MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “understanding”

Date of maturation

http://www.robertotoole.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Alaska_Eagles_DS7_1547_N.jpgA person very dear to me recently told me how wonderfully I’ve matured over the past few years. I don’t like the feeling of growing older, to be honest. But I do enjoy the experiences and the adventures of a time well-spent and a life enjoyed to the fullest. And knowing that all that brings out the best in you, is a feeling like no other.

Because in reality, maturity is not something that comes with age. Far from it. It is, as time passes, however, that you become more aware of the world around you. Of how everything works, the unwritten rules, the human relationships, the fragments of society and all the things no-one talks about.

You mature through the life lessons you learn. Through the times you fall down and get hurt, and the corresponding more that you get up and continue. Through all those instances you survive, no matter how hard it seemed at the time.

You grow up not when you reach a certain age. But when you become independent enough to be able to cope on your own. To be capable of facing crises without panicking, freezing and needing to call for help.  It happens when you develop the necessary attitude to face the world.

Maturity, it is said, is not when we start speaking big things…it is when we start understanding small things.  It’s learning which battles are worth fighting, and realizing that many things don’t require your comment.  It’s feeling content with simply knowing you’re right about something, without needing to prove someone else wrong. And it’s in feeling well and sure about yourself despite everything else.

Like another dear friend pointed out, Shakespeare was right about one thing we should all stick to above all: “to thine own self be true”. Always. Knowing that this is what matters more than what other people think, is evidence enough that you have reached that other level.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Crisis

Listen to the silence

http://www.servicespace.org/inc/ckfinder/userfiles/images/dgood/silence-the-mind.jpgCan you do that? Can you hear the words I fear to speak? The ones running through my head. Those that don’t want to be uttered, yet need to be heard?

Can you read through the glow of my eyes? Can you see what I desire for you to comprehend? Can you feel how much I want you to know about everything that is causing a whirlwind inside of me?

Sometimes it is the quietest minds that speak the loudest.

All it takes is the ability and desire to hear them even when they don’t speak a word.

It’s that kind of person you seek when you feel most frail, as fragile as a crisp leaf in a storm.

The person you know you can trust no matter what. The one who will capture your heart as soon as they catch your eye. And the one who will remain there, no matter how much time passes by.

The people who are able to listen to your silence, exactly when you need to say the most.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Frail

Matching levels

http://www.letuspublish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/xCute-friendship-wallpaper-download-1024x768.jpg.pagespeed.ic.qfuv0GACdr.jpgA wise old woman once told me that you should look to find someone who matches your level. It may sound simple, but as you mature and widen the perspectives through which you view the world, you realise that this is more difficult than it seems.

Every day we meet various people from different fields of social life. It depends on what we do and the circles within which we interact, but, regardless, if you look around you, you will see that we are surrounded by people from varying age groups, educational levels, social backgrounds, religious convictions, sexual orientations, financial prosperity, nutritional preferences, etc. What makes us get along better with some over others is, however, common habits and perceptions. Having similar viewpoints is something that would enable you to develop closer ties with certain people. It’s those who you choose to be your friends, your confidants, your partners. But, even with them, some times you need to compromise to resolve potential arguments in case your beliefs collide, and in order to maintain a harmonious relationship.

It is said that as you grow older you become more selective and ultimately more demanding with those you have next to you. You also tend to become more experienced, which in most case (should) mean that you are more knowledgeable of life itself.

Hence, the reason to seek out someone of your level.

Because you need someone on your side with whom you can discuss politics and current affairs, but also sports, technology, fashion, and celebrity gossip. You want to have the option of talking about everything and anything at any given time. It is the concept of having a broad education and being aware of what is going on in the world we live in. That is why you need someone who also shares this outlook.

You yearn for someone who can comprehend that when you say you haven’t slept because you were up all night covering a major ground-breaking news development, that means that you literally did not get any sleep and that is nowhere near the same as staying up at a party (yet getting at least 2-3 hours sleep in the early morning hours).  Someone who can see that when you’re on the verge of exhaustion, you – just like everyone – have your own way of reacting to it, wanting to be alone in tranquility and avoiding chatter. Someone who can actually understand that complex nature of what it is you do for a living and respect the difficulty it entails, despite the flexibility of the job. Someone, who will understand all of the above and try to assist you, even when you don’t ask for help.

