In another life

©MCD

He knew he wouldn’t live long enough to offer her everything she merited. Even if she didn’t voice it at first, he could sense it that she would soon grow to silently request more from him. More attention, more experiences, more laughter, more love, more life, more time.

But he had none to give.

Some meetings in life are just meant to happen. They all have something to teach you, but not all have happy endings. Some simply serve to make us stronger and more resilient to life’s challenges. He knew that when he was diagnosed with an incurable illness that pretty much ended life as he knew it. It all seemed like a morbid countdown after that moment. So, he vowed not to fall in love. It would not be fair to the other person if they reciprocated that love to him.

But we don’t always get what we want.

She captured his gaze from the minute her eyes fell upon his. Her bright smile made his heart flutter and he knew in an instant that his own vow was broken.

As much as he tried to stay away, he just couldn’t. He was drawn to her like bees to a flower. But she too loved spending time with him. He made her laugh and she was all the happier for it. And in return she made him feel alive.

When she started dreaming of a future life together, he broke. Because he knew he couldn’t offer her any of it. But how do you tell someone that?

As hard as it was, he became distant. He would inadvertently hurt her no matter what he said. The day he felt it was over, that the sand in the hourglass had run out, he poured out his emotions in a letter soaked in his tears.

Life is cruel at times. It presents you with people and things that imbue life inside you and then in a sudden instant takes it all away. Meeting you was the most wonderful part of my short-lived life. I wish I had more time to give you the world you are worth, to make it all work like I promised, to fulfil the visions and dreams that are now left hanging. I want to say I’m so deeply sorry, but I am not to blame for the cards fate dealt me, only the fact that I pulled you close to me despite knowing that I had no time left. I’m grateful for every moment I spent with you. I wish you continue to radiate beauty into this harsh world and deeply hope you will find everything you seek and so deserve. In another life, we would have had every single thing we dreamt of and so much more…

Advertisement

Forever alley

© Rowena Curtin

It was in that alley I realised I knew. And I told you too. When you asked me how I knew I loved you, I told you it was because I couldn’t remember what my life was like without you. Before you.

When you became a part of my world, you changed it intrinsically. I couldn’t recall what it was like without your long late-night calls, your random texts during the day to check up on me, our inside jokes, those silent looks that said everything, and so much more that made us ‘us’.

The alley’s name: “Rue de l’Éternité”.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Walk with me

©MCD

“Walk with me.”

It sounded ominous, but it wasn’t. It was a pure request, almost like a plead. She loved walking by the sea and in the mountains; it helped clear her mind. And it was a chance to bond with him. He would ramble on about his ongoing projects, his thoughts, aims, and future plans, and she would listen, offer some ideas, and often her perceptions too. It was relaxing because, in those couple of hours of just placing one foot before the other and moving forward, they would simultaneously escape reality and engage in their own one.

But for days now, even this habit was forlorn.

He “didn’t have time for it”, he said. But she knew that was nonsense. We always have time to do what we truly want. It’s not time he didn’t have, it was the desire. And that is what saddened her the most.

We all have our own perspectives on even the simplest of things. Going for a walk, for some, is a way of coming closer together. For others, it is a mere form of exercise.

She would walk regardless of the company, however. She would listen to music or podcasts and allow her mind to wander away in the clean air, among the trees, high up in the sky; to drift away, get lost in a myriad of thoughts, give birth to new ideas, renew optimism, and return stronger and more prepared to face everyday life.

Walking was a remedy for the challenges that perplex us.

Try it: take in some fresh air, breathe deeply, and just…walk.

View from the top

©MCD

It was a beautiful sunny day. A refreshing break from the winter mornings that had preceded it. It was as if nature had awakened in full glory with all its senses. It was a great day for a mountain trek.

They were alone, but that didn’t matter at all apart from a few safety risks.

As the best way to discover new places – and a new part of yourself – is to go on paths you’ve never gone before, they decided to take a turn they’d never seen. They were bound to discover something new; an unforgettable trekking experience.

The path was at times narrow and covered with bushes, at others steep and rocky, uphill and slippery, or straight and smooth. Like life itself, it was not a straight line ahead nor was it easy.

But the best views are indeed found at the top, and despite the difficult trajectory and the tiredness that ensued, they were compensated by the most beautiful panoramic views of a city that had much to offer if only you allowed it to.

We’ll only move forward in every way if we finally take that first step. And just keep going. It will all be worth it. Eventually.

The peak of the mountain

Pete was a person of many talents. He wanted to accomplish a lot in his life but was constantly held back by his need for all his conditions to be met before moving ahead.

Sandrine was a person of many dreams, which she set into goals and worked hard to achieve them. She loved what she did and put passion into whatever she took hold of.

