MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “life decisions”

The bleeding of a pen

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People who write share a secret. They know how to view the world in different lenses. They think too much, overanalyse, create scenarios that may hardly correspond to reality, and feel too deeply. They have a vivid and often wild imagination. But often, that is exactly what helps them survive.

The best part about meeting other authors, is that you realise you are not alone in your weirdness. Authors are exquisite people. They shine a light on aspects you never thought of before someone pointed them out to you.

They are the ones who put words on a page, coherent ones, linked together and invite you to form the images in your head. Every book is just that. But every reader has a different playout created in their mind. And that is precisely the magic a pen can fashion.

Writers are not as competitive as people of other professions are. They will urge you to write. They will inspire you. To believe that you can do it; that you can accomplish whatever you imagine. Because they know what it feels like to sit alone in front of a screen, fighting with and for words. They have gone through the anguish of trying to promote their work for the masterpiece they believe it is. They have faced their demons of fear, of not being good enough. And they understand. They know that you need to write something first to come to believe that you can actually achieve your goals.

The best thing about meeting a writer is that you gain an insight on why and how they write. Sometimes the reason is the simple fact that they were bored and wrote a book. Other times it is because they wanted to say something. They want to make readers think, to enter a world that is unknown; to escape a reality that is sometimes better than we imagine if only we see it in a positive light. But every writer wants something they never admit: to make the reader feel they are not alone.

A book is the best company you can have. Because it opens up worlds you never knew existed and expands your mind more than anything else ever can.

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Cat-like

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Women are like cats. They like attention but not too much and on their terms, are independent and self-sustainable, move around a room like they own it, like to sleep as much as possible, like to cuddle but only when they want to, and can disappear for hours doing their own thing with no-one really knowing what that is.

Women are like cats in that they can claw their way out of a fight, just as easily as they can start one.

But most of all, they are like cats in the sense that they can reciprocate the love you show them and be the source of your serenity.

Charity was the most cat-like girl Jessop had ever met. He could almost swear to hear her purr when she fell asleep in his arms. She fought for her autonomy and demonstrated that she could handle her affairs on her own. But every now and again she would crawl to his side and press into his chest for a tight hug, something that would make all the troubles she didn’t share just go away.

Jessop liked that she was dynamic and feisty. But he loved it more when she became the vulnerable, chirpy girl he fell in love with. After all, every man adores being the protector of his girl.

But over the past weeks, something happened. It was as if the cat inside her curled up and hid from the world. She wouldn’t talk much, her smile had faded and she barely ate. She wouldn’t respond to his questions, even getting agitated by them and would retreat to her bed, sleeping more than the usual hours.

One morning, Jessop woke up to find a note on his bedstand:

If I show you I need you, take it seriously. It means more than just the words you understand. I do whatever I can to never have to depend on anyone, to avoid showing weakness and fear. But if I tell you I need you by my side, it means I am trusting you to catch me when I fall”.

The note was stained with droplets of tears.

Jessop sprung out of bed, got dressed and left.

He knew where she was. Cats always have a safe place. Somewhere they think no-one knows about, but if you follow them closely they’ll let you find them.

A radical flee

©Susan Eames

He just got up one morning and left.

It’s not something you usually do without intensive planning or careful thought. But sometimes it’s what you need.

It’s when you disappear or something serious happens that you realise the true nature of the people around you, who cares for you and who are worthy of being a part of your life.

Ivan was so fed up with the futility and hypocrisy of his surroundings, he had to act radically.

Then the phone rang.

Where are you?” the female voice sounded concerned.

On a tree, gazing at the ocean,” he replied serene.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Empty pockets and full hearts

There is a saying that being rich is not about the material things you have, but the wealth you store inside – the things that enrich your mind and spirit. As such, the more we have inside, the less we need on the outside.

In his beautiful and very inspiring book “The Richest Man of the World”, Rafael Vídac states that most of the problems in this world come from people with full pockets and empty hearts. For this reason, he has written what is described as “a complete map to follow for anyone who needs a profound change in his life” (Diana Zuluaga). He prompts readers to take steps to enrich their internal wealth, which will help in transforming them into a more dynamic person by expanding their mind.

In a page-turning story that grips you from the start, the author notes that all people go through periods of personal crisis. And these consist of five stages:

  1. Ignorance – not acknowledging why you feel terrible
  2. Wandering – accepting you feel bad but not knowing what you want
  3. Utopia – you know what you want but don’t know how to achieve it
  4. Paralysis – you know what you want and the steps to take to realise it, but you are still incapable of taking action and this causes pain and disappointment. It is scary to take hold of the realms of your life.
  5. Resistances – you are able to move into action and pursue your goals, but for some reason you are unable to succeed.

At the same time, however, we are taught that there are three “laws” worth taking into account during periods of crisis:

  1. No one regardless is forced to endure a difficulty that they are not capable of overcoming.
  2. Every pain and effort is always rewarded and at the right time.
  3. The truly important things that happen to us do so on a wise purpose that we will understand sooner or later.

