There is no try

“But what if I try and fail?”

“Well, that’s better than if you’ve never tried at all.” She laughed and her smile spread wide across her face.

“The only way you’ll change something is if you take the risk and do something you’ve never done before.

Keep in mind that sometimes, to go from a bad place to a better place we need to go through a worse place. It’s a paradox, but see it as a necessary evil. If you don’t fall flat on your face, you won’t know what it feels like if you fail. Once you learn that, you’ll be more determined to succeed and…well, fly! Make sense?”

He was timid. But perhaps that was the problem to begin with. He hadn’t developed enough confidence to cope with this world. Often, we need to suffer, to crash and fall, in order to get up stronger, wiser and more stubborn to make things work.

There is no try; just do.

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Weaving fate

There is a French proverb that “you often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it”. There are numerous sayings about how you cannot outrun what is meant to find you.

They all stem from the concept of fate or destiny, or however else we name it.

In ancient Greek mythology, the Moirai (the “Fates”), were the personification of destiny. They were depicted as three sisters: Clotho (the spinner, weaving the thread of life); Lachesis (the allotter, the one distributing the ‘lots’/portions of the thread of life, and determining what each person would receive); and Atropos (the unturning, who cuts without the slightest hesitation, when the time comes, the thread of people’s lives). Their role was to ensure that every being, mortal or divine, lived out their destiny as assigned to them by the laws of the universe. For mortals, this destiny spanned their entire lives and was represented as a thread spun from a spindle.

The thread in the hands of the Moirai is human life; symbolizing how trivial and insignificant it eventually is, since it can be cut so easily like a thread.

Generally, the Moirai were considered to be above even the gods in their role as enforcers of fate, although in some representations, Zeus, the chief of the gods, is able to command them.

Their name derives from the Ancient Greek: μοῖρα, which means “lots, destinies, apportioners”. It also means a portion or lot of the whole. It is related to ‘meros’, “part, lot” and ‘moros’, “fate, doom” and they are seen as distributing portions of life among humanity.

The three Moirai are often seen as daughters of the primeval goddess Nyx (“night”), and sisters of Keres (“the black fates”), Thanatos (“death”) and Nemesis (“retribution”). Later they are depicted as daughters of Zeus and the Titaness Themis (“the Institutor”), who was the embodiment of divine order and law. Tychi (“Luck”)is sometimes presented as their fourth sister.

The concept of “moira” (fate) referred to one’s fair allotment or portion in life, which was distributed according to strict traditions. Obtaining more than one’s fair portion of life, in general, was possible, but would result in severe consequences because this was considered a violation of the natural order of things.  Perhaps this is what is meant by the idea that you don’t get in life more than you can handle; you just don’t know how strong you are until you’re forced to face a challenge.

What is ‘written’ for you will always find you. But you too can do something about it. You can seize the opportunities when they appear; you can create the conditions for them to reveal themselves; you can strive to become a better person every day; and soon, as you aim high, you will see your stars glimmer in the sky.

 “Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not.” – Ana Monnar

 “Fate is shaped half by expectation, half by inattention.” – Amy Tan

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” – Marcus Aurelius

Say it now

“Take care”, “text me when you get home”, “drive safe”; they’re all expressions we blurt out with a “see you later” without thinking about it much. But they all obtain a very different meaning after something tragic happens, like a train crash; a collision of a public transport vehicle some have taken numerous times and consider it as safe, never doubting that they may never reach their destination. Incidents like this change your entire perspective on life. Nothing can be taken for granted. Not even the time we have.

We postpone so many things, speak badly or abruptly to those we love thinking we’ll do better ‘next time’. We don’t utter the words ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I’m thinking of you’, saving them for another moment. We resist tight hugs and long embraces, quality time just enjoying each other’s company, all because we believe that we’ll ‘hang out’ or see each other later on.

But what if that postponed moment never arrives?

