What are we left with in the end?

What are we left with when everything disappears? When we return to empty rooms from which people are missing? In the silence of our minds, what is the first thought that pops up?

How many truly dare to remain alone? To sit with our problems, with all the nasty scripts that our imagination plays in our heads, with our fears and concerns?

How many really have the courage to fight with our own selves and come out victorious? To convince us above all others that we are so much more than what we fear, than the very labels we place on ourselves? Perhaps it is valid that our worst enemy is our own self, and we thus often hardly desire to face them. We prefer to constantly occupy ourselves with something, with seasonal activities, with short-lived relations and activities that distract us even if only for a while.

But love and friendships come and go like the ebb and flow of tides. And we become used to it. To that lack of permanence, the absence of something with which to evolve, to change, to grow; to substantially experience every tiny or huge life moment with.

We end up convincing ourselves that we do not want much. Lest we feel pressured. Lest we become overwhelmed with too much information we cannot process. Lest we connect too deeply. Lest we feel.

We prefer to throw things out and replace them rather than fix them and enhance them.

We say we cannot manage any more. That we tried too much and grew weary. But that is not true. Because we simply want to avoid the inconvenience and challenge of getting out of that zone of complacency and comfort that we’ve created.

We live devoid of emotion and end up hardly living at all. Because we think that this is how we preserve ourselves, our personalities, and our ego.

But this is how we lose anything worth having. Anyone who could lift us up, help us develop as beings, and make us better.

We lose the game before we even play because we’re so afraid of what may happen if we do not win.

We’re too scared of getting attached that we end up alone despising our own loneliness.

If growth hurts, how are we to break our own bondage without exiting our comfort zone? Without loving, giving it all, hurting, breaking, fighting, fixing, and eventually holding on to everything that truly matters? Anything that makes us better. That which absorbs our thoughts in the morning and keeps us awake at night.

You can feel what really matters deep in your soul. It grips you.

That is how you know.

And that is what you are left with in the end.

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Walk up

© Amanda Forestwood

“It’s only a three-hour hike. Come on, it’s going to be easy,” she mimicked his voice when they were already walking for two hours up a steep hill with fallen moist leaves making the path slippery.

“Well, if I had told you it would have been this adventurous, you wouldn’t have joined. Plus, what’s the fun in it all being smooth? Ordinary is boring.” This last line was sort of his mantra. But it was also what made him so lovable among groups. He would constantly find something extraordinary to engage it and, most of all, to never give up.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Another Box

When we prepare to move house, we fill up boxes. Stuff that sometimes we didn’t even know we had that is, however, too valuable to throw away. We place things in boxes often for temporary storage. To transfer them somewhere else. To keepsake them still.

We position things in boxes even to just organize our rooms. But whatever is placed inside is something we hold dear, objects that are tied to sentiments, events, and people, but mostly memories. It is the reminiscence of how we felt when we were first given that particular item, flower, stuffed toy, photo, souvenir, ticket, letter, post-it, or whatever it is we cherish so much.

It’s the feeling we try to hold on to. Because that is what is so hard to accept letting go of. The emotion. That sense of happiness that overwhelmed us during the presence of the now-boxed item.

We fill our lives with boxes because, unfortunately, we cannot do so in our minds. The chaos in our heads often breaks relationships out of exaggerated minute disagreements. Our tolerance diminishes as we grow older and we prefer to fill up boxes, no matter how big or small, and move on. Or at least convince ourselves to do so. To rediscover our own self, to build our strength again in the hope that the next box we will fill will be only to be moved somewhere better to be reopened.

Imagine that

©MCD

Imagine if we had the courage to say everything we wanted to each other without the fear that we would be misunderstood.

Imagine feeling as loved and appreciated as we desired.

Imagine if everything we imagined turned out to be real.

But what if instead of imagining we tried to live it all?

What if we truly listened to each other without criticism or prejudice?

What if we dismissed the negative thoughts that overtake our minds and expect more joy and accept less pain?

Wouldn’t it all be easier that way?

Wouldn’t it be more peaceful?

Would it not relieve all doubt and make it all worthwhile?

Just imagine that.

House boats

© Brenda Cox

“People actually live in boats, you know. They’re like floating houses. Literally.”

“Why would anyone do that?” she asked inquisitively.

“Because it allows them the freedom to be anywhere at any time. They’re not bound to anything and can roam around freely as they wish; stay as long or as little as they like and move about without the commitments of a rooted house.”

“Yes, but that means they have nowhere to return to, or somewhere to call home.”

“Perhaps. Or they have everywhere to call home. The entire world for them is a borderless adventure waiting to be experienced.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

We make our days

©MCD

Drop what you’re doing. Stop for a minute. Look at this. Let your gaze wander outside. Out the window, over the sea, beyond the horizon. Allow yourself the luxury of doing nothing. It’s how your system replenishes.

