MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “expectations”

Jasmin’s Prince

Her name was Jasmin. She was named after her mother’s favourite flower, one symbolising love, beauty and good luck. She had blue eyes and long black silky hair.

When she was young she was thrilled to discover that one of her favourite princesses bore the same name. She believed she was destined for greatness and always strived to achieve it.

But this had the disadvantage that, on this account, nothing (and often no one) was good enough.

So when she met her prince, she stifled him because the reality did not fit the perspective she had imagined. It was the problem of having too many expectations. They caused too great a heartache and too much disappointment when they were not met.

Unlike her gentle and kind character, she began to get angry too often. In her head, it wasn’t this difficult to be with someone, to communicate, to get along. She was enraged that things were not turning out the way she hoped.

And then his behaviour made it all worse. He began to pull away, talking to her less and not spending time together. She despised that he was lying to her. Even for the simplest of things under the pretext of “not wanting to upset her”. It made everything worse. Because she knew what the truth was and how he was lying about it. It made her feel as if he didn’t think she could handle the truth or that he did not trust her. She had always wondered, if people are doing things that they have to lie about, then why do them in the first place?

She was a person of discipline and order, and uncertainty did not fare well with her. So she began to walk away too, giving up trying to reconcile their romance. But in her heart she still hoped he would see clearly and claim her back. He always knew how to do that at first: it only took a flower, a kiss, a kind gesture, and she would melt in his arms. Princes have that ability: to charm you.

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Hidden thoughts

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We all have hidden interpretations of things others don’t see. And it is usually the ones that cause a conflict. Because people find it hard to see with others’ eyes. We can’t put ourselves in others’ shoes, nor interpret things their way.

There are symbolic meanings to everyday behaviours. Meanings that are affected by our own perceptions of the world, by our prejudices, by our mentality, by the way we were raised, by the things we read, by our own experiences and thoughts.

It is these very perceptions that give rise to our hidden thoughts. They may be misinterpretations of certain incidents. But they become so rooted in our minds that to us they are established as the reality we see.

We refuse to see a different perspective, an alternative view, because it seems illogical, irrational, in total conflict to our own. And in essence, we are too stubborn, head-strong and selfish to do something that requires empathy on our part. It requires setting aside our own beliefs to comprehend what makes others react or act in certain ways.

Such absolute perceptions and hidden thoughts make our relationships dysfunctional. They cause us to become defensive even hostile. But worse of all, they lead to disappointment when we realise that our expectations are not met.

The mind is like a parachute: it only works when it is open.

A monster within

http://artpictures.club/shans-december-7-17.html

He was nicknamed “The Monster”. He had the look to support it. He was tall, dark with hair that covered his neck and a beard that hid his face. His eyes reflected his own resignation with the world.

He preferred not to socialise as much as possible. And for that reason he usually only briefly left his house during nights or moments when he knew everyone else was away. He wanted to avoid social contact. He would much rather endure loneliness than the criticism he was bound to hear from others.

People judge from what they see. We all fall into stereotypes and prejudices. People don’t understand what is beyond appearances.What forces people to become what they are or to act in the way they do.

No existence is all roses and sunshine. Dark clouds do come along. There are moments and circumstances, people and behaviours, attitudes and perspectives that force us to react, to erupt, to lose control. It takes a lot for a silent stream to become a raging current. But when that boost arrives, the flush is torrential and it carries with it everything that person has for so long suppressed. It takes a lot of strength to feign that everything is fine. To pretend things are OK when they’re not. To hide all the pain from everyone else. But what hurts most is when the people near you don’t understand. When they do not react to your call. When you explain the things that cause these scathing wounds, that have for so long been a problem, and yet they still don’t comprehend the severity of it all. Or they simply do nothing. If you care you act; you place what you value most above all else. Sometimes, it is our own expectations that cause us the most disappointment. Because not everyone possesses that same open-heartedness, nor the same perspective on things. It is such situations that bring out the worst in someone. That feeling of being under-appreciated, misunderstood and wronged. That others are given more importance than you. That no matter how hard you try, you can’t get through.

