Your most important ally

Why do we act like we do? It is a question that has troubled people throughout the ages – from philosophers, writers, sociologists, and psychologists, to modern therapists of all sorts. Why do we behave in certain ways? What triggers us to give resonance to certain thoughts and thinking motives over others? Why do we allow our minds to take so much control of our emotional reactions? What leaves us powerless before our own selves?

Taking charge of oneself is not an easy task. It requires you to understand yourself first. To come to terms with who you are, what affects you and why, and what you can do about it. It necessitates a process of observation above all. To realise first what is happening, to then accept it, and to often forgive yourself for it. We need to be kinder to ourselves, to talk ourselves up instead of down, to treat ourselves like the royalty that we are and to lift ourselves higher than we very often do.

Once we offer ourselves the value we deserve, and acknowledge it too, everything will change – both inside and outside. Because once you can deal with your internal turbulence, the exterior circumstances will seem a breeze. Things will affect you less and certainly not with the same force or attracting the same demeanour on your part. You will be able to allow things to slide and just accept that some things just are as such and there is not much you can do to control them. But even that is OK.

It’s all good if you first and foremost feel good inside.

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Speaking out or not at all

When you’ve reached a peak of psychological exhaustion, you often come to wonder if it’s worth speaking out or not at all.

You don’t have to be a rebel to chase after what you’re entitled to, what should be done, what is logical. But like we’ve so blatantly realised during the past year, logic has no reason, and in some case, no existence either.

We speak out because we believe that’s right, and because, deep down, we hope our message will get through and help get things done.

At first, you use diplomacy, but when politeness finds no end, irritation sets in, strictness, and words begin to scathe.

But in the end, we realise that neither has any effect. You can’t force another to do your will.

Perhaps that is what we mostly need to realise: the borders of our own capabilities – how far we can impose change.

Some things don’t happen because we yearn them to.

They depend on the essence of another human being.

And sometimes that is the most difficult thing to control.

Also part of Your Daily Word Prompt

We are a strange people

There are three types of people in this world: Those who when told to do something by experts or authorities choose to follow the rules; those who only follow some of them in a customized way that suits them best; and those who obstinately refuse to do so.

We are a strange people.

We have demonstrated that worse than a virus that is plaguing humanity is stupidity that, unfortunately, cannot be remedied with a vaccine.

We have heard and seen so much in the past couple of months since the coronavirus (Covid-19) outbreak, that we begin to wonder how mankind has actually survived 2020 years amidst this astoundingly low IQ that is on display everywhere lately. Perhaps it is simply a matter that we now have the means (social media) to make our stupidity more evident and apparent and for all to see. What is even more tragic is that the dumber you seem, the more proud of it you seem to appear.

From the most obvious things that belong in the realm of common sense – from washing your hands, maintaining basic hygiene, and not cramming everywhere – to simple instructions, such as how to (properly) wear a face mask to cover nose and mouth, people are reacting everywhere as if they have been told to become victims of the most horrible and unending punishment.

It is ridiculous how much time and energy we waste in rebelling against something that is supposed to protect us from each other and us collectively from something that is evidently (despite the abundant conspiracies) affecting us in a very negative way, both in health and in economy.

We have proven that we need legislation to regulate even the most common sense issues. But we stubbornly refuse to abide to the laws, because we simply have to object to something, to show that we do not yield to a system that is trying to violate our rights and freedoms, and because we simply do not want to.

Yet, we are aware of every provision of the law and are willing to exercise our legal rights when our neighbour’s dog wakes us up from our afternoon nap, or for any other pedantic reason we find to draw money from the state, or waste time and energy to prove that we are superior to those we ourselves elected to manage a democracy.

We rebel against technocrats and scientists, arguing that they bought their way into their positions. But not everyone is like that. Corruption and nepotism is definitely widespread. But there are people who have worked hard and made sacrifices to be where they are. And they are trying to help.

