The only way is up

©MCD

There is a wonderful quote by Soren Kierkegaard that often comes to mind in tumultuous times: “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards”. We thus need to learn from the past but keep moving.

At times of emotional charge, we tend to think that we’re constantly running into our past no matter how much we try to avoid it. We see hurtful behaviours repeating, and we’re drawn into the same vicious pattern of not understanding what isn’t functioning as it should or as it so promisingly appeared to at the start.

When we’re faced with new opportunities, we want a refreshing start. We feel that there is so much out there to discover and it is revitalising when someone acknowledges your value (sometimes even more than you) and is offering you the chance to expand your potential.

The key is to not give up even when you feel you’ve hit rock bottom. There is only one way left after that, and that is up.

Whom you share good news with is a sign of whom you consider family. It’s the same people who will console you and help you pick up your pieces when you’re too exhausted too. Those people who despite their own troubles will be happy for you in your success and support you regardless. We want that cheering crowd for us. It helps us move forward.

Not stopping is what will help us survive, after all. And let’s remember, “every action you take is a vote for the person you wish to become” (James Clear), so make your habits regular actions of excellence that will only serve to raise your value.

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Where the door is always open

©Fleur Lind

Family is the people you run to when your heart is broken to alleviate your sorrow when life gets too much.

Family is the people you constantly quarrel with and sometimes can’t stand, but simultaneously the ones you miss terribly when they’re away.

Family is the people who buy you scratch cards simply to see you smile when you win. The ones who take you on long walks, rambling along the way, just to make you forget your own troubles.

Family is where a door is always open for you to return because the love is unconditional. Always and forever.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

The comfort we seek

©MCD

There is a truth we inherently know. The comfort that we seek all around us is ultimately found in our homes. The home we go to for refuge. Where we feel safe and welcome no matter what. Where our people love us unconditionally. Where regardless of your state of mind, you’ll be loved no questions asked.

Home is where you run to when life just gets too much. When the thunderstorms become too loud and you’re unable to manage them on your own. When your bubble has burst because you were filled with too many expectations that were not realised.

We return home to feel comforted. Because here, you’ll never be left alone unless you request it. Because the only question you’ll be asked is what you want for dinner. Because it is a chance to reset and reprioritize everything you considered valid in your life. It’s a chance to renew yourself and change your mentality. To return stronger, more confident, and with the determined belief that things will work out well.

We need our homes to be our safe place. No judgement, no criticism, no yelling; only laughter, love, calmness, and security.

Wherever we make that home and with whomever we choose, we need to be certain we can run there whenever adversities strike. That we’re not left alone to weather the storm but we have our persons there to help us through it. Relationships all require hard work from both sides, nothing ever simply fits into place; we need to invest ourselves and our effort to making things work if they’re worth it. But to do that we need people who welcome us with open arms when we call and say we’re coming.

We find solace in a hug, in a family’s embrace, in a loved-filled home. And that is what helps us carry on.

Live with a grateful heart

We should be grateful for friends to whom we can turn and say “I’m gonna moan for 20 minutes straight” and they’ll just make you comfortable and listen to every complaint you make.  We should be grateful for people to whom talking feels like therapy. For the family we choose to support us when life turns upside down.

We should be grateful for so much more than we actually do.

Because we don’t realise the instability of the modern world. How things may change in an instant. How plans rarely work out and how we’re often forced to forge different paths ahead.

When we get too comfortable to move, alter, or evolve, life will usually find ways to push us out of it.

We may need to reassess our entire theory of the world, but it will probably be for the best. If we’re not obliged to exit our comfort zone, we will never realise the potential we have.

This social-media-driven world has manufactured a mentality where everyone – every single person out there – has a voice that they too often than not use to proclaim how perfect and outstanding they are. Yet, it is those who have nothing to say that usually shout the loudest, and those who have nothing to show for that proclaim their greatness. Others simply try to prove their worth in actions, not hollow speeches.

We live in a contemporary state of constant disappointment but not surprise. Because we’ve learned to expect the worst, despite fighting for the best.

Regardless, however, there are so many things to still be grateful for: our good health, the family around us, the friends who embrace us, and the love we receive from the people we truly cherish.

Choose your outlook

“We’ve been through so much already,” the little girl said, tugging on her father’s coat. “If someone offers us help, I say we take it”.

He looked at her. It was true, leaving your homeland with only whatever you could carry was a torment in itself, and a heavy burden for any nine-year old to bear. The series of misfortunes that ensued was something refugees were prepared for. Particularly those violently expelled from their own country. 

They had just met someone who promised to get them to safety. But after a couple of failed attempts to believe people who vowed the same, the father was now distrustful.

“Not everyone is good”, he told her.

Her mother soon arrived, her eyes drooping from exhaustion. She took the little girl’s hand and gently placed her arm around her husband.

“There is still so much good out there”, she hummed. “But life is how you want to see it”. “If you want to find the good, you’ll find it. And if you’re constantly looking for the bad, it’ll catch up with you”.

They all breathed a little slower now. The realisation of this truth sinking in.

“We need to acknowledge that practical optimism is a much better framework on life than default pessimism”.

“Let’s choose to believe that everything will work out”.

