MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “disappointment”

Jasmin’s Prince

Her name was Jasmin. She was named after her mother’s favourite flower, one symbolising love, beauty and good luck. She had blue eyes and long black silky hair.

When she was young she was thrilled to discover that one of her favourite princesses bore the same name. She believed she was destined for greatness and always strived to achieve it.

But this had the disadvantage that, on this account, nothing (and often no one) was good enough.

So when she met her prince, she stifled him because the reality did not fit the perspective she had imagined. It was the problem of having too many expectations. They caused too great a heartache and too much disappointment when they were not met.

Unlike her gentle and kind character, she began to get angry too often. In her head, it wasn’t this difficult to be with someone, to communicate, to get along. She was enraged that things were not turning out the way she hoped.

And then his behaviour made it all worse. He began to pull away, talking to her less and not spending time together. She despised that he was lying to her. Even for the simplest of things under the pretext of “not wanting to upset her”. It made everything worse. Because she knew what the truth was and how he was lying about it. It made her feel as if he didn’t think she could handle the truth or that he did not trust her. She had always wondered, if people are doing things that they have to lie about, then why do them in the first place?

She was a person of discipline and order, and uncertainty did not fare well with her. So she began to walk away too, giving up trying to reconcile their romance. But in her heart she still hoped he would see clearly and claim her back. He always knew how to do that at first: it only took a flower, a kiss, a kind gesture, and she would melt in his arms. Princes have that ability: to charm you.

A monster within

http://artpictures.club/shans-december-7-17.html

He was nicknamed “The Monster”. He had the look to support it. He was tall, dark with hair that covered his neck and a beard that hid his face. His eyes reflected his own resignation with the world.

He preferred not to socialise as much as possible. And for that reason he usually only briefly left his house during nights or moments when he knew everyone else was away. He wanted to avoid social contact. He would much rather endure loneliness than the criticism he was bound to hear from others.

People judge from what they see. We all fall into stereotypes and prejudices. People don’t understand what is beyond appearances.What forces people to become what they are or to act in the way they do.

No existence is all roses and sunshine. Dark clouds do come along. There are moments and circumstances, people and behaviours, attitudes and perspectives that force us to react, to erupt, to lose control. It takes a lot for a silent stream to become a raging current. But when that boost arrives, the flush is torrential and it carries with it everything that person has for so long suppressed. It takes a lot of strength to feign that everything is fine. To pretend things are OK when they’re not. To hide all the pain from everyone else. But what hurts most is when the people near you don’t understand. When they do not react to your call. When you explain the things that cause these scathing wounds, that have for so long been a problem, and yet they still don’t comprehend the severity of it all. Or they simply do nothing. If you care you act; you place what you value most above all else. Sometimes, it is our own expectations that cause us the most disappointment. Because not everyone possesses that same open-heartedness, nor the same perspective on things. It is such situations that bring out the worst in someone. That feeling of being under-appreciated, misunderstood and wronged. That others are given more importance than you. That no matter how hard you try, you can’t get through.

It is situations that create our character. That will define whether the monster or the angel within us will dominate. But they are also the ones that cause us to react the way we do.

Not all people are monsters. Some just carry a monster inside.

Deciphering obscure objects

https://www.google.gr/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjn8a_wuPfdAhXD3KQKHR9mAx8QjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Folhocurioso2015.blogspot.com%2F2015%2F10%2Fcomo-se-forma-neblina.html&psig=AOvVaw0xWhJTnB9Okhc0pQC7eV19&ust=1539108693186256Look at this. Look at it closely. What do you think it is?”

She showed him a picture of an object that was too unclear to decipher. It was oblong with sharp edges. It could be anything really. His mind began to race. The young boy had millions of images in his head as to what that object may be. They were bombarding him like fighter plane missiles.

Here’s the catch,” his teacher told him. “You only have two guesses. So make them count”.

The boy became even more agitated. Only two. The margin of error was too tight.

The object could be anything. How could he make sure he found the right answer?

In his head, he was putting together a jigsaw – placing his imaginary items onto the unknown object and assessing how far it matched.

It was a trial of imagination, of expectation, of prediction.

The task was to understand that very often in life, we imagine one thing, we expect another, we make it up in our heads to be that which we think it is, and in the end we end up disappointed when we find out it is something extremely different.

In the end we get hurt from our own expectations, when all we need to do is train ourselves to expect the lowest, even from the places and people we though the highest of.