It is easier to criticise everything and everyone when you are sitting on your couch and have not spent years or grey matter studying. And it is much easier to feel contempt that others justifiably have more knowledge than you and can recommend what to do to keep you safe. It is easier to scorn than to admire. And consequently it is this competitive nature that makes us fight against the tide rather than go along with it.

We believe we are more clever, cunning and astute than the next person. We have ideas – an abundance of innovative trends – that we do not use for something good or useful, but for the most ludicrous reasons, and for our own benefit and interests alone.

We are a strange people.

And the more we try to change others, the more we realise that it is those who couldn’t care less about the world that will end up surviving the longest.

Perspective rain

It started raining before the sun emerged. When the first rays hit the sky, a rainbow appeared.

Elise woke late and got up almost forcefully to begin the day. She did not have much planned, but you never know what each day may bring. You just need to be ready for it.

She sat near the window watching the rain alternate from thunderous storm to pitter-patter.

It was half an hour later that a message sounded on her phone. A pleasant alteration to an otherwise empty schedule. With a lighter mood, she got ready quickly, took her large umbrella and walked out into the ominous weather.

By the time she returned, she had a renewed perspective on life itself. The rain hadn’t stopped. But that didn’t matter.

There are some people in your life who know when to appear at the right moment, even without you asking. They are those who without trying, without even knowing at times, lift you up and fix your mood, no matter what you’ve been going through. Be it a parent, a friend, a close associate, even your boss. They are those who effortlessly challenge and prompt you to become a better person. Who show you that you should strive for excellence, to be the best you can be, to read more, to discover more of the world we live in, and most importantly to act, to stay in constant motion, to feel alive.

Those who make you see that beyond the rain there is always a rainbow signalling the arrival of the sun.

People like handcrafted plates

“Sit. Take this plate. Look at it closely. Examine it. What do you see?”

“It’s decorated,” Jill replied, her young age obstructing her perspective.

“What more?” her aunt pressed.

“It’s colourful. Artfully decorated. It seems handcrafted. And there are so many details. You need to look closely to see them. To appreciate them”.

“Good. Now throw it down”.

Jill glared at her aunt.

“What?”

“Throw the plate down”.

“But…but, it will break”, she uttered, scared.

“That’s the point”.

Jill let the plate go, reluctantly. It fell onto the ground and broke into numerous pieces of all sizes.

“Pick it up and try to place the pieces back together”.

Jill tried, but there were many smaller pieces that had fractured and were too small to find or stick back together.

“Now what do you see?”

“It’s broken,” Jill sighed, genuinely saddened.

“It’s not the same. It’s not as beautiful. You can see the cracks and even if it is glued, they will still be evident. And the colour seems almost faded because of it”.

“Isn’t it still the same plate, though?”

“I guess”. The little girl seemed perplexed.

“People are like this handcrafted plate,” her aunt finally explained the meaning of this exercise. Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way. You need to look closely to see all those details that make each person special. But people, contrary to objects, have feelings. If they are pushed aside for too long, like a plate on the edge of a counter, they will fall and break. And once they do, they will carry the scars within them. No matter how much they try to pull themselves back together, to survive and go on, the scars will remain, perhaps faded, but they are still there. Time won’t heal them; it will just make it easier to live with them”.

Jill stared, listening attentively to every word.

“Always be kind to everyone you meet. You don’t know what scars each person hides. And treat people as softly and sympathetically as you would want to be treated. Not everyone sees the world the same way, but kindness is universal”.

The vicious circles we feed

There is a place in the heart of the city where people go to disappear. It’s a place you often pass by on your daily route to work, shopping or whatever else you choose to spend you time, money and energy on. But you don’t realise they are there. You pretend not to see them. Not to know that these neighbourhoods are different.

We fear different. We oppose and react to whatever we don’t understand.

We don’t even try to change things. We simply acknowledge that they are not how they should.

