Sweet hope

You know that tingling sensation you get when you’re waiting for something? That excitement of positive anticipation? The adrenaline rush, the inexplicable happiness, the smiling you just can’t justify?

It’s not so much the expectation… it’s rather the hope.

The carefree optimism that what will come will be awesome; it will be all you imagine and even better, because – well, heck – you deserve it! And after so many things going bad, we deserve something going so wonderfully right.

It’s the hope that enlivens us.

That innate desire for the wheels to turn our way this time. To be able to experience something in reality that is so much more than we could dream of. That even small one thing that will justify why nothing else happened as you desired or planned. The reason why things happen as they do. That loveliness that brings back the sunshine to your rainy days. Because it could happen. It often does. So why not to us too?

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What are we left with in the end?

What are we left with when everything disappears? When we return to empty rooms from which people are missing? In the silence of our minds, what is the first thought that pops up?

How many truly dare to remain alone? To sit with our problems, with all the nasty scripts that our imagination plays in our heads, with our fears and concerns?

How many really have the courage to fight with our own selves and come out victorious? To convince us above all others that we are so much more than what we fear, than the very labels we place on ourselves? Perhaps it is valid that our worst enemy is our own self, and we thus often hardly desire to face them. We prefer to constantly occupy ourselves with something, with seasonal activities, with short-lived relations and activities that distract us even if only for a while.

But love and friendships come and go like the ebb and flow of tides. And we become used to it. To that lack of permanence, the absence of something with which to evolve, to change, to grow; to substantially experience every tiny or huge life moment with.

We end up convincing ourselves that we do not want much. Lest we feel pressured. Lest we become overwhelmed with too much information we cannot process. Lest we connect too deeply. Lest we feel.

We prefer to throw things out and replace them rather than fix them and enhance them.

We say we cannot manage any more. That we tried too much and grew weary. But that is not true. Because we simply want to avoid the inconvenience and challenge of getting out of that zone of complacency and comfort that we’ve created.

We live devoid of emotion and end up hardly living at all. Because we think that this is how we preserve ourselves, our personalities, and our ego.

But this is how we lose anything worth having. Anyone who could lift us up, help us develop as beings, and make us better.

We lose the game before we even play because we’re so afraid of what may happen if we do not win.

We’re too scared of getting attached that we end up alone despising our own loneliness.

If growth hurts, how are we to break our own bondage without exiting our comfort zone? Without loving, giving it all, hurting, breaking, fighting, fixing, and eventually holding on to everything that truly matters? Anything that makes us better. That which absorbs our thoughts in the morning and keeps us awake at night.

You can feel what really matters deep in your soul. It grips you.

That is how you know.

And that is what you are left with in the end.

Aim for the stars

It’s reviving to feel valued. To see the sparkle in someone’s eyes as they gaze at you with a mixture of amazement and pride. But above all, it’s empowering to be acknowledged and appreciated for exactly who you are and what you have to offer.

Not everyone who comes into your life can see that. Not everyone will stay. And not everyone will spark that excitement inside you.

Most will try to undermine you. Some will attempt to trip you up. And others will do their best to extinguish you. But you should just fight on. Do what you do best and disregard the voices around you (sometimes even those in your own head). Our innate instinct often knows better and that is what we should trust. If you are confident you are doing the utmost of your abilities, if you always aim for the stars, you most definitely will reach the sky.

There is no limit to what you can do if you truly aspire high. Regardless of what anyone says. Despite what your inhibitions are.

The only thing preventing you from becoming who you dream of is your own hesitations.

“It’s not who you are that is holding you back. It’s who you think you are not.”

Another Box

When we prepare to move house, we fill up boxes. Stuff that sometimes we didn’t even know we had that is, however, too valuable to throw away. We place things in boxes often for temporary storage. To transfer them somewhere else. To keepsake them still.

We position things in boxes even to just organize our rooms. But whatever is placed inside is something we hold dear, objects that are tied to sentiments, events, and people, but mostly memories. It is the reminiscence of how we felt when we were first given that particular item, flower, stuffed toy, photo, souvenir, ticket, letter, post-it, or whatever it is we cherish so much.

It’s the feeling we try to hold on to. Because that is what is so hard to accept letting go of. The emotion. That sense of happiness that overwhelmed us during the presence of the now-boxed item.