Wrong expectations

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRInd3unnYE7s3GQnfW4-gHpuRbPU7h5B1jKr941Es75AipF0bMAnticipation. It’s that feeling of excitement and restlessness you get when you’re expecting something, usually positive. It’s that sense that no room or space can contain you. It’s a thrill of an imminent gush of happiness.

But when it doesn’t occur, it feels like the whole world is crashing down on you.

Perhaps it is therefore true that “peace begins where expectation ends” (Sri Chinmoy) and that is also why so many prompt us to “expect nothing and accept everything”. The root of all heartache and disappointment lies in the fact that we expect too much from people. And in that, we can only blame ourselves. Not everyone is capable of living up to our standards or even the standards we lift them up to and hope they reach.

What upsets us most in life is the picture in our head of how everything is supposed to be. It’s how we imagine everything in contrast to how they turn out to be in reality.

So, maybe it is better to not expect things to happen. It’s certainly better to be surprised than disappointed.

The things we do for others

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/5wZSt_LNq3U/maxresdefault.jpgThere are things we do during each day that go beyond our own self: holding the door open for someone, explaining something unclear to a stranger, or simply saying good morning. It’s those little things that cost nothing but may lift someone up.

Yet, sometimes, despite everything we do for others, we are disappointed with life. Often because we do not receive the appreciation we believe we deserve. Or – to the very least – a reciprocation of everything we do.

Sacrifices are usually made in silence. It is the sort of things parents do for their children, abandoning their own pleasures and hobbies so that their kids can enjoy their own. It’s when you have to make choices and decide that nothing is worth your health or spending time with your loved ones. It’s putting it all aside for once for the sake of being healthy.

The greatest disappointment comes from expectation. Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them.

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the word remains and is immortal” – Albert Pine

 

High bars

https://www.metalmulisha.com/2016/05/26/matt-buyten-trains-moto-x-step/

©Chris Tedesco

She stepped out of the train and slowly walked up to the escalator. For some reason she didn’t really want to rush like she always did. The thoughts had flooded her mind. Scenarios that may never be fulfilled. Wouldn’t it be great, she thought, if he was already there, waiting for her? But that wouldn’t happen. She already dismissed it from her mind. She walked out hurriedly heading towards the traffic lights, crossed the street, lost in her thoughts. And then she heard someone talking to her, a familiar voice that said “Honey, I’m calling you, but you won’t listen”. She turned and there he was, smiling as if nothing had been broken. He was there, waiting for her.

Now she was expecting the door to open and see him walking in. She turned her head every time a sound was heard, her heart beating faster. But it was always some stranger. Then the time came, the bells rang and she had to leave.

He didn’t come. And reality hit her hard.

Because things like that only happen in movies, not in real life.

The problem with setting the bar too high is that the higher up it is, the more it hurts when it falls.

It happens in an instance. Like the tremours of a violent earthquake during a vicious storm devastating everything in its passage.

As with everything in life, we all have expectations of how things will turn out to be. We dream and hope that it will all be realised in that idyllic way we have formulated in our head.

But they don’t always. Hardly ever. Rarely so.

Our expectations become illusions. Unfulfilled dreams of what could have been.

They say things happen for a reason. But you never truly get to find out what the reason is. You are only granted a glimpse of it when it no longer matters.

And your love becomes hate, but deep down it’s actually sorrow of time lost spent not being happy.

You end up disappointed when you realise that people don’t do for you what you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as yours.

We set the bars high because we want people to prove us wrong, that there can be those who care enough to try harder and persist. We raise our expectations in the hope of finding the people who will intensify their performance to meet them, who will do what best they can to make them a reality.  In the end, you shouldn’t be sorry for having high standards; people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark” – Michelangelo Buonarroti

The expectation cake

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/06/69/65/06696539ee1ca72964593a3b663854df.jpgHelen was baking a cake. She knew exactly how she would want it to be. She had it all planned in her head up to every last detail. It was simple really – you took a bunch of ingredients, mixed them all together, place it in the oven and let it bake. Then the fun begun. Because everyone knows that it is the icing on the cake that makes all the difference.

