MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “change”

The truth about memories

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In those moments when you stop and just listen to yourself breathe, what passes through your mind? In those instances when the answer to “what are you thinking” is sincerely “nothing”, what is it that occupies the images in your head?

Often, it is memories. Past experiences, feelings, sensations, things we lived, saw, said.

The truth about memories is that you choose to remember them. You select which ones you carry around with you.

They are usually the happy ones; the ones from your childhood playing carefree with your parents and siblings without any problems hovering above you. It’s those instances that are filled with heartfelt laughter and genuine love. True unconditional deep-down mind-blowing good times.

But there are also the painful ones. The memories that have scarred you. That have broken you and showed you that you are stronger than you then thought because you managed to heal and survive. They are the experiences that have irreparable placed their mark on you. The ones you’ve never truly overcome, either because you’ve not forgiven them or because the hurt serves as a reminder to always be cautious. They are the memories that feel like a punch in the stomach and a cringe in the heart every time they are recalled to mind. But they are too part of what shaped you.

Memories, either good or bad, are part of who we are. They are what cause us to become the personalities we are, with the mentalities we have, the thoughts we carry and the ideas we generate. They are what are responsible for our moods or mood swings, for our optimism or realism, for our cynicism, our hope, our despair, every aspect of what makes us….unique.

The catch, however, is to remember that these memories belong to the past. The present is there for you to create more memories, to live a life worth remembering in the future.

 

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Cooking temptations

https://usateatsiptrip.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/gettyimages-887636042.jpg?w=1000&h=600&crop=1His father was the one who taught him to be patient and follow instructions. To risk in trying something new. To be creative, inventive and artistic in everything he did. He was the one who taught him how to cook.

His mother was an excellent cook. Her food was finger-licking tasty. But she was the “safe-type”, the one who preferred to follow instructions exactly as they were written with few if any deviations from the recipe. Like all women, she preferred order in her kitchen.

His father, on the other hand, had a mastery for cooking up his own recipes. He usually made a mess out of the kitchen, but prepared something spectacular in the end. He found that if something looked pleasant to the eye, it probably tasted good too. He was the “innovative chef”, the one who didn’t mind trying unprecedented procedures or cooking methods. Who preferred to get burnt and learn than to keep doing the same thing that was passed down to him. He was the one who wanted to have something new to pass on to the next generations.

So when Anton graduated from the top gastronomy school in the world, it was only natural that he would distinguish himself in the sector. A kitchen was more his home than his living room. He did not fear the blades of his knives or the fire of his stove. What he most anguished about what his most severe critic: his own future wife. For he knew that the best way to a person’s heart is through their stomach. And it was all down to the judgement of their taste buds to give the final verdict.

Lessons in the wind

http://www.sportime.gr/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/windwind.jpgThe wind was racing outside her window. It was storming its way across the land, causing everything in its way to swish along with it. People were terrified of this force of nature. It left them feeling powerless because there was nothing they could do to stop it. And people fear what they cannot control.

But in cases of howling winds, there are two things you can do, like a Chinese proverb says: either build a wall against it, or build windmills to use it.

Just as everything that occurs whether we like it or not, we can either choose to shield ourselves and pretend it doesn’t happen, or actually do something and react to it.

Winds are useful in our lives. They demonstrate a change that is happening regardless of what we think. And it reminds us how powerless we are in our natural habitat.

Dispersing energy

https://www.google.gr/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiRh_a2vsLdAhVByxoKHdd8DyAQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftechcrunch.com%2F2015%2F06%2F30%2Fplanting-the-seed-silicon-valley-mind-control-and-finding-order-in-chaos%2F&psig=AOvVaw238YOYe_j6rwSyvyLP_nc8&ust=1537289132528063There is a quote that helps us remember that we need to devote our energy into the things that matter. There are many sayings, in fact, but this one is the most emphatic: “If you can solve your problem then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?” Clever, no?

