There is no try

“But what if I try and fail?”

“Well, that’s better than if you’ve never tried at all.” She laughed and her smile spread wide across her face.

“The only way you’ll change something is if you take the risk and do something you’ve never done before.

Keep in mind that sometimes, to go from a bad place to a better place we need to go through a worse place. It’s a paradox, but see it as a necessary evil. If you don’t fall flat on your face, you won’t know what it feels like if you fail. Once you learn that, you’ll be more determined to succeed and…well, fly! Make sense?”

He was timid. But perhaps that was the problem to begin with. He hadn’t developed enough confidence to cope with this world. Often, we need to suffer, to crash and fall, in order to get up stronger, wiser and more stubborn to make things work.

There is no try; just do.

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Forever alley

© Rowena Curtin

It was in that alley I realised I knew. And I told you too. When you asked me how I knew I loved you, I told you it was because I couldn’t remember what my life was like without you. Before you.

When you became a part of my world, you changed it intrinsically. I couldn’t recall what it was like without your long late-night calls, your random texts during the day to check up on me, our inside jokes, those silent looks that said everything, and so much more that made us ‘us’.

The alley’s name: “Rue de l’Éternité”.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Walk with me

©MCD

“Walk with me.”

It sounded ominous, but it wasn’t. It was a pure request, almost like a plead. She loved walking by the sea and in the mountains; it helped clear her mind. And it was a chance to bond with him. He would ramble on about his ongoing projects, his thoughts, aims, and future plans, and she would listen, offer some ideas, and often her perceptions too. It was relaxing because, in those couple of hours of just placing one foot before the other and moving forward, they would simultaneously escape reality and engage in their own one.

But for days now, even this habit was forlorn.

He “didn’t have time for it”, he said. But she knew that was nonsense. We always have time to do what we truly want. It’s not time he didn’t have, it was the desire. And that is what saddened her the most.

We all have our own perspectives on even the simplest of things. Going for a walk, for some, is a way of coming closer together. For others, it is a mere form of exercise.

She would walk regardless of the company, however. She would listen to music or podcasts and allow her mind to wander away in the clean air, among the trees, high up in the sky; to drift away, get lost in a myriad of thoughts, give birth to new ideas, renew optimism, and return stronger and more prepared to face everyday life.

Walking was a remedy for the challenges that perplex us.

Try it: take in some fresh air, breathe deeply, and just…walk.

Weaving fate

There is a French proverb that “you often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it”. There are numerous sayings about how you cannot outrun what is meant to find you.

They all stem from the concept of fate or destiny, or however else we name it.

In ancient Greek mythology, the Moirai (the “Fates”), were the personification of destiny. They were depicted as three sisters: Clotho (the spinner, weaving the thread of life); Lachesis (the allotter, the one distributing the ‘lots’/portions of the thread of life, and determining what each person would receive); and Atropos (the unturning, who cuts without the slightest hesitation, when the time comes, the thread of people’s lives). Their role was to ensure that every being, mortal or divine, lived out their destiny as assigned to them by the laws of the universe. For mortals, this destiny spanned their entire lives and was represented as a thread spun from a spindle.

The thread in the hands of the Moirai is human life; symbolizing how trivial and insignificant it eventually is, since it can be cut so easily like a thread.

Generally, the Moirai were considered to be above even the gods in their role as enforcers of fate, although in some representations, Zeus, the chief of the gods, is able to command them.

Their name derives from the Ancient Greek: μοῖρα, which means “lots, destinies, apportioners”. It also means a portion or lot of the whole. It is related to ‘meros’, “part, lot” and ‘moros’, “fate, doom” and they are seen as distributing portions of life among humanity.

The three Moirai are often seen as daughters of the primeval goddess Nyx (“night”), and sisters of Keres (“the black fates”), Thanatos (“death”) and Nemesis (“retribution”). Later they are depicted as daughters of Zeus and the Titaness Themis (“the Institutor”), who was the embodiment of divine order and law. Tychi (“Luck”)is sometimes presented as their fourth sister.

The concept of “moira” (fate) referred to one’s fair allotment or portion in life, which was distributed according to strict traditions. Obtaining more than one’s fair portion of life, in general, was possible, but would result in severe consequences because this was considered a violation of the natural order of things.  Perhaps this is what is meant by the idea that you don’t get in life more than you can handle; you just don’t know how strong you are until you’re forced to face a challenge.

What is ‘written’ for you will always find you. But you too can do something about it. You can seize the opportunities when they appear; you can create the conditions for them to reveal themselves; you can strive to become a better person every day; and soon, as you aim high, you will see your stars glimmer in the sky.

 “Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not.” – Ana Monnar

 “Fate is shaped half by expectation, half by inattention.” – Amy Tan

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” – Marcus Aurelius

The problem with time

There’s this recurrent saying that we all have the same 24 hours in a given day. If we want to do something we will find the time to do it. If not, it means it’s just not important enough, be it the completion of a task or communication with a person.

There are numerous seminars and charts and all sorts of things to help you organise your time better and manage your responsibilities and chores to fit everything into your schedule. Sure, for some this may be more arduous than for others. But in reality, there is but one simple truth: if you truly want to do something, you will find a way no matter what.

We complain about not having enough time because more often than not we need one (more) thing to simply moan about. It’s human nature. Nothing is ever enough. And we will always want more.

The insufficiency of time, however, does not justify squandering what we have of it. What if instead of lamenting, we exploited every second of the minutes and hours we have at our disposal? What if we joyously spent those moments doing things with a smile on our lovely faces? What if we filled those instances with memories we want to cherish?

