Inner conflicts

It sounds like a cliché but it’s true: Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. You are not aware of what is going on in other people’s lives. You only know what they allow you to. If you are not at the receiving end of a heartfelt conversation, you’ll never know. You won’t realise the depth of the people around you if they don’t open up to you.

People long to share their emotions. It’s a way of maximising the joy of success and good news, and a means of alleviating the suffering of pain and sadness. It’s not about making you feel jealous or burdening you with additional problems. It’s about trusting you enough to confide in you their intimate details.

Secrecy breeds pain. In all aspects. If we keep things inside of us, we’re suffering so much on our own that we’re causing our own destruction. And no one knows.

We let people in whom we can trust. Whom we believe won’t scare away. Who’ll comprehend that what we want is someone to sit by us in silence while we share our version of the world.

True, we all have different viewpoints, but it is only when we are given another’s lens that we begin to see the world differently.

Icebergs have the extraordinary ability to be able to majestically float when the majority of them is underwater, hidden from the naked eye. We sort of do the same when something is wrong. We hide it under the carpet, hoping nobody will see it and pretending it will go away.

There is so much more to what we see in others. You can discern it in their eyes, in the authenticity of their smile, in the sincerity of their laugh. Happiness comes in waves. But it’s at the lowest points that we need help getting back up. Even if asking for assistance may seem like the hardest thing to do.

Every person you meet is going through things you will never know.

Just like you share in your head thoughts you will never speak of.

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Life-changing flares

It takes courage to get up in the morning and convince yourself that today will be the day when something so wonderfully extraordinary happens that life will never be the same.

It takes guts to be so cheerful before you’ve barely opened your eyes.

Leo was one of those guys.

He was that person who sang as he shaved before going to work. Who made breakfast for the family on weekends. Who hardly complained about anything, because ‘what good would that do?’ He was the one who could literally turn your frown upside down because when you saw him, you wished there were more of him in the world.

Linda was a girl with mood swings. Like any female, she was easily affected by hormonal changes, to the extent that days of laughter would be preceded by spurs of inexplicable irritation or followed by moments of melancholic sobbing. There was no real explanation for any of it. She was, however, a person who would wear her heart on her sleeve; she would do anything she could and more to take care of the people she loved. She would organise surprises and be happier for the emotion felt rather than the gift itself. She was a person who would go all out, and despite what she said, she secretly hoped someone would do something similar for her too.

When they met, the flare lit up inside both instantly.

Leo asked her if she believed in fate. “What if everything we lived was precisely to lead us to this very moment, so that we could meet right here, right now?”

“What if we’re one connection away from changing our entire lives?” was her response.

She smiled and his entire world lit up. His heart fluttered and she blushed, her eyes glistening with happiness.

It wasn’t always easy. But they tried. Together. It required finding the middle line. Making compromises and retreating when fighting would not lead anywhere.

“I need you to be happy, because we can’t be sad together,” he told her when she felt blue.

“If you laugh, I’ll smile,” she would reply.

And step-by-step they would make each other better.

In life we don’t need extravagance; just one person to turn on the light. Everything else will follow.

Chin-up

He had a way of getting her to smile even when the tears where trickling down her blushed cheeks. Even when she frowned, he would manage her to laugh; that heartfelt laughter that was so contagious he could not help but chuckle along with her.

It was rare to find someone so supportive. Who could not only withstand but also handle her mood swings. She knew it was difficult. This modern era caused a lot of psychological and mental stress; she couldn’t even deal with it herself, let alone expect someone else to.

She was easily disappointed with the world. With friends that turned out to be foes. With backstabbing behaviour, with job offerings going to less-deserved people with under-achievements, with luck not being on her side apparently. She often surrendered arms because it was easier than continuing to fight a battle you were constantly losing.

But he knew more about it than meets the eye. He had faced unimaginable challenges throughout his years and was determined to not give up. Failure was not an option, and he kept repeating that to her so as to make it sink in.

During one of those heartbroken breakdowns where everything seemed bleak right from the sombre start of the morning, he looked her straight in the eyes, gently touched her face, and said, “Chin up, princess, or the crown slips”.

She smiled timidly. But it was enough to dust herself off and start over.

The troubles of the world

“It’s consoling to feel you are being heard. To know there is someone there who will allow you to lash out, to yell, to moan, to cry if needed. We need those air pockets once in a while to enable us to breathe. Because we can’t keep everything suffocating inside for too long”.

She paused and smiled. Marian could feel zia Giulia’s gentle gaze look right through her. She didn’t need to say much around her favourite aunt. It was as if she had a super-intuition through which she could perceive every emotion, every perplexing thought.

“I’m glad you’re that person-to-go-to for your friends. But the problem arises when you allow all those problems you hear to drain into you and you add them onto your own”.

Marian sighed. Zia had struck spot on.

“We need to listen, to comprehend, to offer advice, support, or even nothing more than our company and the reassurance that no one is alone. But you also need to know how to turn the tap off. That is how to allow the troubles of the world to slip off your shoulders. Each of us has enough of their own worries to carry those of others too. It’s not selfish. It’s self-care. And it does not mean you’re not being a good friend if you’re not constantly anguishing over the other’s hardships”.

She could sense the confusion, so she lightened the mood and added:

“Even a camel will eventually shed you off when you become too heavy to carry. But that does not mean that it won’t accept to carry you back on again after a short while”.

“Know your limits. And don’t be afraid to set them”.

Support in actions

If you observe the signs around you, you’ll see a lot more than what you’re asking for in a verbal communication. That is, there are some things words cannot express.