Think about it. There are so many quotes we share in our lives daily, reminding us to “don’t worry, be happy”. For example, “the 5 by 5 rule:  If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes being upset by it”.

We tend to overreact to things that don’t matter as much as we think. And we often drain ourselves of the energy to react effectively to the things that do matter and need our attention.

If we were given life to disperse energy, then why not make that diffusion a positive one? Why do we spend so much time with negative energy, complaining, moaning and lamenting? Wouldn’t our lives be better if we focused more on smiling, on being kind and sensitive, on putting ourselves in each other’s shoes once in a while, on trying to understand the other’s perspective, on being a ray of light in a world that insists on dark shadows?

Think about it.

Changing seasons

https://lonelyplanetwp.imgix.net/2017/10/GettyRF_477322165-b25e63193cfa.jpg?fit=min&q=40&sharp=10&vib=20&w=1470Something happens in September. It’s when the temperature still feels like summer, yet the calendar tells you there’s been a change of season. It’s when you stubbornly refuse to part your summer outfits, yet a cold night breeze forces you to acknowledge the change that is on its way.

It’s not winter that is coming yet. It’s autumn that is already here. And you realise it as soon as the first clouds darken the sky and the first sounds of rain cause you to stir out of your afternoon nap.

It’s when you find out that you do need a sweater, if not a jacket, to walk out during the evenings, and when you have to check the weather in case you need to make an umbrella an essential part of your bag.

Something comes with this change of season. It is all the talk of a new start, with everyone blatantly flagging how excited they are for new goals, new beginnings etc etc. By the time December arrives, all of this will be forgotten.

Yet, there is a sweet melancholy that arrives with the autumn clouds; the change in the atmosphere and the crackling of fallen leaves on the ground. It is perhaps the acknowledgement that things are indeed changing, no matter how much you try to deny it. We change because it is how we move on. How we evolve. Whether we like it or not, we are forced to do something different with every new season. Boredom leads to illnesses more of the mind than the body. So we need to be creative, to do things, to keep our minds busy. There is a beauty in every (changing) month or season. We just have to be open enough to welcome it in.

The biggest lie we tell ourselves

http://www.trueactivist.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/photo_2016-11-28_02-10-26.jpgSociety, they say, is a reflection of its people. Of their mentality, their habits, their behaviour. Similarly, rulers, or rather the ruling elite, the leaders on top, ideally represent the people they ‘serve’. Regardless if they eventually convert to serving and satisfying their own needs at the expense of the populace.

Carl Thomas, an American journalist, had said: “in a free society, government reflects the soul of its people. If people want change at the top, they will have to live in different ways. Our major social problems are not the cause of our decadence. They are a reflection of it”.

People are seen as naïve; no matter how educated they want to believe they are. Because in the end we all prefer to believe comforting lies than inconvenient truths. And in the case of the populace, history has proven that they will support the person who gives them the biggest lie. Because it covers up more of their life’s dissatisfaction.

Between history and politics, the latter has also proven to be the strongest. Because it manages to repeat itself. And we seem to be unable to learn from history. We allow ourselves to keep falling in the same traps, even if we know how things turn out – how the post is more important than the knowledge or skills; how clientelism rages everywhere; how civil administration does not work for the people but for those in charge of it; how rulers everywhere seek to primarily further their own aims and then their county’s – if at all. Yet, we prove wanting in many ways and incapable of changing anything for the better. Because improving things takes work. And no one is willing to do it.

We’d rather engage in big talk and criticism rather than act.  And that is our greatest weakness.

The paradox of human nature

https://img00.deviantart.net/ed60/i/2009/035/0/d/greed_by_liol.jpgHumans have an innate and incurable weakness. That of being extremely selfish and greedy. Nothing is ever enough. And more is always what everyone seeks. Because what humans only really care about is appearing to be better, cleverer, richer than everyone else. They want to be talked about – because not being talked about is worse.