Once the clock turns, it won’t turn back. It’s how things go.

But we only realise this when we’ve run out, fulfilling the cliché that you only acknowledge what you’ve had when it’s gone.

We postpone things for later or rest on the thought that we can do something or see someone some other day. At a later moment that may never arrive.

The problem is we think we have time.

Vintage talk

©MCD

“What’s this?” a little girl with chestnut pigtails inquisitively asked as her gaze fell eye level on a small table with an antique phone displayed on it.

“Well, that is a telephone,” her grandmother explained. “It is what we used to call each other at home before we had mobile phones.”

The young one looked perplexed.

“How?” she asked.

“You would pick up the receiver, place it by your ear and mouth, and then dial the number you wanted to call by using this,” the older woman demonstrated.

The little girl seemed amazed.

“Back then, when you didn’t want to speak to someone, you just told someone else to say you weren’t home. Now, with these phones constantly strapped to our hands, the first thing anyone asks when they call is not if you’re OK, but rather ‘where are you’?”, the woman ranted on a bit.

“Life was simpler then. And quieter too”.

View from the top

©MCD

It was a beautiful sunny day. A refreshing break from the winter mornings that had preceded it. It was as if nature had awakened in full glory with all its senses. It was a great day for a mountain trek.

They were alone, but that didn’t matter at all apart from a few safety risks.

As the best way to discover new places – and a new part of yourself – is to go on paths you’ve never gone before, they decided to take a turn they’d never seen. They were bound to discover something new; an unforgettable trekking experience.

The path was at times narrow and covered with bushes, at others steep and rocky, uphill and slippery, or straight and smooth. Like life itself, it was not a straight line ahead nor was it easy.

But the best views are indeed found at the top, and despite the difficult trajectory and the tiredness that ensued, they were compensated by the most beautiful panoramic views of a city that had much to offer if only you allowed it to.

We’ll only move forward in every way if we finally take that first step. And just keep going. It will all be worth it. Eventually.

High walls

©Lisa Fox

The problem with setting boundaries and lifting up walls is that people will get upset when you finally do. Some conveniently exploit your inability to often say ‘no’ and it startles them once you do. When you begin to demand more, you’ll meet resistance. We seek more because we give out more too. But fairness in this world doesn’t work that way. And it’s something we learn in pain.

We build walls to protect ourselves. Our values and our own well-being. And those who see that, who love us regardless, will climb them up or surpass them to find us.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Mean Girls

Men don’t understand women in many things, one of them also being how they can be so mean to each other, even among friends. While the former keep things simple and don’t bother about (what to them seem as) trivial stuff, the latter do the exact opposite.

Let’s face it; it’s a truth: women are mean. To each other more often than not. Even among friends, no woman can hide her jealousy/envy for the success of another, be it work or social life.

And it all starts young. Girls at school are abysmal for lack of another word. The movie Mean Girls was not all fictional; it was based on real life. The worst bullies are females. Women think that if they bring another down, if they degrade, undermine, and make them feel inferior, they will rise up instead. But it doesn’t work that way.

Women are constantly trying to find a flaw in another. They say demeaning things to each other – even as a joke – and when it comes to male friends, they assume the role of the evil mother-in-law with no other woman ever being ‘good enough’ for them. They criticise with the ease they utter words out of fear they will lose their ranking among their clan.

It’s a general trait this, perhaps most evident among female groups: we think that if we impose our deemed superiority over others, we’ll dominate.

We judge because we’re insecure and we’re insecure because we judge.

Read that again. Because it all comes down to that simple fact.

Women have many positives too, don’t get me wrong, belonging to the gender myself, we do have our brilliant sides too. It usually depends what you awaken in one. Some of us are lucky to have found a couple of women we call sisters, who don’t give out all that negativity mentioned above. Perhaps if we were all more grateful for that and took better care of each other, we would instead, rise together. And we would all be much better off for it.

It’s all in the eyes

When someone is passionate about what they are talking about, when they really feel it to their bones and you can sense that enthusiasm oozing out of their every being, you can also see it in their eyes.

Notice it next time someone is telling you about something that incites them.

If they truly embrace what they’re talking about, their eyes will glimmer. You will witness their body movements alter as if to transmit to you that excitement they’re feeling.

You can tell a lot by looking into someone’s eyes.

It’s not just the profoundness of their soul that is depicted there; it’s also the sensitivity of their character.

People’s eyes well up when they’re discussing something sensitive or moving, something deeply personal that reaches in and touches every intimate chord.

The eyes get bigger and flare up when you’re angry and irritated about something and tempers rise.

But they also soften and can emit compassion when you’re listening with empathy to a person you love.

Try it. Just sit and watch people as they behave in their day-to-day lives. Shyness is indicated by the tendency to avoid eye contact. Anxiety by the opposite – rapid eye movements all over the place. Sadness by the fact that the gaze is constantly downwards. Hope by the wandering of the sight beyond what is visible. And admiration by the way the eyes light up when faced with a loved one.

At speeches of inspiring people, look around for a while. Observe how people listen. How they hang onto each word. Or how they boringly stare at their phones instead.

At weddings, witness the love that is radiated from the smiling eyes of the groom as the bride walks up to the altar, and in the emotional sight of the bride as she caresses her new husband.

Love comes in so many forms, but its purest is in what the eyes betray.

It’s all in the eyes. They never lie.