MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “non-fiction”

A day of unfortunate events

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There is a belief that if something happens one, it’s just luck. If it happens twice, it may be a coincidence. But if it is repeated, then you need to look into it.

It’s sort of how it goes with various days of the week. We all have one specific day which we associate with bad luck or a series of things just not going our way.

For most it’s a Monday, which is usually an OK day until it upsets you.

You realise how your day will go from the way you wake up. Fighting with your alarm clock doesn’t count, because you do that almost every day.

If you’re forced to jump out of bed though – most often on account of a deafening noise or a bell ringing – then your entire mood is unavoidably affected.

Wishful thinking isn’t always enough. Wishing you’d win the lottery won’t help if you don’t play at all. The law of attraction, however, may have something to do with it all, even if it is the negative thoughts that get realised more often than not.

But some days, no matter how much you struggle to keep an optimistic scope on things, life has a way of laughing at your face at how many incidents can be overturned in one single day.

It’s difficult to find something positive to turn events around when you’re constantly bombarded from all over. But the things is, when you do; when you manage to stay strong; you’ll get rewarded for it.

“This is the best day the world has ever seen. Tomorrow will be better” – R. A. Campbell

When we say we’re fine

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When people ask each other “how are you?”, the response is a reflex answer of “fine, and you?”. Rarely does the question delve deeper into how the other person actually is. We ask about our news, our novelties, our gossip, work, relationships etc, but hardly does anyone actually look into how we really are; how we feel, in what mental state we are in.

This year (2020) has been hard. Almost six months have passed, and we have but a few days in which things actually progressed and we have something to show for them. Otherwise, all we have done is stayed at home, explored our neighbourhoods, developed our cooking skills, irritated the people we live with, become depressed at being alone, and wasted an obscene amount of time on Netflix and social media.

Undeniably, even doing a bare minimum – or absolutely nothing – takes a toll on our mental health. We tell each other we’re fine to believe it is true. Because if we don’t overanalyze, we won’t have to admit to ourselves that deep down we are not as great as we want to appear. We are lacking security, the freedom of movement, the capacity to make plans again, having something to look forward to, the prospect that we will get to see our loved ones again soon in a scheduled time and date without the fear of risking a new lockdown or quarantine measures being imposed on you.

We’re only as fine as we believe ourselves to be. Yet, we prefer not to talk about what is bugging us in an attempt to override it. It’s like sweeping the dust under the carpet. Just because we can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Mood swings and mental breakdowns don’t necessarily need professional help to be overcome or healed. Sometimes all we really need is people around us who care enough to offer the help we don’t dare to ask for. It’s enough to know that there are friends and family there who can offer a hug, a random talk when needed, and a simple confirmation that we’re not facing things alone. Because in the end, what we all need is the sentiment that better days are coming no matter what, and the incentive to garner the patience to deal with it all.

Writing down the truths we cannot say

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It is often urged as a step to healing to write down your emotions, your thoughts, everything you keep inside. It is believed that putting the thoughts inside your head on paper is actually a therapeutic form of tension release. The toxins that you keep locked inside will flow via ink on paper and relieve you from the stress.

But it is also a way of getting to terms with a truth you keep concealed even from yourself.

There are so many things going on inside our minds that we tell no one. Sometimes we don’t even admit them to ourselves.

And often that is what hurts us the most. Failure to acknowledge facts keeps our emotions perplexed and maintains our mood in a complex state.

In short, we cannot fix what we do not accept.

So we are urged to write.

We write down made-up stories to tell the truths we wish we could say out loud.

And in these, we hope to find some consolation, some relief, some healing.

Be your own captain

©MCD

In a sea of torments, become your own captain.

Learn to navigate through the storms, to overcome the waves of anguish your mind creates;

To surpass the monsters that rage inside of you.

Learn to maintain your calm and rationale in the depths of the ocean, in the heart of the tempests and in the midst of the darkest nights.

Trust your intuition; know that sometimes your instinct knows best and will lead you to shore.

The downpour won’t last forever.

Prepare your mind and soul for it.

Also part of Weekend Writing Prompt #158

Close attachment

It is said that the problem with the modern world is that we become too attached to things and give them more importance than we do to people. Or perhaps the problem is that we become too attached in general.

The truth is, we become attached to things and people in which and whom we seek to find ourselves. It is the memories we become attached to, the things we reminisce when looking at a thing, or when being with a person. It’s that feeling that revives inside of us when we are around them.

My laptop crashed suddenly yesterday evening. It only took a second to happen, but it changed everything. My laptop is both my work and my pleasure. So you can imagine there is a lifetime building on it every single day. It’s as if having a best friend in the form of an object. And it just…crashed, leaving a feeling of having ripped out a part of me.

It’s not the object itself we become so tightly bound to. It is everything it represents for us, all the things it got us through when there was no one else around, all the aspects of our character that we forged around it and through it, the hopes and dreams we invested in it, and all the moments it represents for us.

So in essence, it is not the things we are really attached to. It is that part of ourselves that we found through them.

