What are we left with in the end?

What are we left with when everything disappears? When we return to empty rooms from which people are missing? In the silence of our minds, what is the first thought that pops up?

How many truly dare to remain alone? To sit with our problems, with all the nasty scripts that our imagination plays in our heads, with our fears and concerns?

How many really have the courage to fight with our own selves and come out victorious? To convince us above all others that we are so much more than what we fear, than the very labels we place on ourselves? Perhaps it is valid that our worst enemy is our own self, and we thus often hardly desire to face them. We prefer to constantly occupy ourselves with something, with seasonal activities, with short-lived relations and activities that distract us even if only for a while.

But love and friendships come and go like the ebb and flow of tides. And we become used to it. To that lack of permanence, the absence of something with which to evolve, to change, to grow; to substantially experience every tiny or huge life moment with.

We end up convincing ourselves that we do not want much. Lest we feel pressured. Lest we become overwhelmed with too much information we cannot process. Lest we connect too deeply. Lest we feel.

We prefer to throw things out and replace them rather than fix them and enhance them.

We say we cannot manage any more. That we tried too much and grew weary. But that is not true. Because we simply want to avoid the inconvenience and challenge of getting out of that zone of complacency and comfort that we’ve created.

We live devoid of emotion and end up hardly living at all. Because we think that this is how we preserve ourselves, our personalities, and our ego.

But this is how we lose anything worth having. Anyone who could lift us up, help us develop as beings, and make us better.

We lose the game before we even play because we’re so afraid of what may happen if we do not win.

We’re too scared of getting attached that we end up alone despising our own loneliness.

If growth hurts, how are we to break our own bondage without exiting our comfort zone? Without loving, giving it all, hurting, breaking, fighting, fixing, and eventually holding on to everything that truly matters? Anything that makes us better. That which absorbs our thoughts in the morning and keeps us awake at night.

You can feel what really matters deep in your soul. It grips you.

That is how you know.

And that is what you are left with in the end.

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The pretty side

©Dale Rogerson

Pictures tell stories. That’s why we often take so many of them. Because we try to capture the sentiment of the moment with each click. The happiness, the wonder, the amazement, the company, the love.

Drawings demonstrate our inner feelings. What we usually hide even from ourselves. They’re an expression of what our mind does not speak. That’s why they are sometimes so abstract; they reflect the chaos in our hearts and heads.

Graffiti can be works of art too. They make even the ugliest of buildings seem beautiful. Because everything can have a pretty side if someone reveals it.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

If you can’t find Spring

“And if Spring arrives and it’s cloudy and drizzly?”

“‘If you can’t find spring, you make it’, as the great Greek poet Elytis said.”

“How?”

“One little step, one colourful thought, one bright action at a time.”

We often tend to make things more difficult than they are. We allow our imagination to override our rationale and we make mountains out of molehills, fearing the worst, instead of envisioning the best case scenarios.

If we control our mindsets, we may be able to spring up our daily lives too, one sunny day at a time.

The problem with dreams

We dream of escapes. We dream of travelling to places that look nothing like what we’re used to. We dream of changing it all even for a few hours or only days.

We dream a lot but perhaps live too little.

And that’s our problem.

We convince ourselves from infants that we can do anything; that we can dream big and achieve it all. But growing up we place so many constraints on ourselves. We keep waiting for the right time, the right place, the right circumstance, the right company, and we keep delaying the happiness of realising our imagined lives.

How different would everything be if we often acted on a whim, hoping for the best, instead of calculating everything that could go wrong?

How much lighter would our minds be if we cancelled all the thoughts and just ‘went for it’ once in a while?

How better could life be if instead of simply dreaming, we could live every moment, too?

Let things be

©Aska Bliss

There is a reason why they say that ignorance is bliss. Because if you are unaware of something, you won’t fret over it.

Often it is our own thoughts and the scenarios we draw up in our head that cause the greatest anxiety.

It is not by chance that the happiest people are those who concern themselves least of others, and of unpleasant situations. If we choose what we focus our energy on, we can filter out all the events that drain it too. This, also, is essentially a matter of choice and training your mind to be calm at all times. We can deal with a lot more than we think. And very often, we are strongest just when we think we are at our weakest point.

It’s not about ignoring everything around us. It’s rather about selecting what (and who) to engage with.

Sometimes the best thing you can do to retain your peace of mind is to just let things be, and let some go.

Remember

©MCD

Do you remember the thunder?
The glow of lightning when our eyes first met.
The sensation of forever engulfed us from the start.
You felt that too, you later said.

Do you remember the laughter?
The inside jokes only we could comprehend.
The funny little intimacies,
That were only ours and we alone shared.

Do you remember the adventures?
The outdoors we so loved to explore.
The long walks and talks,
On which we discovered one another even more.

Do you remember the sunsets?
Those tranquil moments of our own.
The golden hours,
When everything seemed so serene and aglow.

