What are we left with in the end?
What are we left with when everything disappears? When we return to empty rooms from which people are missing? In the silence of our minds, what is the first thought that pops up?
How many truly dare to remain alone? To sit with our problems, with all the nasty scripts that our imagination plays in our heads, with our fears and concerns?
How many really have the courage to fight with our own selves and come out victorious? To convince us above all others that we are so much more than what we fear, than the very labels we place on ourselves? Perhaps it is valid that our worst enemy is our own self, and we thus often hardly desire to face them. We prefer to constantly occupy ourselves with something, with seasonal activities, with short-lived relations and activities that distract us even if only for a while.
But love and friendships come and go like the ebb and flow of tides. And we become used to it. To that lack of permanence, the absence of something with which to evolve, to change, to grow; to substantially experience every tiny or huge life moment with.
We end up convincing ourselves that we do not want much. Lest we feel pressured. Lest we become overwhelmed with too much information we cannot process. Lest we connect too deeply. Lest we feel.
We prefer to throw things out and replace them rather than fix them and enhance them.
We say we cannot manage any more. That we tried too much and grew weary. But that is not true. Because we simply want to avoid the inconvenience and challenge of getting out of that zone of complacency and comfort that we’ve created.
We live devoid of emotion and end up hardly living at all. Because we think that this is how we preserve ourselves, our personalities, and our ego.
But this is how we lose anything worth having. Anyone who could lift us up, help us develop as beings, and make us better.
We lose the game before we even play because we’re so afraid of what may happen if we do not win.
We’re too scared of getting attached that we end up alone despising our own loneliness.
If growth hurts, how are we to break our own bondage without exiting our comfort zone? Without loving, giving it all, hurting, breaking, fighting, fixing, and eventually holding on to everything that truly matters? Anything that makes us better. That which absorbs our thoughts in the morning and keeps us awake at night.
You can feel what really matters deep in your soul. It grips you.
That is how you know.
And that is what you are left with in the end.