MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “broken”

A Snowman’s Heart has it that if you can warm up a snowman’s heart, s/he will become a real person. The person s/he once was. That is why we try to dress up these big, round snow-persons as best as possible, expecting that the glow will reignite inside and they will return to being happy.

Joy grew up believing in this legend and every year she would devise all sorts of things in the hope of turning the snowman into a real person. She would dress him with beautiful, colourful, clothes – not just the scarf, but a jacket, gloves, a woollen hat, sunglasses even. But that wouldn’t work. One year, she even made a snowwoman to keep him company, wishing that love and companionship was what made the snowman’s heart grow colder.

The year her parents divorced, Joy was still a teenager. When winter came, she understood why the season causes some to fill with melancholy and depression. And when her own heart was broken, she realised what it is that makes some hearts grow cold.

Then she found a random hand-written note in a book she had borrowed from the library. It read: “Here’s the thing about people with good hearts. They give you excuses when you don’t explain yourself. They accept apologies you don’t give. At your worst, they lift you up, even if it means putting their priorities aside. It’s because they don’t make you work hard for the attention they give you. They accept the love they think they’ve earned and you accept the love you think you’re entitled to. Let me tell you something. Fear the day when a good heart gives up on you. Our skies don’t become grey out of nowhere. Our sunshine does not allow the darkness to take over for no reason. A heart does not turn cold unless it’s been treated with coldness for a while”.

It was signed with a snowflake.


Self-inflicted wounds said to find someone who makes you happy. So you do. It takes time and effort and lots of heartbreak, but you do. You find that one and you start giving them all of your attention because they’re what makes you forget everything bad that’s going on in your life. They’re the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you sleep just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It sounds so great to have that someone. But it all gets so scary when you see how easily they can just leave and take all that happiness away too when they go.

And then you have to search again for that lost serenity first and foremost, before you can feel you can survive again. Because they’re still in your mind. And you still want it to be them that you talk to.

What is more, the pain of it all is hidden in everything around you, in all the things that hold a memory, a smile, a laughter, an image of a time when things were different. And you wonder if you’ll ever have that again. With that person you still feel for.

Love isn’t easy. Neither is life. It all takes effort. A lot of it. And a love that lasts. Truly and forever.

They said it would all be worth it in the end.

“The worst thing about heartbreak is that it’s a self-inflicted wound. After all, wasn’t it I who fell in love with you?” – Jessica Katoff

Broken people

We are all broken. In some form or other.

We feel the need to believe in something ideal, in dreams, in positive thoughts.

But soon there comes a time when it all dawns on you.

There is no ideal.

There is no perfect.

And often nothing is at all like you hope it would be.

There is no prince on a white horse.

Nor is there a model-figure princess.

There is no magic to solve it all.

There is no clear reason for everything that happens.

Life is not as easy or as simplified as that.

We end up sharing out pieces of each other every time we open up to one another.

But whenever relationships end badly, those pieces are also lost.

And we are left broken.

Trying to continue life with the knowledge that we may never get what we want.

But despite being broken, we still fight to survive.

Because in the end, that is all we have.

Cold Black Hearts

Black black heart






Black clouds fill the sky
Dark as my heart.
The cold freezes the misty air.

I sit here alone
the snowflakes melting
into raindrops.

There is no warmth,
No fireplace lit. The memories
are burning.

You forgot and so easily
moved on. But my soul
is still hurting.

Shattered dreams
like broken glass
never the same again.

There is no life
in winter’s frost. No love,
no remedy.

It’s time for something
fresh. A new start.
Maybe next year.

The broken plate

broken plateWhy? Why is it so hard to talk to someone? To tell them what you feel, what you think, or exactly what you want? It shouldn’t be this hard. It’s not “normal”. You shouldn’t have to plan out and rehearse what you want to say, always waiting for the opportune moment, because that moment will never arrive. It simply doesn’t exist. But why does the fear embrace her soul every time she wants to say something?

Marie stood there, staring out the window with her eyes misty and depressed. Nothing in her life was what she wanted. It was not the life she dreamt. Not what she wished for. Not even worth living. There was nothing that made her truly happy. Without any worries. She couldn’t even feel relaxed anymore. Her routine had overwhelmed her and stress had taken over her very being. She couldn’t even eat or sleep. And it wasn’t because she was in love. It was because pursuing happiness is so much tougher than everyone makes it out to be.

And then, every time she wanted to speak to someone, to let out all these feelings, to relieve some of the pain at least, she just couldn’t. Why was it so hard? Why did she feel so alone and invisible at times? So unwanted and unappreciated? What had happened?

Clouds drifted quietly and covered the sun. For a few minutes it grew dark even though it was the middle of the day. That was how Marie felt too. At least the sky could understand her. That meant something too…

She stood there silently, playing out different scenes in her head. Letting her mind drift to the past, to the future and then back to the present. But to her, there was nothing worth fighting for there. She knew she had to keep going. Persistence and struggle would in the end get her what she wanted. What she dreamed for. But it was hard and she needed the support that she felt was so lacking around her.

And then…

Then for a moment that seemed to last a lifetime, the plate she was holding, that pretty plate with flowers on, flowers that symbolized love and peace and harmony, fell from her hands, hitting the floor and scattering into pieces, shattering her heart along with it. She stood there in what seemed like minutes on end, looking down at it. A dark cloud had swallowed up her core. She was trembling. Fear had encircled her and was standing right there with her. And she just stood there not knowing what to do. And a tear trickled down her cheek…Silently stating its presence…

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