MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “self-motivation”

A cheetah among dogs

We humans are curious creatures.

We like to talk about each other, but we have a vital need to feel acknowledged. More so by those we appreciate and love.

It makes us feel valued, it boosts our confidence, and gives us motivation.

But the thing is, in all these modern self-help and manifestation vibes going around, we’re taught to depend on no one other than yourself in knowing your own worth.

We’re supposed to know our own value. To not alter that despite what others think. Yet, we are unavoidably impacted by external opinions. Perhaps to a larger extent than we should.

It takes strength and great confidence to dispel the outer voices and go with whatever you think is appropriate and what makes you feel good with yourself.

You don’t always have to prove yourself.

Sometimes it is even insulting to have to demonstrate your worth (just look at that cheetah in the dog race).

The mistakes we make

We all spend certain periods pondering on everything we go through, mainly trying to realise the mistakes we make and what went wrong in dealing with them.

The biggest mistake we make is allowing people to stay in our lives far longer than they deserve.

We put up with behaviours that are toxic.

And we usually are to blame for that because we see it coming; we see them behaving perfectly one day, and then disappearing the next.

We waste time because we want to believe people change.

But the truth is, people only change if they really want to; not because you want them to.

Being nice is one thing; but we need to learn to say ‘no’,

You’ll see it’s liberating.

To set limits. To say ‘enough’ and end things. To move on and change whatever you don’t like.

We live in a society so twisted, that we’re surprised when we meet someone ‘normal’, with whom we can communicate without too much effort, who makes us laugh with witty humour, and, above all, who stays, who shows a consistency in their initial, pleasant and courteous behaviour.

It’s a shame that this is now the case. Because we sort of take all that for granted, or as common sense.

Kindness should be a given. But if you pay attention, you’ll realise that even a smile nowadays is rare. That’s why people who wear it more actually shine brighter.

Impossible limits

There is a magnificent quote that says that “the only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking” (Robert Schuller). Because we are only truly restrained by the limits we set in our mind. If we go beyond our limits, impossible is nothing but a word.

Life coaches often prompt you to visualise where you want to be and what you want to achieve in order to gain a clear focus of what you’re after. If you concentrate your attention on exactly what you’re seeking, it somewhat becomes easier to clear out the weed – the unwanted stuff blocking your judgement and thought – so as to realise your initial target.

It may be hard, it may require discipline, but nothing is difficult to achieve if you set your mind to it.

The best things come when we’re open to the prospect of them; when we convert our energy and attention into emitting a good vibe; that’s when we attract goodness. Because if we’re willing to try, something good will certainly be gained.

“The limits of the possible can only be defined by going beyond them into the impossible” – Arthur Clarke

Paddle away

©Krista Strutz

He was searching for the opportunity to stand up on a surfboard and paddle away into the water. It was the new ‘trend’ and he was longing to try it.

A friend told him it was “like walking on water only better”.

And he was right.

Out there, your mind catches up with you.

It was Katharine Hepburn who said that “as one goes through life, one learns that if you don’t paddle your own canoe, you don’t move”. And he felt that, right then.

For if it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

And that’s what we need.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

So much more than you think

https://planetlaundry.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Diamond.jpg

Why do you allow yourself to enter this phase?

It’s like a lunar eclipse; you tolerate someone moving into your shadow and blocking your light.

Remember that empowerment seminar a year ago? You’re the source of your own strength. But also of your own weakness. And people will only treat you the way you allow them to.

You weren’t raised to become friable by some unknown person’s intents. You’re not meant to be crushed; it’s not who you are, and not what you’re destined for. Get that into your head.

So react. You’ve sulked long enough. Now rise up and recall your worth. You’re better than this. And you deserve so much more.

Don’t forget that.

Also part of Your Daily Word Prompt

Let’s go

©MCD

Let’s take the ferry. We’ll be on a different island in just a few minutes. It’s as simple as that.

All it requires is a decision.

But often that’s the hardest thing to take.

We’re too indecisive when it comes to the issues that contribute to a healthy mentality and lifestyle. We’re too caught up with a strict routine, daily pressure, and tight programmes.

But we tend to overthink the insignificant matters, those that result in a mental burnout, in a psychological exhaustion, and in an unjustifiable stress.

Take the boat and leave. Whenever you can. Let your mind wander. Allow your gaze to get lost along the waves, across the horizon, traveling with the wind.

And if you ever too far and need saving, there’s always a life vest somewhere near to rescue you.

Declutter

Psychologists say that we need our homes to be in order so our minds can follow suit.

Simply stating, we need to literally live in peace in order to find it.

It’s something you can easily notice: when your desk, living space, home is chaotic, more often than not so is your mind, and subsequently your entire psychological state of being. Disorganisation or disorder may cause increased levels of anxiety, stress, discomfort, confusion, and consequently lead to higher levels of irritation. We’re often upset and angry without really knowing why, but it all comes down to this: we need serenity around us. We need the minimum of things to clutter our space, we desire the order of our surroundings, the satisfaction that everything is ‘in place’, so that we can gain the encouragement and motivation to relax our own thoughts and find harmony within.

