Where the door is always open

©Fleur Lind

Family is the people you run to when your heart is broken to alleviate your sorrow when life gets too much.

Family is the people you constantly quarrel with and sometimes can’t stand, but simultaneously the ones you miss terribly when they’re away.

Family is the people who buy you scratch cards simply to see you smile when you win. The ones who take you on long walks, rambling along the way, just to make you forget your own troubles.

Family is where a door is always open for you to return because the love is unconditional. Always and forever.

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Life-changing flares

It takes courage to get up in the morning and convince yourself that today will be the day when something so wonderfully extraordinary happens that life will never be the same.

It takes guts to be so cheerful before you’ve barely opened your eyes.

Leo was one of those guys.

He was that person who sang as he shaved before going to work. Who made breakfast for the family on weekends. Who hardly complained about anything, because ‘what good would that do?’ He was the one who could literally turn your frown upside down because when you saw him, you wished there were more of him in the world.

Linda was a girl with mood swings. Like any female, she was easily affected by hormonal changes, to the extent that days of laughter would be preceded by spurs of inexplicable irritation or followed by moments of melancholic sobbing. There was no real explanation for any of it. She was, however, a person who would wear her heart on her sleeve; she would do anything she could and more to take care of the people she loved. She would organise surprises and be happier for the emotion felt rather than the gift itself. She was a person who would go all out, and despite what she said, she secretly hoped someone would do something similar for her too.

When they met, the flare lit up inside both instantly.

Leo asked her if she believed in fate. “What if everything we lived was precisely to lead us to this very moment, so that we could meet right here, right now?”

“What if we’re one connection away from changing our entire lives?” was her response.

She smiled and his entire world lit up. His heart fluttered and she blushed, her eyes glistening with happiness.

It wasn’t always easy. But they tried. Together. It required finding the middle line. Making compromises and retreating when fighting would not lead anywhere.

“I need you to be happy, because we can’t be sad together,” he told her when she felt blue.

“If you laugh, I’ll smile,” she would reply.

And step-by-step they would make each other better.

In life we don’t need extravagance; just one person to turn on the light. Everything else will follow.

The many forms of love

“So what’s the secret to a love that lasts forever?”

She sat cross-legged in front of their old armchair where grandma was sitting. Grandpa just arrived with their morning cup of tea and a rose on the tray. They were by far the most loving couple she knew. Their relationship counted decades and was filled with ups and downs. But they were always there for each other. Supporting one another all the way in their common life journey.

“There’s no one answer to that,” grandmother smiled.

“It’s all the tender things that show each other we care. The fact that we never stop laughing. Or having something to talk about. We trust in that we’ll always have each other.”

“The not giving each other a reason to nag,” grandpa added poking his wife.

“It’s the smallest of rituals like having dinner together, or going for a walk. Cooking or cleaning in turn. But it’s also about remaining attractive to each other.”

“Keeping the spark alive,” he winked.

“Love has many forms,” grandma stated. “You’ll know it in your heart. Because no matter how far you reach that cliff, your partner will never let you fall. We don’t give up in times of trouble; we become closer and fight it off as one”.

Grandpa kissed her on the cheek as he handed her the rose and grandma blushed like a teenager still in love.

Booster talks

© Bill Reynolds

“I talk to them”.

The globally renowned herbologist’s answer to how her plants grow healthier and faster than average stunned the reporter.

“Studies have shown that talking to plants helps them grow faster. I believe the sound of a soft, caring voice is perceived as vibrations, and plants can sense the love you give to them. Kind of like humans or animals do”.

“But they also give something back. When I’m in my greenhouse, I also get a much-needed psychological boost. Spending time with and around my green-leafed friends can be calming and it promotes good mental and physical health”.

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Caring or not

©Fleur Lind

“People lack sensitivity these days; they can’t get into another’s shoes”.

The voices from the adjacent table were distracting Meg’s thoughts.

Perhaps those insensitive were happier, though, she rebutted silently. They hardly care enough to be worried or stressed about anything.

The problem with being too sensitive is that often you sacrifice your own well-being out of fear of hurting the other’s feelings. You stay silent too long, and someday it all erupts uncontrollably. As a result, it pains both you and the person you’re trying to shield.

Perhaps not caring as much isn’t that bad.

But not for all.

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A sign of caring

©Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

In an ideal happy-reality scenario, girls grow up to be their daddy’s princess. They then spend most of their mature lives seeking a prince who remotely resembles the king that raised them.

Perhaps that is a mistake, though.

We set off in life with high expectations. Which often lead to bitter disappointments.

But every so often, someone comes along who surprises us pleasantly. And in the very moment when you’ve given up hope, and surrendered to the belief that what you long for does not exist.

It’s the details that make the difference. Like a simple sign that you care.

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A hug and a hot beverage

“When people are upset, the cultural convention is to bring them a hot beverage”. So says Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.There is an intrinsic truth in that a warm drink offers comfort. It soothes your insides like a warm hug and subconsciously makes you feel a little better. As if giving you space and the capacity to breathe somewhat deeper.

The convention, however, lies in the fact that by offering a beverage, you demonstrate you care. And in essence, that’s what we’re all looking for. Someone to be there when we’re not ourselves. We need the assurance that someone is looking out for us when we’ve given up on that. That there are people who care, because we matter.

