If you can’t find Spring

“And if Spring arrives and it’s cloudy and drizzly?”

“‘If you can’t find spring, you make it’, as the great Greek poet Elytis said.”

“How?”

“One little step, one colourful thought, one bright action at a time.”

We often tend to make things more difficult than they are. We allow our imagination to override our rationale and we make mountains out of molehills, fearing the worst, instead of envisioning the best case scenarios.

If we control our mindsets, we may be able to spring up our daily lives too, one sunny day at a time.

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Where you’re going

Do you know why you stumble so much? Because you’re not looking to the road ahead; instead, you’re eyeing all the obstacles you’re trying to avoid.

It’s simple: Look where you’re going because you will inevitably go where you are looking.

Choose your perspective carefully.

This goes for everything in life: from the job you’re trying to do without mistakes, to the words you want to write, to the goals you set for your future.

We evolve by focusing on what we want and where we want to be, not on what we don’t want. You can’t stop your mind from not thinking about something. It doesn’t work that way. But we can turn that negative into something positive. Instead consider what you do want to focus your energy, time, and motivation on.

When you start becoming a better version of yourself, you’ll see that the world will also appear to become better, brighter, and more beautiful.

There is no try

“But what if I try and fail?”

“Well, that’s better than if you’ve never tried at all.” She laughed and her smile spread wide across her face.

“The only way you’ll change something is if you take the risk and do something you’ve never done before.

Keep in mind that sometimes, to go from a bad place to a better place we need to go through a worse place. It’s a paradox, but see it as a necessary evil. If you don’t fall flat on your face, you won’t know what it feels like if you fail. Once you learn that, you’ll be more determined to succeed and…well, fly! Make sense?”

He was timid. But perhaps that was the problem to begin with. He hadn’t developed enough confidence to cope with this world. Often, we need to suffer, to crash and fall, in order to get up stronger, wiser and more stubborn to make things work.

There is no try; just do.

The problem with time

There’s this recurrent saying that we all have the same 24 hours in a given day. If we want to do something we will find the time to do it. If not, it means it’s just not important enough, be it the completion of a task or communication with a person.

There are numerous seminars and charts and all sorts of things to help you organise your time better and manage your responsibilities and chores to fit everything into your schedule. Sure, for some this may be more arduous than for others. But in reality, there is but one simple truth: if you truly want to do something, you will find a way no matter what.

We complain about not having enough time because more often than not we need one (more) thing to simply moan about. It’s human nature. Nothing is ever enough. And we will always want more.

The insufficiency of time, however, does not justify squandering what we have of it. What if instead of lamenting, we exploited every second of the minutes and hours we have at our disposal? What if we joyously spent those moments doing things with a smile on our lovely faces? What if we filled those instances with memories we want to cherish?

Once the clock turns, it won’t turn back. It’s how things go.

But we only realise this when we’ve run out, fulfilling the cliché that you only acknowledge what you’ve had when it’s gone.

We postpone things for later or rest on the thought that we can do something or see someone some other day. At a later moment that may never arrive.

The problem is we think we have time.

High walls

©Lisa Fox

The problem with setting boundaries and lifting up walls is that people will get upset when you finally do. Some conveniently exploit your inability to often say ‘no’ and it startles them once you do. When you begin to demand more, you’ll meet resistance. We seek more because we give out more too. But fairness in this world doesn’t work that way. And it’s something we learn in pain.

We build walls to protect ourselves. Our values and our own well-being. And those who see that, who love us regardless, will climb them up or surpass them to find us.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

The illusion of control

Have you noticed how silent the world falls when it snows? There is a mesmerising silence as you look up at the foggy sky and revel in each of the magically crafted flakes of snow that gently land on your face.

As everything turns white, the world goes quiet. In places where it doesn’t snow often, this becomes all the more obvious. Because everything just suddenly stops functioning. The entire state paralyses because the city has been covered with a white blanket of frozen ice. Screeching, terrifying messages are sent alerting citizens to avoid movement as if there is a lethal peril out there. But when it starts to snow again, nothing really matters. Everything we think we can control is out of our reach. It is just an illusion that we can control so many of the external factors that affect our lives. Because the weather and its consequences are one thing we can do nothing about. We just wait for the whatever-named-hailstorm to pass, so we can continue our chaotic lives.

Snow is a chance to stop. To stop and marvel at how wonderful even the simplest and smallest of things can be. Look at how delicately and elegantly a snowflake is designed right before it falls to the ground and melts. Look at how every single thing you view daily (but never really notice on your hasty way to work or wherever your routine takes you) transforms simply because it is covered in white.

Sure, snow causes trouble too. But let’s stick to the positive here.

Listen. Listen to that beautiful silence as the world surrenders to these tiny flakes of ice. Just stop and take it all in, with all senses. And be grateful for all that we have but constantly want more.