And so, we continue our lives, and more people simply disappear out of theirs.

Because it is not easy to actually live. To have a life that fulfils you and completes you. People are used to existing. And documenting their existence to prove to others that they are doing things worthwhile. In reality, trying to convince themselves that they matter.

We close our eyes to those who need help. Because we don’t want to assume the responsibility of change.

And then we protest that nothing ever changes or improves. Like a vicious circle we ourselves feed.

The people around us

One of the best advice to pass on to others is to surround yourself with people who empower you to become better. Be picky about who you keep around you, because personalities, words and traits do rub off naturally. The people around you reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel. Their energies are contagious.

Surround yourself with smart people who will argue with you. Not those who will tell you exactly what you want to hear. Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you even at times when you don’t see it yourself.

We need people around us who will lift us up, no matter what.

We want people in our lives who will help us grow, who will develop with us, with whom we will share experiences and be comrades in life.

Not people who are still too stuck on their guardians they are too afraid to build a life for themselves, those who are not capable of evolving because it means stepping out of their comfort zone, those who don’t even consider taking any life-changing decision.

We need people around us who don’t ask “what if I fall?”, but rather “what if I fly?”

A World of Shock

You know that old woman who shoved you while hurrying to get off the bus this morning? She was running to get to the hospital, as her husband suffered a heart attack while she was at the market. And remember that young man getting sunburnt on the side of the pavement where he was rooted, who even offered his blessing when you stopped to hand him some change? Two hours later, his cousin dropped by in a fancy car, picked him up and went to the beach.

Things are not always what they seem. Nor can we even imagine what the reality is truly like. In a world marred by constant talk of crisis, sensationalist media reports, and the looming pessimism of disasters – be they natural, financial, political or even moral – we live in a constant state of instability and shock. We are fighting nervous breakdowns by pretending we’re OK, by keeping on moving, by refusing to even consider what would happen if we stopped and breathed it all in.

People all around us seem so different, even though we share common ground. Nonetheless, all we mostly see – or chose to acknowledge – is the extent to which we vary from each other. And this usually always means that “the others” are most often luckier, more privileged, and “have it easy”. Or even that those who have managed to travel beyond the continent, somehow have returned deeming themselves over and above their compatriots, as if now they are somehow better than everyone else, as if they no longer belong to this world. There are people like that. Who managed to rise up from the slums into a life of riches, and all of a sudden, they have become too important to deal with “petty commoners”, or even “locals”. Those who rise from their ashes remembering their past and helping others survive it too are, unfortunately, a rarity in this world.

In one of the most enthralling, shocking, riveting, and illuminating books of modern times, Naomi Klein describes exactly this. How we live in a world of shock. How certain capitalists pursue a “Shock Doctrine” in order to impose Milton Friedman’s Chicago School model of deregulation, privatization, and cut of public spending. It reveals our world as it truly is, one run by capitalism that has no interest for its human impact. She dubs this “Disaster Capitalism”, because it concerns big private companies profiting at the expense of the poorer and lower down on the social scale, whenever disaster (in any form) strikes. It is the implementation of a shock and awe policy. Simply considering the world we live in today – this constant state of “crisis” – it is not hard to see that certain international institutions (the International Monetary Fund, for example) are doing exactly this – demanding that their terms be implemented if money is to be disbursed; terms that include drastic spending cuts, VAT increases, privatisations, cuts in the public sector, no matter what that may mean to the levels of unemployment, poverty and a break in the social chasm. According to this powerful book, the only thing that shines some optimism among us, is the fact that memory is the strongest shock absorber of all, and the only one capable of providing resistance to the repeating of such events.

No matter what you read, or if you don’t read at all, Naomi Klein’s “The Shock Doctrine” is an eye-opening book that everyone – every politician who is not an idiot, every citizen who wants to make a difference, every person who refuses to be a lemming – should read. You will never view the world in the same way ever again.