MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “lost”

A woman’s silence

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She would often wander in a world no-one could understand. The real world made no sense anymore. She would retreat in the attic and later in the bedroom or living room. She would watch the time run by as she lost herself in books or let her mind gaze at TV series. She didn’t care anymore if she was alone. Now, it was something she actually looked forward to.

In the cold winter days, she would sit on a couch wrapped in a warm blanket with the company of her fluffy soft-toys. In their big glimmering eyes, she would find comfort. In there, she saw the reflection of who she wanted to be; who she was striving to become; who few would appreciate or, even more, understand.

Perhaps that was what was most disappointing. That no matter how much she explained her point of view, hardly anyone would see it. It is easy to put the blame for everything on someone else; it is even easier to dismiss all their views as wrong simply because they don’t agree with yours.People only listen to what they want to hear. And whatever you say, they will only focus on what they think is important, rendering everything else unsaid. She was tired of having to repeat herself so often, and not being heard. She was not understood. And that was perhaps worse than not being appreciated.

So, she drifted away. She had grown weary of trying to change a world that so adamantly refused to do so. She stopped insisting. Her grandfather once told her that people should fear a woman’s silence, for a woman who stops moaning and more so talking is one who has simply given up. A woman’s silence is her loudest cry. But few can truly realise that. Even fewer are bold enough to do something about it.

It’s easy to keep demanding that everyone else changes. The real courage is to admit that you need to change too. And to do it.

To all ye who doubt

CreateYourselfI am better than you think. I am stronger, smarter and braver. I can manage on my own. I can deal with my own problems without needing to run back to you for help. I can sustain my own routine. I can shop on my own, cook on my own, wash on my own. I can take care of my own income and expenses. I can decide for myself. I can make the right choices. I may make mistakes but I learn from them. This is my life and I get to decide for it. I trust you and love you, but I will no longer stand to be controlled by you. I want you next to me, supporting and loving me. Not on top of me, yelling and shouting at me. I want you to rejoice with me and cheer me up, not hit me when I’m down and step over me. I need you there to listen and advise me. Not to dictate and criticize me. I love you but sometimes it just seems you don’t. Tough love is not an option anymore. The world is a hard place as it is. I just need you to help me find solutions to power through it all. To help me find my place and realize my dreams. To make this a life worth living and enjoying to the fullest. No-one can do that if they are constantly strapped to a ball and chain.

Allowing yourself to get lost is the quickest route to finding your way” – Sarah Pezdek-Smith

Wishing you were never gone

3257245001_dc974d126eI still miss you.
I still look for you in the corridors,
On the furniture,
In the corners of the house.

I still fight the urge to call your name
And look out for you running
From the most unlikely hiding place.

I still dream of you
As if you were never gone.
As if I’ll wake up to find you peacefully sleeping at my feet.

I wish you were still here.
To look into your hazel-golden eyes
And just know that everything will be fine.

I love you
And that will never ever change.

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