MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “encouragement”

Defusing agitation

http://webneel.com/daily/sites/default/files/images/daily/04-2013/creative-mind-explosion.jpg

There are many ways to clear your head. To diminish the stress that is engulfing you and be able to breathe again a little deeper. They range from exercise, meditation, reading, writing, cooking, to spending time with friends, family and pets, even changing your house décor. But there is one thing that is underestimated in making you feel better: talking.

Keeping your thoughts and feelings locked up inside is like maintaining a time bomb inside a box and waiting for the timer to go off. The explosion will be massive. And it will hurt not just you but those around you too. That is why people suffering with depression and stress are also easily agitated and nervous. Their small and often outbursts are usually caused by the fact that they bury everything deep inside hoping they will simply dissolve. But this sooner or later diffuses into your physical system as well causing other problems.

Talking is underestimated. Because although it may not solve your problems, it is a way of defusing them. Of sharing your thoughts with someone who cares for you and understands. Someone who is there right when you need them. Someone who knows that when your rage overwhelms you the solution is not to leave you alone, but instead embrace you and hold you until calmness prevails. Someone who is willing to stand by you, to show you that you don’t have to carry your burdens alone. Someone with whom you don’t need to say much and who always knows just the right thing to say to soothe your pain and make you feel just a little bit better.

We should surround ourselves with people like that. Who when you wake up in a bad mood, won’t criticise you for it, but will tell you that every day gets better. Who prompts you to be grateful for what you have – your health and people who love you. Who gives you the encouragement you need to never let anyone get you down or make you feel like you’re not worth it. Because in the end, the only person whose opinion truly matters is your own.  

Advertisements

The chaos of an introvert

http://rolereboot.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Lisa-alone.jpg

Introverts, they say, are weird people. Because you can’t tell what is going on in their head. At times, they themselves don’t even know. Because often they want nothing more than to cuddle alone on the couch under a blanket with a hot drink, a book or a movie. It is their way of getting away from everything.

They won’t push you away. Not unless you turn them away first. Introverts have the characteristic of being willing to do almost everything for a person they care about. Even if that is not acknowledged or reciprocated.

But there comes a time when something breaks, like a glass being shattered too many times. In an introvert this is expressed with a physical illness. The body itself is beginning to complain, raising the alarm that there is something wrong. Of course, the mind already knows it, but something needs to happen to shake you up.

Our thoughts affect us more than we believe. And our mental and psychological state often define our physical well-being.

It is difficult to put your mind at peace when you feel a million things buzzing through your head. We live in a world where calmness is a privilege, one that is sought after through techniques like yoga, mindfulness, even the so many life coaches that have suddenly sprung up. When did things become so difficult that we actually need people to tell us how to live our life? How to breathe and relax and not take everything so deeply? Why do we allow ourselves to be drained by our own thoughts? To drown in our own insecurities and pessimism?

Introverts won’t really tell you how much pain they’re in – either physical or emotional. They hide their chaos inside. But – paradoxically – they will hope you understand. That you will realise what they really need is someone to sit by them on that couch, wrap them up in a soothing hug and convince them that everything will be OK.

Be afraid of the quiet ones, they are the ones who actually think

Overcoming hurdles

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-u5L5ocbGOLE/V_5JCmY2ONI/AAAAAAAAFIs/5DTyk8fbYREnVK_1sPMWrBn_rORamy3EgCLcB/s1600/overcoming%2Bhurdles.jpg

They asked him at his first press conference following his Olympic Gold why he became a hurdle runner. He simply replied with a story: “when I was young, my father wanted to make me strong, to imbue in my head that life would be difficult at times, that hurdles and obstacles would be thrown my way. People would tell me that I couldn’t surpass them. That I was not good enough. But I should not believe them. I should do my best and jump over all of them. When I first saw track events, I felt an instant connection with the hurdles. Perhaps because I took my father’s words literally at the time,” he laughed. So did the reporters.

But a small girl did not. She raised her hand to ask another question. “Does jumping these hurdles make those in real life disappear?

The room fell silent. The athlete was dumbfounded. It was perhaps the most difficult question he ever had to answer.

To be honest, no,” he said. “The hurdles in real life never truly disappear. But jumping these hurdles on the track has given me the determination, the strength, the discipline, and the courage needed to be able to surpass life’s obstacles. I think I have been quite successful in life so far. But the key is never to give up. And never believe that you are not good enough or are not worth everything you dream of”.

