MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “expectations”

Deciphering obscure objects

https://www.google.gr/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=imgres&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjn8a_wuPfdAhXD3KQKHR9mAx8QjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Folhocurioso2015.blogspot.com%2F2015%2F10%2Fcomo-se-forma-neblina.html&psig=AOvVaw0xWhJTnB9Okhc0pQC7eV19&ust=1539108693186256Look at this. Look at it closely. What do you think it is?”

She showed him a picture of an object that was too unclear to decipher. It was oblong with sharp edges. It could be anything really. His mind began to race. The young boy had millions of images in his head as to what that object may be. They were bombarding him like fighter plane missiles.

Here’s the catch,” his teacher told him. “You only have two guesses. So make them count”.

The boy became even more agitated. Only two. The margin of error was too tight.

The object could be anything. How could he make sure he found the right answer?

In his head, he was putting together a jigsaw – placing his imaginary items onto the unknown object and assessing how far it matched.

It was a trial of imagination, of expectation, of prediction.

The task was to understand that very often in life, we imagine one thing, we expect another, we make it up in our heads to be that which we think it is, and in the end we end up disappointed when we find out it is something extremely different.

In the end we get hurt from our own expectations, when all we need to do is train ourselves to expect the lowest, even from the places and people we though the highest of.

Advertisements

Wrong expectations

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRInd3unnYE7s3GQnfW4-gHpuRbPU7h5B1jKr941Es75AipF0bMAnticipation. It’s that feeling of excitement and restlessness you get when you’re expecting something, usually positive. It’s that sense that no room or space can contain you. It’s a thrill of an imminent gush of happiness.

But when it doesn’t occur, it feels like the whole world is crashing down on you.

Perhaps it is therefore true that “peace begins where expectation ends” (Sri Chinmoy) and that is also why so many prompt us to “expect nothing and accept everything”. The root of all heartache and disappointment lies in the fact that we expect too much from people. And in that, we can only blame ourselves. Not everyone is capable of living up to our standards or even the standards we lift them up to and hope they reach.

What upsets us most in life is the picture in our head of how everything is supposed to be. It’s how we imagine everything in contrast to how they turn out to be in reality.

So, maybe it is better to not expect things to happen. It’s certainly better to be surprised than disappointed.

The things we do for others

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/5wZSt_LNq3U/maxresdefault.jpgThere are things we do during each day that go beyond our own self: holding the door open for someone, explaining something unclear to a stranger, or simply saying good morning. It’s those little things that cost nothing but may lift someone up.

Yet, sometimes, despite everything we do for others, we are disappointed with life. Often because we do not receive the appreciation we believe we deserve. Or – to the very least – a reciprocation of everything we do.

Sacrifices are usually made in silence. It is the sort of things parents do for their children, abandoning their own pleasures and hobbies so that their kids can enjoy their own. It’s when you have to make choices and decide that nothing is worth your health or spending time with your loved ones. It’s putting it all aside for once for the sake of being healthy.

The greatest disappointment comes from expectation. Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them.

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the word remains and is immortal” – Albert Pine

 

High bars

https://www.metalmulisha.com/2016/05/26/matt-buyten-trains-moto-x-step/

©Chris Tedesco

She stepped out of the train and slowly walked up to the escalator. For some reason she didn’t really want to rush like she always did. The thoughts had flooded her mind. Scenarios that may never be fulfilled. Wouldn’t it be great, she thought, if he was already there, waiting for her? But that wouldn’t happen. She already dismissed it from her mind. She walked out hurriedly heading towards the traffic lights, crossed the street, lost in her thoughts. And then she heard someone talking to her, a familiar voice that said “Honey, I’m calling you, but you won’t listen”. She turned and there he was, smiling as if nothing had been broken. He was there, waiting for her.

Now she was expecting the door to open and see him walking in. She turned her head every time a sound was heard, her heart beating faster. But it was always some stranger. Then the time came, the bells rang and she had to leave.

He didn’t come. And reality hit her hard.

Because things like that only happen in movies, not in real life.

The problem with setting the bar too high is that the higher up it is, the more it hurts when it falls.

It happens in an instance. Like the tremours of a violent earthquake during a vicious storm devastating everything in its passage.