They listen, not to understand, but to react. Mostly to things they interpret in their own way. And things they later state they heard differently. Some don’t even listen at all. And most people simply hear what is to their benefit. Everything else passes by unnoticed.

Humans are the creatures in this world that have the power to change things but knowingly decide not to. They are insensitive by will and narcissistic by conviction. Instead of looking for ways to make our living environment better for those to come, we make it worse for those who manage to stay.

We use technology not to improve our survival, but to demonstrate how self-centred we are, feeling the urge to advertise every moment of our lives on social networks instead of caring for those around us and actually living those moments. We create posts instead of memories and feed on “likes” and heart-shaped thumbs-up approvals from digital “friends” we don’t even really know.

We pretend to live but hardly even survive.

And then we spend hours on self-help books and motivational speeches, seminars and tutorials searching for ways to acquire mental health and psychological stability.

We become irritated by everyone else’s attitude and behaviour, yet stubbornly refuse to change our own because we consider ourselves above all others and thus there is no need to alter anything in our own character.

We expect the world to change to fit to our own needs but do nothing to compromise or accommodate ourselves for the world around us.

We are the ones bringing our own demise and downfall. Yet we are experts in always finding someone else to blame. Because it is much easier to give fault to someone else than to be a decent human being and assume responsibility.

What is thrown your way

https://www.permacultureapprentice.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/cover.jpgEverything you experience is a lesson.

It was the first thing Joan saw when she walked through the halls of her new school. Her age was not even a double digit then. But she remembered everything clearly. The memories had imprinted in her mind just as everything she learnt there grew in her heart.

She was grateful for the life she had in that building. Not only of the things she learnt in theory and in practice, but also for the people she met there. Those that stigmatised her for their positive vibes but also for the heartbreak their meanness had caused. Everyone had a place and a reason.

And everything served to make her stronger, braver and more determined.

She matured and grew to a better person when it was time to leave.

She was different when she walked out of the halls. Not even recognising herself and who she had become, she was proud she had survived.

The scars only served to remind her of all that had come in her life and the fact that she had managed to overcome all the obstacles and challenges that tried to bring her down.

She was still here. And she was resolute in making her presence even more prominent in the future. No matter what lay ahead.

 

This too shall pass

flowing riverThere is a story that an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: “And this, too, shall pass away“. It manages to express a lot – caution in the hour of pride and console in times of pain.

Our times are more in need of this phrase than ever. Because everything can change in a second. Joy and sadness alternate like a spinning wheel and – with everything at our feet – it is easy to get carried away, to exhilarate or to despair.

We might have been convinced that good things don’t last long so we should relish every moment we have. But the truth is, the really good things only last as long as you put in the effort for them to, as long as you keep trying and keep holding on to them.

Whatever it is, this too shall pass. So will we. There is thus no use in being miserable; instead, we should look to make the best out of every situation.  After all, what’s the point of being here if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable and above all be happy?

 

When things are bad, remember:

It won’t always be this way.

Take one day at a time.

When things are good, remember:

It wont’ always be this way.

Enjoy every great moment.

Waiting time

https://www.qwaym.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/why-time-flies-696x390.jpgWe wait, we postpone, we move to another time. We keep finding excuses not to do something, not to meet someone, not to fulfil a commitment. And we keep telling ourselves that there will be a better moment to do so. “There will come a better time”. We try to persuade ourselves.

But that time never comes.

Because there is no right time.

And there is no better time than now.

If we keep waiting for the perfect moment, we will never do anything. Because that moment will never come. It is up to us to take the moments we have and make them perfect to achieve and accomplish all the best we can.

We are too coward to take a risk and try our best and instead we prefer to postpone “for some other time”. We end up never taking a chance and in the end even that – seemingly perfect – moment is gone. And there is nothing we can do about it.

We shouldn’t live a life regretting the things we didn’t do or lamenting the fact that we don’t have time.

There is time for everything. You just have to set your priorities right.

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