MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “change”

Mentality is a way of life

©MCD_Agrigento

There is a saying that we travel not to escape life, but so that life does not escape us. Going somewhere different not only breaks your routine and revives you, but it also allows you to open your eyes and mind to things you never even considered before.

Not everyone thinks or acts the same way we do, and we generally have this ingrained belief that what ‘our people’ do is the norm, the standard against which everyone else is compared or measured.

The truth is though, when we travel, we might find alternatives that may even be better to our way of life. We may see things and people who change our perspectives. We may even talk to locals and find out that they are more calm, relaxed and happy living in what seems like a backward village, than others who live in big cities.

We see people smiling without any particular reason, who always have something good to say and who wish you a pleasant day without knowing you at all. That is just who they are and what they are used to. Kindness is a way of life.

It is these same people who know how to keep calm in every situation, who find no reason in getting angry or irritated at something they cannot control. They follow traditions that they have grown with and see no point in altering them if they still work well.

Because in the end, it is not the technology that makes people advanced; it is their mentality. And that is the most difficult thing of all to change.

Be the Bee

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And there, at the end of a day that touched upon the verge of “this was too much” and “when did it already get dark”, you experience something that changes you. That affects your mindset so much that you begin to see things differently.

In every period of our lives, we tend to seek people who are going through similar issues and have a similar take on things. It is our natural inclination to seek allies, because in them we find the compassion, empathy and understanding we long for.

When we meet people who inspire us, we are mentally and psychologically elevated. We begin to realise our own true value. And that is when we acknowledge that people drown not by falling into the river, but by remaining in it.

So take a deep breath and change things. People either inspire or exhaust you. Get out of situations you don’t like or agree with. We are the only ones who can save ourselves.

Life is unpredictable like that. We don’t always get the answers we seek or think we deserve, and we need to just accept reality for what it is and move on. Because things do happen for a reason, even if at the time we don’t see it. But the truth is, we can survive more than we think possible, and then we’re amazed by how much stronger that makes us.

Things and people come into your life the moment you need them, to help you get on the right path. To help you realise the value of your own worth. The only person who needs convincing is yourself.

There is a saying that people are either flies or bees. The bee will be able to find a flower even in a rubbish dump. The fly will be attracted by manure even in the most beautiful of gardens.

Always be the bee.

Be who you choose to be

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He was small compared to others. Unusually so. And he was made fun of because of it. Even bullied.

But Elliot did not care. He chose not to listen because he knew he was destined for greatness.

Elliott wanted to be a reindeer. A famous one. One that pulled Santa’s sleigh.

The only problem was that he was a pony.

He was lucky enough to have supportive friends. Friends who stuck by when everyone else mocked him and left. Friends who encouraged him to follow his dream and who motivated him to try harder. Because they too believed that he could do anything he set his mind on.

Elliot never gave up. And his chance came, life rewarded him for his effort. He became the littlest reindeer of all. Santa’s favourite; the one who tried hardest and who was the most special. Elliot is the proof that even the underdog can achieve a lot if their heart is set on it and if they try passionately enough.

“Be magic; choose and believe that you can do anything you set your mind to believe. We are who we choose to be” – Will Smith

The Scrooges of this world

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His favourite character was Scrooge. Either McDuck or Ebenezer, it didn’t really matter. It was the trait he admired. That of being stingy, a cold-hearted miser and filthy rich because of it.

He wanted to have it all. But all was never enough. There was always more.

He lost friends as quickly as he acquired them, because his arrogant style that undermined everyone else around him immediately became evident.

Yet, he didn’t care. People like that seldom do. Arrogance, it is said, is a camouflage for insecurity. People adopt a conceited attitude and raise their voice to be heard, no matter if they’re wrong. They try to dominate every situation to show they’re in control. But what they try to hide is their fears that they cannot conquer.

People cheat and steal from each other, attempting to demonstrate they’re cleverer and more astute. Paraphrasing what the ghost said in Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”, they wear the chains they forge in life. Yet, in the end, all they achieve is to create a society in which the truly smart people want to escape from, because they are the ones that see through the corruption and lies. They are the ones that read beyond the deceits and the feinted arrogance. They are the ones who distinguish between arrogance and confidence and the ones who understand when it is right to stand up for what you believe and when it is just necessary to go with the flow.  As long as the flowing river is one that leads to an ocean – a greater good – and not one that drowns everything along the way.

“The world is your oyster. It is up to you to find the pearls” – Chris Gardner

The vicious circles we feed

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There is a place in the heart of the city where people go to disappear. It’s a place you often pass by on your daily route to work, shopping or whatever else you choose to spend you time, money and energy on. But you don’t realise they are there. You pretend not to see them. Not to know that these neighbourhoods are different.