We all want someone in our lives who we’ll call a friend, but will really be family. A home away from home when necessary. The person who’ll freely give out hugs or offer alcohol whenever needed. And the one who will know which occasion calls for which remedy accordingly.

But what we need most of all, is people surrounding us with whom you don’t need to lower your level to fit in. People with whom you’ll challenge each other to become better, smarter and more informed. That is how the world would change for the better. By pushing each other forward. Not the opposite.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Companion

Knowing the mountain

http://www.wallpaperup.com/156976/forest_trees_landscape_house_mountains_autumn_fog.htmlHow much do you really know a person? How much can you truly say you understand about them from the few (or even many) hours you spend with them? Can you comprehend the flicker of their eyes when they’re stressed? Or the jolting of their hands when under pressure? Can you tell if they are smiling because they’re genuinely happy or because they’re trying to conceal a sadness unbeknownst to others? Can you ever grasp where their thoughts are travelling to when they gaze blankly into space, uttering that everything is fine?

We meet so many people during the course of our lives. People we run into by accident and never see again. People who stay and become family. People who pass through enriching our experiences and bequeathing us with lessons that help us mature and move forward. But how many of those people can you truly claim to know? To comprehend who they are, even beyond what they tell you? To realise what it is they are saying without them voicing it? How many of those people can you identify with so deeply that you are certain you’re part of their lives?

Introverts, they say, feel more comfortable closing up in their own shell at times. But that is often when they need someone the most. Someone they don’t really need to talk to, drawing comfort from the fact that there is just someone there, who (shows s/he) cares. That doesn’t necessarily only apply to introverts, though. All people need some time alone. But we all need the reassurance that someone is quietly looking out for us and worrying when we’re not OK.

The key to understanding people is noticing the little things they do. Those small gestures that betray some minor, yet significant, trait of their character. How people play with their hair or fiddle when they’re nervous. How their eyes sparkle when they’re happy. How their voice changes according to the emotion. How they can rejoice with the tiniest of things that make them feel special. How they are fighting an identity crisis on the inside but are seemingly invincible and fearless on the outside. How even the most certain and outgoing people have a part of them that is fearful and in need of encouragement.

You may live with people your entire life and never truly know them. It is like residing in the mountain valley and never climbing the steep path to the top. It may take effort, but the result will justify you in more ways you can imagine.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Mountain

Stronger than you

https://daabrams.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/img_8403.jpgEvery person has a story to tell. And unless you know what that story is, you really are in no position to judge, criticise, or make fun of them. No matter how light-heartedly it may be. Because you surely don’t know what the person hides behind the smile they constantly wear, or the glimmer that is so apparent in their eyes. You can’t tell if what they are laughing at may be burning them down inside.

If you take a moment and observe the world around you, the people with whom you are surrounded by each and every day, you’d be amazed at the vastness of different tales that exist. Personal tales of courage, of strength, of survival. People who have fought diseases and won, others who are fighting them every day. These latter ones are perhaps the boldest, because it is harsh knowing that what you have cannot be cured. At least not yet.

That is what the theme of today (25 May 2016) is: #WorldMSDay. It is about raising awareness about an illness that creeps slyly into people’s lives and sticks with them, no matter how insistently they try to shake it off. Multiple Sclerosis is an autoimmune disease, one that has been described as the disease of 1000 faces, because it affects everyone differently. People are forced to live with it and go along their lives, working, partying, exercising, like everyone else. Just not. Because they have to fight harder. They also have to face the uninvited and unintended (sudden) onsets of fatigue, of somewhat intense mood swings, of becoming more introvert at times. Now, if you’re a woman, once a month you face similar reactions in a more insane manner. But it’s not the same. And it is certainly not something that is easy for others to understand. Nonetheless, like this year’s theme (#StrongerthanMS) demonstrates, people diagnosed with MS can also be productive members of society, just like everyone else – athletes, politicians, actors, educators, professionals, musicians, anything – and here is a list of celebrities diagnosed with MS to prove it.

You don’t really fully comprehend any of this until it becomes part of your life too. A few years ago, I met a person giving his own battle daily. And he is one of the strongest people I know. Because it takes courage to make your private story public. To let people in to your thoughts and make them aware of the challenges you face. But like C.S. Lewis said, “hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny”. Because sometimes, things happen so we live a better and fuller life. And people who realise the futility of most things we anguish about daily, are the ones who know best how to appreciate the small things, the simple moments that make life great.

