MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “non-fiction”

The only way is up

©MCD

There is a wonderful quote by Soren Kierkegaard that often comes to mind in tumultuous times: “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards”. We thus need to learn from the past but keep moving.

At times of emotional charge, we tend to think that we’re constantly running into our past no matter how much we try to avoid it. We see hurtful behaviours repeating, and we’re drawn into the same vicious pattern of not understanding what isn’t functioning as it should or as it so promisingly appeared to at the start.

When we’re faced with new opportunities, we want a refreshing start. We feel that there is so much out there to discover and it is revitalising when someone acknowledges your value (sometimes even more than you) and is offering you the chance to expand your potential.

The key is to not give up even when you feel you’ve hit rock bottom. There is only one way left after that, and that is up.

Whom you share good news with is a sign of whom you consider family. It’s the same people who will console you and help you pick up your pieces when you’re too exhausted too. Those people who despite their own troubles will be happy for you in your success and support you regardless. We want that cheering crowd for us. It helps us move forward.

Not stopping is what will help us survive, after all. And let’s remember, “every action you take is a vote for the person you wish to become” (James Clear), so make your habits regular actions of excellence that will only serve to raise your value.

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Let’s make a pact

You know those New Year resolutions we already forget in the second week of the year? Well, what if we were consistent in keeping them? Or rather, what if we set more feasible goals that were easier and more plausible to implement?

We have this hope – or expectation if you please – that what we’re doing on the first day of the year is how we’ll spend the rest of the year too. So, we put on our most elegant clothes, choose the company of our most loved ones, and try to be as happy as possible having fun. But is that illusion realistic? That we can maintain this atmosphere and emotion all 365 days through?

Life has its ups and downs and that is a reality we cannot ignore.

Stress is inevitable, as a psychiatrist friend highlights, we’re bound to be thrown off balance, but the emotional anxiety it is accompanied with is something we can be trained to manage.

When we allow ourselves to fall into unprecedented bursts of anger it’s because we’ve been suppressing too many feelings for too long, of the sentiment that our viewpoint is not being understood no matter how hard we try to explain ourselves. Panic attacks set in because we’re not able to promptly manage the stress that surrounds us. But what if we could train our minds to be as happy, calm, and serene as on that very first day of the new year? It’s not easy. But it’s not impossible either.

When something goes wrong, we are bombarded with a myriad of thoughts, mostly negative. But what we most lament is the time we lost. We feel that we are in a constant race against time in life and when things go south it’s the first thing that comes to mind and causes additional anguish. The time we allow to pass without doing the things that help us grow, things that we enjoy, being in places that calm us, being embraced and pampered by the people we love.

When we’re having fun, we don’t pay attention to how quickly time passes. When we’re not, that’s when it becomes more obvious. Because we miss things. We miss the things that bring a smile to our face, the people who make us laugh, but most of all the person we are when we’re with them.

What if we made a resolution to be stronger this year? To tolerate more but also less, to set healthy boundaries (which is always not as easy as it sounds), to laugh more and sustain yourself as best as you can?

What if we made a pact to make the most of every single passing minute?

Where the door is always open

©Fleur Lind

Family is the people you run to when your heart is broken to alleviate your sorrow when life gets too much.

Family is the people you constantly quarrel with and sometimes can’t stand, but simultaneously the ones you miss terribly when they’re away.

Family is the people who buy you scratch cards simply to see you smile when you win. The ones who take you on long walks, rambling along the way, just to make you forget your own troubles.

Family is where a door is always open for you to return because the love is unconditional. Always and forever.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

The vastness out there

©MCD

Our time has become strange. It’s that portion of future history books that no one will be able to fully explain or rationally justify the reasons why things happen. People have become insane in every sense. We’re losing our grip on our selves, our actions, what we can control and what not, and most importantly our minds. There is a lot of anger out there; tension that cannot be relieved, unhealthy sentimental eruptions leading to what we dub as toxic. Actions that make no sense and cannot be predicted. But all are resulting in a negative flow of what has by now become a mundane routine. We are not shocked by anything anymore because nothing surprises us.

What if we changed our perspective? What if we – tried at least – to silence the negativity our minds speak to us?

Get out.

Of your head, your house, your situations.

Walk it off.

Just be alone with yourself and the nature surrounding you.

Breathe.

Let your eyes gaze beyond the horizon.

Realise how vast the world is and how tiny a part of it we are.

Change the way you see things and soon you’ll realise that things will themselves change too.

It’s not all that bad. You just think it is and you’ve convinced yourself it’s so.

Majestic

©MCD

When a child is born you see slogans flying around that a prince or princess has arrived. You want to do whatever you can to offer them everything their heart desires. And as we grow, we are prone to believe that we deserve the best precisely because we were raised to believe we’re royalty – perhaps not of blood but of spirit at least.

That’s why walking into a majestic room reminiscent of Renaissance century-old palaces makes you unconsciously change your posture to stand up straight and have your chin up.

We seek that feeling that we deserve diamonds and sparkles and fine wine and gourmet dining because we need that sense that we’re taking care of ourselves. If no one else gives us these pleasures of life, we can well provide for ourselves regardless. It just feels better to have someone to share the royalties with.

Fireworks all year

©MCD

Do you know why we use fireworks, sparkles and bangs to welcome the New Year? It stems from centuries-old traditions that sound and light made evil spirits afraid and were thus used to ward off evil.