Do you remember the nights?
When I would cocoon into your embrace.
When I wanted more hugs and wouldn’t let you move away.
When you would unconsciously pull me sleepily into your arms again.

Do you remember all this?
Now that life took a different turn.
Can you endure the silence?
Of a ‘love you’ and ‘miss you’ that go unheard.
Will you act to change it?
When you know it’s what love like this deserves.

Forever alley

© Rowena Curtin

It was in that alley I realised I knew. And I told you too. When you asked me how I knew I loved you, I told you it was because I couldn’t remember what my life was like without you. Before you.

When you became a part of my world, you changed it intrinsically. I couldn’t recall what it was like without your long late-night calls, your random texts during the day to check up on me, our inside jokes, those silent looks that said everything, and so much more that made us ‘us’.

The alley’s name: “Rue de l’Éternité”.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Dinner is served

©Jennifer Pendergast

It was a dinner party I didn’t want to attend. But my friends pressed on. “Just put on a smile, as fake as it may be and come. At least you’ll eat well, it’s guaranteed,” they prompted.

I pushed myself to abide.

I had no expectations whatsoever.

And perhaps that was the best thing of all.

That was what made it so great.

Because he was there.

You don’t know it from the start, but all it takes is one person to change your life. To make you fall in love and to not remember how you lived without them.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Weaving fate

There is a French proverb that “you often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it”. There are numerous sayings about how you cannot outrun what is meant to find you.

They all stem from the concept of fate or destiny, or however else we name it.

In ancient Greek mythology, the Moirai (the “Fates”), were the personification of destiny. They were depicted as three sisters: Clotho (the spinner, weaving the thread of life); Lachesis (the allotter, the one distributing the ‘lots’/portions of the thread of life, and determining what each person would receive); and Atropos (the unturning, who cuts without the slightest hesitation, when the time comes, the thread of people’s lives). Their role was to ensure that every being, mortal or divine, lived out their destiny as assigned to them by the laws of the universe. For mortals, this destiny spanned their entire lives and was represented as a thread spun from a spindle.

The thread in the hands of the Moirai is human life; symbolizing how trivial and insignificant it eventually is, since it can be cut so easily like a thread.

Generally, the Moirai were considered to be above even the gods in their role as enforcers of fate, although in some representations, Zeus, the chief of the gods, is able to command them.

Their name derives from the Ancient Greek: μοῖρα, which means “lots, destinies, apportioners”. It also means a portion or lot of the whole. It is related to ‘meros’, “part, lot” and ‘moros’, “fate, doom” and they are seen as distributing portions of life among humanity.

The three Moirai are often seen as daughters of the primeval goddess Nyx (“night”), and sisters of Keres (“the black fates”), Thanatos (“death”) and Nemesis (“retribution”). Later they are depicted as daughters of Zeus and the Titaness Themis (“the Institutor”), who was the embodiment of divine order and law. Tychi (“Luck”)is sometimes presented as their fourth sister.

The concept of “moira” (fate) referred to one’s fair allotment or portion in life, which was distributed according to strict traditions. Obtaining more than one’s fair portion of life, in general, was possible, but would result in severe consequences because this was considered a violation of the natural order of things.  Perhaps this is what is meant by the idea that you don’t get in life more than you can handle; you just don’t know how strong you are until you’re forced to face a challenge.

What is ‘written’ for you will always find you. But you too can do something about it. You can seize the opportunities when they appear; you can create the conditions for them to reveal themselves; you can strive to become a better person every day; and soon, as you aim high, you will see your stars glimmer in the sky.

 “Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not.” – Ana Monnar

 “Fate is shaped half by expectation, half by inattention.” – Amy Tan

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” – Marcus Aurelius

The problem with time

There’s this recurrent saying that we all have the same 24 hours in a given day. If we want to do something we will find the time to do it. If not, it means it’s just not important enough, be it the completion of a task or communication with a person.

There are numerous seminars and charts and all sorts of things to help you organise your time better and manage your responsibilities and chores to fit everything into your schedule. Sure, for some this may be more arduous than for others. But in reality, there is but one simple truth: if you truly want to do something, you will find a way no matter what.

We complain about not having enough time because more often than not we need one (more) thing to simply moan about. It’s human nature. Nothing is ever enough. And we will always want more.

The insufficiency of time, however, does not justify squandering what we have of it. What if instead of lamenting, we exploited every second of the minutes and hours we have at our disposal? What if we joyously spent those moments doing things with a smile on our lovely faces? What if we filled those instances with memories we want to cherish?

Once the clock turns, it won’t turn back. It’s how things go.

But we only realise this when we’ve run out, fulfilling the cliché that you only acknowledge what you’ve had when it’s gone.

We postpone things for later or rest on the thought that we can do something or see someone some other day. At a later moment that may never arrive.

The problem is we think we have time.