MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “friends”

That feeling of being at home

©MCD

There is a serenity in finding a place you can call home. Because no matter how many buses, trains, airplanes you need to get there, it is all worth the tiredness when you finally reach it. It is a place you hold dear in your heart because you know it will always welcome you back, no matter how far you go or how long it takes for you to return.

It is even greater if you have friends who will always be waiting for you and who will get out of their way to make you feel like home, because that is exactly where you feel you are. A family is one that extends beyond blood ties. And those friends who are geographically distant from you are sometimes the ones who are the closest. You will talk for hours about everything and always be up to date with each others’ lives. They will always have some wise advice to share and that optimism that everything will be all right and life will find its way to give you want you deserve.

There are places that mark our lives. Places where we wished we could live forever, as long or short a period that word connotes. There are places that don’t really change with time, but that is perfectly OK with us because you don’t want them to change (only if it is for the better). There are places other people tell you they visited on a travel streak and you are proud to say, ‘I know it, I lived there, it is like home’.

There are places where no matter your absence, whenever you return, you know exactly where everything is and where to go, where the hidden gems are, and where to find the best views. As if coming back home.

And if you are lucky enough to find such a place with friends who have become family, you are blessed with having a home away from home, one that will offer you peace and tranquillity, a place to crash (literally and metaphorically) and the strength to regroup yourself so you can return to ‘normality’ stronger and more optimistic.

What you see is often what you actually get

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“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” – it’s Newton’s Third Law of Physics. Or put plainly: whatever you give out will come back to you.

Wouldn’t that be great if it were true? If all the attention, effort and emotion you put into your relationships, your work, your life in general, was reciprocated? If the people you were there for when they needed you, would also run to your side when difficulty hit your door?

We don’t always get what we deserve. No matter how much we try or appeal for it. Some things are beyond our control, and although it’s hard to swallow, we need to accept that we are not always responsible for the way people behave or even treat us. It’s a matter of character, of mentality, of experiences, of upbringing; of a series of factors we have no effect over.

What we can do is stop putting ourselves out there for people who won’t do the same for us. Because, usually, when people show you they don’t care, it’s because they probably really don’t. You need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and regain the strength you had before all the emotion got to your brain. Sometimes we need to behave more rationally than emotionally for our own mental health and wellbeing.

You reach a point at times when you realise there is no use in putting others before your own self. In the end, you’re most likely the only one who does.  And you simply end up losing yourself in the process.

Unconditional true bonds

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She woke up excited but didn’t know why. It was the third day in a row that little Madeleine woke up before the alarm clock, bright and early without any particular reason. Her nights had been tormented by strange nightmares whose signs she could not read in the morning. But she always tried to retain her optimism, just like her parents taught her. After all, if you smile at life, it will eventually smile back.

In her backyard, the stray cat she had taken under her protection, provided for and fed for the past few months, had a surprise for her: three adorable little kittens. They were all running around playfully in the garden, under the watchful eye of mama-cat.

Madeleine couldn’t help but grin widely at the sight. She was thrilled that her cat family had expanded. It meant more friends, more living creatures with whom to create an unconditional bond.

Mama-cat walked over to where Madeleine was sitting watching them. She meowed and comfortably sat in front of the child’s legs. She began to purr as soon as Madeleine touched her back and began to pet her. A short while after, the three kittens joined in. They were fluffy little creatures, full of awe and excitement with the world.

She looked as they stared into her eyes, their small eyeballs gleaming in the sunlight. If only it were as easy to form unconditional, mutual and lasting bonds with people.

Defusing agitation

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There are many ways to clear your head. To diminish the stress that is engulfing you and be able to breathe again a little deeper. They range from exercise, meditation, reading, writing, cooking, to spending time with friends, family and pets, even changing your house décor. But there is one thing that is underestimated in making you feel better: talking.

Keeping your thoughts and feelings locked up inside is like maintaining a time bomb inside a box and waiting for the timer to go off. The explosion will be massive. And it will hurt not just you but those around you too. That is why people suffering with depression and stress are also easily agitated and nervous. Their small and often outbursts are usually caused by the fact that they bury everything deep inside hoping they will simply dissolve. But this sooner or later diffuses into your physical system as well causing other problems.

Talking is underestimated. Because although it may not solve your problems, it is a way of defusing them. Of sharing your thoughts with someone who cares for you and understands. Someone who is there right when you need them. Someone who knows that when your rage overwhelms you the solution is not to leave you alone, but instead embrace you and hold you until calmness prevails. Someone who is willing to stand by you, to show you that you don’t have to carry your burdens alone. Someone with whom you don’t need to say much and who always knows just the right thing to say to soothe your pain and make you feel just a little bit better.