Serenity aflame

©MCD

Tell me something. When you retreat into a peaceful cabin in the woods do you expect to be hassled by electric drills just when you’ve reached your zen moment? Do you not anticipate finding peace and quiet in the solitude away from everything and everyone? Do you really meditate with one eye open worrying about what will disturb that serenity?

No, right?

So why do we allow distractions to constantly mess with our minds? Any form of distractions.

It’s so easy nowadays to let things get to our heads. We take everything personally and we more often than not regret the things we did do rather than what we didn’t. We repent the moment we spoke out instead of saying nothing; that instance we opened our heart to a person we trust in the hope that it would bring us closer; all those things that you spent hours wondering whether to share or not and you eventually did. But we remorse the action because it didn’t have the desired effect; in some cases, even the opposite, causing a rift for no particular reason.

We are caught in an incessant loop of overthinking, overanalysing, and realising self-fulfilling prophecies. We experience the things we fear because we’re unconsciously searching for something to go wrong, somewhere to place the blame. We’ve convinced ourselves that when things are too good to be true, they usually are, and we’re continuously probing for that hitch that would set our peace aflame.

If we would just get out of our heads and simply accept things as they are – as smooth and calm as they may be at times; not every situation must have a problem to solve – we would all be so much better off.

The truth is, if you can’t commit exclusively and wholeheartedly to something, you’ll never seriously make it happen. Not even your own peace.

It’s as simple as that.

How to climb a mountain

Teo was adamant. “Take one hour a day and do nothing. Because even when you’re doing nothing, you’re actually doing something for yourself.”

“Relax. At least try. Turn off all screens. Put on some music. Go for a walk. Breathe. Clear your mind. Let all those thoughts out. Tell them to someone, and if you can’t speak them, write them down. Just get them out of your system. It will alleviate the burden you carry.”

“Just live every moment as it comes. We don’t need to worry about what may or may not happen all the time. Enjoy now. It’s all we have. ‘The future is composed of nows’, remember?”.

“Accept things for what they are. It is what it is. The less resistance you pose against reality, the less pain you’ll experience, and the lighter and more carefree you’ll feel.”

“So, what did we say: How do you climb a mountain? One step at a time.”

“Just breathe. It’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to. The universe knows where it’s directing you. It’ll be better than you expected. And it will help you evolve. You’ll become better too. It’s certain.”

The only way is up

©MCD

There is a wonderful quote by Soren Kierkegaard that often comes to mind in tumultuous times: “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards”. We thus need to learn from the past but keep moving.

At times of emotional charge, we tend to think that we’re constantly running into our past no matter how much we try to avoid it. We see hurtful behaviours repeating, and we’re drawn into the same vicious pattern of not understanding what isn’t functioning as it should or as it so promisingly appeared to at the start.

When we’re faced with new opportunities, we want a refreshing start. We feel that there is so much out there to discover and it is revitalising when someone acknowledges your value (sometimes even more than you) and is offering you the chance to expand your potential.

The key is to not give up even when you feel you’ve hit rock bottom. There is only one way left after that, and that is up.

Whom you share good news with is a sign of whom you consider family. It’s the same people who will console you and help you pick up your pieces when you’re too exhausted too. Those people who despite their own troubles will be happy for you in your success and support you regardless. We want that cheering crowd for us. It helps us move forward.

Not stopping is what will help us survive, after all. And let’s remember, “every action you take is a vote for the person you wish to become” (James Clear), so make your habits regular actions of excellence that will only serve to raise your value.

Kings or Pawns

It was Napoleon who said that “in this life we are either kings or pawns; emperors or fouls.” He was right, you know.

You either choose to react to anything you don’t agree with in this world and be named a rebel, or you remain a victim (and accomplice) to it.

Take so many instances of daily life: that job you’re expected to do asap – meaning yesterday – and you’re constantly pressed for time, but when you’re anticipating a reply, the other party takes all the time in the world. That ‘urgent’ matter that in reality is of minor importance yet is presented as a life-changing event for which you must stop everything else to address.

Those bills you’re called to pay for which you are often given no justification but which you are obliged to in every way and are threatened with fines if you don’t.

And the worst of all is that argument that “that’s what everyone does”, or “that’s how it is”, or even more, “that’s how it’s always been”.

Just think of flies: millions of them are attracted to crap, but that doesn’t mean this would be delicious for you too.

Remember: Just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s right. And just because no one is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

So why not alter things?

Just because something has been done for so long in a certain way doesn’t necessarily mean it is the right way, or that there is no better mode to achieve the desired end. But if you don’t try to differentiate, you’ll never know. You won’t find something else – something potentially better – if you don’t take a different path.

But it is essentially your choice. Because every change begins with a vision and a decision to take action. And change begins at the end of your comfort zone. Growth and evolution occur the minute you decide to break that conventional / traditional cycle.

You will decide who you want to be and how you want to react in this world. Chin up or head down. The choice is yours.