concerns. Because there is a certain elation in getting a letter in the post, that you know is exclusively for you and does not demand any money in return. Because it simply is a joy.

Growing up with a penfriend from across the world, I have learnt to indulge into different cultures. To want to know more about how people outside the constraints of my nation live, think and act. I have learned to appreciate difference and diversity and have learned to value the importance of human contact. You can’t live life alone. And sometimes when you want to escape the toxic routine of your daily life, having a penfriend, someone who will let you in on their own life even from afar, will help you do just that.

I love having a penfriend. And after so many years and countless letters, I still look forward every time to the moment I will open the post box and find her letter waiting for me. It is an excitement that words cannot describe. Because sometimes it is the joy in the simple things that become your greatest treasure.

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