Different is also good

© Dale Rogerson

It was going to be different. A destination none had even heard about before.

But that was the beauty of it. Exploring new places together. Boldly going where they had never been.

She didn’t mind, because she was with him.

He didn’t worry, because he was with her.

The important thing was that they would spend this time together.

And it is well known that unity makes force. With them united, they had nothing to fear.

It was different. But it was also wonderful.

Snowy and freezing outside, but warm and cosy inside.

With laughter and love to spread around.

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A hug and a hot beverage

“When people are upset, the cultural convention is to bring them a hot beverage”. So says Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.There is an intrinsic truth in that a warm drink offers comfort. It soothes your insides like a warm hug and subconsciously makes you feel a little better. As if giving you space and the capacity to breathe somewhat deeper.

The convention, however, lies in the fact that by offering a beverage, you demonstrate you care. And in essence, that’s what we’re all looking for. Someone to be there when we’re not ourselves. We need the assurance that someone is looking out for us when we’ve given up on that. That there are people who care, because we matter.

A hot beverage is more than just a comfort drink. It is like a hug in a mug. And we all know how important hugs are.

Family therapist Virginia Satir once said: “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”. But even then, they may not be enough. Hugging is an intimate expression of safety. You feel the other person’s heartbeat on your chest and instantly feel comforted and reassured that whatever it is you’re facing it will pass. What we’re really doing – if you come to think about it – is fighting away loneliness. Because that’s what scares us the most. Of grieving alone, of being overwhelmed by sadness alone, of not having anyone to alleviate the suffering you most probably create by overthinking.

So, offer hugs abundantly. And a hot beverage too.

That passing thought

©J Hardy Carroll

Have you ever had that passing thought of “let’s drop everything and leave?”

How quickly has that intention crossed your mind and entered the box of ideas that were never acted upon?

But what if you actually realised this one this time?

What if you did embark on an adventure? Just like that?

What if it really was as simple as your mind fantasizes it could be?

Because the truth is, life is simple. We just think too much and create problems and complexities where there are none.

We make things difficult for ourselves out of fear of the unknown.

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Brewing excitement

©Na’ama Yehuda

“You know that feeling of anticipation that you can feel brewing inside you and tingling even your toes? That’s how I felt the first time I arrived in this country”.

“Weren’t you scared? I mean, you literally left everything to start afresh somewhere you’d never been before”.

“Sure, beginning anew is always hard and challenging. Fear lurks in every thought you make. But there’s also something magical about it – all the opportunities and new prospects that await!”

He looked at her and she still blushed after all those years.

He smiled widely.

“Love gives you the power to do anything”.

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Truth in snow

©Dale Rogerson

They met in a snowstorm. Or rather, they truly saw each other in one. Because you never really know a person until you experience something challenging together. Until you witness a side that is not usually seen. The weaknesses and genuine personality. Things you often try to hide to the outer world.

The snowstorm was that crisis. But it was also the opportunity to come closer. It was when they acknowledged they had more in common that originally believed.

It wasn’t just friendship that joined them.

It was something deeper.

It took a white cloud for them to see it.

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Life’s wonder

©Alicia Jamtaas

But why now?

Because we don’t know what lies ahead. Because we can’t even be sure there is a future any more.

Because if not now, there will never be a better time.

If anything, life has shown us that we need to seize every single moment, each opportunity to do something different that may prove life-changing, to take a step that may lead to somewhere new and unexpected.

Things may seem broken and you may feel lost. But if you’re awake to life’s wonder, you’ll realise nothing truly happens by chance.

Just be open to the possibilities that await.

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The summer trip

©Jean L. Hays

When the heatwave set in, it was evident to most people that they were all in desperate need of a holiday. Everything bad seemed accentuated: the misery, the constant nagging, the rudeness among everyone. It was difficult keeping a good mood and pleasant character amidst it all.

But Maggie did her best.

Because this year she was looking forward to the summer recess more than anything.

This year she would go to the Caribbean. It was a dream trip.

And although she had volunteered to work at a marine center training dolphins, she knew this summer would change her life.

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Generation Gaps

“You know, when we were young, our only way of communicating with each other was if we were both home and both had a landline. Otherwise we were sort of lost in our own worlds”.

The young girl looked up from her mobile phone.

She was astounded by the truth of her grandfather’s words. She lived in an age where you could communicate with anyone anywhere in a matter of seconds. She didn’t know what it was like to not have a phone in hand and for her it was unthinkable to not be able to find out at any given time where anyone was and what they were doing. Mostly because her generation voluntary gave out that information online.

“So what happened if you wanted to find out about someone but didn’t want them to know?” she asked coyly.

“Well, you would have to ask someone who knew them too”.

“But what if you didn’t want anyone to know?”

“Like stalking?” her grandfather put it frankly.

“Well, sort of…” she blushed.

“There was no such thing in my time. If you’re relationship broke with someone, you tried to fix it. And if that didn’t work then you just got out of touch with them. And that was the end of it”.

The girl said nothing. She looked at her grandfather trying to imagine what that was like. Her generation was used to stalking each other on social media and getting obsessed with each other’s posts, overanalyzing, overthinking and overstressing. Everything in exaggeration. What was it like to not have to think about all this? To simply not care? To be calm?

Her grandfather was almost 100. He would still go out for long walks and had the patience of a mule.

She was agitated by even a fly’s buzz.

One time she had asked him if he never worries about anything. His reply was: “would it help?”

“To be calm is the highest achievement of the self” – Zen proverb

Lotus date

© David Stewart

The lotus flower is unique in its beauty. People are often urged to be like it: to trust the light, grow through the dirt, and believe in new beginnings.

It may not last long in its bloom, but it offers a beautiful sight.

She couldn’t look at a lotus the same way after that night.

It was their first romantic outing in town. And everything seemed so princely. It was those feelings she could not forget, no matter if the details of the date eluded her thereafter.

It all seemed so ideal at first. So perfect.

But it doesn’t last.

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We all become what we pretend to be

©Dale Rogerson

As a child, she loved pretending and wearing costumes. Her favourite drama teacher warned that “no one can wear a mask for very long”. She needed to learn to distinguish when she was playing a role, and when she was being herself.

It was a dangerous thing to wear a mask and a costume; “we all become what we pretend to be”.

They strange thing she realised while acting was that a single person can wear many masks. And with each, they’ll tell another truth.

Yet, she loved to act; simply by changing looks and attitude, she could be anyone.

“A man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth” – Oscar Wilde

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