We fill our lives with boxes because, unfortunately, we cannot do so in our minds. The chaos in our heads often breaks relationships out of exaggerated minute disagreements. Our tolerance diminishes as we grow older and we prefer to fill up boxes, no matter how big or small, and move on. Or at least convince ourselves to do so. To rediscover our own self, to build our strength again in the hope that the next box we will fill will be only to be moved somewhere better to be reopened.

The ‘happily ever after’ we seek

We grow up believing in fairy tale endings. That everything can just happen so simply and effortlessly and we’ll all live ‘happily ever after’.

No one really tells you though that effort is required from both sides at all times. That it takes two to make any happy ending work. That you need to invest time, presence, and comprehension in the other person. That love sometimes is not enough. We want someone who can stand us at our worst, be joyful with us at our best, and have the patience to endure all the mood swings in between. No one tells you that it’s not easy.

We somehow believe that we’ll meet, our eyes will cross, our hearts will flutter, our hands will touch, and that it all easily leads off to a happy ever after. But what happens after that? When routine sets in and you need to fight for attention, for being present, for maintaining that spark, for remembering that very first feeling? That emotion that still lightens up your face when you recount how you first met?

Nothing worthy is easy. That is something we keep hearing.

But we need to both want it to work. We need to have a common path to walk on. And a single direction to look at.

That’s how a forever after is created. Together.

The wrong stop

When you accidentally get on the wrong train to another destination, sometimes trust the universe in taking you somewhere else. There is a reason things don’t happen as you wish, and sometimes when you are directed on another path, just follow it. It may save you a lot of heartbreak, inadvertent disagreements, and unpleasant truths.

We so stubbornly want things to go our way, we often dismiss the signs that tell us otherwise. Timing is everything in the end. It’s knowing when to engage in conflict; to choose the battles you make; the moment to speak and what to say; when to stay away or come closer; when to act or do nothing at all. Timing makes a world of difference. And it may be the making or breaking point of any relationship or initiative.

It’s not only the will to do something that matters. It’s also how you choose to do it or convey the message you’re trying to send out. Communication is key. But comprehension is also important. We tend to forget that. We all want to be feel seen and heard, but mostly we want to feel understood. Love can heal all wounds, even in the toughest of times. And the simplest form of love is giving someone your presence.

Serendipity

There is a sweet melancholy that usually accompanies us on our way back from wherever we’ve escaped for a few days. Be it a city break, an island getaway, or an adventure abroad, the road back often feels longer, mainly because we can sense reality getting closer and our mundane routines closing up on us. We’re carefree when we’re away, and if we live in a city we don’t wholeheartedly adore, returning to it is somewhat difficult. When we see new places and other cultures, meet new people and have fun all day outside, we come to view our everyday schedules as boring and lacking in excitement. It’s up to us, however, to change that.

Sometimes a happy coincidence occurs, great things just come together for something good to happen. Call it serendipity, or just pure luck, but once in a while, we deserve to find goodness without looking for it.

The pretty side

©Dale Rogerson

Pictures tell stories. That’s why we often take so many of them. Because we try to capture the sentiment of the moment with each click. The happiness, the wonder, the amazement, the company, the love.

Drawings demonstrate our inner feelings. What we usually hide even from ourselves. They’re an expression of what our mind does not speak. That’s why they are sometimes so abstract; they reflect the chaos in our hearts and heads.

Graffiti can be works of art too. They make even the ugliest of buildings seem beautiful. Because everything can have a pretty side if someone reveals it.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

If you can’t find Spring

“And if Spring arrives and it’s cloudy and drizzly?”

“‘If you can’t find spring, you make it’, as the great Greek poet Elytis said.”

“How?”

“One little step, one colourful thought, one bright action at a time.”

We often tend to make things more difficult than they are. We allow our imagination to override our rationale and we make mountains out of molehills, fearing the worst, instead of envisioning the best case scenarios.

If we control our mindsets, we may be able to spring up our daily lives too, one sunny day at a time.

Imagine that

©MCD

Imagine if we had the courage to say everything we wanted to each other without the fear that we would be misunderstood.

Imagine feeling as loved and appreciated as we desired.

Imagine if everything we imagined turned out to be real.

But what if instead of imagining we tried to live it all?

What if we truly listened to each other without criticism or prejudice?

What if we dismissed the negative thoughts that overtake our minds and expect more joy and accept less pain?

Wouldn’t it all be easier that way?

Wouldn’t it be more peaceful?

Would it not relieve all doubt and make it all worthwhile?

Just imagine that.