Once the cake cooled down, Helen began to implement what she had already so careful planned in her head. She added colors to the sugar icing and delicately began to decorate. The cake had been placed in layers, stacked one on top of the other, each shrinking on their way up. She wrapped a red satin ribbon around the bottom layer and decorated the top layer with blue lilies made of icing. It seemed exquisite. It was exactly what she had imagined. She stepped back to admire her work and was herself impressed at how well she had managed to bring to life the image she had mentally created. She was proud of herself.

She likened the cake with her expectations of life, for she believed that if you set your mind on something and tried hard enough, you could realise all the things whose value you heighten in your head.

But then it happened.

A football came crashing through her kitchen window, landing straight onto the layered cake. The icing splattered onto her apron and across the kitchen, whose floor was also filled with pieces of broken glass.

The neighbor’s son was heard yelling an embarrassed “sorry”, but that made absolutely no difference now.

Reality struck with a thunderous collision for Helen that day. And that is was when she realized that sometimes, we shouldn’t expect so much from the slightest of things. Because in the end, expectation is indeed the root of all heartache.

Lara and the balloons

balloon burstWhen Lara was a little girl, she used to anticipate her grandmother’s visits like a swallow looks forward to spring. Every time her grandmother came, she would bring her something. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant, Lara loved surprises. One day her grandmother came with a bag of balloons. Lara could not sit still from the excitement. She immediately drew out a red balloon and started blowing it up. It took so much effort and almost all the air in her lungs to do so, but she could still recall how happy and proud she felt when she saw that big balloon now flying from her fingertips across the room.

She spent the whole day chasing after the balloon; carefree and happy.

But she could not understand one thing: why had her grandmother brought her a whole bag of balloons when all she needed was one?

The next morning, she woke to find that the red balloon had deflated slightly. But that did not stop her from spending as much time as was allowed throwing the balloon into the air and running after it.

But then it happened.

The balloon flew into a cactus, fell onto a thorn and popped. All of a sudden, it was gone. All that effort and excitement to blow it up, to inflate it full of dreams of what could be, were all suddenly ceased. All it took was the sharp end of the smallest of things.

Lara stood in shock, gazing at the remnants of the red balloon lying in demolition on the cactus.

She heard footsteps rushing from behind her. Her mother came over, grabbed her shoulder and hugged her. She then offered her the little bag of balloons her grandmother had brought the other day.

“Now you see why balloons come in groups? They are so easily burst. But you must never give up. There are always more. And as long as you have air in your lungs, you can always fill another and be excited again”.

Lara smiled at her mother, grabbed a yellow balloon from the bag and began blowing air in it again, hopeful that this time it would last a bit longer.

The biggest appointment

rebelDear Diary,

John got upset with me again. He yelled and stormed out of the room. My John. The person who I thought would understand how I felt and why this was so important to me. The person who saw me spend nights and days without sleep, racing to beat sunrise in my attempt to please everyone and have everything done as best I could. The person who saw me forgo meals in order to finish some report or analysis. The one who picked me up when I collapsed for all of the above. I wish he (and so many others) would understand why it thus matters to me to be acknowledged, to be appreciated, to at least be recognized as important and not be taken as granted.

I am used to striving for excellence in everything I do, yet it seems that does not matter. I’m even being rejected for jobs because I’m overqualified. I know being a perfectionist is an ambivalent quality – but in the best of cases it means that you will always deliver the highest quality possible. Why is that not appreciated? All it takes is a simply heartfelt “thank you” every now and again.

And today, today I’m feeling ill inside. I feel left out of so many things. Even my life itself. It’s like high school all over. Because no matter what anyone says that never really stops. There are still those cliques, the mean girls, the jocks, and you trying to figure out where exactly you belong in all of this insanity.Here's to the crazy ones - Steve Jobs

I’ve been described as many things – good I hope. But lately I keep finding myself being considered the rebel, the reactionary, the non-conformist. The one who keeps yelling and gets irritate with a tick in the wrong place. It seems like nothing I say even gets understood, never mind acknowledged. And I am always the bad cop in every equation.

One thing I’ve realized out of all this, is that no matter how much you prepare yourself you are never truly ready for this. The biggest appointment in life is the day you realize that nothing is what you expected. Not even close to what you thought it would be. Miles away from what you’ve ever dreamt. It is then that disappointment hits you like a full-force tidal wave pounding on your wooden shack. And all you can do is scramble afloat for air and muster the courage to survive.

It is hard being the rebel in a status quo world. Many said it would be worth it. But no-one said life would be easy.

Love,

Anna

Also part of Daily Prompt: The Heat is On

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