Aim for the stars

It’s reviving to feel valued. To see the sparkle in someone’s eyes as they gaze at you with a mixture of amazement and pride. But above all, it’s empowering to be acknowledged and appreciated for exactly who you are and what you have to offer.

Not everyone who comes into your life can see that. Not everyone will stay. And not everyone will spark that excitement inside you.

Most will try to undermine you. Some will attempt to trip you up. And others will do their best to extinguish you. But you should just fight on. Do what you do best and disregard the voices around you (sometimes even those in your own head). Our innate instinct often knows better and that is what we should trust. If you are confident you are doing the utmost of your abilities, if you always aim for the stars, you most definitely will reach the sky.

There is no limit to what you can do if you truly aspire high. Regardless of what anyone says. Despite what your inhibitions are.

The only thing preventing you from becoming who you dream of is your own hesitations.

“It’s not who you are that is holding you back. It’s who you think you are not.”

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The ‘happily ever after’ we seek

We grow up believing in fairy tale endings. That everything can just happen so simply and effortlessly and we’ll all live ‘happily ever after’.

No one really tells you though that effort is required from both sides at all times. That it takes two to make any happy ending work. That you need to invest time, presence, and comprehension in the other person. That love sometimes is not enough. We want someone who can stand us at our worst, be joyful with us at our best, and have the patience to endure all the mood swings in between. No one tells you that it’s not easy.

We somehow believe that we’ll meet, our eyes will cross, our hearts will flutter, our hands will touch, and that it all easily leads off to a happy ever after. But what happens after that? When routine sets in and you need to fight for attention, for being present, for maintaining that spark, for remembering that very first feeling? That emotion that still lightens up your face when you recount how you first met?

Nothing worthy is easy. That is something we keep hearing.

But we need to both want it to work. We need to have a common path to walk on. And a single direction to look at.

That’s how a forever after is created. Together.

The pretty side

©Dale Rogerson

Pictures tell stories. That’s why we often take so many of them. Because we try to capture the sentiment of the moment with each click. The happiness, the wonder, the amazement, the company, the love.

Drawings demonstrate our inner feelings. What we usually hide even from ourselves. They’re an expression of what our mind does not speak. That’s why they are sometimes so abstract; they reflect the chaos in our hearts and heads.

Graffiti can be works of art too. They make even the ugliest of buildings seem beautiful. Because everything can have a pretty side if someone reveals it.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Imagine that

©MCD

Imagine if we had the courage to say everything we wanted to each other without the fear that we would be misunderstood.

Imagine feeling as loved and appreciated as we desired.

Imagine if everything we imagined turned out to be real.

But what if instead of imagining we tried to live it all?

What if we truly listened to each other without criticism or prejudice?

What if we dismissed the negative thoughts that overtake our minds and expect more joy and accept less pain?

Wouldn’t it all be easier that way?

Wouldn’t it be more peaceful?

Would it not relieve all doubt and make it all worthwhile?

Just imagine that.

Your most important ally

Why do we act like we do? It is a question that has troubled people throughout the ages – from philosophers, writers, sociologists, and psychologists, to modern therapists of all sorts. Why do we behave in certain ways? What triggers us to give resonance to certain thoughts and thinking motives over others? Why do we allow our minds to take so much control of our emotional reactions? What leaves us powerless before our own selves?

Taking charge of oneself is not an easy task. It requires you to understand yourself first. To come to terms with who you are, what affects you and why, and what you can do about it. It necessitates a process of observation above all. To realise first what is happening, to then accept it, and to often forgive yourself for it. We need to be kinder to ourselves, to talk ourselves up instead of down, to treat ourselves like the royalty that we are and to lift ourselves higher than we very often do.

Once we offer ourselves the value we deserve, and acknowledge it too, everything will change – both inside and outside. Because once you can deal with your internal turbulence, the exterior circumstances will seem a breeze. Things will affect you less and certainly not with the same force or attracting the same demeanour on your part. You will be able to allow things to slide and just accept that some things just are as such and there is not much you can do to control them. But even that is OK.

It’s all good if you first and foremost feel good inside.

Kings or Pawns

It was Napoleon who said that “in this life we are either kings or pawns; emperors or fouls.” He was right, you know.