We fear different. We oppose and react to whatever we don’t understand.

We don’t even try to change things. We simply acknowledge that they are not how they should.

And so, we continue our lives, and more people simply disappear out of theirs.

Because it is not easy to actually live. To have a life that fulfils you and completes you. People are used to existing. And documenting their existence to prove to others that they are doing things worthwhile. In reality, trying to convince themselves that they matter.

We close our eyes to those who need help. Because we don’t want to assume the responsibility of change.

And then we protest that nothing ever changes or improves. Like a vicious circle we ourselves feed.

Some days

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There are some days you wish you could forget. Completely erase them from memory if possible.

It’s those days that have made you realise you were wrong about things you thought of differently until that very point. Days that have shaken up your entire mentality and viewpoint on life.

But they are the same days that shattered you to pieces.

Because every change comes with a cost. And it is often painful.

Some days you want to remember for as long as you live.

Some others, you just want to press delete and rewind. To live them over in a better way now that you know.

Those days are the ones that make you stronger, wiser and help you keep going with the hope you won’t repeat the same mistakes.

Every day is a gift as long as we treat it as such.

The people around us

One of the best advice to pass on to others is to surround yourself with people who empower you to become better. Be picky about who you keep around you, because personalities, words and traits do rub off naturally. The people around you reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel. Their energies are contagious.

Surround yourself with smart people who will argue with you. Not those who will tell you exactly what you want to hear. Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you even at times when you don’t see it yourself.

We need people around us who will lift us up, no matter what.

We want people in our lives who will help us grow, who will develop with us, with whom we will share experiences and be comrades in life.

Not people who are still too stuck on their guardians they are too afraid to build a life for themselves, those who are not capable of evolving because it means stepping out of their comfort zone, those who don’t even consider taking any life-changing decision.

We need people around us who don’t ask “what if I fall?”, but rather “what if I fly?”

Provincial lights

©Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Two years had already passed since she decided to leave the city for a provincial town.

She still remembered how much time and anguish she had experienced; her mind a whirlwind of thoughts pecking her brain with all the things that could go right or wrong.

It was hard to change your entire life. To exit the safety of your comfort zone, of everything you are used to and feel comfortable with. But if you don’t, if you never take the leap, you’ll never know where life can take you.

She never regretted having found the courage to alter everything.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Letters unsent

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The world was still asleep. Daylight had not yet broken the night.

She woke in her sleep as if an alarm clock went off inside her. She got up, sat at her desk with a pen and paper. Traditionally. She preferred it to the digital typing of a keyboard. Her pen was rushing across the page, trying to keep up with the words that were pouring out of her mind. She needed to record them all now that inspiration called, otherwise this wave would fade out during her sleep. Expression came at strange hours.

Time was the most precious gift you could devote to anyone. Even to yourself.

She scribbled down all that her heart pounded to say but couldn’t. Those words left unsaid that you always wonder if they would make a difference. He, on the contrary, didn’t have a way with words. He would only reply if forced to. But she wanted to let him know. She wanted to assure herself she had done all that she could; all that was possible on her part. The ball was then in his court. And she was obliged to accept his decision.

She wrote it all. The stubbornness they both had in communicating, their obsession with not letting go of things from the past, their inability to manage their feelings, the wanting it all and getting nothing in the end.  She wrote of how she was holding things to surprise him with, she dreamt of sharing with him her accomplishments and was eager to boast about his development too. But something broke along the way. And it kept breaking.

She concluded her letter stating that it was what he used to say – that they had found the winning lottery ticket – but somehow they had now lost it or simply let it go.

The letter – just like so many others – was left unsent.

The heart is a delicate thing. It hurts even when you’re convinced it won’t.  And the worst of all is when you say you can’t do anything about it. Because that ‘can’t’ has a “don’t want to” underneath. And that perhaps is the most painful of all.

Renewal

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After a break – no matter how long or short – we experience a change of mindset. It’s as if with a refreshed mind, rested body and renewed spirit, we return stronger and more determined to do better.

New seasons do that.

Especially when they bring along a wave of change. It’s a calling to reclaim control of yourself.

And it is through this inner alteration that you become stronger, more optimistic, decisive and rejuvenated. “Renewal is what happens when you realize that some of this stuff you’ve been carrying around doesn’t matter” (Rob Bell). Because it finally strikes you that what matters most is primarily your own well-being. So change; renew your space, set a to-do list, dream of new goals and dare to implement them.

Remember, you can’t help others to shine if you’re not already glowing inside.

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