A challenging heartfelt wish

When the last day of a very strenuous year begins with ominous news, you begin to question the very essence of our existence. It’s not only about reviewing everything we’ve been through the past 365 days anymore, or the past two years with a global pandemic still hanging over us. It’s about rethinking our very take on life itself; our perspective on how we march ahead; of what we consider important and prioritise; of what we actually do to live a life; and what even constitutes a ‘life of plenty’, a ‘happy life’.

It’s easy to spread wishes here and there. It’s as simple as saying ‘good morning’ or asking ‘how are you?’. But is it heartfelt? How rarely do we nowadays mean what we say, especially when it has to do with wishing others the best?

We desire health and blessings, happiness and love, strength and success.

What we really want is serenity, someone to lift the mental exhaustion off our shoulders, the safety of having a family nearby – be it of relatives or friends; that secure feeling of knowing that whenever something – anything, no matter how big or small – happens, there is someone there to call. We want peace of mind and of heart, that tranquillity we are so lacking in this modern era, to be able to create the life we want, to pursue the targets we set, to be realistic about what we want to do in our lives, and to have the stamina to live it.

It’s challenging to give out wishes – heck, to even say anything at all – to those who face loss. But encouragement is vital, simply to rest assured that you are not alone; even at the darkest of times, there is always a hint of light somewhere, and true friends/family are there to remind you of it.

So, to lighten the mood on this day and for the sake of hopefully making this a much better year in all respects, here are some genuinely heartfelt wishes:

May all sorrows get locked, and you get showered with the best of the best blessings.

Try to relax in the new year… and don’t think about all of the resolutions you’re supposed to be starting!

Happy New Year! May the coming year be full of grand adventures and opportunities.

May this year be filled with new adventures, good fortunes and surprises for a better life.

May every moment of this year would be unique, filled with pure pleasure and each day comes out like exactly what you want…Happy New Year!

Happy state of mind

There are some things you just know; it’s that gut feeling that is almost never wrong. Some call it instinct, intuition, fate, destiny; name it as you wish, but that energy you receive from within actually helps direct your decisions, even unconsciously.

He felt it as soon as he shook her hand and she smiled brightly at him, her eyes sparkling like stars in the darkness of the room.

The music around them was loud, but they heard nothing. For that moment, it was just them. That’s how you block out the world. When you reach a true connection with someone.

It’s inexplicable how and why. How we meet these people during the ‘right’ time in our lives; how we never met them before even if we hang in the same circles and with the same people; and why we come across them when we’re ready to truly unite on all levels.

Be it a best friend who becomes your support, your shoulder to cry on, your harshest critic, but above all your family; or be it your soulmate (if there ever is one), the one who completes you, who makes your heart flutter, and who gets you smiling broadly at the single thought of them; people with whom we connect so deeply are invaluable. Because they become the light in our darkest hours, the people who lift us up when we’re crawling, who make us see our worth when we refuse to do so, who help us achieve our targets, who assist us on our path towards becoming the product of our dreams.

We need people like these in our life, however rare they may be. Because, ultimately, they are the ones who make us the better versions of ourselves. And that matters more than anything. For that is when we are at our most productive, most healthy, and most happy state of mind.

Safe Haven

There is a place where you go to disappear when the world becomes too much.

A place where you feel safe and know that no one will judge, criticise or undermine you.

There is a place with people who always greet you with open arms, and comfort you even at the times you don’t know that is what you need.

There is a place we all have where we resort to when we simply want to forget all our worries, troubles, problems. And just sleep.

There is a place we call home. And it offers all these things for free. With the added bonus of including people who love you unconditionally.

Home is the place we return to – unfortunately – not too often. But it is where we recharge, rejuvenate, and regain the strength to continue fighting for survival in this strange world.

Cold but warm together

It was one of those winter days when you would throw (boiling) water up in the air and by the time it began its descent it had already turned into ice.

Yes, it was that cold.

But Miranda loved it. She loved the snow, the cold, and the warmth it led to indoors, wrapped up with a blanket in front of the fireplace with a hot drink in hand, and family and friends around telling stories.

The cold brought them closer together. That was what she remembered.

Sometimes all it takes is for something out of the ordinary to remind us of the most fundamental virtues in life.

We tend to forget the need to nurture our bonds with others when we simply go about our (normal) days.

On Gratitude

The Law of Attraction states that we entice what we emit, i.e. positive thoughts will bring positive outcomes. But the fundamental of all positive psychology ‘secrets’ is that of gratitude. The feeling of being thankful for what we already have. The appreciation that will help us receive more things to be grateful for.

Gratitude is a selfless act that leads to the improvement of your well-being. Grateful people are more open, more communicable, more pleasant, less neurotic, less stressed, more optimistic, happier, and with stronger interpersonal relationships.

Saying ‘thanks’ lies in far more than what you express with words. It’s about the actions that occur without speaking.

It’s about being thankful for the invisible safety net in your life formed by that indispensable network of family and friends around you who will be there for you no matter how much you yell, disappoint or push them away. It’s the people you know it’s ok to explode around,  because they’ll still be there with the outburst calms down. It’s those who help you through quarantines and lockdowns, but who are also there before and after them. Those who help you bounce back up when you don’t have the mental strength to even pull yourself up when you fall. Those who will do whatever they can to help without expecting anything in return because they know you’ll do the same if needed.

It’s important to feel grateful for the things we take for granted. Because it’s those little things that help us survive. And it’s those that we need the most to be happy. And grateful for it.