It is situations that create our character. That will define whether the monster or the angel within us will dominate. But they are also the ones that cause us to react the way we do.

Not all people are monsters. Some just carry a monster inside.

Deciphering obscure objects

https://www.google.gr/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjn8a_wuPfdAhXD3KQKHR9mAx8QjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Folhocurioso2015.blogspot.com%2F2015%2F10%2Fcomo-se-forma-neblina.html&psig=AOvVaw0xWhJTnB9Okhc0pQC7eV19&ust=1539108693186256Look at this. Look at it closely. What do you think it is?”

She showed him a picture of an object that was too unclear to decipher. It was oblong with sharp edges. It could be anything really. His mind began to race. The young boy had millions of images in his head as to what that object may be. They were bombarding him like fighter plane missiles.

Here’s the catch,” his teacher told him. “You only have two guesses. So make them count”.

The boy became even more agitated. Only two. The margin of error was too tight.

The object could be anything. How could he make sure he found the right answer?

In his head, he was putting together a jigsaw – placing his imaginary items onto the unknown object and assessing how far it matched.

It was a trial of imagination, of expectation, of prediction.

The task was to understand that very often in life, we imagine one thing, we expect another, we make it up in our heads to be that which we think it is, and in the end we end up disappointed when we find out it is something extremely different.

In the end we get hurt from our own expectations, when all we need to do is train ourselves to expect the lowest, even from the places and people we though the highest of.

Wrong expectations

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRInd3unnYE7s3GQnfW4-gHpuRbPU7h5B1jKr941Es75AipF0bMAnticipation. It’s that feeling of excitement and restlessness you get when you’re expecting something, usually positive. It’s that sense that no room or space can contain you. It’s a thrill of an imminent gush of happiness.

But when it doesn’t occur, it feels like the whole world is crashing down on you.

Perhaps it is therefore true that “peace begins where expectation ends” (Sri Chinmoy) and that is also why so many prompt us to “expect nothing and accept everything”. The root of all heartache and disappointment lies in the fact that we expect too much from people. And in that, we can only blame ourselves. Not everyone is capable of living up to our standards or even the standards we lift them up to and hope they reach.

What upsets us most in life is the picture in our head of how everything is supposed to be. It’s how we imagine everything in contrast to how they turn out to be in reality.

So, maybe it is better to not expect things to happen. It’s certainly better to be surprised than disappointed.

The things we do for others

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/5wZSt_LNq3U/maxresdefault.jpgThere are things we do during each day that go beyond our own self: holding the door open for someone, explaining something unclear to a stranger, or simply saying good morning. It’s those little things that cost nothing but may lift someone up.

Yet, sometimes, despite everything we do for others, we are disappointed with life. Often because we do not receive the appreciation we believe we deserve. Or – to the very least – a reciprocation of everything we do.

Sacrifices are usually made in silence. It is the sort of things parents do for their children, abandoning their own pleasures and hobbies so that their kids can enjoy their own. It’s when you have to make choices and decide that nothing is worth your health or spending time with your loved ones. It’s putting it all aside for once for the sake of being healthy.

The greatest disappointment comes from expectation. Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them.

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the word remains and is immortal” – Albert Pine

 

High bars

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©Chris Tedesco

She stepped out of the train and slowly walked up to the escalator. For some reason she didn’t really want to rush like she always did. The thoughts had flooded her mind. Scenarios that may never be fulfilled. Wouldn’t it be great, she thought, if he was already there, waiting for her? But that wouldn’t happen. She already dismissed it from her mind. She walked out hurriedly heading towards the traffic lights, crossed the street, lost in her thoughts. And then she heard someone talking to her, a familiar voice that said “Honey, I’m calling you, but you won’t listen”. She turned and there he was, smiling as if nothing had been broken. He was there, waiting for her.

Now she was expecting the door to open and see him walking in. She turned her head every time a sound was heard, her heart beating faster. But it was always some stranger. Then the time came, the bells rang and she had to leave.

He didn’t come. And reality hit her hard.

Because things like that only happen in movies, not in real life.

The problem with setting the bar too high is that the higher up it is, the more it hurts when it falls.

