The peak of the mountain

Pete was a person of many talents. He wanted to accomplish a lot in his life but was constantly held back by his need for all his conditions to be met before moving ahead.

Sandrine was a person of many dreams, which she set into goals and worked hard to achieve them. She loved what she did and put passion into whatever she took hold of.

When they met each other they instantly clicked. It felt as if they knew each other since forever, and for some reason fate led them into each other’s path. Nothing happens by accident.

It all moved fast from there. It was natural. Seamless. With disagreements and rifts at times, but that was sort of expected too. No two lives can clasp perfectly together without jolting. Every relationship requires work; we don’t “just wake up like this”, we need the determination, willingness, and effort to make things happen.

As time passed, they both began to view life together in the future. That’s what love supposedly is, right? Looking for the same things in the same direction. And working together for them. Supporting each other. Through the good and bad times.

They had set a goal to climb a mountain and place at the very top a flag they had made together as a symbol of their commitment to each other.

The first time they tried, Sandrine found it excruciating to reach the top, and Pete pulled her up. But a few feet away, he pulled out a parachute and dropped down. Simply because it was something he always wanted to do and it was a good opportunity.

Sandrine was devastated. But they tried again.

The second time, they found that if they held each other, they could better support one another to achieve the milestone. Sandrine slipped, but when Pete tried to grab her, he glided down the slope instead.

It was disappointing for the both of them.

But they tried again. Because they knew that what they felt from the start was stronger than any mishap that occurred along the way. And if they fought as a team against it all, they would surely win.

This time Sandrine was confident they would set the flag on the top. They were ready. They had overcome all the obstacles and the peak was in sight. There was absolutely nothing rational that could destroy it all. And right when Pete was to pull out the flag from his backpack, he instead took out a sleigh, and without saying a word, trickled down the mountain like a child engulfed in a game.

Sandrine was left ghosted and lost.

He would say one thing and then act differently.

She could not understand. And he would not let her in. There was no explanation for why he would so radically change and panic when they were so close to their joint goal.

We don’t know what people think unless they tell us. But we need to accept and comprehend their side of the story. Regardless if we agree or not.

Comprehension is the key to great and honest communication.

But so is being grateful and realising the little things we have beside us. We have more than we believe, but if we don’t acknowledge them, it’ll be too late when we eventually do.

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Profound wishes all year through

It’s usually birthdays that give us a chance to review and reflect on where you’ve been and where you’re going. But the eve of a New Year fills you with determination and a goal-oriented mindset to improve things, to change, to evolve, to get out of the ‘same old’ and into something new, better, and exciting.

We look forward to new adventures with the passion to create new memories, surrounded by people with love and moments filled with laughter. We want to let go of the baggage we carry – be it emotional, psychological, or literal. We want to walk forward lighter, happier, and with a more optimistic outlook on life. Because the truth is that nothing is as idyllic as we hoped or we imagined, and most things in this life are beyond our control. We can manage our own reactions and response to everything though. And sometimes, things do happen for us and not to us.

So let’s commit to making these resolutions true all year round and not just the first couple of weeks. Let’s allow our actions to talk for us. Let’s share our moments of happiness and love with the people around us and not on our social media. And let’s vow to make this year the best yet, with nothing (and no one) less but with more and profound – more experience, more smiles, more growth in every aspect.

Here’s to a New Year full of sparkles and bangs and excitement all 12 months through!

Happy New Year everyone!

Only half-way

©Ted Strutz

“This boat trip will only take you half-way. You’ll have to carry on the rest of the journey yourself afterwards”. If only, simply to comprehend you’re capable of more than you credit yourself for.

Do you ever make plans in your head, fantasize stories and happy endings, simply to feel that fulfilling satisfying sensation of completeness; of genuine happiness and tranquillity?

It’s a dangerous thing to do.

Usually because nothing ever works out like the feel-good plans we make unilaterally. Destiny has too many parameters to be forged by us alone.