We should surround ourselves with people like that. Who when you wake up in a bad mood, won’t criticise you for it, but will tell you that every day gets better. Who prompts you to be grateful for what you have – your health and people who love you. Who gives you the encouragement you need to never let anyone get you down or make you feel like you’re not worth it. Because in the end, the only person whose opinion truly matters is your own.  

Something special within the season

©MCD

He realised something was happening when the bright seasonal decorations began to appear, first on the main door, then the lights on the window. Suddenly the night appeared to light up. There was colour pouring out of every corner of the building.

The snow made it evident winter had come. But that too was part of the season. You had to feel it was winter.

He didn’t care it was this cold. He was used to it anyway. It was freezing when he arrived a year ago. One year had already past. And now he was ready to celebrate a birthday. One that happened to coincide with the most wonderful time of the year.

He disliked the fact that people bypassed his own celebrations and he had to deal with the fact that every one was celebrating these days. He wanted to feel special. To have a day devoted to him. To have a day that was his very own.

Those who cared would make it so.

After all that is what family and friends are for.

Even if you are simply a kitten.

You still deserve to have something unique, especially for you.

Talk to listen

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Humans have a strange characteristic: they can either talk for hours or sit in silence. Sometimes we need to alternate between the two.

A good, long, talk – and sometimes a good cry – is often the best cure for anything that is bothering you. It works best if there is a recipient. A friend who understands you and can soothe your aching soul.Someone who was with you before a crisis, now during it, and will remain even after it is gone. Talking about our problems alleviates our sense of burden,the pressure we feel because of them. But it has an even greater effect when you know that you’re talking to someone who may not be able to relate, but certainly comprehends your troubles. They don’t need to offer solutions. Just to be there and listen. Often, that is more important. Because most people don’t listen. They only hear what they want, all the while preparing their response for when it is their turn to enter the discussion.

Perhaps that is also the reason why it is difficult to have intellectual conversations nowadays. That ability to just sit and talk, about anything and everything. To speak without fear or regrets or limitations. To talk for hours about life and all is challenges and what makes it all worthwhile.

There is a very valid saying related to this: “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people”. Consider what the talk is about next time you socialise. You’ll better realise your level of interaction.Of course, we’ve all found ourselves discuss all three at some point or other. But it is the time you devote to each that matters.

Talking helps us to externalise what we’re hiding inside. It also helps us better understand ourselves and our own needs. What we’re feeling and what we want to do about it. Most of the time we don’t talk so that others can offer solutions, we talk so that we better acknowledge our problem and find the way to solve it ourselves and help us heal. Support, however, is always welcome.

The thing is, to choose to talk. For whenever we say “I can’t”, “it is not my fault”, “I’m not responsible”, “there is no other way”, we are merely lying to ourselves. There is always a choice. And it is one made by us.

When things go wrong

cat-tigerThings are bound to get rough. It’s a fact of life. Nothing is perfect all the time. There comes a moment when things will go wrong. And sometimes, too many things go wrong for too long. But like Charles R. Swindoll said, “life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it”.

There are days when you won’t want to get out of bed, out of fear that something (even more) terrible will happen. Days when you’re overcome by negative thoughts, when you’re convinced that someone cast a spell on you – the neighbour, the person who competes with you for a parking spot, those others who are always jealous of you but hypocritically act as if they’re happy for you. And somehow, your mood drops, you don’t feel like doing anything, seeing anyone or even getting out of the house. Because you know that when one thing goes wrong, a whole lot of others will follow. And they usually do. Something breaks that you can’t fix; your computer gives up on you; you lose your lucky charm that you’ve had for years.

They say there is a reason things happen. You just never find out what it is.

But what you need to force yourself to do is to abandon the negative thoughts. Being negative attracts negativity. And in the same sense, being positive will turn things around. Try to smile and the sun will shine a little brighter. But most of all, surround yourself people who offer more than sympathy. People who will embrace you, look out for you and persuade you that there are things in life worth being grateful for. And if something goes wrong now, it’s because something even better is on its way.

You just have to believe.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Sympathy

Matching levels

http://www.letuspublish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/xCute-friendship-wallpaper-download-1024x768.jpg.pagespeed.ic.qfuv0GACdr.jpgA wise old woman once told me that you should look to find someone who matches your level. It may sound simple, but as you mature and widen the perspectives through which you view the world, you realise that this is more difficult than it seems.

Every day we meet various people from different fields of social life. It depends on what we do and the circles within which we interact, but, regardless, if you look around you, you will see that we are surrounded by people from varying age groups, educational levels, social backgrounds, religious convictions, sexual orientations, financial prosperity, nutritional preferences, etc. What makes us get along better with some over others is, however, common habits and perceptions. Having similar viewpoints is something that would enable you to develop closer ties with certain people. It’s those who you choose to be your friends, your confidants, your partners. But, even with them, some times you need to compromise to resolve potential arguments in case your beliefs collide, and in order to maintain a harmonious relationship.