A hot beverage is more than just a comfort drink. It is like a hug in a mug. And we all know how important hugs are.

Family therapist Virginia Satir once said: “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”. But even then, they may not be enough. Hugging is an intimate expression of safety. You feel the other person’s heartbeat on your chest and instantly feel comforted and reassured that whatever it is you’re facing it will pass. What we’re really doing – if you come to think about it – is fighting away loneliness. Because that’s what scares us the most. Of grieving alone, of being overwhelmed by sadness alone, of not having anyone to alleviate the suffering you most probably create by overthinking.

So, offer hugs abundantly. And a hot beverage too.

Sparking joy

His name was Elfy and he was…well…an Elf. He lived in the North Pole ever since he could remember. He was born there, actually. His father had been appointed head of Santa’s tech team and he transferred his entire family there just months after Elfy’s older brother was born.

Elfy was raised in the most wonderful place in the world, according to most children – and some adults too. He grew up near a person many didn’t even believe existed.

When he was young, he did not understand why so many people worked so hard all year round for just one day, and why so many material things were created to be used scarcely and to then demand even more of them.

Elfy disliked the entire process for another reason as well: he was born on Christmas day.

Having a Christmas birthday is both a blessing and a misfortune.

But one year, he realised that things only take the perspective you choose to give them.

He was handing out presents on his birthday, even though he received few – if any – in return, most even forgetting it was a particularly special day for him.

Those closest to him though would find ways to make him feel grateful.

For example, his best friend who was called Gnome, although that wasn’t his birth name. He was short and chubby and everyone burdened him with chores, because he would just not say ‘no’ to anyone. He was the type who would give his whole self, but nobody gave back anything to him. But that did not stop his good nature.

Elfy loved him, although he sometimes felt Gnome was allowing others to exploit him to the maximum.

When they were still children, Elfy didn’t know what to give Gnome for Christmas one year. It was a problem when you had it all. Literally. He remembered though that Gnome usually complained that his feet were constantly cold and he couldn’t sleep at night. So he got him a fluffy pair of woollen socks, beautifully wrapped up in a box with a red bow. Gnome was surprised and emotional at the sight. It was a present that was useful to him and signified that he had a friend who cared and above all, listened.

It was then that Elfy realised that giving a gift could spark joy just as much – or possibly even more – than receiving one. Because in giving you get the chance of making someone else happy. You create happiness and spread joy. And that is the entire point of the holiday, anyway.

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give” – W. Churchill

The quiet ones

It’s the quiet ones you should fear. Because they have a whirlwind of thoughts howling in their minds.

They won’t always tell you what they’re thinking, but you can see their emotions reflected in their eyes.

They are the ones who will look out for you no matter what. They’ll be there whenever you ask for help, and will go out of their way to please you. They’re the ones you want to have as friends because you take for granted that they’ll do their utmost for you. But they’re also the ones you fail to appreciate. Yet, they stay. Because that is the type of person they are. They don’t measure or count what they do for you, they do things because they feel them in their heart.

The quiet ones are the ones who also need others the most, regardless how much they say otherwise.

They would ideally like to have people around who care as much as they do. People who during a crisis will show up without having been asked to simply to check in on them. We all want friends around us who every once in a while ask if we’re OK, if we need anything, or simply to be there for a walk, a chat, and a hug. People who are present and make it all seem manageable because we don’t feel like we’re fighting against the world alone.

It’s the quiet rivers that lead to the loudest streams. But when they’re calm, they offer the most refreshing waters.

Frozen paws

There was no sign of it in the morning. Even before the sun was out, there was frost in the atmosphere and it was freezing. But it was expected to stay dry. It was in the midst of winter, however, and snow was always a possibility.

Not even a half hour had passed when the first snowflake hit the windshield.

The Chihuahua inside the warm vehicle got excited. As if it had understood the magic that was happening. It began to hop on the seat, stretching out its little tongue as if to lick the snowflakes that began to mount on the glass in front of it.

The driver next to the small dog was smiling. Not only because of the white scenery that began to spread rapidly now; but mainly due to the unexpected reaction from his four-legged friend.

When the road began to become more slippery, they slowed down. Caution was required.

That was when the little dog pinned its eyes outside a certain spot on the window and began to bark. Its tail was elongated like a needle.

The driver stopped and got outside.

The snow was even denser now. You could almost feel it falling on you. The Chihuahua managed to slip outside just before the car door closed.

There in front of them, near some snow-covered bushes was a furry bagel-like-circle. You could barely make out its pointy ears and fluffy tail. The snowflakes had almost engulfed it.

The dog’s owner approached cautiously and extended his hand. The fox opened its eyes. It didn’t move. Perhaps it was too scared. Or perhaps it was too numb from the cold. Its piercing blue-green eyes almost begged for help.

The driver picked it up without breaking the circle it had sat in. Inside the warmth of the car, the fox fluffed up its fur and almost appeared to smile.

The Chihuahua was happy. It didn’t want to be enjoying the luxury of a refuge when some other co-animal was freezing outside. Just because you’re safe, doesn’t mean everyone else is too.