MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “human relationships”

Clean Slate

© Na’ama Yehuda

Love stories of the past are like wilted flowers. Their time – and season – has ended. They were wonderful while they lasted, but they had a due date. And it has expired.

We need to let them go. Throw them out so that we have space to bring in new ones. Fresh, colourful, scented, alive. Ones that remind us that there is a bright future ahead and it’s up to us to make it prosperous.

We can remember, but it should not affect us. Perhaps that is the hardest to master.

Some flowers last forever; those we should nourish.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Set limits

There is a simple truth we tend to realise the hard way, after suffering too much disappointment in people: not everyone is worth your time.

We need to set limits not to keep others away, but to protect our own selves.

The world has fallen apart because we envy and hate more than we admire and love.

Solidarity is just a word, not an action.

So many empty statements are made, filled with hypocrisy and feint that it is not easy to trust anyone anymore.

We need to clear our lives of toxic, narcissistic people who have nothing real to offer us; to tear off their masks so we can alleviate ourselves from the burden of trying to please everyone to the extent that we neglect our own well-being.

‘No’ is in fact a complete sentence. We need to start saying it more so life can smile upon us.

Everything comes at the right timing, as long as we are able to deal with the situations we are called to face.

To remain optimistic, we need to have positive, smiling people around us.

But unfortunately, those genuinely rejoicing with your happiness are rare to find.

Up there

©Roger Bultot

Take me up there,” she said, pointing at the high-storey building in front of them.

He had asked what she wanted to do for their first day in the city together. He had been there for two months already before their schedules coincided enough for her to be able to visit.

He was planning on surprising her during the few days she was there. He wanted her to stay there with him. And as soon as their eyes met when she arrived, he was certain of it.

He was going to propose up there, with a view of the city.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Seeking advice

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We seek advice from others because it is often deafening to quarrel with the sound of your own voice inside your head. We feel the need for an exterior perspective, in case we’re missing something given that we’re so deep in the situation we’re experiencing.

Perhaps it is true that “advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t” (Erica Jong) or maybe it’s just that we look to others to help us find a solution we’re too blind to see.

Talking to others – to the right others – most times helps us clarify things that are fogging our own judgement. It makes us see a clearer picture by getting out of the circle of our own bias and viewing a more spherical perspective.

But there is a catch in turning to friends – or professionals – for help: they’re not you. And whatever they tell you, they’re not the ones who will have to live with the decisions you make.

Not all friends want what’s best for you, neither does everyone understand how you feel, how you react, your idiosyncrasies, needs or desires. But most importantly, no one really knows what you should do in any given situation; opinions are not facts; they’re merely a perspective of reality. And each person behaves differently, leading to a diverse outcome each time. There is no ‘one-shoe-fits-all’ solution to all of our problems. Plus not all ‘friends’ want what is best for you; jealousy is a vicious characteristic.

Remember this: “You are the expert on you and even if you don’t know something, nobody can know what’s best for you better than you. So start trusting your gut instincts more and listen to other so-called experts less”.

“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm” (Joshua Miller)

Communicate it

In all we want to say but never do, in the things we say but don’t even mean, in the words lost for the emotions we don’t express, there is so much communication that fades between us.

Not everyone has the same way of externalising what they feel, think or even want to say.

But surely there must be a way of sending your message out to others.

Be it by humour – no matter how cold or inappropriate; body language, drawings, lyrics, or any other way, being able to express yourself is an integral necessity of our human nature, and ultimately our survival.

Because if we cannot even understand each other, how can we help each other become the better versions we are capable of?

Judges of character

© Dale Rogerson

You can tell a lot about a person from their library. What books they read. What worlds they delve into. What thoughts occupy their minds.

Like Robin Sharma said: “Ordinary people have big TVs. Extraordinary people have big libraries”.

Libraries are almost like your portrait; they reflect an image of yourself only few can see.

You can also tell a lot about a person from the pets they keep and the way they treat them. Animals are a great judge of character.

Combine the two, and you have a verdict, right there.

Happy pet and big library means special owner.

Also part of Friday Fictioneer

Level up

There is a belief that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. That’s why we need to choose those around us wisely. Because they affect the way we think, act, behave, live.

It’s interesting how when you cut yourself off from the toxic people in your life – those who did you more bad than good and who made you feel worse rather than better – you actually improve in every aspect. Once you withdraw from what is bringing you down, you level up.

