Some days

There are some days you wish you could forget. Completely erase them from memory if possible.

It’s those days that have made you realise you were wrong about things you thought of differently until that very point. Days that have shaken up your entire mentality and viewpoint on life.

But they are the same days that shattered you to pieces.

Because every change comes with a cost. And it is often painful.

Some days you want to remember for as long as you live.

Some others, you just want to press delete and rewind. To live them over in a better way now that you know.

Those days are the ones that make you stronger, wiser and help you keep going with the hope you won’t repeat the same mistakes.

Every day is a gift as long as we treat it as such.

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A preemptive apology

It is a fact that you moan when you’re tired. And you get grumpy. And easily irritated. And all of a sudden very emotional.

Being tired is like being drunk. You shift into alternate emotions so rapidly that the person next to you has no time to realise what hit them.

It’s also like being hungry: like that Snickers ad campaign states, “you’re not you when you’re hungry”.

If you’re a woman during a certain time of the month, that simply accentuates the problem. Add the heat and your patience has just run out.

Our fast life rhythms keep us alert perhaps far more than we can cope with. Because sometimes, you need time off everything to re-instate order in your life and make your affairs manageable again.

We all pass through periods of (extreme) exhaustion. It happens, because we want to believe that we can handle more than we truly can. And often because we don’t see the tiredness setting in until our organism itself begins to protest. That is when it strikes you. And that is when you begin to moan. To become irritable, stretching that vein in your head that is ready to pop whenever you reach your limits either of yelling or of tension.

The meltdown / outburst is usually short-lived but long-felt. It is a time when you easily blurb out things you don’t mean, that you shouldn’t say in the first place, but which you do because the exhaustion has drained out the best of you. You quickly regret it all and a feeling of remorse sets in quicker than a brain freeze. You are able to calm down within minutes after the explosion, trying to explain to those around you that you are just not you when you’re tired.

So, for all those instances that this has happened – and it is repeated quite a lot lately for the obvious reasons already stated – I want to apologise. I am sorry I yell so easily, shrieking my little vein off, and jumping at the slightest of remarks. I am sorry that I have allowed myself to reach the verge of exhaustion to the extent that I cannot think clearly or rationally at times, becoming all the more annoyed if people follow a different trail of thought. And I am sorry if my breakdowns end up pushing you away, when in reality all I really need is a warm embrace and the encouragement that everything will be alright. Just like with everything in life, it all passes.

“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles” – Charlie Chaplin

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Apology