The way we feel about it all

We tend to associate people with events, circumstances, and above all emotions. It’s the feeling they evoke when we first meet. That aura they radiate. The vibes they emit. You know you click with someone from the first instance you set eyes on each other. And your intuition is often never wrong.

The thing is, if we encounter people at a negative condition, it’s very difficult to revoke that prejudice about them that we’ve already created. We may forget the event, or what actually happened, but what remains is how it made us feel. And feelings are an important part of who we are. They affect every single thing – from our attitude, our words our perspective, to our appetite.

It’s true that the chaos and irrationality that govern our everyday lives certainly do not help calm our often inexplicable nerves and agitation. But we try. We invest effort constantly to maintain a mental serenity that will help us get through the day, the week, the month, and so forth. It’s not always easy. And we certainly require some assistance in changing the way we feel. Perhaps we think too much about it all. Because our experience of life is seamless and smooth until the moment we stop to rationalise it all, to overthink, overanalyse and often overreact about it.

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The mistakes we make

We all spend certain periods pondering on everything we go through, mainly trying to realise the mistakes we make and what went wrong in dealing with them.

The biggest mistake we make is allowing people to stay in our lives far longer than they deserve.

We put up with behaviours that are toxic.

And we usually are to blame for that because we see it coming; we see them behaving perfectly one day, and then disappearing the next.

We waste time because we want to believe people change.

But the truth is, people only change if they really want to; not because you want them to.

Being nice is one thing; but we need to learn to say ‘no’,

You’ll see it’s liberating.

To set limits. To say ‘enough’ and end things. To move on and change whatever you don’t like.

We live in a society so twisted, that we’re surprised when we meet someone ‘normal’, with whom we can communicate without too much effort, who makes us laugh with witty humour, and, above all, who stays, who shows a consistency in their initial, pleasant and courteous behaviour.

It’s a shame that this is now the case. Because we sort of take all that for granted, or as common sense.

Kindness should be a given. But if you pay attention, you’ll realise that even a smile nowadays is rare. That’s why people who wear it more actually shine brighter.

Still new

It’s the people you meet who change you. Who make you who you are. Who help you see the world differently.

Every person comes into your life and gives you something. Maybe it’s not obvious from the start, but you’ll soon realise it.

We often see ourselves through the eyes of others. And that alters the way we view life.

We too are like pre-loved toys. Previously used, but still new.

Also part of Weekend Writing Prompt #223

An optimistic thought

Every person you meet is a potential friend, contact, associate. Think about it. Your soulmate may be hidden behind the next eyes you contact at a first glance. Your best friend may be the person whose hand you’ll timidly shake. An associate may be found in the face you stutter at during an ice-breaking chat.

Every meeting is a possible life-changing one.

Isn’t that an optimistic and hopeful thought to make?

We never really know the truth in the expression “pleasure to meet you”, which we say in greeting someone new. We only acknowledge its true sense after time has passed and we get to know that person in depth. Sometimes it’s not a pleasure at all. But we don’t start off that way. We begin with the hope that this will be a significant encounter; one that will last and will be mutually beneficial and fruitful.

There are all sorts of people we meet. Some stay with us constantly, others come and go, and others only make a brief passage. But there is a sense of relief and gratitude in knowing that special relationships are never lost. People whom you’ve experienced things with in the past, who were part of your life, no matter how short or long a period, will always be there when you (or they) need help. That’s what friendship is.

We tend to seek reciprocity in our relations. But sometimes, what you give takes a long time to come back to you – if at all. That should not be the reason for doing what we do, however. We act in kindness because it’s a character trait. Put simply, it’s nice to be nice. And it’s definitely gratifying. It adds a spring to your step and a smile to your face. And all you really need in the end, is someone who asks how you are, who wants patiently to listen to your response, and who you can hear smiling in genuine satisfaction when all is well.

An overture worthwhile

Remember when we used to go to theatres or movies; we never really paid attention to the soundtrack that dressed the entire story with a musical essence. But the truth is, the overture was the part were the entire progress of the plot could be read. It’s usually one setting the pace or feeling of what is to follow. And it’s often one that sticks in your head long after the end.

With certain people it is also like that. They may be slow to open up, but once you get closer, you realise you wonderful they are. And when you look back on how you met them and how their friendship has evolved into an integral part of your life, you realise that the overture was simply a beautiful prelude to what was coming.