You don’t know when it will be the last time you’re holding that person in your arms, or if you’ll have the chance to express your sentiments to them after this instant. We don’t know, no matter how optimistic we want to be on life, what fate has in store for all of us.

So why wait? Why waste this moment out of stubbornness and egoism that don’t allow us to seize every ounce of life we have? Right now.

Showing you care can take many forms. But it is worth nothing if you keep suppressing your care for ‘a later time’.

View from the top

©MCD

It was a beautiful sunny day. A refreshing break from the winter mornings that had preceded it. It was as if nature had awakened in full glory with all its senses. It was a great day for a mountain trek.

They were alone, but that didn’t matter at all apart from a few safety risks.

As the best way to discover new places – and a new part of yourself – is to go on paths you’ve never gone before, they decided to take a turn they’d never seen. They were bound to discover something new; an unforgettable trekking experience.

The path was at times narrow and covered with bushes, at others steep and rocky, uphill and slippery, or straight and smooth. Like life itself, it was not a straight line ahead nor was it easy.

But the best views are indeed found at the top, and despite the difficult trajectory and the tiredness that ensued, they were compensated by the most beautiful panoramic views of a city that had much to offer if only you allowed it to.

We’ll only move forward in every way if we finally take that first step. And just keep going. It will all be worth it. Eventually.

How to climb a mountain

Teo was adamant. “Take one hour a day and do nothing. Because even when you’re doing nothing, you’re actually doing something for yourself.”

“Relax. At least try. Turn off all screens. Put on some music. Go for a walk. Breathe. Clear your mind. Let all those thoughts out. Tell them to someone, and if you can’t speak them, write them down. Just get them out of your system. It will alleviate the burden you carry.”

“Just live every moment as it comes. We don’t need to worry about what may or may not happen all the time. Enjoy now. It’s all we have. ‘The future is composed of nows’, remember?”.

“Accept things for what they are. It is what it is. The less resistance you pose against reality, the less pain you’ll experience, and the lighter and more carefree you’ll feel.”

“So, what did we say: How do you climb a mountain? One step at a time.”

“Just breathe. It’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to. The universe knows where it’s directing you. It’ll be better than you expected. And it will help you evolve. You’ll become better too. It’s certain.”

Profound wishes all year through

It’s usually birthdays that give us a chance to review and reflect on where you’ve been and where you’re going. But the eve of a New Year fills you with determination and a goal-oriented mindset to improve things, to change, to evolve, to get out of the ‘same old’ and into something new, better, and exciting.

We look forward to new adventures with the passion to create new memories, surrounded by people with love and moments filled with laughter. We want to let go of the baggage we carry – be it emotional, psychological, or literal. We want to walk forward lighter, happier, and with a more optimistic outlook on life. Because the truth is that nothing is as idyllic as we hoped or we imagined, and most things in this life are beyond our control. We can manage our own reactions and response to everything though. And sometimes, things do happen for us and not to us.

So let’s commit to making these resolutions true all year round and not just the first couple of weeks. Let’s allow our actions to talk for us. Let’s share our moments of happiness and love with the people around us and not on our social media. And let’s vow to make this year the best yet, with nothing (and no one) less but with more and profound – more experience, more smiles, more growth in every aspect.

Here’s to a New Year full of sparkles and bangs and excitement all 12 months through!

Happy New Year everyone!

Genuine Smiles

There was a difference between when she smiled wholeheartedly and when she simply forced it. Her aunt knew how to read her. She was just like her. The fake smile caused more muscles to tense. It was strained and didn’t seem natural.

We all have moments like that. When we feel obligated to smile and be courteous when in fact we feel nothing like it at all.

Charlotte saw so much of herself in her niece. Joy lived up to her name most times. But when her aura clouded, it could be sensed a mile away.

“The secret to maintaining that smile is to keep the child inside you alive”, Charlotte said.

Joy tilted her face like a cat in awe.