We too hope that by filling the final month of the year and the subsequent first of the new one with lights and glitter will help bring luck, fortune, prosperity, health and blessings to our life.

Have you noticed how we light up inside and the world seems happier with all the festive decorations during the Christmas and New Year season?

We don’t need much to be happy and bloom. But we often forget that we are the creators of our well-being and happiness.

So let’s make a resolution this year to keep ourselves as happy as we begin the new months, to spread love just as we wish to receive it, and to keep the hope alive that everything will work out for the best with new adventures lying ahead.

Happy New Year everyone!

Profound wishes all year through

It’s usually birthdays that give us a chance to review and reflect on where you’ve been and where you’re going. But the eve of a New Year fills you with determination and a goal-oriented mindset to improve things, to change, to evolve, to get out of the ‘same old’ and into something new, better, and exciting.

We look forward to new adventures with the passion to create new memories, surrounded by people with love and moments filled with laughter. We want to let go of the baggage we carry – be it emotional, psychological, or literal. We want to walk forward lighter, happier, and with a more optimistic outlook on life. Because the truth is that nothing is as idyllic as we hoped or we imagined, and most things in this life are beyond our control. We can manage our own reactions and response to everything though. And sometimes, things do happen for us and not to us.

So let’s commit to making these resolutions true all year round and not just the first couple of weeks. Let’s allow our actions to talk for us. Let’s share our moments of happiness and love with the people around us and not on our social media. And let’s vow to make this year the best yet, with nothing (and no one) less but with more and profound – more experience, more smiles, more growth in every aspect.

Here’s to a New Year full of sparkles and bangs and excitement all 12 months through!

Happy New Year everyone!

Kings or Pawns

It was Napoleon who said that “in this life we are either kings or pawns; emperors or fouls.” He was right, you know.

You either choose to react to anything you don’t agree with in this world and be named a rebel, or you remain a victim (and accomplice) to it.

Take so many instances of daily life: that job you’re expected to do asap – meaning yesterday – and you’re constantly pressed for time, but when you’re anticipating a reply, the other party takes all the time in the world. That ‘urgent’ matter that in reality is of minor importance yet is presented as a life-changing event for which you must stop everything else to address.

Those bills you’re called to pay for which you are often given no justification but which you are obliged to in every way and are threatened with fines if you don’t.

And the worst of all is that argument that “that’s what everyone does”, or “that’s how it is”, or even more, “that’s how it’s always been”.

Just think of flies: millions of them are attracted to crap, but that doesn’t mean this would be delicious for you too.

Remember: Just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s right. And just because no one is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

So why not alter things?

Just because something has been done for so long in a certain way doesn’t necessarily mean it is the right way, or that there is no better mode to achieve the desired end. But if you don’t try to differentiate, you’ll never know. You won’t find something else – something potentially better – if you don’t take a different path.

But it is essentially your choice. Because every change begins with a vision and a decision to take action. And change begins at the end of your comfort zone. Growth and evolution occur the minute you decide to break that conventional / traditional cycle.

You will decide who you want to be and how you want to react in this world. Chin up or head down. The choice is yours.

When you think you’ve failed, you haven’t

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Thomas Edison stumbled and failed numerous times before achieving one of humanity’s greatest discoveries: the light bulb.  But he never gave up. That was what made him succeed.

“I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.” This is one of his most famous quotes, used abundantly for motivation and inspiration when we feel lost.

He also said that “when you think you’ve exhausted all options, remember this: you haven’t.”

We limit our own selves by what we choose to believe.

The world has far more to offer than what our mind tells us.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Learn, thrive, and grow together

It’s a skill knowing when to stop a tiff from developing into a full-grown quarrel. It takes patience and a lot of struggle to reach the point of constraint, of choosing to walk away and quieten down rather than engage in a fight not worth having.

It takes time to learn things. Any thing.

Like the fact that you cannot force people to change. No matter how much you love them or care for them. Regardless of how deeply you let them in, people will only understand what they want. And they will alter their ways only when they truly desire. But just like a selfish person cannot become more caring, an altruist cannot suddenly stop placing others first and only look out for their own benefit. It goes both ways.

It is a wonder, really: is there something in between either feeling everything so profoundly or hardly sensing anything at all?

We are so accustomed to the stories we tell ourselves, those deafening voices in our heads that convince us to try more, to talk more, to press more in the hope that we’ll put ourselves out there and people will finally see us for who we are, for what we’re worth, for the value we so long for them to acknowledge. Yet in this, we fail to see that what we intend as effort, as nurturing care, and affection, to others seems as a suffocating attempt to change their beliefs and attitudes. We judge ourselves on our intentions and not on how we make the other person feel. We act in the way we consider as ‘common sense’ and obvious, but it is not so for everyone, and we often fail to realise that people seldom think and act the same way. Our cheerful ramble confiding in another a portion of our day may be regarded as moaning and just noisy chatter. We feel disappointed and rejected because we’ve created an expectation in our head that is hardly ever met. We set out already knowing what we want to see, and are shattered when it doesn’t play out as such.

Perhaps the biggest mistake we make is taking everything too personally; even when that is how it seems, we are rarely the reason people act like they do. The real cause for people’s behaviour lies within themselves, their upbringing, their experiences, their fears, their influences, their social surroundings, or even just the noise in their own heads.

True relationships – of any sort – help us do three essential things: learn together, grow together, and thrive together. Having fun is just a bonus. Any relationship makes you better in every single way possible. That’s the point of it after all.

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