MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “expectations”

Clean Slate

© Na’ama Yehuda

Love stories of the past are like wilted flowers. Their time – and season – has ended. They were wonderful while they lasted, but they had a due date. And it has expired.

We need to let them go. Throw them out so that we have space to bring in new ones. Fresh, colourful, scented, alive. Ones that remind us that there is a bright future ahead and it’s up to us to make it prosperous.

We can remember, but it should not affect us. Perhaps that is the hardest to master.

Some flowers last forever; those we should nourish.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Magnificent ruins

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

It’s not easy to be left wondering why. Racking your mind to find the reason something fell apart. Like a magnificent civilisation that crumbled into pieces and all that is left behind is the ruins we visit, as a sign of our glorious past.

We don’t seem to learn from history. And we keep repeating the same mistakes.

Because we somehow believe that this time things will be different. That we deserve better and we hope we’ve found it.

We forgive too easily because we long for something better.

We expect too much, because we are willing to offer more.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Protect your peace

There comes a time when you need to accept that your peace of mind is more important than anything else.

If we constantly place ourselves in a state where we feel we need to keep everyone else happy, sometimes even exceeding our own limits and sacrificing our own wants to please others, we will soon find that we’re losing ourselves. Let alone wrongly exploiting our time and energy.

We need a motive for everything we do. Subconsciously, that is how it all works. Even if it is simply feeling acknowledged, appreciated, respected, valued or love, we need to sense that there is a purpose in the efforts we make.

When things fall apart from the slightest misunderstandings, from things wrongly perceived, or merely from having too many expectations, the disappointment is usually too much to bear.

And that’s when it all comes crashing down.

Because for as long as you’re hyperactive, keeping everything in motion, the ball rolls smoothly. Once the slightest hiccup occurs and something stops – even if for a millisecond – you realise how much you’re coping with, trying to juggle so much more than you can withstand.

We need to learn to be done, not mad, not bothered, just done.

We need to protect our peace at all costs. It’s what matters most. For if we don’t have a healthy mental state, nothing else really matters.

Only half-way

©Ted Strutz

This boat trip will only take you half-way. You’ll have to carry on the rest of the journey yourself afterwards”. If only, simply to comprehend you’re capable of more than you credit yourself for.

Do you ever make plans in your head, fantasize stories and happy endings, simply to feel that fulfilling satisfying sensation of completeness; of genuine happiness and tranquillity?

It’s a dangerous thing to do.

Usually because nothing ever works out like the feel-good plans we make unilaterally. Destiny has too many parameters to be forged by us alone.

Regardless of the outcome of life, we continue forward.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Switch it off

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How do you switch it off? Your mind. How do you hinder the perplexities? How do you stop it from making scenarios, rushing to conclusions, dreaming ahead? How do you escape your own thoughts?

How is it that your entire mood can change by a single potential drawn up in your head? By that question or theory that wakes you up at night and haunts your sleep? How is it that what we fear most or anguish about is usually simply something concocted by our brain and not reality?

We fabricate our dreams, yet we cannot stop ourselves from cursing our own good fortune. And for that, we bring ourselves harm because we expect things to go wrong. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, we overthink everything and then anticipate it all to take the wrong turn.

But what if we silenced that part of our brain that cautions us so much it does not allow us to live; to enjoy even the simplest things of life?

What if we took the risk of tumbling upside down inside a sheet hanging off the ceiling, like we do in aerial yoga? What if we enabled ourselves to do something different – something out of the box and beyond our comfort zone? What if we enjoyed it so much that we could finally begin to acknowledge that life eventually gains the vivacity you send out to it?

It all begins inside that powerful organ – the brain. Don’t let it bring self-destruction for no apparent cause.

What if we were really ‘fine’?

We search for advice in self-help books, teachings, seminars, life coaches and gurus. As if a resonating, well-put phrase will magically heal us from all our troubles and problems. We search for a solution without even attempting to look for it within ourselves, because we want someone else to handle this burden for us.

We do the same in our relationships.

We expect too much from others, and blame them for not living up to our expectations.

