MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “mood”

When we say we’re fine

https://www.must.com.cy/assets/modules/wnp/articles/202004/71649/images/b_tourismos_1.jpg

When people ask each other “how are you?”, the response is a reflex answer of “fine, and you?”. Rarely does the question delve deeper into how the other person actually is. We ask about our news, our novelties, our gossip, work, relationships etc, but hardly does anyone actually look into how we really are; how we feel, in what mental state we are in.

This year (2020) has been hard. Almost six months have passed, and we have but a few days in which things actually progressed and we have something to show for them. Otherwise, all we have done is stayed at home, explored our neighbourhoods, developed our cooking skills, irritated the people we live with, become depressed at being alone, and wasted an obscene amount of time on Netflix and social media.

Undeniably, even doing a bare minimum – or absolutely nothing – takes a toll on our mental health. We tell each other we’re fine to believe it is true. Because if we don’t overanalyze, we won’t have to admit to ourselves that deep down we are not as great as we want to appear. We are lacking security, the freedom of movement, the capacity to make plans again, having something to look forward to, the prospect that we will get to see our loved ones again soon in a scheduled time and date without the fear of risking a new lockdown or quarantine measures being imposed on you.

We’re only as fine as we believe ourselves to be. Yet, we prefer not to talk about what is bugging us in an attempt to override it. It’s like sweeping the dust under the carpet. Just because we can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Mood swings and mental breakdowns don’t necessarily need professional help to be overcome or healed. Sometimes all we really need is people around us who care enough to offer the help we don’t dare to ask for. It’s enough to know that there are friends and family there who can offer a hug, a random talk when needed, and a simple confirmation that we’re not facing things alone. Because in the end, what we all need is the sentiment that better days are coming no matter what, and the incentive to garner the patience to deal with it all.

Vibrate higher

With our “normalcy” ruptured, our minds are daily overwhelmed with a conflict of thoughts. It’s not easy trying to maintain a positive attitude in a midst of negative news. When you are constantly bombarded with statistics about new Covid-19 / Coronavirus cases, deaths, ventilated patients, those recovered, restrictive measures, fines for violation, increased risks, etc., our minds become a battlefield between optimism and pessimism.

But in order to maintain even a trace of sanity, we need to regain control.

The energy you store inside you and the one you radiate are equally important as the food you nurture your body with. Energy is contagious; if you hang around with negative energy, if you allow it to infiltrate you, you will eventually start to absorb it. Seek out positive company, like-minded people, good news, feel-good things to watch and read. As cliché as it might sound: be the energy you want to attract. And you’ll see your mood change.

Negativity can only affect you if you allow it to; if you’re on the same frequency. So vibrate higher. Shine brighter. And choose to believe that better days are coming.

The dog in the window

©MCD

He was present everyday in the shop that dealt with pain and mourning. At first, when he first arrived he was the happiest dog most people had ever seen. He never stopped wagging his tail and seeking attention, jumping happily on its two feet.

But as the days passed, he noticed that people who entered the shop were not happy. And no matter how hard he tried, how much he jumped around, wagged his tail, tried to transmit his energy, they would hardly ever smile. Instead they were sobbing more often than not, drowning in a misery that was evident in the aura that accompanied them both upon their entry and their exit from the shop.

He preferred to sit at the shop window, gazing outside at the passers-by. They seemed to be happier. Every so often someone would stop and say something with a huge smile as if waiting for it to be reciprocated.

But the little dog had lost its spark. His eyes no longer had that glow anymore. And his tail did not wag that often.

That’s what usually happens when you surround yourself with misery for too long. You give up trying to float and allow yourself to get drowned into it too.   

On auras and the energy we emit

http://shubhurja.com/img/human-aura.jpgWhenever you’re found in a public place, where do you look? When you’re stuck in a bus, train, metro or even a queue, where do you fix your gaze? All of us tend to look around, we observe the people who surround us and we tend to judge them even unknowingly or unconsciously. But there are some people who do so on purpose. Who look at you from head to toe and have millions of thoughts pass through their mind in split seconds at the mere sight of you. They don’t necessarily need to know you. Those are the worst. Such people emit a bad energy or aura. They are the people you want to avoid. The ones who you can sense have a black cloud hanging over them.

If it is true that we attract what we reflect, then we should all try to be a bit more positive, more cheerful, more kind, more good-hearted. Instead, daily, we meet people who constantly speak bad of others – even if they know nothing of them. They are people who transmit a bad aura, where aura is defined as “an invisible emanation or field of energy believed to radiate from a person or object”. In New Age beliefs, it is “a distinctive but intangible quality that seems to surround a person or thing”. But in Medicine, an aura is also “a sensation, as of a cold breeze or a bright light, that precedes the onset of certain disorders, such as an epileptic seizure or an attack of migraine”.

In a society where we are so concerned with our looks, many people often turn to specialists today to “clean their aura”, to restore their body’s health by affecting their “centres of vital force or chakra”.

We seek external help to fix a problem that comes from within.

But what we continue to ignore is the fact that people who talk badly of others, who wish others bad, who give them “a bad eye” are the ones in whom this negative energy – this pessimism – concentrates.

We are what we are made of, and consequently what we emanate.

Don’t you feel better in the presence of someone cheerful, who is always making jokes and never talking about others, compared to someone who is constantly gossiping and criticising the world?

The aura we emanate depends solely on us. And it is up to us to change it.

 

Shopping for a different mood

It’s not just Upper East Side ‘Cosmo’ girls that go shopping.  Nor is it simply shopaholics. It is a known fact that when a woman is upset she goes shopping. Even if you don’t really need anything, you will always find something to buy. Strolling in and out of all those shops, there will always be something that will catch your eye; that will strike you as new and extraordinary and will pull you towards it, calling you to make it yours. It is also a fact that people don’t want others to tell them how to spend their money, but everyone loves buying stuff. That is why shopping is often perceived as a form of therapy. It is a mood-lifter after all, even if it is only short-term. But if you keep your spending in reasonable measure, retail therapy can have a longer-lasting effect.

Studies on this interesting issue have in fact found that shopping can actually make you happy. Shopping is deemed as treating yourself to something nice and this has a lasting positive impact on your mood, shoving aside any negative emotional side-effects. Of course it doesn’t really erase the reason you were in a bad mood but at least it helps you overcome it. Purchases from retail therapy are considered overwhelmingly beneficial, leading to mood boosts and no regrets or guilt. And there always seem to be positive consequences to buying yourself a small treat, for in the end you do feel better. Perhaps it is also the prospect that these “comfort purchases” will improve your image to the outside world; the allure that you will look better, even if you’re feeling blue inside.

However, the reason that a therapeutic shopping spree boosts our mood can be traced back to the brain releasing the chemical dopamine which is essential for our mental and physical health. Dopamine is associated with feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, and it is released when we experience something new, exciting or challenging. And for many people, shopping is all those things. Walking in to a store and seeing all those things you haven’t seen before, trying on clothes and shoes you haven’t tried on before, is an instant pick-me-up.

Shopping therefore can be enormously rewarding to us. And like the author of the “Shopaholic” series, Sophie Kinsella, said “Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it”.

P.S. Yes, I did recently go on a shopping therapy spree! But no, I am not trying to justify it. It does work!

Post Navigation