On an unknown path

©MCD_Makri

So what is it that we truly need to have fun? It’s not the location, not the material stuff, not the luxury or comfort, it’s not the resources. Regardless of what you may have in mind – and the fact that some of these do help make life easier – you don’t need a lot to enjoy your days.

All you really need is good humor, good friends and a good mood. (Although a drink or two also helps).

In essence, you realise that we are the ones complicating our lives without reason when you’re suddenly found in a place where there is not much to do and almost nothing to see.

So you acknowledge that very often than not it is the simplicity of things that helps you relax; you communicate faster and effortlessly; you enjoy your (longer) days more; and you certainly feel more satisfied. Because you’re actually enjoying yourself without straining too much for it. And that’s really the point. Isn’t it?

Every so often we need to get lost. To follow a path we don’t know where it leads, because life ought to be an adventure, and we should be willing to discover whatever it may bring. It may pleasantly surprise us.

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Fear of the unknown

“Come on, let’s go!” His voice was anxious, masking the excitement and enthusiasm of a well-kept secret only he knew.

She was reserved, almost scared. Where were they going? Why? What would be there? How would they go? How long would it take? Her mind was a whirlwind of questions. She probably appeared dazed too, perhaps betraying her confusion to the outsider. So much, that it prompted him to reassure her. “It’ll be fine. Don’t be so afraid. It’s going to be fun!”

He took her hand and led her to the car. He smiled at her, his eyes glowing. She smiled back nervously. “Sometimes you don’t need to have all the answers,” he said.

When the car stopped, he turned towards her. She was gazing outside trying to figure out where they were. “Close your eyes”, he said. She was almost shocked. “Come on, close your eyes. You’ll ruin the surprise otherwise. Don’t you trust me?” It was a cheap card to play – the trust issue – but he knew she would cave to it. “No peeking either!”

She gripped his arm as he led her out of the car and up a grassy hill. The fresh air penetrated her nostrils and filled her lungs with oxygen. It helped her get her mind off the fact that her heart was pumping mad with anguish about this unknown event.

“We’re here,” he said. She timidly opened her eyes.

In the middle of a picture-perfect scene – green valley, tall trees in bloom, colourful flowers, peace and quiet – there lay a picnic feast waiting for them.

She laughed wholeheartedly and jumped in his arms.

“Sometimes not knowing too much is the best way to keep calm,” he winked.

Deciphering obscure objects

“Look at this. Look at it closely. What do you think it is?”

She showed him a picture of an object that was too unclear to decipher. It was oblong with sharp edges. It could be anything really. His mind began to race. The young boy had millions of images in his head as to what that object may be. They were bombarding him like fighter plane missiles.

“Here’s the catch,” his teacher told him. “You only have two guesses. So make them count”.

The boy became even more agitated. Only two. The margin of error was too tight.

The object could be anything. How could he make sure he found the right answer?

In his head, he was putting together a jigsaw – placing his imaginary items onto the unknown object and assessing how far it matched.

It was a trial of imagination, of expectation, of prediction.

The task was to understand that very often in life, we imagine one thing, we expect another, we make it up in our heads to be that which we think it is, and in the end we end up disappointed when we find out it is something extremely different.

In the end we get hurt from our own expectations, when all we need to do is train ourselves to expect the lowest, even from the places and people we though the highest of.

In the shadow of fear

There is a wonderful Spanish proverb that is imprinted on my mind since I first watched Strictly Ballroom: Vivir con miedo es como vivir a medias. And it is true. If you live a life in fear, it is like living half a life. But if you stop and think it is actually frightening to consider how much fear is part of our lives. Fear of not being adequate, of getting hurt, of doing something wrong and getting punished. Fear of not accomplishing your dreams and risk being considered unsuccessful even by yourself. Fear of losing control, and then of having too much of it. Fear of not having enough, or of having too much you are in danger due to the envy of others. Fear of the uncertain, of the unknown. Fear of not being safe. Fear of embarrassment, of loss, of defeat. Fear of change. And lately the fear that you will not be able to provide for yourself, let alone for your next of kin.  The fear that you or your possessions are no longer safe no matter where you are. That even banks – those institutions that used to guarantee the protection of your life’s savings – will now rob you blind, let alone the risk of your accounts being hacked into.

Sophocles put it well: to him who is in fear everything rustles.

There are so many sources of fear that if you constantly dwell on them you will never even live, being afraid of even your own shadow. And the worse thing of all is that “there is no passion so contagious as that of fear” (Michel de Montaigne). Fear feeds on fear itself.

Everyone is afraid at times. It is a natural feeling to have. And fear is indisputably part of our lives. There are even times when fear is good, for it keeps you alert and is watchful of your heart’s desires. But how much it takes up of your life is clearly a personal choice. You can either chose to surrender to the gloom or resist the anxiety that looms behind each corner and perpetually feeds on itself. Negative thoughts accentuate fear. All you have to do is turn on the light…