The girl smiled and her cheeks turned rosy. The athlete had just made his impact on her. And that was enough.

“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere” – Frank A. Clark

Like no other doll

https://www.therussianstore.com/media/wysiwyg/Traditional_Russian_Matryoshka.jpg

Her eyes glared wide open at the sight of this strange-looking doll. It was not plastic, like all the rest she was used to. It was wooden. And fat. Plus it looked strange. It wasn’t the tall, blonde female figure that flooded the market. It had the look of a traditional Russian woman. And it also contained a surprise. Or rather multiple ones. Because one she opened top and bottom, another figure of the same sort but smaller was revealed inside. and this one too opened up to another.

She was super-excited at the revelation of the second doll inside, and the thrill accentuated with every new doll that was revealed.

It was like nothing she had ever seen.

That Matryoshka doll became her good luck charm and a reminder that you never know what people or circumstances hide. Like a nested doll, life is full of surprises. We should simply be open to embrace them.

Trying to unwind

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Wm256fhzk-M/TrXXpjdfzPI/AAAAAAAAI1A/IXV0v-n6owk/s1600/brain_1-500web.jpg

How many times have you found yourself in a situation in which you are forced to hide your true feelings? It has happened to us all. Either because you don’t agree with the rest of the opinions expressed and don’t want to elaborate; either because the conversation bores you; or you dislike the people around you; or worse yet because you’re in pain and want to hide it.

It is not easy when you’re suffering to pretend everything is OK. But most of us do so on a daily basis.

From the millions of things roaming in our minds, we only express a couple of them, not even half of what we truly think.

As a result, we suppress everything else leading our body to suffer from the toxicity of unexpressed thoughts, feelings, opinions. This in turn results in psychosomatic symptoms – the tendency to experience psychological distress in the form of physical symptoms. These may include chest pain, fatigue, dizziness, headache, oedema, back pain, shortness of breath, insomnia, abdominal pain, numbness, impotence, weight loss, cough, and constipation. This demonstrates that our minds and body are interlinked, entwined to the extent that the one affects the other. Emotional disturbances are often translated into physical symptoms, mostly evident in the effects we experience when we’re stressed, upset, scared, excited.

We often seek treatments in fast remedies – usually painkillers. We are advised patience and above all relaxation and calm. But the latter seem almost impossible when you’re in pain. In reality, we need the courage to seek the source of the distress, so we can change what provokes it. Only then will we truly be able to unwind.

Prejudiced thieves

http://ibe-infocus.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Education-and-prejudice.jpg

Even for days before, Emma was suffering a panic attack. At the thought alone of what was to come, her breathing became faster, her stomach felt tied in a knot and she had an unbearable pain pounding on her chest. Her head felt almost too much to carry on her shoulders, and she was very often dizzy.

Stress was a bad companion.

More so when it was accompanied by prejudices.

We all carry them with us. Our own perspectives and beliefs on how things will be. They are shaped by past experiences, our mentality, our notions of reality, of what we’ve already seen and felt. We have an apt for predicting the future, for irrationally wanting it to pan out the way it’s forecast in our heads, so that we can pat ourselves on the back later on and confirm our worst fears, telling ourselves we were right. It is one of the paradoxes of human nature. Of wishing things don’t turn out to be the prejudice we have in mind, but of deeply hoping they do so we can verify ourselves.

The day before the event, Emma broke down. She couldn’t concentrate enough to do anything. The thoughts in her mind were too much to bear. She could almost hear a cacophony of voices trying to persuade her that whatever can go wrong will.

Jonathan found her on the couch, curled up as if willing the world to go away.

He touched her shoulder and she sprung upright, the tension having made her uptight.

You wouldn’t invite a thief into your house, so why do you allow thoughts in your head that steal your joy?” he asked.

If your prejudiced things will go wrong, and you adopt a negative attitude because of it, then things are bound to turn into what you fear. If it is true that we attract what we believe and feel, it is all the more important to maintain an open-mind and a positive attitude. Life may surprise us in the end.

Bombarding thoughts

https://i-lab.harvard.edu/innolabs/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2016/01/Human-design-thinking-2x-1024x575.jpg

There comes a moment in the day when you finally sit down for a few minutes. It’s that incident when you can feel all your thoughts rushing right back into your head. Everything you’ve been trying to avoid contact with by keeping yourself busy with other things. Until that very moment.