When they met each other they instantly clicked. It felt as if they knew each other since forever, and for some reason fate led them into each other’s path. Nothing happens by accident.

It all moved fast from there. It was natural. Seamless. With disagreements and rifts at times, but that was sort of expected too. No two lives can clasp perfectly together without jolting. Every relationship requires work; we don’t “just wake up like this”, we need the determination, willingness, and effort to make things happen.

As time passed, they both began to view life together in the future. That’s what love supposedly is, right? Looking for the same things in the same direction. And working together for them. Supporting each other. Through the good and bad times.

They had set a goal to climb a mountain and place at the very top a flag they had made together as a symbol of their commitment to each other.

The first time they tried, Sandrine found it excruciating to reach the top, and Pete pulled her up. But a few feet away, he pulled out a parachute and dropped down. Simply because it was something he always wanted to do and it was a good opportunity.

Sandrine was devastated. But they tried again.

The second time, they found that if they held each other, they could better support one another to achieve the milestone. Sandrine slipped, but when Pete tried to grab her, he glided down the slope instead.

It was disappointing for the both of them.

But they tried again. Because they knew that what they felt from the start was stronger than any mishap that occurred along the way. And if they fought as a team against it all, they would surely win.

This time Sandrine was confident they would set the flag on the top. They were ready. They had overcome all the obstacles and the peak was in sight. There was absolutely nothing rational that could destroy it all. And right when Pete was to pull out the flag from his backpack, he instead took out a sleigh, and without saying a word, trickled down the mountain like a child engulfed in a game.

Sandrine was left ghosted and lost.

He would say one thing and then act differently.

She could not understand. And he would not let her in. There was no explanation for why he would so radically change and panic when they were so close to their joint goal.

We don’t know what people think unless they tell us. But we need to accept and comprehend their side of the story. Regardless if we agree or not.

Comprehension is the key to great and honest communication.

But so is being grateful and realising the little things we have beside us. We have more than we believe, but if we don’t acknowledge them, it’ll be too late when we eventually do.

Suspicious minds

One of the greatest problems of the contemporary world is that we’ve grown too suspicious. Of everyone and everything. Kindness is seen with disbelief, as someone wanting to deceive us or seeking something (often more expensive) in return. If someone approaches you simply with the intention of having a friendly chat, it’s like a red alarm goes off in our brain signalling caution. Whatever anyone says or does anymore is automatically perceived with severe caution and distrust.

Even during a first encounter with any potential relationship, we’re distrustful and apprehensive of everything: the words they say, their body movements, the look in their eyes; every single thing. Perhaps it’s an upshot of having been burnt too many times in the past or simply the fact that fraud and deceit are so widespread in this world where anyone can claim to be anyone and anything without any proof.

So we try to take caution.

But as we get to know people, we slowly put our guard down. Sometimes it takes a comforting smile, an honest conversation, and finding that secret button of yours that let’s them in; making you laugh. It often doesn’t take much to feel secure with someone once they win over your trust.

But then you stop being so fearful of everything. Because you think you’ll get back that love you give out; that your attention, energy, and presence will all be reciprocated. And when you’re unexpectedly hurt, you turn to ‘anthems’ like Miley Cyrus’ latest song that you can do things better on your own and take care of yourself better than anyone else can.

The truth is, however, we’re not meant to be alone. Like Aristotle said, humans are social beings. We need the company of others to survive, to evolve, to be who we are. No matter how well we cope alone, we all secretly (or not) want someone to share our life with, someone to ramble on about when we’re facing bureaucratic nonsense and are having a bad day, but also when funny and oddly good things occur too. We want someone to cuddle up with to watch a movie (even if we’ll fall asleep in the first 20 minutes of it). Someone to go on long walks with and recount what we’ve been up to; our successes as well as the adversities that we’ve encountered. We want people next to us who will console our pain during the hard times but also share our joy during the happy ones.

Despite the vicious circle of suspicion that this society has led us into, we want someone who will love, respect, and care for us, to whom we can express our soul’s desires without the fear of regretting it, and to whom we can give it all and know it will be reciprocated without ever asking for it.

In this world of distrust, we want people whom we hug and they hug us right back even tighter because they can feel that is what we need to heal our troubled hearts.

The vastness out there

©MCD

Our time has become strange. It’s that portion of future history books that no one will be able to fully explain or rationally justify the reasons why things happen. People have become insane in every sense. We’re losing our grip on our selves, our actions, what we can control and what not, and most importantly our minds. There is a lot of anger out there; tension that cannot be relieved, unhealthy sentimental eruptions leading to what we dub as toxic. Actions that make no sense and cannot be predicted. But all are resulting in a negative flow of what has by now become a mundane routine. We are not shocked by anything anymore because nothing surprises us.