You either choose to react to anything you don’t agree with in this world and be named a rebel, or you remain a victim (and accomplice) to it.

Take so many instances of daily life: that job you’re expected to do asap – meaning yesterday – and you’re constantly pressed for time, but when you’re anticipating a reply, the other party takes all the time in the world. That ‘urgent’ matter that in reality is of minor importance yet is presented as a life-changing event for which you must stop everything else to address.

Those bills you’re called to pay for which you are often given no justification but which you are obliged to in every way and are threatened with fines if you don’t.

And the worst of all is that argument that “that’s what everyone does”, or “that’s how it is”, or even more, “that’s how it’s always been”.

Just think of flies: millions of them are attracted to crap, but that doesn’t mean this would be delicious for you too.

Remember: Just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s right. And just because no one is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

So why not alter things?

Just because something has been done for so long in a certain way doesn’t necessarily mean it is the right way, or that there is no better mode to achieve the desired end. But if you don’t try to differentiate, you’ll never know. You won’t find something else – something potentially better – if you don’t take a different path.

But it is essentially your choice. Because every change begins with a vision and a decision to take action. And change begins at the end of your comfort zone. Growth and evolution occur the minute you decide to break that conventional / traditional cycle.

You will decide who you want to be and how you want to react in this world. Chin up or head down. The choice is yours.

Set limits

There is a simple truth we tend to realise the hard way, after suffering too much disappointment in people: not everyone is worth your time.

We need to set limits not to keep others away, but to protect our own selves.

The world has fallen apart because we envy and hate more than we admire and love.

Solidarity is just a word, not an action.

So many empty statements are made, filled with hypocrisy and feint that it is not easy to trust anyone anymore.

We need to clear our lives of toxic, narcissistic people who have nothing real to offer us; to tear off their masks so we can alleviate ourselves from the burden of trying to please everyone to the extent that we neglect our own well-being.

‘No’ is in fact a complete sentence. We need to start saying it more so life can smile upon us.

Everything comes at the right timing, as long as we are able to deal with the situations we are called to face.

To remain optimistic, we need to have positive, smiling people around us.

But unfortunately, those genuinely rejoicing with your happiness are rare to find.

Support in actions

If you observe the signs around you, you’ll see a lot more than what you’re asking for in a verbal communication. That is, there are some things words cannot express.

Not everyone can – or will – communicate in the way you expect or want them to. Each person has their own way of demonstrating affection. You just have to be open enough to see it.

Sometimes, showing that you care is simply by keeping the house warm for your partner, cooking dinner when their too busy, or simply calling to check in.

There are many ways to be there, even if you’re not physically present.

And at the end of the long, hard days we often have, all we really need is to feel loved and thought of.

What we seek

There is a saying that if we seek something that same thing is seeking us. But, is this even true?

Because what is it that we’re really looking for?

We ourselves are unsure of what we want, what we’re searching, what we long for. We’ve created a world so complex and uncertain that nothing seems to be enough to make us feel complete. Be it love, happiness, money, career, or just calm, there is no real answer we can give.

The most certain thing is that we find it so easy to whine and nag about anything and everything. Like that childish game of crying it out until what you want is given to you. But the real world does not work that way. And we have a hard time comprehending that.

Perhaps humans don’t have the capacity to manage so much information at one time. Even during multitasking, there is something that lacks in quality. We seem to be running around in multiple directions, often without a concrete or clear purpose, that we end up neither living in the present nor planning for the future.

Our existence only gains purpose if we have a clear sense of what we’re doing now.

But we tend to overlook that.

And that’s where the problem starts.

Safe Haven

There is a place where you go to disappear when the world becomes too much.

A place where you feel safe and know that no one will judge, criticise or undermine you.

There is a place with people who always greet you with open arms, and comfort you even at the times you don’t know that is what you need.

There is a place we all have where we resort to when we simply want to forget all our worries, troubles, problems. And just sleep.

There is a place we call home. And it offers all these things for free. With the added bonus of including people who love you unconditionally.

Home is the place we return to – unfortunately – not too often. But it is where we recharge, rejuvenate, and regain the strength to continue fighting for survival in this strange world.