Breathe. Inhale long, slow and deep.

Pull back your shoulders. Straighten your back.

Breathe. Exhale, slowly and steadily.

Fill your lungs and clear your senses.

Feel your soul lighten.

Relax. Rejuvenate. Revive.

Every day is an opportunity for a beautiful restart. Be grateful; appreciate it all. Make each day count.

Losing yourself

There is an astonishing trend in big cities: most people spend a great part of their waking hours every day moaning and complaining about their lack of funds, the difficulties their facing, and particularly their financial challenges. Yet, once a long weekend or a holiday opportunity appears, everyone rushes to flee as if someone left the gate to the cattle pen open.

It’s almost like a stampede occurs every opportunity for a getaway. It’s inexplicable how all of a sudden financial anguish is no longer a problem at this time, yet, after the holiday, the mundane grim reality of complaining about everything – and nothing changing – will return.

OK, let’s not overexaggerate, then. There are quite a few people who truly cannot afford to run away from daily life regardless of how much they could use it or desire it. But that’s not what we see, or what the media choose to focus on.

Why is it, though, that we so need to flee? Why is it that we just can’t wait to leave our everyday lives behind us and search for something new and different, even if only for a few hours or days, knowing that we will soon return to the ‘same old’?

Perhaps what most influences our longing to escape is if we’re not enjoying that ‘normalcy’ of ours. There is a saying that if you do what you love, you will never have to work a day in your life. Similarly, the goal is to create a life you don’t need to escape from. Because, if you relish what you do every day will be a new adventure.

There comes a time, however, where no matter where you are, you want to leave, to go somewhere else, usually, somewhere you’ve never been before. It is a desire to (re)connect with the vast world we live in, to meet new people, to experience eye-opening encounters; to refresh, rejuvenate, and refocus. To be able to return stronger, relaxed, and with a renewed perspective on life, to be able to generate fresh ideas, and be more creative in whatever you do.

At times we need to get lost to re-find ourselves.

Your most important ally

Why do we act like we do? It is a question that has troubled people throughout the ages – from philosophers, writers, sociologists, and psychologists, to modern therapists of all sorts. Why do we behave in certain ways? What triggers us to give resonance to certain thoughts and thinking motives over others? Why do we allow our minds to take so much control of our emotional reactions? What leaves us powerless before our own selves?

Taking charge of oneself is not an easy task. It requires you to understand yourself first. To come to terms with who you are, what affects you and why, and what you can do about it. It necessitates a process of observation above all. To realise first what is happening, to then accept it, and to often forgive yourself for it. We need to be kinder to ourselves, to talk ourselves up instead of down, to treat ourselves like the royalty that we are and to lift ourselves higher than we very often do.

Once we offer ourselves the value we deserve, and acknowledge it too, everything will change – both inside and outside. Because once you can deal with your internal turbulence, the exterior circumstances will seem a breeze. Things will affect you less and certainly not with the same force or attracting the same demeanour on your part. You will be able to allow things to slide and just accept that some things just are as such and there is not much you can do to control them. But even that is OK.

It’s all good if you first and foremost feel good inside.

Let things be

©Aska Bliss

There is a reason why they say that ignorance is bliss. Because if you are unaware of something, you won’t fret over it.

Often it is our own thoughts and the scenarios we draw up in our head that cause the greatest anxiety.

It is not by chance that the happiest people are those who concern themselves least of others, and of unpleasant situations. If we choose what we focus our energy on, we can filter out all the events that drain it too. This, also, is essentially a matter of choice and training your mind to be calm at all times. We can deal with a lot more than we think. And very often, we are strongest just when we think we are at our weakest point.

It’s not about ignoring everything around us. It’s rather about selecting what (and who) to engage with.

Sometimes the best thing you can do to retain your peace of mind is to just let things be, and let some go.

Convince yourself

©MCD

It’s not easy to force yourself to get out of bed at the break of dawn after having stayed out late the night before, with only a few hours of sleep, in order to go on a mountain trek under cloudy skies and light drizzle.

But it’s worth it.

You’ll only find it out if you convince yourself to go.

Whatever we do is a battle within ourselves, to persuade our own mind against our own thoughts. So, we’re tired; what if we talk ourselves out of it? Negotiate. We’ll do this or that and then reward ourselves with hours of sleep, food or relaxation.

We only regret the things we don’t do. And it’s a shame to waste away our days being lazy or making up excuses for not living up to our full potential. Our future self will be grateful we once pushed ourselves to the limit. Some experiences are simply worth the choices we make. We just have to dare things more.