MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “mind”

Obscure emotional shadows

Emotions are like an invisible shadow that clings on to us ever since we come into this world. They serve to help us taste life to the maximum. They may enlighten us or confuse us according to the situation. But in essence, they are what makes us stand out from every other species. The fact that we can feel things, sometimes (too) deeply.

We talk of and experience emotional outbursts, because sometimes our feelings get too difficult to bear.

And we often get carried away by what we feel, that sense of excitement, the adrenaline rush, the fear even. We let our emotions dictate our actions and sometimes this results in complicated situations.

So, we are prompted to follow our heart – our feelings – but to take our brain with us. To be smart in the things we pursue and we feel we desire, but to make our decisions wisely, logically and rationally. It’s not always easy to think before you act. Because sometimes your heart pulls you faster and stronger than your mind can convince you to think. It takes you to places you shouldn’t be, places that are as exciting as perilous, ones that can cause both happiness and pain. Your heart can easily drag you into situations you cannot return from, no matter how much your brain may try to take over afterwards.

Emotions are our strongest asset but also our greatest curse.

The worst place you can be

We all hide a whirlwind of emotions inside, just waiting to be expressed. Often women more than men go through a series of alternating sentiments even during one single day. Perhaps we pay too much attention to the little things, overthink excessively and try to find connotations in every action.

The problem though lies with tolerating too much. With burying emotions inside in the hope of forgetting about them, of extinguishing their force and of somehow making things better. We all nurture that illusion that things will change without action from our part. As if magically the world will improve in the way we want it to.

There comes a time, however, when our feelings take over our reactions. Either because we are tired, hungry or simply exasperated by everything, there comes an emotional explosion that is sometimes out of character. We can’t always control what we feel. Like Elizabeth Gilbert said, “your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions”.

It is during those explosions that we need people close, no matter how far we push them away. We need to feel loved even in our toughest of times, when we are being difficult, obstinate and insecure. It is at our worst that we need the affection. To believe that it is just a phase and will pass, that we will come out stronger, and that, in the end, everything will be better than fine.

Sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head”.

Empty pockets and full hearts

There is a saying that being rich is not about the material things you have, but the wealth you store inside – the things that enrich your mind and spirit. As such, the more we have inside, the less we need on the outside.

In his beautiful and very inspiring book “The Richest Man of the World”, Rafael Vídac states that most of the problems in this world come from people with full pockets and empty hearts. For this reason, he has written what is described as “a complete map to follow for anyone who needs a profound change in his life” (Diana Zuluaga). He prompts readers to take steps to enrich their internal wealth, which will help in transforming them into a more dynamic person by expanding their mind.

In a page-turning story that grips you from the start, the author notes that all people go through periods of personal crisis. And these consist of five stages:

  1. Ignorance – not acknowledging why you feel terrible
  2. Wandering – accepting you feel bad but not knowing what you want
  3. Utopia – you know what you want but don’t know how to achieve it
  4. Paralysis – you know what you want and the steps to take to realise it, but you are still incapable of taking action and this causes pain and disappointment. It is scary to take hold of the realms of your life.
  5. Resistances – you are able to move into action and pursue your goals, but for some reason you are unable to succeed.

At the same time, however, we are taught that there are three “laws” worth taking into account during periods of crisis:

  1. No one regardless is forced to endure a difficulty that they are not capable of overcoming.
  2. Every pain and effort is always rewarded and at the right time.
  3. The truly important things that happen to us do so on a wise purpose that we will understand sooner or later.

“Try to believe and life will prove to you that no matter what, it will support you,” Vídac states, stressing that “life will show you the path you need to follow.”

He makes the reader open his/her eyes to things we are too busy to see. Or the ones we don’t want to.

For example:

  • Material things are only the shell covering people’s feelings and thoughts.
  • We tend to substitute insecurities with the need to have control.
  • Control is a useful tool on condition that you do not allow it to govern you. It is impossible to control everything in life.
  • You need to learn how to take steps in the dark – if you can move without any prior information, you will sharpen your senses to move on the ground on which you tread.

In this amazing and very motivating book, the reader is forced to think, to ponder on where s/he focuses their energy on a daily basis and what needs to change for a better life.

