It’s all in the eyes

When someone is passionate about what they are talking about, when they really feel it to their bones and you can sense that enthusiasm oozing out of their every being, you can also see it in their eyes.

Notice it next time someone is telling you about something that incites them.

If they truly embrace what they’re talking about, their eyes will glimmer. You will witness their body movements alter as if to transmit to you that excitement they’re feeling.

You can tell a lot by looking into someone’s eyes.

It’s not just the profoundness of their soul that is depicted there; it’s also the sensitivity of their character.

People’s eyes well up when they’re discussing something sensitive or moving, something deeply personal that reaches in and touches every intimate chord.

The eyes get bigger and flare up when you’re angry and irritated about something and tempers rise.

But they also soften and can emit compassion when you’re listening with empathy to a person you love.

Try it. Just sit and watch people as they behave in their day-to-day lives. Shyness is indicated by the tendency to avoid eye contact. Anxiety by the opposite – rapid eye movements all over the place. Sadness by the fact that the gaze is constantly downwards. Hope by the wandering of the sight beyond what is visible. And admiration by the way the eyes light up when faced with a loved one.

At speeches of inspiring people, look around for a while. Observe how people listen. How they hang onto each word. Or how they boringly stare at their phones instead.

At weddings, witness the love that is radiated from the smiling eyes of the groom as the bride walks up to the altar, and in the emotional sight of the bride as she caresses her new husband.

Love comes in so many forms, but its purest is in what the eyes betray.

It’s all in the eyes. They never lie.

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Mob mentality

There was an inexplicable feeling that something was wrong. As if the entire scenario of what they were experiencing had an innate defect. One that no one was yet able to prove or discern.

It was a crisis like no other. One which had eradicated all sense of what was logical, rational, or simply a common understanding of the slightest of things.

Misinformation was being spread out from the source and diffused like ripples in a lake. It only took two-three people to begin to replicate what they heard, without questioning anything, wholeheartedly believing that their arguments were valid and true. Fear was being disseminated like logic, although few resisted and dug deeper into their investigation of the truth.

But mob mentality is a difficult thing to permeate. Because it is true that united, there is a greater force.

Even when it is fighting on the wrong side.

Even when it is manipulating (hidden) facts.

Even when it is wrong.

Also part of Your Daily Word Prompt

Being where you are

In a culture of constant consumerism, incessant competition, and individualism, the paradox of social distancing has depreciated even the most common-sense norms of cultural etiquette.

We are now dubious and suspicious of everyone and anyone, as they could be a potential virus-carrier or transmitter. We have become even more isolated in our homes, opening our door only to those we know well and failing to make any new acquaintances.

We have a routine that, albeit different to the one we used to have several months ago, is still something that keeps our life somewhat normal.

Yet, the entire way that our lives have changed this year has highlighted the fact that in essence very few people are happy and/or satisfied with the life they have.

Self-isolation, quarantine and lockdown has raised the curtain to everything we hid under the carpet and failed to acknowledge for so long. It has lifted the veil from our eyes and cleared our vision on the relationships we have, the people we surround ourselves with, but most importantly, who we truly are.

It has also exacerbated our sense of longing to be somewhere else – anywhere else – than our current location. Removing someone the choice of doing something, automatically makes that option desirable and spurs a reaction.

But the honest truth is this: No-one wants to live where they are. Everyone wants to live in a fantasy.

But the fact that even our futures no longer seem certain, let alone, controllable, makes even that fantasy world appear bleak.

The trick is to create your own circumstances, realising your fantasy by exploiting where you are at each precise moment.

Not easy, but very possibly worth it.  

Writing down the truths we cannot say

It is often urged as a step to healing to write down your emotions, your thoughts, everything you keep inside. It is believed that putting the thoughts inside your head on paper is actually a therapeutic form of tension release. The toxins that you keep locked inside will flow via ink on paper and relieve you from the stress.