Not everyone can – or will – communicate in the way you expect or want them to. Each person has their own way of demonstrating affection. You just have to be open enough to see it.

Sometimes, showing that you care is simply by keeping the house warm for your partner, cooking dinner when their too busy, or simply calling to check in.

There are many ways to be there, even if you’re not physically present.

And at the end of the long, hard days we often have, all we really need is to feel loved and thought of.

Happy state of mind

There are some things you just know; it’s that gut feeling that is almost never wrong. Some call it instinct, intuition, fate, destiny; name it as you wish, but that energy you receive from within actually helps direct your decisions, even unconsciously.

He felt it as soon as he shook her hand and she smiled brightly at him, her eyes sparkling like stars in the darkness of the room.

The music around them was loud, but they heard nothing. For that moment, it was just them. That’s how you block out the world. When you reach a true connection with someone.

It’s inexplicable how and why. How we meet these people during the ‘right’ time in our lives; how we never met them before even if we hang in the same circles and with the same people; and why we come across them when we’re ready to truly unite on all levels.

Be it a best friend who becomes your support, your shoulder to cry on, your harshest critic, but above all your family; or be it your soulmate (if there ever is one), the one who completes you, who makes your heart flutter, and who gets you smiling broadly at the single thought of them; people with whom we connect so deeply are invaluable. Because they become the light in our darkest hours, the people who lift us up when we’re crawling, who make us see our worth when we refuse to do so, who help us achieve our targets, who assist us on our path towards becoming the product of our dreams.

We need people like these in our life, however rare they may be. Because, ultimately, they are the ones who make us the better versions of ourselves. And that matters more than anything. For that is when we are at our most productive, most healthy, and most happy state of mind.

That inconspicuous dark cloud

It arrives abruptly and sits upon your shoulder silently at first. But then it grows heavier and you begin to feel the burden of carrying it. It grows darker the bigger it becomes and it’s even more difficult to shake it off.

Stress is like a black cloud. Inconspicuous upon arrival but may be lethal if prolonged.

We know it’s bad for us, yet we continue to fall victim to it.

We even know all the remedies for it too: meditation, deep breaths, organisation, priorities, etc etc.

But the one thing no one seems to be able to understand is that by telling someone “not to stress” does not solve absolutely anything. It simply elongates the circumstances that lead to the anxiety and nervousness in the first place.

It’s not about advice when it comes to ‘solving’ stress.

It’s about finding things and people around you that can help you get rid of that black cloud on your shoulder, simply by being too busy enjoying other things that you forget it’s even there.

Perspective rain

It started raining before the sun emerged. When the first rays hit the sky, a rainbow appeared.

Elise woke late and got up almost forcefully to begin the day. She did not have much planned, but you never know what each day may bring. You just need to be ready for it.

She sat near the window watching the rain alternate from thunderous storm to pitter-patter.

It was half an hour later that a message sounded on her phone. A pleasant alteration to an otherwise empty schedule. With a lighter mood, she got ready quickly, took her large umbrella and walked out into the ominous weather.

By the time she returned, she had a renewed perspective on life itself. The rain hadn’t stopped. But that didn’t matter.

There are some people in your life who know when to appear at the right moment, even without you asking. They are those who without trying, without even knowing at times, lift you up and fix your mood, no matter what you’ve been going through. Be it a parent, a friend, a close associate, even your boss. They are those who effortlessly challenge and prompt you to become a better person. Who show you that you should strive for excellence, to be the best you can be, to read more, to discover more of the world we live in, and most importantly to act, to stay in constant motion, to feel alive.

Those who make you see that beyond the rain there is always a rainbow signalling the arrival of the sun.

The value of Joy

We all have a few voices in our head. They’re the ones that come to you when you’re fretting over a decision to make. Or when you’re in a fight with someone; when you’re too stressed to think straight. Or most of all, when you’re sick and too exhausted to move.

Our lives would be so much easier if only Joy was in our head. Jumping up and down with excitement. But we all experience periods of Sadness, Anger, Fear and even Disgust. They are all part of who we are. And they are the reasons why we appreciate Joy even more, and the moments we spend being happy.

It is during the moments that life strikes you down when you value the times when you are at your best and most upbeat. But it takes a lot of inner strength to get there, and support from those around you and not just the voices in your head.

Thoughts in secret

There are things you realise as time passes. As you mature, as you enrich your experiences, as you widen your perspectives. You acknowledge that the world is not (always) the wonderland you want it to be, nor is it as idyllic and welcoming as you once thought it was. In fact, everything is a bit more complicated than you want to believe.

Human relationships are the most difficult of all. Because as you grow older – in both years and knowledge – you become more selective. In the people you keep around you, in what you want to share with them, in what and who you feel is worth your time. You also grow tired of pretending to be nice all the time and want some time to unravel yourself, carefree from the fear of people judging, misunderstanding or criticizing you.

As your time in this crazy world expands, you also witness how peculiar human beings are. How they can so easily speak a thousand words and make airborne plans that can just as easily evaporate and disappear. How you can meet and become friends with people at the flick of a finger, but as quickly as that you can become shadows of acquaintances. Friendships form and break in abundance in a person’s lifetime, but you will soon realise who it is you truly want on your side. It is those people you seek when you’re having fun to share in your happiness, and the same ones you search for when you want a company in your silence. It is the people who understand you without words. With a simple look in your eyes, a nod, and a hug. Because sometimes that is all you really need. Someone to show you unconditional love and support. To remind you that people aren’t really made to be alone all the time.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Sentimental