MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “non-fiction”

A room for you

©Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

We all need a room of our own. A space we can escape to. To dream, create, meditate, dance, sing or simply to be silent in. Four walls in which the world is locked out and we forge our own rules and conditions of how things operate.

We need our own room for our own mental sanity.

Because regardless, there are moments you need to regroup. To regain yourself, to gather your thoughts, to reconsider your perspective on life, what you did right and wrong.

We need an area to get lost in so that we can find ourself again.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Weekends are for relaxing

©MCD

We seem to be spending too much of the (working) week looking forward to the weekend. Those two days that we can escape the chaos and irrationality that constitute our daily contemporary lives.

In essence, though, we’re anticipating this end of week so much because we need it. We ought to relax and our very organisms are actually calling for it. It is a sign that we’re experiencing life in rhythms that our beyond natural; we stress too much over meaningless things; we anguish and rush; we work, sleep, and eat at irregular tempo and hours.

We need a couple of days to do nothing that entails a tight schedule and an alarm clock. To allow ourselves to lie in, to walk on the beach, to go for a coffee, to meet friends, to engage in endless conversations, and to not think about the passing time.

We know we’ve relaxed and replenished, when all we’ve done is sleep and surrender to leisure, and just like that the weekend has passed, without us realising exactly how. But we feel complete and happy, and that’s what truly matters. And what will help us get through another week.

Clean Slate

© Na’ama Yehuda

Love stories of the past are like wilted flowers. Their time – and season – has ended. They were wonderful while they lasted, but they had a due date. And it has expired.

We need to let them go. Throw them out so that we have space to bring in new ones. Fresh, colourful, scented, alive. Ones that remind us that there is a bright future ahead and it’s up to us to make it prosperous.

We can remember, but it should not affect us. Perhaps that is the hardest to master.

Some flowers last forever; those we should nourish.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Learn to relax

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In a daily routine that we’ve become so accustomed to constantly being engaged with something, how do you truly manage to relax and unwind?

Relaxing is increasingly difficult in our always-on digital world”, as this excellent article explains.

We are always busy with something, occupying our minds with often useless information, so much that we don’t know what to do in situations when we have no screen to look at and nothing to keep our hands or minds busy with.

The paradox of this world of technological ease and plenty is that we find ourselves unable to relax and switch off. We simply don’t know how to do this anymore.

There are also “periods of time when your mind is so exhausted and overwhelmed it takes itself out of the situation”; when we’re not even engaged in what we’re looking at – totally zoning out, not being able to recall what we’ve done for the last half-hour. It’s as if our mind itself is disassociating itself from its surroundings.

But yet we are still unable to completely switch off.

We live in such hectic rhythms on a daily basis that we find ourselves unable to cope with days off. With not having responsibilities, obligations, or simply something to pass the time with.

Walking outdoors, taking a hike, a bike ride, a road trip, seem “too much trouble” and we dread the idea of finding ourselves somewhere without satellite reception that we’ll be “cut-off from the world” no matter how short a time this will last.

Like everything else in our process of development, we need to learn to relax and switch-off.

It will help us view the world in a different perspective; change mentality on a few things; and perhaps even enable us to adopt a healthier lifestyle.  

Set limits

There is a simple truth we tend to realise the hard way, after suffering too much disappointment in people: not everyone is worth your time.

We need to set limits not to keep others away, but to protect our own selves.

The world has fallen apart because we envy and hate more than we admire and love.

Solidarity is just a word, not an action.

So many empty statements are made, filled with hypocrisy and feint that it is not easy to trust anyone anymore.

We need to clear our lives of toxic, narcissistic people who have nothing real to offer us; to tear off their masks so we can alleviate ourselves from the burden of trying to please everyone to the extent that we neglect our own well-being.

‘No’ is in fact a complete sentence. We need to start saying it more so life can smile upon us.

Everything comes at the right timing, as long as we are able to deal with the situations we are called to face.

To remain optimistic, we need to have positive, smiling people around us.

But unfortunately, those genuinely rejoicing with your happiness are rare to find.