“Try to believe and life will prove to you that no matter what, it will support you,” Vídac states, stressing that “life will show you the path you need to follow.”

He makes the reader open his/her eyes to things we are too busy to see. Or the ones we don’t want to.

For example:

  • Material things are only the shell covering people’s feelings and thoughts.
  • We tend to substitute insecurities with the need to have control.
  • Control is a useful tool on condition that you do not allow it to govern you. It is impossible to control everything in life.
  • You need to learn how to take steps in the dark – if you can move without any prior information, you will sharpen your senses to move on the ground on which you tread.

In this amazing and very motivating book, the reader is forced to think, to ponder on where s/he focuses their energy on a daily basis and what needs to change for a better life.

Here are some of the best messages from this must-read book:

  • Our body needs vitality. The next step in achieving internal wealth is to correctly manage unpleasant emotions. When such feelings have been supressed for too long they become toxins that poison our bodies and distort the way we view the world around us.
  • The problem does not lie with the unpleasant emotions per se, but in our inability to appropriately manage them. For that reason, we don’t need to eradicate them but to harness them.
  • It is easy to feel angry. But few know how to appropriately manage this feeling. Anger when suppressed for a long time results in bitterness. Sorrow may turn into depression and fear into a pathological insecurity against any situation.
  • The real target is not the target itself, but the person who you wish to become. The aim is for you to transform into someone who is ready to accept what s/he desires. The way you deal with circumstances must be that of a person who was already conquered his/her goals. Start to believe that you have that something you want. From that moment, you create it, by believing in it (Law of attraction).
  • Never underestimate the impact of the true meaning of words. We don’t “chase” our dreams – the phrase insinuates running after something that constantly evades us.
  • Possessing the necessary internal wealth allows you to hold the necessary energy and have a mind capable of concentrating.
  • What we call ‘luck’ is only the final consequence of all our past actions. What you do alone does not determine your luck, but also what you feel and what you think.
  • Our stance – as per our emotional or mental actions – also has a great role to play in implementing our goals. You need to believe strongly in what you want to achieve, but also be able to distance yourself from the result, whatever that may be – to accept any outcome.
  • Our perceptions are packages of brain information that operate autonomously and affect our way of perceiving the world.
  • No one knows you better than your own mind and that is why no one is more enticing when it wants to convince you about something.
  • Focus your mind on what is happening at that moment and not on the disappointments that may never come. Worry is a mental creation born out of fear
  • The person who becomes obsessed with what he is looking for cannot appreciate what he already has.
  • At times, life destroys in the most painful way what matters most to us, but that only happens when we are ready to succeed in something better.
  • The only limits that exist are the ones we ourselves impose.
  • A flame does not stop shining because of the darkness that surrounds it.
  • We should wonder if what exists in our life is what we truly want or what we fear to change.
  • All of us, and each one separately, can transform into something wonderful, someone brilliant. There is no better time than now.

The signs we choose not to see

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In everyday life we are surrounded by all sorts of signs. Not only literally, but metaphorically too. In most life-changing decisions we take, we unconsciously look for signs to reveal to us we are on the right path, or to help us choose which route to take, what move to make.

However, no matter how many signs are thrown our way, we usually only see what we want to see. Often we ignore even the warning signs that things are not going well, the ones that serve as precautions, as awakenings trying to draw our attention to something, calling us to change.

We choose to ignore the signs that try to help us because we don’t want to see them at that moment. We want to believe in something different and we refuse to accept that sometimes things don’t always turn out the way we hoped or planned.

That is until one sign hits us hard like a slap in the face and we are forced to see what we’ve been pushing aside for so long. It’s a sign we can no longer ignore, revealing that a cycle has been closed and we need to find the courage to close the door to it and move on.

 It’s only when we’re ready to see the signs that we accept their presence. We just have to be brave enough to let them guide us, but not dictate our next moves.

Overcoming hurdles

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They asked him at his first press conference following his Olympic Gold why he became a hurdle runner. He simply replied with a story: “when I was young, my father wanted to make me strong, to imbue in my head that life would be difficult at times, that hurdles and obstacles would be thrown my way. People would tell me that I couldn’t surpass them. That I was not good enough. But I should not believe them. I should do my best and jump over all of them. When I first saw track events, I felt an instant connection with the hurdles. Perhaps because I took my father’s words literally at the time,” he laughed. So did the reporters.

But a small girl did not. She raised her hand to ask another question. “Does jumping these hurdles make those in real life disappear?

The room fell silent. The athlete was dumbfounded. It was perhaps the most difficult question he ever had to answer.

To be honest, no,” he said. “The hurdles in real life never truly disappear. But jumping these hurdles on the track has given me the determination, the strength, the discipline, and the courage needed to be able to surpass life’s obstacles. I think I have been quite successful in life so far. But the key is never to give up. And never believe that you are not good enough or are not worth everything you dream of”.

The girl smiled and her cheeks turned rosy. The athlete had just made his impact on her. And that was enough.

“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere” – Frank A. Clark

Second chances

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If life gave you a second chance, would you take it? Would you choose a different path? Would you do things differently? Would you take an alternate life course?