Regardless of the outcome of life, we continue forward.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Complications

Call it ‘complications’, ‘technical difficulties’, ‘unsurpassable obstacles’. For anyone in communications, it’s the simplest way of not naming a problem: just give it a vague definition.

We tend to do this with life itself. Things come our way that we do not really know how to handle or deal with – at least not at first. We find ourselves drowning in our sea of problems, of stomach-churning troubles, of migraine-inciting predicaments, we have no idea of how to solve.

Yet if we calm down just a bit; if we talk to someone just to get a clearer view, we realise that there are no real complications. In fact, we ourselves are causing the complexity to begin with.

There are only two ways to move ahead in life: you either want to or you don’t.

And the best method to decide is to listen to yourself – those body signs you often ignore: if it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not. But if you’re thinking about it so much, it probably means it also matters enough for you to go forward with it.

Whatever you do, remember this: it may be better to live with remorse than regrets, but things are just as simple as our minds allow them to be.

Everything starts and ends with a healthy mind, a healthy attitude, and a healthy mentality.

The 1001st

Eight years and eight months (or 104 months) after I started this very blog, I achieved a milestone of 1000 posts. I was never really good at numbers – or getting too personal in a post – but sometimes statistics offer a perspective. It’s easy to spill your soul on paper because you don’t visualise all those people reading it. You only see yourself as the steering wheel guiding the pen that scribbles down the words you feel.

Like Barbara Kingsolver said: “Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer”.

And just like that, you make writing a habit, you go on with life and suddenly you realise that…well, life happens. Milestones come and go like a rising sun, and it is only when you stop to reflect on the time that has passed that you acknowledge the changes you’ve undergone and how your reality has altered.

This 1001st post coincides with a process of moving – in all senses and on all levels.

Moving on to a new neighbourhood, a new home, a new environment. Moving on to new work opportunities, levelling-up, moving forward in order to evolve.

It is said that after the grieving of loss or separation, moving is the third most stressful thing we endure. Because that too entails the breaking of ties. Beginning life anew is both difficult, but also exciting. It is a chance to start over, to rediscover the world, to open up new windows and doors both literally and metaphorically.

As always, though, things don’t always happen as smoothly and seamlessly as we plan. Some transitions don’t occur without conflict; in this Covid-19 era, the virus gets hold of a friend you relied on for help; bureaucracy makes the world spin much slower; and technocrats don’t seem to be able to communicate effectively. There are all sorts of challenges we need to cope with that test our patience more than anything.

But that’s how circumstances make us stronger. How they teach us to be bolder and more resilient.

That’s how we move on; how we persist to make things work; how we survive.

That’s how we live. And in keeping ourselves busy, we (instinctively) power through.

The fall of an angel

“What is it that I do so wrong?” she asked her godmother with a voice that was drowning out tears.

She didn’t know that somewhere else, he was wondering the same, but chose to keep it for himself, pretending everything was perfectly fine.

The godmother smiled and sighed. It was a question almost everyone had posed at least once in their lifetime. It usually came after a painful experience. When you elevated too high with euphoria and abruptly crashed to the ground, claiming you never saw the collision drawing near. It was after the fall of an angel.

“You know, even the devil was once an angel. People don’t show their true face immediately. Some may feign so well that it takes a very long time to see through them – if ever”.

“So we should just never trust anyone? Ever?” She sounded so innocent, so naïve.

“You should tread cautiously, drawing lessons from your previous experience. But you should not shut down your heart and stop being you”.

There was silence. She was contemplating what that meant and how it could be achieved.

“Even angels find their wings too heavy sometimes”, the godmother continued, aware that the angels’ allegory always worked. After all, she was the one who had imbued it on her.

“Sometimes we need to fall to be able to look up. To take a wrong turn so that we eventually get to the right place. We need the darkness to see the stars. Just remember the lessons you learn on your journey through life. But most of all, accept that some things just happen because something greater is waiting for you. It wasn’t where you were meant to be. Stop thinking too much about it. You’ll be grateful you moved on later”.

And then she said this that served as a wake-up call:

“We consume ourselves where we’re not meant to be and become blind to all that awaits us”.