You take a deep breath. Close your eyes and try to block everything out. But you can’t. Because at some point or other, you will have to face them. Those thoughts you so dexterously try to avoid.

They bombard your head, asking questions about how you’ll fare through with your finances; about the uncertainties that surround your life; your job; your relationship; your career; your future. You feel a cloud settling over your head and a migraine imminent. Your pulse begins to race and a panic attack ensues.

All you wish for at that moment is a furry pal to come jump on your lap and purr soothingly.

Or at least someone to come over and wrap you up in a tight hug that will expel all the torturous thoughts from your head.

You need quiet. Calm. To think clearly, you need an orderly head, tidy surroundings and a positive attitude.

Because everything will be alright eventually. Despite the patience you don’t think you have right now. It won’t be the end unless things are OK. Just remember that.

The making of a genius

He was born out of wedlock so had no right to education. He was considered an outcast and society looked down on him. Yet he managed to ignore them all – all those eyes who stared with loathing when he walked by, as if he had stolen something from them, as if they had become lesser people because of his existence.

He was curious of the world. Of how everything was structured to make things work so seamlessly. He was astonished by the way birds used their wings to fly or how water was present almost everywhere. He had a mind that was constantly alert. His thoughts would keep him awake at night and without food, for he was too busy thinking about how he could make improvements in an already magnificently built world. He wanted humans to go further. But they had to want that too.

He was a scientist, an inventor, a sculptor, an artist, a musician, a thinker. He was a genius. One who comprehended the need to go out and do things to achieve something. One the world acknowledged too late in time.

He was the one who proved the world was a better place because of him. But people couldn’t see it.

His name was Leonardo.

“There are three classes of people: those who see, those who see when they are shown, those who do not see”

“Learning is the only thing the mind never exhausts, never fears, and never regrets”

– Leonardo Da Vinci

Social norms

We live in a society that even inexplicitly wants us to follow rules. Unwritten regulations that are the norm. If you go against them, it is not only frowned upon, but you are seen as a reactionary, even an outcast. Simply because you don’t conform.

But it is not those who follow the path of the masses who ever accomplished anything. It is those who don’t fear to find a way of their own. Who have the courage to be different.

But until you find the strength to do something out of the ordinary, most of the time you are forced to live in hypocrisy. To socialise and be polite to people you are not even fond of, to behave “appropriately” according to context, to press “like” on social networks even if you don’t, to make positive comments even when you don’t believe them, to act constantly out of the character you know you are, simply because this is what is “socially acceptable”.

 We live our lives in fear of “what others will think or say” of us. And as such we end up suppressing our potential, hiding our true feelings and at times even dumbing ourselves down because the level of those surrounding us is so much lower.

What if we didn’t do all of this? What if we didn’t oppress ourselves the way we do? What if we didn’t care what others would say? What if we simply did what would make us happy and make us feel satisfied and proud of who we are? The world would definitely seem a better place, if only because we would feel more comfortable in it.

May you always…

https://st2.depositphotos.com/1091429/10313/i/950/depositphotos_103132170-stock-photo-old-letter-envelope-with-wax.jpg

There are certain things you (can) do to get your mind off certain circumstances. Especially when those thoughts cause a change in mood, dishearten you and bring you down. One of the most recommended one is to clean the house. It is the best way to keep yourself occupied. Plus you get the added bonus of having a clean lodging afterwards.

When Marie put on her rubber gloves and took to general cleaning, she never expected the surprise she found wedged between the living room wall and the bookcase.

It was a note folded in four. It appeared worn in the sands of time.

It was handwritten in a blue pen with calligraphic lettering that revealed sentiment in the script.

May you live each day as if it is a wonder. May you revel at each new experience. May you never cease to learn, to read, to live. May you always be inspired by everything around you so that you too may be the inspiration for those around you. May you acknowledge your worth even when others don’t.  May you never stop caring for others, no matter who they are, small or big, two-legged or four-legged, bigger or smaller. May you dream, aspire, struggle, accomplish. May you comprehend that we achieve something even in our failures. May you be brave enough to survive the hardships, take the tough choices and be courageous enough to change things when it is time. May you always smile. May you never stop believing in magic.

It was signed ten years ago. Love, mum.

Post Navigation