What if we changed our perspective? What if we – tried at least – to silence the negativity our minds speak to us?

Get out.

Of your head, your house, your situations.

Walk it off.

Just be alone with yourself and the nature surrounding you.

Breathe.

Let your eyes gaze beyond the horizon.

Realise how vast the world is and how tiny a part of it we are.

Change the way you see things and soon you’ll realise that things will themselves change too.

It’s not all that bad. You just think it is and you’ve convinced yourself it’s so.

Learn, thrive, and grow together

It’s a skill knowing when to stop a tiff from developing into a full-grown quarrel. It takes patience and a lot of struggle to reach the point of constraint, of choosing to walk away and quieten down rather than engage in a fight not worth having.

It takes time to learn things. Any thing.

Like the fact that you cannot force people to change. No matter how much you love them or care for them. Regardless of how deeply you let them in, people will only understand what they want. And they will alter their ways only when they truly desire. But just like a selfish person cannot become more caring, an altruist cannot suddenly stop placing others first and only look out for their own benefit. It goes both ways.

It is a wonder, really: is there something in between either feeling everything so profoundly or hardly sensing anything at all?

We are so accustomed to the stories we tell ourselves, those deafening voices in our heads that convince us to try more, to talk more, to press more in the hope that we’ll put ourselves out there and people will finally see us for who we are, for what we’re worth, for the value we so long for them to acknowledge. Yet in this, we fail to see that what we intend as effort, as nurturing care, and affection, to others seems as a suffocating attempt to change their beliefs and attitudes. We judge ourselves on our intentions and not on how we make the other person feel. We act in the way we consider as ‘common sense’ and obvious, but it is not so for everyone, and we often fail to realise that people seldom think and act the same way. Our cheerful ramble confiding in another a portion of our day may be regarded as moaning and just noisy chatter. We feel disappointed and rejected because we’ve created an expectation in our head that is hardly ever met. We set out already knowing what we want to see, and are shattered when it doesn’t play out as such.

Perhaps the biggest mistake we make is taking everything too personally; even when that is how it seems, we are rarely the reason people act like they do. The real cause for people’s behaviour lies within themselves, their upbringing, their experiences, their fears, their influences, their social surroundings, or even just the noise in their own heads.

True relationships – of any sort – help us do three essential things: learn together, grow together, and thrive together. Having fun is just a bonus. Any relationship makes you better in every single way possible. That’s the point of it after all.

Facing the world

© Sandra Crook

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Sure? We can…”

“No.”

The response was absolute. She’d rather be alone. It was just one of those days when she couldn’t quite decipher what was wrong.

He gave her a couple of hours.

Then he pulled her into a tight embrace – he knew this relieved her tension and said “let’s go.” He allowed no opportunities for questions. They weren’t important. And it didn’t matter.

About an hour later, they arrived.

It was the quiet place where their first date developed. It served as a reminder that it was them against the world.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Genuine Smiles

There was a difference between when she smiled wholeheartedly and when she simply forced it. Her aunt knew how to read her. She was just like her. The fake smile caused more muscles to tense. It was strained and didn’t seem natural.

We all have moments like that. When we feel obligated to smile and be courteous when in fact we feel nothing like it at all.

Charlotte saw so much of herself in her niece. Joy lived up to her name most times. But when her aura clouded, it could be sensed a mile away.

“The secret to maintaining that smile is to keep the child inside you alive”, Charlotte said.

Joy tilted her face like a cat in awe.

“Think about it: when we’re simply living in that moment, blurring everything around us to the point that nothing else exists beyond what we’re doing and who we’re with at the present time, aren’t we happier? We shift all our focus to that precise period of time that we don’t care about past or future or anything else that causes us concern and stress. We feel relaxed, playful, carefree, and genuinely happy. Your heart is open to love and…well, joy, and your mind is thinking positively by default. You view the world brighter because you’ve turned the mood switch to that direction”.

Joy smiled, her head turned back straight. The smile was authentic this time.

She didn’t need to say much. Charlotte understood anyway. She gave her a hug. One of those long ones where you wait for the other person to let go first and so you stay entangled for what seems like hours, laughing while you feel each other’s heart vibrate. The embrace was so tight, Charlotte could actually feel the crack that had marked Joy’s emotions.

“We’re all loving people the way we wish we were loved and hurting them the way we wish we were not hurt”.

“How different the world would be if we could – even for an instance – see things from another’s point of view, step in their shoes and view their perspective. How much better everything would be, if we could just let our pride aside for a minute and show some empathy to the people around us, particularly to those we say we care for the most”.

“Sometimes, love has a way of coming back to you”, Charlotte added, loosening the squeeze.

“If it’s meant to be, it won’t miss you. There is always a way if we truly want it”.