Also part of Your Daily Word Prompt

Right is right regardless

We, people, are too concerned about appearances. About what other people think. About how we may seem to others; the image we portray.

We are often more concerned about the impression we give, than about acting right and with integrity. We lose ourselves to please others, but, worse, to fit into social confinements.

There are certain ways of acting that we can realise on our own if they are right or not. No matter the norms of social behaviour, we can discern if it is acceptable to shout in public, to speak badly to service workers, to be rude to anyone. They are part of those things that frankly should be common sense.

But what most people fail to comprehend is that just because everyone does something doesn’t make it right or even acceptable.

Similarly, just because certain people act in a similar manner around everyone – e.g. flirting or being overly effusive – doesn’t make that behaviour acceptable or appropriate either.

There are some things we need to respect when it comes to friendships and social conduct.  We need to take into account the people we have before us and adjust our manners accordingly.

But essentially, it is one single thing: don’t do unto others what you don’t want done to you. If you want to be respected, treat the people next to you with respect. It will elevate you much more than anything else you could say or do.

Remember, “right is right even if no one is doing it. Wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it” (St Augustine).

The quiet ones

It’s the quiet ones you should fear. Because they have a whirlwind of thoughts howling in their minds.

They won’t always tell you what they’re thinking, but you can see their emotions reflected in their eyes.

They are the ones who will look out for you no matter what. They’ll be there whenever you ask for help, and will go out of their way to please you. They’re the ones you want to have as friends because you take for granted that they’ll do their utmost for you. But they’re also the ones you fail to appreciate. Yet, they stay. Because that is the type of person they are. They don’t measure or count what they do for you, they do things because they feel them in their heart.

The quiet ones are the ones who also need others the most, regardless how much they say otherwise.

They would ideally like to have people around who care as much as they do. People who during a crisis will show up without having been asked to simply to check in on them. We all want friends around us who every once in a while ask if we’re OK, if we need anything, or simply to be there for a walk, a chat, and a hug. People who are present and make it all seem manageable because we don’t feel like we’re fighting against the world alone.

It’s the quiet rivers that lead to the loudest streams. But when they’re calm, they offer the most refreshing waters.

The people around us

One of the best advice to pass on to others is to surround yourself with people who empower you to become better. Be picky about who you keep around you, because personalities, words and traits do rub off naturally. The people around you reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel. Their energies are contagious.

Surround yourself with smart people who will argue with you. Not those who will tell you exactly what you want to hear. Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you even at times when you don’t see it yourself.

We need people around us who will lift us up, no matter what.

We want people in our lives who will help us grow, who will develop with us, with whom we will share experiences and be comrades in life.

Not people who are still too stuck on their guardians they are too afraid to build a life for themselves, those who are not capable of evolving because it means stepping out of their comfort zone, those who don’t even consider taking any life-changing decision.

We need people around us who don’t ask “what if I fall?”, but rather “what if I fly?”

Footprints

For every person we meet, we come into their lives at a single moment in time.  As if jumping into a stream at a specific length of it.

We don’t know their past, sometimes not even their present. But we need to find out as much as possible in as short a time span as we can so that we can continue to be part of their future.

We meet people and judge them according to our own criteria. What we consider as acceptable behaviour and norms.

We want to discover the quirks and traits of other people to see if they match our own. If we can share a life with them. Our ultimate aim being to leave a mark on each other. To imprint a footprint on someone else’s life. Something that will push them to be better. To inspire them to act different. To be the greater version of themselves they can be.

Isn’t that the point after all? To meet people and make an impact on each other? To move forward together?

White Ideal

©MCD

You don’t need to call him. He comes on his own when he sees you.

You don’t need to tell him. He feels you in your silence.

You don’t need to ask him for attention. He provides it willingly.

The comfort of feeling his heartbeat sync with yours. Of his gaze staring in your eyes. Of his warmth brush up against you.

He is white. Not as snow. But as a fluffy cotton ball.

With patches of grey so you can spot him in the snow.

With green eyes that glisten in the sunlight.

He doesn’t speak a lot. He doesn’t need to. Because he is the type who doesn’t need words or sounds to communicate.

He has a heart bigger than you can imagine. Because no matter how much you push him away, he always comes back as if you never revoked him. And he wants to share his hugs, his love, his warmth. Because he might seem naïve, but he still thinks everyone he meets is as nice and loving as him.

We would all be so lucky to have such people in our lives.

Shame that such traits can only be found in a cat, though.