But we also tire easily as we mature. We’ve been through the same vicious circle too many times to still be so tolerant of it. We decide faster and more critically of what we believe we can live with and give a chance to, and who/what not.

Yet in this insatiable quest for social completeness, we often find that what current relationships are lacking is depth. Actually depth. To be able to look at someone and see whatever it is they are trying to conceal. People are hardly ever what they (initially) seem or what they want to portray. And we may spend a lifetime trying to discover their true character and actually failing to. If a person won’t let you in, won’t let you past the limits they’ve set to the outer world, won’t allow you in-depth access, you’ll never really know who they are. And it’s a shame. Because you will never know how connected you can become to a person otherwise.

It’s not just about having fun and filling in the gaps of your social calendar. Relationships are much more. It’s about dancing till dawn drunk, but also about grabbing a coffee and hydrating the next morning; about chatting incessantly for days, yet sitting quietly enjoying a meal together; it’s about sharing your innermost fears without feeling criticised, and feeling safe that you’ll hear a truth that comes from a good-hearted place and is solely for your own benefit. The right relationships help empower you; they make you stronger, more confident, and happier.

And in the end, that’s what we’re all looking for: a reason to be ‘fine’ and genuinely mean it.

That different glow

©MCD_Kastanies

If you start off with no expectations, you’re going to have a wonderful time.

Remember that.

You’ll find it is true for any sort of travel. The less you anticipate, the more bewildered you become with everything around you. And the more you enjoy your time there. Because you realise you don’t need a lot to have fun.

A walk in the countryside, a coffee by the river, a meal at a cosy restaurant, a couple of drinks with friends. No matter where you are.

You’ll see; you glow differently when you’re actually happy.

Also part of Weekend Writing Prompt #222

What you don’t know

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Sometimes what you don’t know will actually save you.

Because sometimes it is better to be shielded from the reality you know but don’t want to see.

 It’s easier to live in refusal of what is actually happening than face the truth that may shatter your insides.

There is a reason why it is said that “ignorance is bliss”. Because what you don’t know, won’t hurt you.

There is a great difference in sensing reality than actually experiencing it first-hand. Because for as long as you’re not witness to it, you still carry hope. And it that very hope is what helps you survive.

Dispersing the clouds

© Na’ama Yehuda

So, what are your hopes and wishes for the New Year? Other than health, happiness, success, wealth, love, peace and serenity. How would you like to remember the year? Or more importantly, how would you like to be remembered?

After a year that was full of clouds, let the new one be brighter. Let’s make use of the lessons learnt, spend more time with family and friends, spread love whenever possible, and don’t fret so much over the things we can’t control.

Let’s enjoy ourselves more and realise that it’s not the things, but the moments that make life grand.

Happy New Year everyone!

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

The fall of an angel

What is it that I do so wrong?” she asked her godmother with a voice that was drowning out tears.

She didn’t know that somewhere else, he was wondering the same, but chose to keep it for himself, pretending everything was perfectly fine.

The godmother smiled and sighed. It was a question almost everyone had posed at least once in their lifetime. It usually came after a painful experience. When you elevated too high with euphoria and abruptly crashed to the ground, claiming you never saw the collision drawing near. It was after the fall of an angel.

You know, even the devil was once an angel. People don’t show their true face immediately. Some may feign so well that it takes a very long time to see through them – if ever”.

So we should just never trust anyone? Ever?” She sounded so innocent, so naïve.

You should tread cautiously, drawing lessons from your previous experience. But you should not shut down your heart and stop being you”.

There was silence. She was contemplating what that meant and how it could be achieved.

Even angels find their wings too heavy sometimes”, the godmother continued, aware that the angels’ allegory always worked. After all, she was the one who had imbued it on her.

Sometimes we need to fall to be able to look up. To take a wrong turn so that we eventually get to the right place. We need the darkness to see the stars. Just remember the lessons you learn on your journey through life. But most of all, accept that some things just happen because something greater is waiting for you. It wasn’t where you were meant to be. Stop thinking too much about it. You’ll be grateful you moved on later”.

And then she said this that served as a wake-up call:

We consume ourselves where we’re not meant to be and become blind to all that awaits us”.

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