MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “#motivation”

Seeking advice

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We seek advice from others because it is often deafening to quarrel with the sound of your own voice inside your head. We feel the need for an exterior perspective, in case we’re missing something given that we’re so deep in the situation we’re experiencing.

Perhaps it is true that “advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t” (Erica Jong) or maybe it’s just that we look to others to help us find a solution we’re too blind to see.

Talking to others – to the right others – most times helps us clarify things that are fogging our own judgement. It makes us see a clearer picture by getting out of the circle of our own bias and viewing a more spherical perspective.

But there is a catch in turning to friends – or professionals – for help: they’re not you. And whatever they tell you, they’re not the ones who will have to live with the decisions you make.

Not all friends want what’s best for you, neither does everyone understand how you feel, how you react, your idiosyncrasies, needs or desires. But most importantly, no one really knows what you should do in any given situation; opinions are not facts; they’re merely a perspective of reality. And each person behaves differently, leading to a diverse outcome each time. There is no ‘one-shoe-fits-all’ solution to all of our problems. Plus not all ‘friends’ want what is best for you; jealousy is a vicious characteristic.

Remember this: “You are the expert on you and even if you don’t know something, nobody can know what’s best for you better than you. So start trusting your gut instincts more and listen to other so-called experts less”.

“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm” (Joshua Miller)

Level up

There is a belief that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. That’s why we need to choose those around us wisely. Because they affect the way we think, act, behave, live.

It’s interesting how when you cut yourself off from the toxic people in your life – those who did you more bad than good and who made you feel worse rather than better – you actually improve in every aspect. Once you withdraw from what is bringing you down, you level up.

This is often obvious from the way you behave, you talk, you walk, you hold yourself up, to the mood you radiate and the aura you emit.

One of the main and most fundamental reason of stress and the psychosomatic symptoms it causes is the fact that we are forced to associate ourselves with people we often don’t even like, let alone match with or share common perspectives, among others. The mere fact that we are doing something we detest is a cause of tension that we bring upon ourselves. Just imagine the strength of the contrary: engaging in something you love and are passionate about. Can you sense the difference?

We are responsible for the choices we make and the people around us, and can change this at any time.

And most significantly: when you can’t’ control what is happening, challenge yourself to control the way you react to it. The way you respond to external occurrences is where your strength lies. Rise up to it.

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