“Think about it: when we’re simply living in that moment, blurring everything around us to the point that nothing else exists beyond what we’re doing and who we’re with at the present time, aren’t we happier? We shift all our focus to that precise period of time that we don’t care about past or future or anything else that causes us concern and stress. We feel relaxed, playful, carefree, and genuinely happy. Your heart is open to love and…well, joy, and your mind is thinking positively by default. You view the world brighter because you’ve turned the mood switch to that direction”.

Joy smiled, her head turned back straight. The smile was authentic this time.

She didn’t need to say much. Charlotte understood anyway. She gave her a hug. One of those long ones where you wait for the other person to let go first and so you stay entangled for what seems like hours, laughing while you feel each other’s heart vibrate. The embrace was so tight, Charlotte could actually feel the crack that had marked Joy’s emotions.

“We’re all loving people the way we wish we were loved and hurting them the way we wish we were not hurt”.

“How different the world would be if we could – even for an instance – see things from another’s point of view, step in their shoes and view their perspective. How much better everything would be, if we could just let our pride aside for a minute and show some empathy to the people around us, particularly to those we say we care for the most”.

“Sometimes, love has a way of coming back to you”, Charlotte added, loosening the squeeze.

“If it’s meant to be, it won’t miss you. There is always a way if we truly want it”.

Coloured time

©GE

And just like that, summer has passed and we’re already in the middle of autumn.

Without even realising how the days have gone by so quickly.

Often when we’re too busy with life itself, we don’t have time to even consider how it flies by.

Perhaps it’s better that way too.

Because we enjoy it more.

We fill our days with adventure, so much that it finds us even when we’re not looking for it.

The key is this: to keep yourself entertained so you are barely able to sulk about anything negative.

Keep your eyes, mind, and heart open. Good things are coming if you send out the right vibes.

Live with a grateful heart

We should be grateful for friends to whom we can turn and say “I’m gonna moan for 20 minutes straight” and they’ll just make you comfortable and listen to every complaint you make.  We should be grateful for people to whom talking feels like therapy. For the family we choose to support us when life turns upside down.

We should be grateful for so much more than we actually do.

Because we don’t realise the instability of the modern world. How things may change in an instant. How plans rarely work out and how we’re often forced to forge different paths ahead.

When we get too comfortable to move, alter, or evolve, life will usually find ways to push us out of it.

We may need to reassess our entire theory of the world, but it will probably be for the best. If we’re not obliged to exit our comfort zone, we will never realise the potential we have.

This social-media-driven world has manufactured a mentality where everyone – every single person out there – has a voice that they too often than not use to proclaim how perfect and outstanding they are. Yet, it is those who have nothing to say that usually shout the loudest, and those who have nothing to show for that proclaim their greatness. Others simply try to prove their worth in actions, not hollow speeches.

We live in a contemporary state of constant disappointment but not surprise. Because we’ve learned to expect the worst, despite fighting for the best.

Regardless, however, there are so many things to still be grateful for: our good health, the family around us, the friends who embrace us, and the love we receive from the people we truly cherish.

Pause and breathe

There is always something to do in a day. If you want to, you can find tonnes of things to keep you occupied – doing your actual work being a fundamental one.

But the thing is, nowadays, we lack the will to do pretty much anything.

We may blame it on languishing, the phenomenon of our times. But it may also be due to a series of reasons.

Life’s hectic rhythms sometimes result in us being too exhausted to be productive. And we realise that if we pressure ourselves, whatever we deliver will not be up to our own high standards. Perhaps that is why we prefer to do anything else, other than our obligations. And that anything else is often nothing. (Unless binging on TV series and Netflix counts as something).

We need days off. If anything to clear our minds and actually relax. Those moments we spent as kids just lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, daydreaming; well, they were actually priceless. Now, we seem to be lacking time for a proper meal, let alone for an instance of losing ourselves in space.

But it is necessary to breathe. To hit pause and do nothing, simply so we can get back on track of actually doing all the things that we’re used to filling our days with.