It is said that as you grow older you become more selective and ultimately more demanding with those you have next to you. You also tend to become more experienced, which in most case (should) mean that you are more knowledgeable of life itself.

Hence, the reason to seek out someone of your level.

Because you need someone on your side with whom you can discuss politics and current affairs, but also sports, technology, fashion, and celebrity gossip. You want to have the option of talking about everything and anything at any given time. It is the concept of having a broad education and being aware of what is going on in the world we live in. That is why you need someone who also shares this outlook.

You yearn for someone who can comprehend that when you say you haven’t slept because you were up all night covering a major ground-breaking news development, that means that you literally did not get any sleep and that is nowhere near the same as staying up at a party (yet getting at least 2-3 hours sleep in the early morning hours).  Someone who can see that when you’re on the verge of exhaustion, you – just like everyone – have your own way of reacting to it, wanting to be alone in tranquility and avoiding chatter. Someone who can actually understand that complex nature of what it is you do for a living and respect the difficulty it entails, despite the flexibility of the job. Someone, who will understand all of the above and try to assist you, even when you don’t ask for help.

We all want someone in our lives who we’ll call a friend, but will really be family. A home away from home when necessary. The person who’ll freely give out hugs or offer alcohol whenever needed. And the one who will know which occasion calls for which remedy accordingly.

But what we need most of all, is people surrounding us with whom you don’t need to lower your level to fit in. People with whom you’ll challenge each other to become better, smarter and more informed. That is how the world would change for the better. By pushing each other forward. Not the opposite.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Companion

Knowing the mountain

http://www.wallpaperup.com/156976/forest_trees_landscape_house_mountains_autumn_fog.htmlHow much do you really know a person? How much can you truly say you understand about them from the few (or even many) hours you spend with them? Can you comprehend the flicker of their eyes when they’re stressed? Or the jolting of their hands when under pressure? Can you tell if they are smiling because they’re genuinely happy or because they’re trying to conceal a sadness unbeknownst to others? Can you ever grasp where their thoughts are travelling to when they gaze blankly into space, uttering that everything is fine?

We meet so many people during the course of our lives. People we run into by accident and never see again. People who stay and become family. People who pass through enriching our experiences and bequeathing us with lessons that help us mature and move forward. But how many of those people can you truly claim to know? To comprehend who they are, even beyond what they tell you? To realise what it is they are saying without them voicing it? How many of those people can you identify with so deeply that you are certain you’re part of their lives?

Introverts, they say, feel more comfortable closing up in their own shell at times. But that is often when they need someone the most. Someone they don’t really need to talk to, drawing comfort from the fact that there is just someone there, who (shows s/he) cares. That doesn’t necessarily only apply to introverts, though. All people need some time alone. But we all need the reassurance that someone is quietly looking out for us and worrying when we’re not OK.

The key to understanding people is noticing the little things they do. Those small gestures that betray some minor, yet significant, trait of their character. How people play with their hair or fiddle when they’re nervous. How their eyes sparkle when they’re happy. How their voice changes according to the emotion. How they can rejoice with the tiniest of things that make them feel special. How they are fighting an identity crisis on the inside but are seemingly invincible and fearless on the outside. How even the most certain and outgoing people have a part of them that is fearful and in need of encouragement.

You may live with people your entire life and never truly know them. It is like residing in the mountain valley and never climbing the steep path to the top. It may take effort, but the result will justify you in more ways you can imagine.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Mountain

Awakening a soul

playful dogSome things just fill your heart without even trying.

That is what Ivana felt every time she walked through the door and he was there waiting for her. There was so much joy in his eyes. It was almost as if the love he held in his heart was so vast, he could explode with emotion. And he was so honest about every single thing he felt.

He would show it all – when he was upset, when he was hungry, when he wanted to go for a walk, when he just wanted to lie down, when he wanted to pick her up instead.

Ivana knew that he was the one person who would always be there for her, rejoicing in her excitement and empathizing in her pain. At times, he was all she ever wanted.

Until the time he left. As suddenly as he had appeared.

That was the only fault she had found in him in his fourteen years. That his life was too short.

Her dog was more than just her buddy, her friend, her partner, her therapist, her family. He was her whole world. She was constantly trying to be better, because he made her believe she could. She wanted to be the person her dog thought she was.

He was someone who motivated her to play, to laugh, to cuddle, to be curious, to seek adventure, to love, and to be loyal.

And that look in his eyes whenever she came home – no matter if she had just popped out to the kiosk around the corner – it was priceless. It made her believe that this is the only creature in the world that may love someone else so much more than he loves himself.

They say that dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling a space we didn’t even know we had. They have an ability of demonstrating true happiness, unconditional love and absolute loyalty, making our lives complete. But they also have a way of nourishing you with the strength you need to carry on, when they move on to another world.

 

“Until one has loved an animal a part of one’s soul remains unawakened” – Anatole France

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Buddy

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