It happens in an instance. Like the tremours of a violent earthquake during a vicious storm devastating everything in its passage.

As with everything in life, we all have expectations of how things will turn out to be. We dream and hope that it will all be realised in that idyllic way we have formulated in our head.

But they don’t always. Hardly ever. Rarely so.

Our expectations become illusions. Unfulfilled dreams of what could have been.

They say things happen for a reason. But you never truly get to find out what the reason is. You are only granted a glimpse of it when it no longer matters.

And your love becomes hate, but deep down it’s actually sorrow of time lost spent not being happy.

You end up disappointed when you realise that people don’t do for you what you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as yours.

We set the bars high because we want people to prove us wrong, that there can be those who care enough to try harder and persist. We raise our expectations in the hope of finding the people who will intensify their performance to meet them, who will do what best they can to make them a reality.  In the end, you shouldn’t be sorry for having high standards; people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark” – Michelangelo Buonarroti

The order in chaos

http://hdfreewallpaper.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Flowers-in-Rainy-Season-9.jpgThere are things you plan and just simply don’t work out. And then there are the things you don’t schedule and turn out to be wonderful. Because sometimes you need that chaos of disorder in your life. You need to allow yourself to go with the flow. To take a deep breath and be optimistic that things will evolve exactly the way they’re supposed to.

Often it is the things we don’t see coming that offer us the most joy. The ones that actually last. And the ones that show us why things did not work out before.

 

“Chaos is the law of nature; Order is the dream of man”

 

Autumn scenes

autumn-luxembourgIt’s when the weather changes that you see that different side of people you always suspected was there but never truly saw. It’s when the leaves change from green to yellow-orange-brown; when they fall and they crunch as you walk on them that you feel something peculiar take over the air. It’s that sense that another season arrives and with it other expectations, longings, desires, another form of waiting; waiting for something unknown but exciting simultaneously.

Christine gazed out the window at the autumn carpet that now decorated the palace gardens. The fallen leaves imbued a note of melancholy to the marble arches and fountains that for centuries stood in place. She was waiting for something. Maybe even someone. Perhaps a prince charming on a white stallion. But right now, she would be satisfied with even the slightest of actions out of the ordinary. Any simple gesture showing her that someone cared. Someone in particular.

As the leaves rustled in the wind, she considered it pointless, and turned away from the large window.

That is when it happened though.

The faint crackle of leaves being trodden upon. And then the ticking of pebbles being thrown on the glass.

Christine ran back to the window and looked out, her heart beating fast with excitement.

Right underneath stood, dressed in elegant attire fit for royalty, Diego, the errant boy who for so long had been in love with her. He was too scared of rejection to say anything. And thus, they both continued their daily lives not knowing. Unaware of their feelings for each other. Waiting for something to change, without even trying.

With the coming of autumn though, some hearts become bolder to reveal the love they hide inside.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Waiting

Appleopolis

sliced-appleIt’s remarkable how the most memorable moments are created when you least expect them. For example, that specific day when Josh woke up with a headache that accompanied him throughout most of the day. He was suffering and felt that the day would be wasted unless he could get rid of this pain that was drumming his head. It was that precise day when his girlfriend had booked tickets for them to visit the new entertainment resort in town.

It was called Appleopolis because it had something very peculiar and particular about it. The main food on offer was apple slices. But not just any apple slices, they were cold, freshly cut, peeled apples with a stain of honey and traces of almonds. What was even more unique about them was that they brought out your other personality. Those traits of your character that you suppressed and kept subdued inside of you.

A few minutes after Josh had savoured these apple slices, he almost forgot about the headache he had and ended up enjoying the day to the utmost. He did not remember when was the last time he had laughed so wholeheartedly; when he truly allowed himself to indulge in the moment; to recharge with experiences; and to simply live the day for what it was – an opportunity to have a good time with a loved one.

By the end of the day, the headache was gone. And Josh was feeling rejuvenated.

Fruit – just like any moment – can be adventurous too, as long as you let yourself loose to experience whatever happens, without plans, without programming, without too many expectations.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Subdued

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