Here are some of the best messages from this must-read book:

  • Our body needs vitality. The next step in achieving internal wealth is to correctly manage unpleasant emotions. When such feelings have been supressed for too long they become toxins that poison our bodies and distort the way we view the world around us.
  • The problem does not lie with the unpleasant emotions per se, but in our inability to appropriately manage them. For that reason, we don’t need to eradicate them but to harness them.
  • It is easy to feel angry. But few know how to appropriately manage this feeling. Anger when suppressed for a long time results in bitterness. Sorrow may turn into depression and fear into a pathological insecurity against any situation.
  • The real target is not the target itself, but the person who you wish to become. The aim is for you to transform into someone who is ready to accept what s/he desires. The way you deal with circumstances must be that of a person who was already conquered his/her goals. Start to believe that you have that something you want. From that moment, you create it, by believing in it (Law of attraction).
  • Never underestimate the impact of the true meaning of words. We don’t “chase” our dreams – the phrase insinuates running after something that constantly evades us.
  • Possessing the necessary internal wealth allows you to hold the necessary energy and have a mind capable of concentrating.
  • What we call ‘luck’ is only the final consequence of all our past actions. What you do alone does not determine your luck, but also what you feel and what you think.
  • Our stance – as per our emotional or mental actions – also has a great role to play in implementing our goals. You need to believe strongly in what you want to achieve, but also be able to distance yourself from the result, whatever that may be – to accept any outcome.
  • Our perceptions are packages of brain information that operate autonomously and affect our way of perceiving the world.
  • No one knows you better than your own mind and that is why no one is more enticing when it wants to convince you about something.
  • Focus your mind on what is happening at that moment and not on the disappointments that may never come. Worry is a mental creation born out of fear
  • The person who becomes obsessed with what he is looking for cannot appreciate what he already has.
  • At times, life destroys in the most painful way what matters most to us, but that only happens when we are ready to succeed in something better.
  • The only limits that exist are the ones we ourselves impose.
  • A flame does not stop shining because of the darkness that surrounds it.
  • We should wonder if what exists in our life is what we truly want or what we fear to change.
  • All of us, and each one separately, can transform into something wonderful, someone brilliant. There is no better time than now.

Trying to unwind

How many times have you found yourself in a situation in which you are forced to hide your true feelings? It has happened to us all. Either because you don’t agree with the rest of the opinions expressed and don’t want to elaborate; either because the conversation bores you; or you dislike the people around you; or worse yet because you’re in pain and want to hide it.

It is not easy when you’re suffering to pretend everything is OK. But most of us do so on a daily basis.

From the millions of things roaming in our minds, we only express a couple of them, not even half of what we truly think.

As a result, we suppress everything else leading our body to suffer from the toxicity of unexpressed thoughts, feelings, opinions. This in turn results in psychosomatic symptoms – the tendency to experience psychological distress in the form of physical symptoms. These may include chest pain, fatigue, dizziness, headache, oedema, back pain, shortness of breath, insomnia, abdominal pain, numbness, impotence, weight loss, cough, and constipation. This demonstrates that our minds and body are interlinked, entwined to the extent that the one affects the other. Emotional disturbances are often translated into physical symptoms, mostly evident in the effects we experience when we’re stressed, upset, scared, excited.

We often seek treatments in fast remedies – usually painkillers. We are advised patience and above all relaxation and calm. But the latter seem almost impossible when you’re in pain. In reality, we need the courage to seek the source of the distress, so we can change what provokes it. Only then will we truly be able to unwind.

Hidden thoughts

We all have hidden interpretations of things others don’t see. And it is usually the ones that cause a conflict. Because people find it hard to see with others’ eyes. We can’t put ourselves in others’ shoes, nor interpret things their way.

There are symbolic meanings to everyday behaviours. Meanings that are affected by our own perceptions of the world, by our prejudices, by our mentality, by the way we were raised, by the things we read, by our own experiences and thoughts.

It is these very perceptions that give rise to our hidden thoughts. They may be misinterpretations of certain incidents. But they become so rooted in our minds that to us they are established as the reality we see.

We refuse to see a different perspective, an alternative view, because it seems illogical, irrational, in total conflict to our own. And in essence, we are too stubborn, head-strong and selfish to do something that requires empathy on our part. It requires setting aside our own beliefs to comprehend what makes others react or act in certain ways.

Such absolute perceptions and hidden thoughts make our relationships dysfunctional. They cause us to become defensive even hostile. But worse of all, they lead to disappointment when we realise that our expectations are not met.

The mind is like a parachute: it only works when it is open.

Stretching your mind

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Why do we learn new things? Why are we even interested in something we know nothing about and may possibly not affect us?

We learn because it is how we grow. It is why as children we are so easily excited about almost everything, regardless of how nonsense it may later seem to us as adults.

