Suspicious minds

One of the greatest problems of the contemporary world is that we’ve grown too suspicious. Of everyone and everything. Kindness is seen with disbelief, as someone wanting to deceive us or seeking something (often more expensive) in return. If someone approaches you simply with the intention of having a friendly chat, it’s like a red alarm goes off in our brain signalling caution. Whatever anyone says or does anymore is automatically perceived with severe caution and distrust.

Even during a first encounter with any potential relationship, we’re distrustful and apprehensive of everything: the words they say, their body movements, the look in their eyes; every single thing. Perhaps it’s an upshot of having been burnt too many times in the past or simply the fact that fraud and deceit are so widespread in this world where anyone can claim to be anyone and anything without any proof.

So we try to take caution.

But as we get to know people, we slowly put our guard down. Sometimes it takes a comforting smile, an honest conversation, and finding that secret button of yours that let’s them in; making you laugh. It often doesn’t take much to feel secure with someone once they win over your trust.

But then you stop being so fearful of everything. Because you think you’ll get back that love you give out; that your attention, energy, and presence will all be reciprocated. And when you’re unexpectedly hurt, you turn to ‘anthems’ like Miley Cyrus’ latest song that you can do things better on your own and take care of yourself better than anyone else can.

The truth is, however, we’re not meant to be alone. Like Aristotle said, humans are social beings. We need the company of others to survive, to evolve, to be who we are. No matter how well we cope alone, we all secretly (or not) want someone to share our life with, someone to ramble on about when we’re facing bureaucratic nonsense and are having a bad day, but also when funny and oddly good things occur too. We want someone to cuddle up with to watch a movie (even if we’ll fall asleep in the first 20 minutes of it). Someone to go on long walks with and recount what we’ve been up to; our successes as well as the adversities that we’ve encountered. We want people next to us who will console our pain during the hard times but also share our joy during the happy ones.

Despite the vicious circle of suspicion that this society has led us into, we want someone who will love, respect, and care for us, to whom we can express our soul’s desires without the fear of regretting it, and to whom we can give it all and know it will be reciprocated without ever asking for it.

In this world of distrust, we want people whom we hug and they hug us right back even tighter because they can feel that is what we need to heal our troubled hearts.

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Altering an unreal vision

It was one of those mornings when it was neither hot nor cold; it was just cloudy and dull. Like her mood that day. The humid heat made it all somewhat insufferable, even stifling.

Zoe woke up nervous. It was the type of agitation that appeared after not being able to sleep well all night, with too many thoughts swivelling through her mind and a temper she couldn’t really explain.

She had dreamt that her big dance performance had arrived, the one that would make or break her career; the one that would get her into the professional dance school she had her heart set on since she was a child. But just as she was about to make that finally leap, sure to astonish everyone, her ankle turned and she had to conclude the show with grinding teeth and a pain that left her in stitches. It was almost impossible not to reveal how much it hurt.

Zoe woke in the middle of the night in sweat and an inexplicable pain in her stomach. It all felt so real. The passion, the agony, the anguish, the sting, the heartbreak, the utter discomfort of it all.

She took hold of her years-old teddy bear and, with the naivety of a child, tried to go back to sleep. But it was no longer possible.

Dawn came but the emotions had remained. How do you alter a nightmare?

She spent all day watching movies on her couch. It was an effort to change her mood. But that didn’t work either. It only happened when he came along. When Ted rang the doorbell and greeted her with a smile, a rose, a cookie and – what she needed most – a warm, tight hug.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Astonish

A bear’s hug

No matter how strong you are or feel you ought to be, there comes a time when you too feel vulnerable and weak and just need someone to come over and give you a bear hug. You know, that tight hug, were the other wraps their arms around you, almost immobilizing you. That powerful embrace that makes you feel you’re not alone because you can feel the other person’s heart beating on your chest. It’s that cuddle we all need to feel warm inside. The one where you seem to be holding the other person in your grasp, but you are really touching their soul.

We all need a hug once in a while. For more reasons than the simple pleasure of feeling closer to someone dear to us.

When we hug someone, that nurturing touch enhances our sense of trust and safety. But it also allows oxytocin to be released into our bodies by our pituitary gland, lowering both our heart rates and our cortisol levels, helping us soothe feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger.

Holding a hug for an extended time also increases our serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.

Hugging boosts self-esteem because it is associated with the feeling that we are loved and special.

Hugging relaxes muscles and releases tension in the body. Hugs can take away pain, as they soothe aches by increasing circulation into the soft tissues.

Perhaps most importantly, however, “hugs are so much like meditation and laughter. They teach us to let go and be present in the moment. They encourage us to flow with the energy of life. Hugs get you out of your circular thinking patterns and connect you with your heart and your feelings and your breath”.

So no matter your age, your state or occupation, give hugs freely and receive them just as openly. They are vital for our survival and will certainly make your day.

Those days

There are some days when you feel like the world has literally fallen on you and crushed you down. When you don’t want to even try and get out of bed. When all you really want is to roll over and fall into the warm embrace of the person you love.

There are days when everything seems futile. When you can’t seem to take any decisions, because even that seems too difficult. When you wish someone else could take all the responsibilities off your shoulders.

There are some days when your emotions are triggered by the slightest of things. When your sensitivity hits another level. When it is so easy for you to start crying just because it is what may make you feel some sort of relief.

There are those days when you just want to know that somebody cares. That somebody is there to look after you when you’re not feeling you. When you want to let go and get lost in the arms of someone who loves you. When you want to feel just as loved as all the love you have on offer. When you want to believe that the world is not as harsh as it reveals itself to be sometimes. And that in those very days, everything can become right. By the simplest of actions. By simply showing you truly care. By offering a warm hug and a bright smile.

Let life happen

Sometimes you don’t need words to feel something profoundly. All you need is a smile that shines from the heart. A look that makes your eyes glimmer with happiness. And a deep hug that embraces inside of it everything you need to say.

Because sometimes, words are just not enough…

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Profound