This is often obvious from the way you behave, you talk, you walk, you hold yourself up, to the mood you radiate and the aura you emit.

One of the main and most fundamental reason of stress and the psychosomatic symptoms it causes is the fact that we are forced to associate ourselves with people we often don’t even like, let alone match with or share common perspectives, among others. The mere fact that we are doing something we detest is a cause of tension that we bring upon ourselves. Just imagine the strength of the contrary: engaging in something you love and are passionate about. Can you sense the difference?

We are responsible for the choices we make and the people around us, and can change this at any time.

And most significantly: when you can’t’ control what is happening, challenge yourself to control the way you react to it. The way you respond to external occurrences is where your strength lies. Rise up to it.

Snow Caps

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Four days after a historic snow blizzard that shook the city, Melissa was certain it was only a matter of time before people began to tumble on the ice.

After multiple near-misses, she slid and fell too. Fortunately, she wasn’t hurt – accustomed to falling ever so randomly.

That’s when she felt a gentle squeeze on her arm. “Are you OK?” Tall, slender, with glistening emerald eyes, Nick – as she would soon learn – was genuinely concerned. “May I offer you a hot chocolate to toss off the cold?

And somehow like that, each day becomes unique, fascinating, and seldom boring.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Daily snippets of motivation

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“Call”. It’s as simple as that. Call to tell someone they’re in your thoughts, you miss them, you’d like to meet up soon, you love them.

“Talk”. Say what’s on your mind. Not everyone can guess it. Show you’re interested. Others long to know that there are people out there who care.

“Say good day”. It costs nothing and it can make a whole morning or entire day for any person. One random act of kindness at a time can change the world. It all starts with the slightest of gestures.

“Smile more”. Don’t sulk. Not everything is horrible in this world. Just find those little things that make it all worthwhile. Be positive even if you’re forced to see the bright side. Things will shift eventually.

“Believe”. If you try with the perspective that it will all flourish, you’re one step closer to succeeding. Just have faith that it will work out.

“Hope”. Because when all is done and lost, this is what remains. You have nothing else to lose.

“Trust yourself”. Because if you don’t, no one else will.

You’re stronger than you think. Don’t let your mind – or those sneaky voices in your head – fool you.

You’ll know

https://medium.com/non-monogamy-help/feeling-valued-in-non-monogamy-ddad001eb67e

There is a sensation that overwhelms you the first time you lock eyes and you share a conversation. You know. It doesn’t take more than a few seconds – minutes top – but the feeling arrives. Or it doesn’t. You know.

With every person you meet, you can tell from the start if the continuation will be good, or at least worth pursuing. Be it out of simple curiosity, you might give it a chance. But the intuition is real and often it is much more aware of the situation you’re in than you yourself. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

Be it with friends you’ve grown out of sync with, or with potential flirts that have nothing more to offer than a few interesting initial conversations, your psychosomatic signs will make you understand when it’s time to move on and find others who might be more of an intellectual stimulation as well as a pleasant company.

As we mature, as we make our way through life, we acknowledge that there’s always much more to living than simply scraping the surface. You quickly tire of people who cannot hold an intriguing or interesting conversation with depth that has nothing to do with gossip or daily routines, but rather something genuinely attention-grabbing: things you read, or simply thoughts you catch as they fleet instantaneously from your mind and may be interesting to share. From the slightest silliness to the most bizarre thing you heard, anything out of the ordinary can actually be a measure of how much there is to discuss with anyone after all has been said and done.

We tend to seek more out of the people around us. Because if we ourselves are active and in constant search of a higher level in everything we do, we want to surround ourselves with like-minded, goal-oriented, perceptive people. We help each other grow, evolve, be better. That’s how (healthy) relationships work.

We encounter so many people in our lives. Some for a while, others come and go, and few remain. But each time, if you think back to that first happenstance, you feel it. You sort of know how important or not they’ll be.

There are people whom you keep forever and hope to hold on to. Because that feeling is mutual.

But there is an even stronger emotional bond to those who entered your life, disappeared for a while, but searched their way back in. It’s as if there is an invisible thread uniting your lives and drawing you back together wherever you’ve been. It’s those people you feel most comfortable with. It’s people like that we need but rarely find. Who ignite that special feeling. And you just know.

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