In short, we need to be able to literally view tranquility so we can begin to feel it.

The magic within

Isn’t it encouraging to consider that every minute of the day two people – seemingly strangers – are getting to know each other and are falling in love as their hands softly touch?

Do you really think that’s possible?

It’s nice to believe in something we can’t see. It’s refreshing to believe that magic still happens. We need that kind of optimism in our lives. That sort of positiveness is so lacking in this world we’ve created”.

They were sitting on a couch talking all night. Neither of them could sleep. It was those late night talks about random issues that brought them closer. It was those things you tell a person at your most vulnerable time that help you form a stronger bond with them. Those thoughts that spring to mind at the most awkward of hours; the concerns you have but haven’t even admitted to yourself; the debates you feel too silly to have with anyone else.

The magic happens when you least expect it. When you’re hardly prepared for it. When you’ve planned everything but that. When you truly are yourself, without shame, prejudices or fear of what others will think of you.

When you let yourself go and are proud of who you are, the magic will happen.

Because you’ve been carrying it within you all along.

You just haven’t realised it yet.

Emerging from the shadows

People fear a lot of things. But one intrinsic fear that may be common to all is the fear of being forgotten. We all want to make an impact, to leave a footprint in this world, to be remembered as having lived here.

We live in a world where everyone is trying to be famous, for anything no matter how futile and for however short-lived the duration may be.

In an era where everything can be broadcast and gone viral in a matter of seconds, the millennial generation is one addicted to attention. Everyone wants to be branded even though they’re not good at anything. We need the spotlight to satisfy our internal shortcomings.

The truth is, we need recognition and the broader social acceptance to displace the negative voices we alone create in our heads; to feed our own self-appreciation, self-acceptance and value. An old Japanese Samurai proverb says, “don’t speak bad of yourself. For the warrior within hears your words and is lessened by them”. Our need to receive recognition from others is ultimately founded by our need to prove our own value, firstly to ourselves. It’s always easier to complain, judge and condemn than to lift each other up. This is the culture we’ve created. But what everyone is truly seeking, is to enhance our own value. We depend on the recognition of others, because we’ve associated this feeling with that of our own self-worth and satisfaction.

Yet at the same time as searching for acknowledgement, we withhold from even asking for it. We suppress our wants out of fear of appearing egoistic, weak or needy. We hide in the shadows, but don’t want to be invisible. It’s a paradox of human nature. We desire to stand out from the crowd but refrain from making the effort to do so.

Those inclined and used to working backstage know first-hand the problems of not being appreciated or acknowledged for your work. Because in catchy songs, everyone praises the singer and never the songwriter; in wonderful books, hardly anyone ever remembers the writer, and when the novel becomes a movie, it is even associated with the actors that bring the plot to life, not the person who had the idea behind it all.

The difficulty of working in the shadows is that you never get recognized for your work and someone else always gets credit and is remembered for it. The problem in making others look good is that you never get to exhibit your true potential. It’s like you’re trying to leave your footprint but someone else always tramples on top of it and leaves their mark instead.  The world will thus never know your worth because you don’t speak up, because you’re the one who pushes others forth and remains behind the scenes, hoping to at least receive some form of acknowledgement and value.

Mother Theresa had said that “there is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread”, and it is a common fact that recognition is the best method of improving work motivation and employee engagement. It is essentially a driving force for life itself: for if you don’t show appreciation to those who deserve it, they’ll eventually learn to stop doing the things you appreciate.

The early bird

There is a widespread belief that waking up early is the key to success. You’re motivated to get up before dawn because this is what successful entrepreneurs do and well, they must be doing something right…right?

The thing is there are two sides to every argument. Here too. Waking up early has the benefits that you have the whole day in front of you to be productive, get things done, enjoy life – laugh, learn, (work), live. You get to enjoy the stillness and quiet of the morning environment before everything becomes hectic and everyone is rushing around all agitated and in an irritable panic. You’re more calm if you’re not rushing in the morning and you can wake up your body and mind more naturally, and even treat yourself to a nutritious breakfast and an exercise routine that will get you oxygenated and give you an energy-boost.

There are lots of perks to waking up early. But the key is actually wanting to do so. No matter what the reason – professional, personal, or otherwise – struggling to get up and out of bed in an ungodly (for some) hour requires psychological willpower.

Being a morning person is more than just a characteristic. It’s something you train yourself to be by force of habit. It entails discipline and motivation. Just like some people work better at night, those who perform better in the morning have acquainted themselves to the process.

Getting up early also presupposes that you’ve gone to bed relatively early so you can get at least 6-7 hours of sleep. Because otherwise, being sleep-deprived and an early-starter won’t get you too far. Sleep deprivation actually leads to other problems such as fatigue, irritation, weight alterations, and cognitive performance deficits.

In short, each person needs to find their own rhythm and time at which they function better. The essence is for people to be able to create a cycle of their own that they will willingly and pleasantly adhere to.  

Just remember, there are ambivalent sayings for an early riser: “Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with dreams or wake up and chase them”; “He who wakes up early yawns all day long”.

Make your own choice. But whatever it is make sure it motivates you into doing something.

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