There are many types of learning, for example, targeted learning simply to pass an exam; specialised learning to become experts in one (or only a few) specific areas; and broader life-long learning that never stops.

Education is the progressive discovery of our own ignorance” (Will Durant). It is how we find our place in the world and how we can discover new ways to make things better.

Indeed, as Benjamin Franklin said, “being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn”. We should want to learn. We should desire to broaden our perspectives and widen our horizons. We should be willing to engage in more talk than just things we know much about.

 “The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice” – Brian Herbert

The mind is everything; everything is in the mind

Boat-Calm-waterIt’s a curious thing that happens. Just when you think that things begin to fall in place and you are on the verge of finally finding some peace and much-needed tranquillity, something appears that messes with your mind. It makes you start over-thinking everything. Questioning your actions, rethinking your decisions and worrying about every single thing you do.

The mind is a terrible thing. Deeply powerful too. For the thoughts in your head affect every part of your being, from your mood to your behaviour to the things you decide (not) to do.

We are so often called to fill our heads with positive thoughts, as this is what will inspire our lives to change. The thoughts in our head aren’t always correct. But they overwhelm us to the point where we start creating problems that didn’t exist. We’re not supposed to always believe those random and miscellaneous voices that haunt our heads. Especially the negative ones. But some things are easier said than done.

“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down”.

That dot in the ceiling me,
When I don’t say a word.

Listen to me,
When I scream in my silences.

Look at me,
even when I turn away.

Watch me,
When I say I don’t need your attention.

Console me,
When I walk away crying.

Hold me,
Even when I push you off.

Hug me,
Even when I say I don’t want you near.

Read between my lines.

Understand what I don’t say.

Feel me even when I say nothing to you.

My mind is a dangerous and chaotic place.
But you may learn to comprehend it if you try.

Just stop staring at that dot in the ceiling,

Realise that I can’t stop and do nothing.

It drives energetic people crazy – apathy.

Come run away with me.


Helping out a friend with a guest post

guest-post-blog-dream-creativity-love-joy-tantra-gift-economy1It’s always great to help out a friend. Especially one you share a blogging passion with. Jackie asked me to write a guest post for her wonderful blog. And of course I accepted.

So head over here to find out exactly how weird writers and translators are, especially when they are mentally grappling alone with the multitude of works that are muddled up in their heads.

Thanks Jackie!

Raising a castle from the ground

CUORE-DI-LEONE-FRONTMy grandmother always told me that you should never give women a response as vague as “do what you think, dear”. Because if you do, she is not responsible for the surprise you will receive.

I think she was the one who invented this rule.

Grandfather was always specific with his responses. He never said “do what you think”, but always presented her with at least two options. So, for example, if she would ask “what do you want for dinner tomorrow?”, he would say “how about some fried chicken, or perhaps some lamb stew?”. He had realized that if he offered two options, he would at least get the one. But there were always times when grandmother decided to implement a third option that she herself had decided upon.

Women are crazy and insistent like that. There was no way you could understand the manner their minds worked. Grandfather said it was not even worth trying. You would sooner be driven crazy than even begin to comprehend them.

Grandfather had learnt his lesson when during the early years of their marriage he had gone off on a three-day hunting trip with his friends. Grandmother was left alone in the house, having plenty of things to do and being content with simply running the household.

But she soon got bored and on the second day called grandfather to ask if he wouldn’t mind a few changes being made in the house’s construction. He gave the unfortunate response of “sure, do whatever you think is best, my dear”.

Grandmother kept herself busy, frantically and excitedly creating in reality what she had already constructed in her mind.

When grandfather returned two days later, he had to run around the house twice, thinking he made a wrong turn somewhere and ended up at someone else’s house. The house he had left, that simple, stone-walled maisonette he had departed from, had disappeared and in its place there had been erected a renaissance-style villa, with fifteen steps and a huge porch leading to the two-doored entrance of a three-storey house. The back yard featured a stable and a hencoop, while the entire perimeter was confined by an elegantly crafted wooden fence. Grandmother rushed out to greet him, beaming with joy. “Do you like the new changes?” she asked, obviously rhetorically. Grandfather was speechless. Grandmother took it to mean he loved them.

Women are crazy like that. They can raise castles out of molehills in less time than you need to go to the market and return. Yet they will always ask for your opinion, even for something simple as the colour of their shoes, but never listen to what you say. Either way, you have to admit, life would be really boring without them.

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