Different states of mind

People are different. It would be boring if we were all the same. From the way we look, think and act, to the stimuli we’ve had and our varying backgrounds, it all changes from one person to another.

It’s something neither good nor bad. It just is what it is. And we need to accept that.

Some people have the tendency to be more outgoing than others, to talk more and more easily. Others seek those moments of silent retreats, the loneliness of their own thoughts to be able to gather themselves before entrusting someone else with them.

Introverts are often seen by those outside their inner circle as having quiet minds. They only allow those closest to them to see the chaos that this quietness entails. An introvert will yak to you once they want to. Winning an introvert’s trust may take time, but once you do, be sure you’ve unlocked a special place reserved only for a selected few.

There is a very apt leadership quote that says be “slow to hire but quick to fire”. Consider it for a moment. It can easily apply to every relationship we have – from social to business relations. We need to be slow in developing our thoughts about people we meet, in trusting them with parts of us that we sometimes don’t even tell our own selves. But once that trust is lost, or the ties we have are broken, we shouldn’t hesitate, they’re gone immediately.

We often believe that there is only one time to make a good first impression. Do you ever get that feeling when you meet some people that you either like or dislike them without really being able to explain why? It’s your subconscious at play – gathering all those experiences you’ve already had to analyse the new entries in your life. But the truth is, there is a second chance for a first impression when you get to talk with the other. When they let you into their thoughts and positions on life, when you are allowed a glimpse of their mentality.

When we’re emotionally overcome – either by sadness, grief, anger or happiness – we’re not in the best position to make any decision whatsoever.

It’s not easy at the time to control yourself. That’s why you need a support group around you. Who sometimes know you better than yourself, and know what you need and how to get you to see it too. It takes time to build that trust and that family you choose to have.

But it also takes time to be able to acknowledge what battles are worth fighting, with who, when the right timing is, and how, where and when to detect it.

In the midst of it all, perhaps we need to realise that one thing that lately has become so evident: nothing we believe as common sense, truly is. Everyone has their own notion of what is logical and rational and what is not. And we just need to accept that difference of opinion.

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First impressions

©CEAyr

“I remember when I first arrived in Glasgow. It was an entirely different world. That’s where I saw my first automobile. I was so dumbfounded with this technological miracle of the time. And I was so impressed by the man driving it. He seemed to be elevated in a field much above everyone else. When he got out of the car and looked straight into my eyes, I could feel my blush turning into a fever. I was so embarrassed”.

“But grandma, wasn’t that how you met grandpa? In Glasgow?”

“Yes, that sure was. That was our very first encounter”.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

A garden of surprise

©J Hardy Carroll

It was a strange place to go to get to know another person better. It was just their second encounter. Simon had promised a “surprise that would definitely be worth her time” if Harriet accepted to see him again. She blushed and accepted without thinking too much. Sometimes overthinking steals the joy of impulsive actions.

They spent almost the entire day at the botanical gardens. She had never been, but it was on her ‘to-do’ list. He had recently read about it.

It was there that they both discovered the importance of being blown away by someone’s mind and personality.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

The second time around

The first time it happened was during a full moon in a dimly lit French bar down town. He was working behind the bar and she was on a night out with girlfriends. The first instance their eyes met, the lights flickered and it was evident that a connection had been made. But it didn’t all start out so well.

Eleonore and her three friends were enjoying a glass of wine enjoying the musical background of classical jazz. A group of men who were drinking whisky at the nearby table wanted to try their luck at the flirting game. But when they were rejected, they didn’t stop and their insistence spurred a mini-brawl in the bar, resulting in Gabriel – the barman – rushing to the rescue together with the two waiters. The fight ended 15 minutes later with two broken chairs, three broken bottles and double the broken glasses. The rowdy men were thrown out and Gabriel went to wash up. Eleonore felt bad on the one hand that he got involved in a fight but on the other, every woman feels flattered when a man stands up for their honor.

Gabriel did not even approach Eleonore that night, and when the girls finally left in the early hours of the morning, just a few minutes before closing time, their eyes met, but he quickly turned around, pretending to tend to the machines and bottles behind the bar.

Eleonore was disappointed. She thought their instant ‘click’ would lead to more. Now, she would probably never see him again. Unless of course they kept returning to that bar. But she couldn’t show that she was so desperate. She decided to simply forget it all.

A week later, Eleonore’s phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?” She said, curiosity reigning in her voice. “Hi,” a chirpy male voice bounced on the other end of the line. “It’s Gabriel, I work at the bar downtown. We sort of met the other night with that scuffle. I just wanted to ask how you are?” Eleonore’s eyes opened wide and she began to tremble with joy. He had called her! How did he even get her number? But, he called! “I’m fine, thank you! It was very thoughtful of you to call,” she tried sounding calm and neutral. “I was wondering if perhaps you would you like to go out sometime, maybe get to know each other a little bit?” She wanted to scream “YES!”, but instead managed to contain her excitement and utter, “Sure, would tomorrow night be good for you?” “It would be great,” he said. He was just as thrilled but was also trying to hide it. “We’ll talk tomorrow on the details. Have a great day!” “You too!” she said as she took the phone away from her ear and swirled on the spot.

It turns out that even if first impressions don’t work out, that doesn’t necessarily mean the second meeting won’t be wonderful. You just have to believe that something wonderful is always about to happen. Sometimes, it might very well be true!

Also part of Daily Prompt: Night and Day