Sometimes destiny throws back something from our past to make us rethink everything. Not so much to despair or regret about the path we took, but rather to acknowledge how far we’ve actually come. How many things have happened since then, how much we’ve achieved and how much more we can accomplish because of all those experiences.

We are given a chance to review our lives in order to regain our lost confidence. To realise that we are worth and capable of much more than we give ourselves credit for. Something we usually only understand if we view ourselves from someone else’s point of view.

We chose the course we did for a reason. Perhaps it was not obvious then, perhaps it is not obvious not even now. But there is one. We become stronger from what we go through, what we are called to deal with, the difficulties, the challenges, the fights. Our successes also arise from our failures.

So, in reality, we should live a life not regretting of the past but being grateful that we managed to survive everything that was thrown our way.

We are not supposed to start over, even if given the chance. Because we are not supposed to quit in the first place.

Prejudiced thieves

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Even for days before, Emma was suffering a panic attack. At the thought alone of what was to come, her breathing became faster, her stomach felt tied in a knot and she had an unbearable pain pounding on her chest. Her head felt almost too much to carry on her shoulders, and she was very often dizzy.

Stress was a bad companion.

More so when it was accompanied by prejudices.

We all carry them with us. Our own perspectives and beliefs on how things will be. They are shaped by past experiences, our mentality, our notions of reality, of what we’ve already seen and felt. We have an apt for predicting the future, for irrationally wanting it to pan out the way it’s forecast in our heads, so that we can pat ourselves on the back later on and confirm our worst fears, telling ourselves we were right. It is one of the paradoxes of human nature. Of wishing things don’t turn out to be the prejudice we have in mind, but of deeply hoping they do so we can verify ourselves.

The day before the event, Emma broke down. She couldn’t concentrate enough to do anything. The thoughts in her mind were too much to bear. She could almost hear a cacophony of voices trying to persuade her that whatever can go wrong will.

Jonathan found her on the couch, curled up as if willing the world to go away.

He touched her shoulder and she sprung upright, the tension having made her uptight.

You wouldn’t invite a thief into your house, so why do you allow thoughts in your head that steal your joy?” he asked.

If your prejudiced things will go wrong, and you adopt a negative attitude because of it, then things are bound to turn into what you fear. If it is true that we attract what we believe and feel, it is all the more important to maintain an open-mind and a positive attitude. Life may surprise us in the end.

The option of retaliation

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The wind howled waking her up almost constantly. It was hard to sleep soundly when you were constantly worried that your entire house would be blown down. For a person already overcome by anxiety and stress, this was almost too much to bear.

The morning began with rain in addition to the gale. It was ice cold outside.

She had promised to meet him at their usual café. She was comforted by the fact that it was almost certain the fireplace would be on today.

He was already waiting for her when she arrived. But, following the gentleman’s rulebook, he hadn’t ordered yet.

He smiled widely upon laying eyes on her. His whole face brightened immediately, bringing out the sun in an otherwise freezing day. She was still reserved. It wasn’t easy to let things go so abruptly. To forget. Overthinkers have this disadvantage. They remember everything. Especially the bad things.

He reached out to grab her hand but she pulled back using the cold as an excuse.

He was seeking another chance. A fresh start. A new beginning. Hope.

In her head, a million things were gushing through. Thoughts of retaliation, of payback, of making him experience the same, of handing him too the same absolute demands and the ultimatum he so carelessly gave her back then. She could feel the anger steaming up inside her. Her head suddenly felt all too hot and it wasn’t because of the fireplace.

She took a deep breath, trying to quieten down the yelling inside of her.

It wouldn’t lead anywhere. She tried to console herself. If she acted in the same way, if she wronged him as he had once done to her, there was no point in even trying to be there together.  Ghandi had said “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”. He was right. There is a reason why one person must always maintain a superior level. Because if you too retaliate in the same way, you are no better in the end. Perhaps you’re even worse, because you knew of an alternative way and did not take it.

Bombarding thoughts

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There comes a moment in the day when you finally sit down for a few minutes. It’s that incident when you can feel all your thoughts rushing right back into your head. Everything you’ve been trying to avoid contact with by keeping yourself busy with other things. Until that very moment.

You take a deep breath. Close your eyes and try to block everything out. But you can’t. Because at some point or other, you will have to face them. Those thoughts you so dexterously try to avoid.

They bombard your head, asking questions about how you’ll fare through with your finances; about the uncertainties that surround your life; your job; your relationship; your career; your future. You feel a cloud settling over your head and a migraine imminent. Your pulse begins to race and a panic attack ensues.

All you wish for at that moment is a furry pal to come jump on your lap and purr soothingly.

Or at least someone to come over and wrap you up in a tight hug that will expel all the torturous thoughts from your head.

You need quiet. Calm. To think clearly, you need an orderly head, tidy surroundings and a positive attitude.

Because everything will be alright eventually. Despite the patience you don’t think you have right now. It won’t be the end unless things are OK. Just remember that.

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