As with everything in life, we all have expectations of how things will turn out to be. We dream and hope that it will all be realised in that idyllic way we have formulated in our head.

But they don’t always. Hardly ever. Rarely so.

Our expectations become illusions. Unfulfilled dreams of what could have been.

They say things happen for a reason. But you never truly get to find out what the reason is. You are only granted a glimpse of it when it no longer matters.

And your love becomes hate, but deep down it’s actually sorrow of time lost spent not being happy.

You end up disappointed when you realise that people don’t do for you what you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as yours.

We set the bars high because we want people to prove us wrong, that there can be those who care enough to try harder and persist. We raise our expectations in the hope of finding the people who will intensify their performance to meet them, who will do what best they can to make them a reality.  In the end, you shouldn’t be sorry for having high standards; people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark” – Michelangelo Buonarroti

The order in chaos

http://hdfreewallpaper.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Flowers-in-Rainy-Season-9.jpgThere are things you plan and just simply don’t work out. And then there are the things you don’t schedule and turn out to be wonderful. Because sometimes you need that chaos of disorder in your life. You need to allow yourself to go with the flow. To take a deep breath and be optimistic that things will evolve exactly the way they’re supposed to.

Often it is the things we don’t see coming that offer us the most joy. The ones that actually last. And the ones that show us why things did not work out before.

 

“Chaos is the law of nature; Order is the dream of man”

 

Autumn scenes

autumn-luxembourgIt’s when the weather changes that you see that different side of people you always suspected was there but never truly saw. It’s when the leaves change from green to yellow-orange-brown; when they fall and they crunch as you walk on them that you feel something peculiar take over the air. It’s that sense that another season arrives and with it other expectations, longings, desires, another form of waiting; waiting for something unknown but exciting simultaneously.

Christine gazed out the window at the autumn carpet that now decorated the palace gardens. The fallen leaves imbued a note of melancholy to the marble arches and fountains that for centuries stood in place. She was waiting for something. Maybe even someone. Perhaps a prince charming on a white stallion. But right now, she would be satisfied with even the slightest of actions out of the ordinary. Any simple gesture showing her that someone cared. Someone in particular.

As the leaves rustled in the wind, she considered it pointless, and turned away from the large window.

That is when it happened though.

The faint crackle of leaves being trodden upon. And then the ticking of pebbles being thrown on the glass.

Christine ran back to the window and looked out, her heart beating fast with excitement.

Right underneath stood, dressed in elegant attire fit for royalty, Diego, the errant boy who for so long had been in love with her. He was too scared of rejection to say anything. And thus, they both continued their daily lives not knowing. Unaware of their feelings for each other. Waiting for something to change, without even trying.

With the coming of autumn though, some hearts become bolder to reveal the love they hide inside.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Waiting

Appleopolis

sliced-appleIt’s remarkable how the most memorable moments are created when you least expect them. For example, that specific day when Josh woke up with a headache that accompanied him throughout most of the day. He was suffering and felt that the day would be wasted unless he could get rid of this pain that was drumming his head. It was that precise day when his girlfriend had booked tickets for them to visit the new entertainment resort in town.

It was called Appleopolis because it had something very peculiar and particular about it. The main food on offer was apple slices. But not just any apple slices, they were cold, freshly cut, peeled apples with a stain of honey and traces of almonds. What was even more unique about them was that they brought out your other personality. Those traits of your character that you suppressed and kept subdued inside of you.

A few minutes after Josh had savoured these apple slices, he almost forgot about the headache he had and ended up enjoying the day to the utmost. He did not remember when was the last time he had laughed so wholeheartedly; when he truly allowed himself to indulge in the moment; to recharge with experiences; and to simply live the day for what it was – an opportunity to have a good time with a loved one.

By the end of the day, the headache was gone. And Josh was feeling rejuvenated.

Fruit – just like any moment – can be adventurous too, as long as you let yourself loose to experience whatever happens, without plans, without programming, without too many expectations.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Subdued

We fall in love to feel alive

http://static.pblogs.gr/f/341533-myspace.jpgThere is a saying that “the heart has its reasons which reasons knows not” (Blaise Pascal); that sometimes what you feel you want and what you know is rational are incompatible. But the heart is a powerful organ. It’s what keeps us alive.

Maybe we should listen to it more.