The trouble with overestimation

It was a thunderous and stormy day in August when Sarah decided to de-clutter her closets. In the heart of summer, autumn made its brief appearance that day, reminding her that nothing lasts too long.

It was time to get rid of everything that belonged in the past and had no room in her present or future. It was the only way to look forward.

After all, “life can only be understood looking backwards; but it must be lived forwards” (Soren Kierkegaard).

The truth with disappointment is that you invoke it on yourself by setting too high expectations.

You raise the bar too high hoping and wishing that others will leap up and reach it. You expect too much because you overestimate the potential of others. In your eyes, you see them as the ideal you imagine them to be. You fall in love with the idea of who a person can be, not who they truly are. And therein lies the very problem. Because you fail to see the reality and look pass it to its potential, of what it could be, not what it actually is. And then the difficulties intensify as you refuse to accept things as they are and to come to terms with how others are and act.

We fail to see that not everyone shares our mentality and our behaviour. These are beyond our control when they concern others. We don’t always need to comprehend why, but others may react and act differently than how we would. And that’s OK. Because they are an entirely different human being. But we struggle in accepting that.

And that is our trouble.

We lift others too high in our minds that we are the ones left hurt when they fall. In their head, they were never that high up anyway.

Sarah discovered a small frame she had hidden in one of her boxes. It read “expect nothing, appreciate everything”. And that pretty much summed it all up.

Forward no matter the speed

©MCD

It appeared in the middle of the footpath in the forest park. The little child was amazed. It pulled onto its grandfather’s hand to approach it cautiously.

“Look, how fast it’s going!” it pointed.

The turtle was moving faster than what is conventionally believed to be its pace.

The child was thrilled. For a few moments, it stood there, mesmerised, in silence watching it, as if absorbing every movement the turtle made.

“Turtles are extraordinary creatures,” her grandfather said. “They demonstrate how to be comfortable in your own shell; how to travel at your own pace even if that means going slowly. The only thing you should fear is standing still”.

The little girl tiptoed behind the turtle.

“Speed doesn’t matter. Forward is forward”.

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go” – T.S. Elliot

Parallel lines

In life, we go through a series of relationships. People come and go, leaving their marks on us and changing us for the better or worse.

Some are like parallel lines: we have a lot in common with them, but no matter how close they get, their lives will never coincide with ours. Then there are others with whom we start from different paths, our lives meet once, but then we drift apart again forever. Both versions are sad. They represent something unattainable. Something that either won’t happen or won’t last.

And the truth is, no matter how strong we want to appear, we’re all searching for a happy end that has the duration of a lifetime. We want that person who will come into our lives and prove why no other relationship worked. That one with whom we will form a partnership. The person who will inspire you to become a better version of yourself because you bring that out in them too. The kind of person who you won’t be afraid to fall because you trust they will always be there to catch you even with eyes closed.

It is difficult to let go of the stories and perceptions we create in our head. It becomes harder as we gather experiences and become more reserved, cautious and demanding of life itself.

But we can’t lose hope at any time that whatever happens has a reason for it, and that something better lies ahead.

Remember, “there are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind” (C.S. Lewis).

Earning what you’re worth

There is a perception that certain professions have a much higher pay than they actually do. And there is the widespread belief that some others pay more than what they are actually worth. For example, some public service employees (also known as “civil servants”) in certain countries who are paid much more than even private employees, yet work half the time and can hardly justify what they do as “work”.

There is the perception in life that you don’t always get what you give.

But that doesn’t mean you should give up. Life has a strange way of turning around and presenting you with the exact opportunities you deserve at the time when you’re ready. And karma takes care of everything else – all those who did not believe in you, who even mocked you or spoke badly of you.

There is a place for everyone and in the end, everyone gets what they deserve.

Just have faith and acknowledge the fact that even if you don’t earn what you’re worth, all that truly matters is that you know what you can do and those who matter will realise it eventually.

“It’s not about how fast you go…it’s about how long you stay there”.