But it is also a way of getting to terms with a truth you keep concealed even from yourself.

There are so many things going on inside our minds that we tell no one. Sometimes we don’t even admit them to ourselves.

And often that is what hurts us the most. Failure to acknowledge facts keeps our emotions perplexed and maintains our mood in a complex state.

In short, we cannot fix what we do not accept.

So we are urged to write.

We write down made-up stories to tell the truths we wish we could say out loud.

And in these, we hope to find some consolation, some relief, some healing.

We all become what we pretend to be

©Dale Rogerson

As a child, she loved pretending and wearing costumes. Her favourite drama teacher warned that “no one can wear a mask for very long”. She needed to learn to distinguish when she was playing a role, and when she was being herself.

It was a dangerous thing to wear a mask and a costume; “we all become what we pretend to be”.

They strange thing she realised while acting was that a single person can wear many masks. And with each, they’ll tell another truth.

Yet, she loved to act; simply by changing looks and attitude, she could be anyone.

“A man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth” – Oscar Wilde

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

A social condition

They called it a condition. He called it honesty. But sometimes it made him seem rude. He couldn’t tell the difference.

He was used to speaking his mind without camouflage or fake kindness. If he didn’t like something he would say it, if he disagreed with someone he would point it out. Simply said, he couldn’t feign politeness in a world filled with people wearing masks.

He wasn’t the one to hide; from anyone or anything. But that often got him into trouble. Because not everyone appreciated the sincerity in which his words were uttered.

His belief was that if people couldn’t handle the truth, they shouldn’t be doing or saying things that were contrary to it.

In fact, he was convinced, that if people followed the norms of proper social conduct, so many fake masks would not be necessary.

But that was simply his thoughts. He lacked tact but that did not make him any less of a person than anyone pretending to be his friend.

What you see is often what you actually get

“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” – it’s Newton’s Third Law of Physics. Or put plainly: whatever you give out will come back to you.

Wouldn’t that be great if it were true? If all the attention, effort and emotion you put into your relationships, your work, your life in general, was reciprocated? If the people you were there for when they needed you, would also run to your side when difficulty hit your door?

We don’t always get what we deserve. No matter how much we try or appeal for it. Some things are beyond our control, and although it’s hard to swallow, we need to accept that we are not always responsible for the way people behave or even treat us. It’s a matter of character, of mentality, of experiences, of upbringing; of a series of factors we have no effect over.

What we can do is stop putting ourselves out there for people who won’t do the same for us. Because, usually, when people show you they don’t care, it’s because they probably really don’t. You need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and regain the strength you had before all the emotion got to your brain. Sometimes we need to behave more rationally than emotionally for our own mental health and wellbeing.

You reach a point at times when you realise there is no use in putting others before your own self. In the end, you’re most likely the only one who does.  And you simply end up losing yourself in the process.

The biggest lie we tell ourselves

Society, they say, is a reflection of its people. Of their mentality, their habits, their behaviour. Similarly, rulers, or rather the ruling elite, the leaders on top, ideally represent the people they ‘serve’. Regardless if they eventually convert to serving and satisfying their own needs at the expense of the populace.

Carl Thomas, an American journalist, had said: “in a free society, government reflects the soul of its people. If people want change at the top, they will have to live in different ways. Our major social problems are not the cause of our decadence. They are a reflection of it”.

People are seen as naïve; no matter how educated they want to believe they are. Because in the end we all prefer to believe comforting lies than inconvenient truths. And in the case of the populace, history has proven that they will support the person who gives them the biggest lie. Because it covers up more of their life’s dissatisfaction.

Between history and politics, the latter has also proven to be the strongest. Because it manages to repeat itself. And we seem to be unable to learn from history. We allow ourselves to keep falling in the same traps, even if we know how things turn out – how the post is more important than the knowledge or skills; how clientelism rages everywhere; how civil administration does not work for the people but for those in charge of it; how rulers everywhere seek to primarily further their own aims and then their county’s – if at all. Yet, we prove wanting in many ways and incapable of changing anything for the better. Because improving things takes work. And no one is willing to do it.