The heart has a way of making you feel things deeply, intensely and with full force. It is most evident when the feeling of love is concerned.

Falling in love is a process. One that is both terrifying and wonderful at the same time. One which devours your very being, but completes you to the fullest. It is what takes complete and utter control of you, of every sense and emotion you have.

Like this brilliant article says. “we fall in love not just with a person wholly external to us, but with a fantasy of how that person can fill what is missing from our interior lives”.

We fall in love because we want to feel wanted, desired, attractive, important. Because we need someone to share our experiences with, to make them priceless, to give fun a new meaning. We both want and need that special someone who will be the reason you count down the days for the weekend, and with whom you make plans for the future. That person who will acknowledge your value and won’t hesitate to fight for you. The person who will demonstrate that no matter the tough times you will unavoidably encounter, your relationship will endure, because together is a notion that is always strongest. We fall in love because we need that spark of optimism, of hope, of brightness in our lives.

However, it is true that “all love stories are frustration stories…to fall in love is to be reminded of a frustration you didn’t know you had” (Adam Phillips). “It is as if, oddly, you were waiting for someone but you didn’t know who they were until they arrived”.

The person you fall for is one who subconsciously you had already been expecting. The person who you’ll find you share with so many common habits, beliefs, likes, interests. It’s the person who makes time fly when you’re together and with whom time is never enough.

Love becomes a progressive transformation of an initial infatuation – “that parallel intensity of longing for our lover’s presence and anguishing in her absence”. It is indeed only when you meet that person who clicks with you, that you start missing them when they’re not around, because it is only then that you realise what it is you were longing for.

Love is a constant struggle between enthusiasm and torment, between giving and receiving, between compromising and accepting. But it is the intensity of it all that makes it worthwhile. And ultimately it is the very reason we fall in love, to feel alive.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Together

Also part of Daily Prompt: Passionate

The paper boat that wouldn’t sail

https://dolunaylaben.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/paper_boat_by_eckhartmc-d2scr1c.jpgThe little boy placed the origami-paper boat into the lake and waited eagerly. In his mind, the little boat’s voyage would be tremendous. It would set sail immediately once its surface hit the water and would skid across the lake as if motor-powered.

He waited, but nothing happened.

There was no wind that day and that didn’t help.

He gave it a couple of minutes. Still nothing.

He then poked it a little with his finger. Maybe it just needed a prodding to get going.

Still nothing. The boat remained still, firm in place exactly where he had strategically positioned it at the edge of the lake.

He tried blowing at it, but that didn’t seem to work either.

He looked at the boat perplexed. What was going wrong? The water was calm, ideal, in his opinion, for a smooth sail. The weather was perfect – no clouds, sunny with a very faint breeze. The boat was masterly crafted, having calculated all the angles at which the boat would achieve optimum sailing conditions.  Yet nothing seemed to work.

The more the boy pushed and spurred the boat, the more it crumpled and sunk in the water. It still did not achieve its purpose though.

The boy despaired and gave up trying.

Then something happened. The faint breeze transformed into a gentle wind that softly pulled the paper boat inwards, giving it the stimulus it needed to start its sail.

The boy leaped with joy, clapping his hands.

Sometimes, you just need to relax, let things take their course and have some patience that it will all work out in the end. Not everything needs pressure or force to function. Often all it takes is some breathing space.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Perplexed

Those days

https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/cat-hugs.jpg?quality=75&strip=color&w=1100There are some days when you feel like the world has literally fallen on you and crushed you down. When you don’t want to even try and get out of bed. When all you really want is to roll over and fall into the warm embrace of the person you love.

There are days when everything seems futile. When you can’t seem to take any decisions, because even that seems too difficult. When you wish someone else could take all the responsibilities off your shoulders.

There are some days when your emotions are triggered by the slightest of things. When your sensitivity hits another level. When it is so easy for you to start crying just because it is what may make you feel some sort of relief.

There are those days when you just want to know that somebody cares. That somebody is there to look after you when you’re not feeling you. When you want to let go and get lost in the arms of someone who loves you. When you want to feel just as loved as all the love you have on offer. When you want to believe that the world is not as harsh as it reveals itself to be sometimes. And that in those very days, everything can become right. By the simplest of actions. By simply showing you truly care. By offering a warm hug and a bright smile.

Post Navigation