When you realise you deserve better

©Dawn Miller

When your body and mind are asking for a break, the best thing to do is respect it. Leave. Go out of town to a secluded countryside and breathe.

Let go of all the toxicity that is infiltrating your life. From all the wrong people with their abusive and bad-mannered behaviours, to every single thing that is costing you your peace of mind.

You are easily disappointed because you expect from others all the things you’d be willing to do for them.

When you realise you deserve better, things begin to change.

And you begin to shine a bit brighter.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Art inside

Michelangelo had said that “every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it”. The same is true for people. We all hide something great inside, waiting for the right circumstances to externalise, to gain form and light.

Like an artist expresses something of himself on a sculpture, so we too live our lives as an expression of who we are.

Also part of Weekend Writing Prompt #144

Mentality is a way of life

©MCD_Agrigento

There is a saying that we travel not to escape life, but so that life does not escape us. Going somewhere different not only breaks your routine and revives you, but it also allows you to open your eyes and mind to things you never even considered before.

Not everyone thinks or acts the same way we do, and we generally have this ingrained belief that what ‘our people’ do is the norm, the standard against which everyone else is compared or measured.

The truth is though, when we travel, we might find alternatives that may even be better to our way of life. We may see things and people who change our perspectives. We may even talk to locals and find out that they are more calm, relaxed and happy living in what seems like a backward village, than others who live in big cities.

We see people smiling without any particular reason, who always have something good to say and who wish you a pleasant day without knowing you at all. That is just who they are and what they are used to. Kindness is a way of life.

It is these same people who know how to keep calm in every situation, who find no reason in getting angry or irritated at something they cannot control. They follow traditions that they have grown with and see no point in altering them if they still work well.

Because in the end, it is not the technology that makes people advanced; it is their mentality. And that is the most difficult thing of all to change.

Be the Bee

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And there, at the end of a day that touched upon the verge of “this was too much” and “when did it already get dark”, you experience something that changes you. That affects your mindset so much that you begin to see things differently.

In every period of our lives, we tend to seek people who are going through similar issues and have a similar take on things. It is our natural inclination to seek allies, because in them we find the compassion, empathy and understanding we long for.

When we meet people who inspire us, we are mentally and psychologically elevated. We begin to realise our own true value. And that is when we acknowledge that people drown not by falling into the river, but by remaining in it.

So take a deep breath and change things. People either inspire or exhaust you. Get out of situations you don’t like or agree with. We are the only ones who can save ourselves.

Life is unpredictable like that. We don’t always get the answers we seek or think we deserve, and we need to just accept reality for what it is and move on. Because things do happen for a reason, even if at the time we don’t see it. But the truth is, we can survive more than we think possible, and then we’re amazed by how much stronger that makes us.

Things and people come into your life the moment you need them, to help you get on the right path. To help you realise the value of your own worth. The only person who needs convincing is yourself.

There is a saying that people are either flies or bees. The bee will be able to find a flower even in a rubbish dump. The fly will be attracted by manure even in the most beautiful of gardens.

Always be the bee.

Alternating circles

Birthdays, a good friend told me, are the perfect date to set new goals, to rethink your stance, to start anew, because it is on this day that your life began; that you began. It is on our birthday that we realise how many things change in a year. How different our lives are now from 12 months ago, or from simply one month ago. Time passes by rapidly and if we are not careful, life will pass us by.

It’s not to ponder on the past and forget to live, though. Strength comes from constantly moving forward, continuously evolving and wanting to improve every aspect of yourself and your quality of life.

Hope springs from standing in the dark and looking for the stars. It’s the pressure we impose on ourselves to never give up because better things are coming and the need to believe this is true.

We need to change habits every once in a while. It’s part of the circles that close and new ones that open. To find new people that will enrich our lives and make us better, who will match our level.

Unfortunately, not everyone who comes into our lives stays. And we realise that the people who we thought we couldn’t live without are no longer a necessary part of our lives. There are those who never fought for us, who could live without us first and who left on their own accord. Those who proved they were unworthy of all our love and devotion because they didn’t know how to appreciate or reciprocate it. Those who blamed us for their own inadequate behaviour and demanded things they themselves could not provide. Those who make us regret ever giving them a part of our lives, our world, our heart. Because in the end, those who matter are those who value us, who remain no matter what, who always remember you on your special day, who are there regardless everything else and who love unconditionally.

Each person is responsible for their own attitude and the way they behave – be it their reactions, their words, their actions or inaction, their decency (if any).

It takes time to realise things we were so used to overseeing. Because it takes time for the mind to change course, to alternate its circle of thinking. Time won’t heal your wounds, it will just make it easier for you to live with the scars.

Birthdays are a chance to evaluate where you stand in chasing your dreams and the life you desire. To set new goals, to get back on track with what you want. And what most people want are simple things: to be healthy, happy and loved.

A new birthday year offers 365 new opportunities to do that. To find our way again and make it a better year. Let’s do our best to make it worth it.

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