We’d rather engage in big talk and criticism rather than act.  And that is our greatest weakness.

The reason things happen

People come into your life for a reason. Even if they are just passing by or here to stay for the long-term, they all have a purpose for doing so. From the old woman you help across the street, to the kind newspaper boy, the caring waitress, the rude civil servant, the cheating landlady, the dishonest lawyer, the profane bus driver…

No matter how soon or how late something or someone appears, you need to trust that their timing was ideal. There are so many sayings that “everything happens for a reason”, “you get what you give”, “if it is meant to be it will be” and so on, but what we all truly need to believe is that there is a purpose in everything. In things that happen and those that don’t. Even the slightest of coincidences can turn out to be something remarkable. A serendipity of unbeknown beauty. We just need to be open enough to accept it all.

People come into our lives for a reason. You may not remember everyone who has been part of your life, and likewise they probably won’t remember you either. But what about those who make an impact on your very being? Who leave their mark on your heart? Who help develop your personality, your passion, your character? The very essence of who you are?

There are some people with whom you develop a tie stronger than a sailor’s knot. One that no matter how far you run and how much you try to break it, it only tightens and brings you closer. It is with people like these that time is never enough to talk about everything you want. You can spend hours on end discussing unconnected issues, yet later you will always remember something else that remained unsaid. It is equally with people like this, that even if you have not seen each other for months, it does not matter; you pick up right where you left off, as if a chronological gap never occurred. With no awkwardness, no embarrassment. Just honesty.

People come into our lives for a reason. We might be blind to it and first. But then, those moments arrive when we sit in silence and reminisce about all we’ve been through, when all those persons and all those moments pass like a film reel in our mind, virtually spilling out a stream of memories – good and bad – demonstrating how we’ve grown with and because of every single one of them.

Karma brings people and situations in our lives for a reason. We can chose to ignore them or learn from them. Either way, it will make our lives richer for the experience alone…

“An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break. May you be open to each thread that comes into your life – the golden ones and coarse ones – and may you weave them into a brilliant and beautiful life.” – Chinese proverb

Things you never tell

Everyone – no matter age, gender, social background, or political beliefs – has things they always want to say but never do. Things are just left boiling up inside of us, yet are never uttered. No matter the instance or the person, there are similarities we all share. Here are a few:

– I dislike rude people. Even more so when they work at service desks, either in person or over the phone. Also hypocrites. They are possibly worse.

– I cannot stand people who think they are so important that everyone must set out the red carpet whenever they simply show up. Self-interest, self-prioritisation and greed are possibly the worst of humanity’s greatest evils.

– I am deeply disappointed by people who so boldly state that they will always be there when you need them, but are nowhere to be seen when that time actually comes. Equally despicable are those who pretend to listen but never do.

– I despair with the fact that I cannot get paid for the work I produce, which is doing something that I love.

– I hate that another so easily manages to engage in doing exactly what I am still striving to achieve. I hate it more because I envy them. Yet, some are now doing what they previously scolded me for pursuing so ardently.

– I love what my work allows me to do, but I am opposed to sending my work out with someone else’s credentials, simply because they cannot produce the work they so proudly proclaim they can do.

– I get irritated by people who think they are educated simply because they graduated from a university, but cannot correctly compose a simple text, while they have difficulty even in articulating a few words.

– I despise the fact that money may not be everything but it definitely helps in getting you everywhere faster.

– I resent the truth in the saying “do good constantly and you will never be remembered, do wrong once and you will never be forgotten”.

– I am heartbroken that things never turn out the way you want them, no matter how hard you try, and you always have to settle for the next best thing. Unless you’re the guy next door. Because it seems for the neighbor, everything is always so much easier.

Also part of Daily Prompt: Break the Silence