It is not the people who run after the spotlight who deserve it, it is the ones who fight alone in the shadows, for they are the ones who offer inspiration.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Pensive

Feisty, Bitchy, Sassy, Ethereal

Fashionable Women SilhouettesTo say all women are bitches is a very broad generalization. And we shouldn’t generalize as much. Because women can also be kittens, cats, tigers, even lionesses at times. It is safe to say, however, that all women have an animal inside.

There have been many many things said about women. Ever since the beginning of time, a woman is considered “the weaker sex”, but at the same time the complicated one, the controversial one, and the emotional one (exhibited in every sense). In modern times, women have become all the more empowered, emancipated and confident. Something that leads to the derogatory term that originated in the 14th century and suggested high sexual desire in a woman, comparable to a (female) dog in heat. However, today, the range of meanings has expanded in modern usage and in a feminist context, it can indicate a strong or assertive woman. It is also reminiscent of the fact that if you treat a woman right, you’ll have an angel for life, but be warned “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”.

It is is a common saying that behind every successful man, there is a brilliant woman, or as John Lennon put it “there is a great woman behind every idiot”. The Ancient Greeks described the world’s three evils as being “fire, women and the sea”. It is no wonder why women are seen as such diverse creatures (being one I can testify first-hand). Women have to fight with mood swings that catch everyone by surprise, even themselves at times. They have to bleed once a month and deal with the consequent PMS that comes along with this. They are more jealous than the queen of the alley cats and are willing to get into extremes simply to mark their own territory. Women rarely embroil in “cat fights”, however, preferring the more effective sarcastic and fake compliment-offering instead. In fact, this is also a huge difference with men – how often have you heard of men quarrelling being described as a “dog fight”? Men actually pride of being called a “dog”, contrasting the equivalent situation for the female gender.

Women bedazzle men and other women because more often than not they do not know what they want, but they expect others to know. They want you to understand without them having to explain. You need to know and anticipate their every move and desire, and most times you will never get it right either way, whatever it is you do. Perhaps this is why men discovered the phrase “Yes, dear”, most effectively said with a condescending nod.

Females of all species are indeed hard to understand. They need constant courting and attention, unless they don’t. So go figure. They are too hard to understand, almost impossible. But at the same time it is this constant mystery that enwraps them that makes them so attractive, so provocatively intoxicating and so difficult to live without.

Let’s face it, Adam could not live alone without Eve, even if she was the reason they both got expelled from Paradise. So let her complain, let her moan and nag, let her shout and cry, it will all pass. Wouldn’t you want to be there for the good times? The sweetness, the generosity, the surprises? She will definitely make it all worth it. Women have that ability. To make up for everything in the end.

 

Also part of Daily Prompt: Unsung Heroes

A helping paw

CatsPawThere are moments in your life when you need a helping hand to get you back on track. To support you and transmit to you the feeling that everything will be all right, even if at that moment it doesn’t appear to be so. To reach out into your heart and make you feel loved, supported and – most importantly – not alone. And there are moments when that helping hand does not come from those around you, but from the most unexpected sources.

To me that helping hand for seventeen years, was my beloved pet cat. She was the one who could bring you up when you were feeling down. Who would come and crawl under the blanket beside you, clinging onto you with her paws simply so you would feel her presence, signifying that you were not alone. She was the one that could look into my eyes with her two big shiny eyes and reach right into my soul. Who could understand how I felt, and what I was thinking without me needing to utter a word. She was the one that stretched out a helping hand (or paw) when I was depressed.

People who have no pets cannot understand the magic and wonder of sharing your life with these wonderful creatures. They can sense your mood, thoughts and feelings, as if through a sixth sense, and know exactly what to do to change it. Be it rolling off the bed by accident; sleeping upside down or in other weird positions; or chasing flies of all sorts across the room, they are a constant pick-me-up. And above all, they are always there when you need them.

Just look into the loving eyes of these beautiful animals and you will understand why this is one helping hand that will never let you down.

Also part of the Daily Prompt: Helping Hand

Also part of Daily Prompt: A Friend in Need

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