Pull up a chair

© Dale Rogerson

The best thing about having a yard (or a balcony) is that you can go outside and watch the world go by, without actually needing to socialise with anyone.

It helped during those unprecedented lockdowns. And it certainly serves this very purpose when you’re caught in a loop of not really wanting to see or talk to anyone, but want to be outside.

Snowy days are the best for this.

It’s too dangerous to slip and break, and thus it’s recommended to not go outside.

So pull up a chair, lay back, relax, and just observe life as it happens.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Pause and breathe

There is always something to do in a day. If you want to, you can find tonnes of things to keep you occupied – doing your actual work being a fundamental one.

But the thing is, nowadays, we lack the will to do pretty much anything.

We may blame it on languishing, the phenomenon of our times. But it may also be due to a series of reasons.

Life’s hectic rhythms sometimes result in us being too exhausted to be productive. And we realise that if we pressure ourselves, whatever we deliver will not be up to our own high standards. Perhaps that is why we prefer to do anything else, other than our obligations. And that anything else is often nothing. (Unless binging on TV series and Netflix counts as something).

We need days off. If anything to clear our minds and actually relax. Those moments we spent as kids just lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, daydreaming; well, they were actually priceless. Now, we seem to be lacking time for a proper meal, let alone for an instance of losing ourselves in space.

But it is necessary to breathe. To hit pause and do nothing, simply so we can get back on track of actually doing all the things that we’re used to filling our days with.

Keep calm and sail on

It’s scary when everything seems to flow in order.

It feels like you’re waiting for the storm to arrive.

As if you’re in a canoe blissfully sailing calmly in a river, birds chirping all around, sun shining above, and a cool breeze complementing the ride, but all of a sudden you reach the end of a cliff and a steep waterfall awaits, where – like in movies – you have nowhere to hold on to and you end up falling off, screaming at the top of your lungs, before diving into the water below.

Yes, it might be an exaggeration, or an overreaction, or maybe both.

But nothing lasts forever – neither good nor bad times – and perhaps that is what is most terrifying when it’s all good.

There is not much you can do though, other than what most motivational speakers, life gurus and the like prompt you to: take each day as it comes. Live the moment and you’ll soon see that in creating and indulging in every instant, you build a life, one you’re happy and proud of, and which fulfills every essence of your being.

And that’s all that matters.

Seeking advice

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We seek advice from others because it is often deafening to quarrel with the sound of your own voice inside your head. We feel the need for an exterior perspective, in case we’re missing something given that we’re so deep in the situation we’re experiencing.

Perhaps it is true that “advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t” (Erica Jong) or maybe it’s just that we look to others to help us find a solution we’re too blind to see.

Talking to others – to the right others – most times helps us clarify things that are fogging our own judgement. It makes us see a clearer picture by getting out of the circle of our own bias and viewing a more spherical perspective.

But there is a catch in turning to friends – or professionals – for help: they’re not you. And whatever they tell you, they’re not the ones who will have to live with the decisions you make.

Not all friends want what’s best for you, neither does everyone understand how you feel, how you react, your idiosyncrasies, needs or desires. But most importantly, no one really knows what you should do in any given situation; opinions are not facts; they’re merely a perspective of reality. And each person behaves differently, leading to a diverse outcome each time. There is no ‘one-shoe-fits-all’ solution to all of our problems. Plus not all ‘friends’ want what is best for you; jealousy is a vicious characteristic.

Remember this: “You are the expert on you and even if you don’t know something, nobody can know what’s best for you better than you. So start trusting your gut instincts more and listen to other so-called experts less”.

“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm” (Joshua Miller)

Magnificent ruins

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

It’s not easy to be left wondering why. Racking your mind to find the reason something fell apart. Like a magnificent civilisation that crumbled into pieces and all that is left behind is the ruins we visit, as a sign of our glorious past.

We don’t seem to learn from history. And we keep repeating the same mistakes.

Because we somehow believe that this time things will be different. That we deserve better and we hope we’ve found it.

We forgive too easily because we long for something better.

We expect too much, because we are willing to offer more.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

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