Aim for the stars

It’s reviving to feel valued. To see the sparkle in someone’s eyes as they gaze at you with a mixture of amazement and pride. But above all, it’s empowering to be acknowledged and appreciated for exactly who you are and what you have to offer.

Not everyone who comes into your life can see that. Not everyone will stay. And not everyone will spark that excitement inside you.

Most will try to undermine you. Some will attempt to trip you up. And others will do their best to extinguish you. But you should just fight on. Do what you do best and disregard the voices around you (sometimes even those in your own head). Our innate instinct often knows better and that is what we should trust. If you are confident you are doing the utmost of your abilities, if you always aim for the stars, you most definitely will reach the sky.

There is no limit to what you can do if you truly aspire high. Regardless of what anyone says. Despite what your inhibitions are.

The only thing preventing you from becoming who you dream of is your own hesitations.

“It’s not who you are that is holding you back. It’s who you think you are not.”

Speak in any way

Your eyes can say things you refuse to utter. The things you keep sealed off in your silence. Those things that you slowly release with every sigh.

We can’t always comprehend what your soul is trying to say. That is why we need to speak. We need the voice to say what our heart fears to show.

Sometimes we need to shout, others to whisper; every form of communication, however, involves talking. There is often no other way of realizing what it is you feel, what thoughts you hide behind that veil of serenity. It is not easy to hear certain things. And often your fear overclouds what you utter. It is why it is said that you should not speak in panic or anger, for you do not know the (harmful) truths you risk saying.

But it is always best to say it. To look into the eyes you wish to address and truthfully pour out your heart’s concerns. It is the preferable and easiest way to avoid misunderstandings and lessen the path towards each other.

For the more you keep silent the more you push the other one away and the more your hearts drift apart.

The secret to any relationship is learning to speak to each other, even when we don’t want to.

The value of Joy

We all have a few voices in our head. They’re the ones that come to you when you’re fretting over a decision to make. Or when you’re in a fight with someone; when you’re too stressed to think straight. Or most of all, when you’re sick and too exhausted to move.

Our lives would be so much easier if only Joy was in our head. Jumping up and down with excitement. But we all experience periods of Sadness, Anger, Fear and even Disgust. They are all part of who we are. And they are the reasons why we appreciate Joy even more, and the moments we spend being happy.

It is during the moments that life strikes you down when you value the times when you are at your best and most upbeat. But it takes a lot of inner strength to get there, and support from those around you and not just the voices in your head.

The voices in your head

You know those voices in your head, the ones that appear every time you try to rationalize a decision? The ones that you picture like two tiny “you” like cartoon characters dressed like an angel and a demon standing on each of your shoulders? Those voices that either agree with you or (vulgarly) disagree with you? What? You don’t have them? Everyone does. It just depends on how much you listen to them, that you keep them alive and present. Marcia knew it well. Because she conversed daily with the voices in her head.

But it usually got her into trouble.

Like today.

Last night Alan had told her on the phone that he had something to tell her, but wouldn’t give out any more details. He said he would tell her in person today. Being a naturally very curious person, Marcia could hardly sleep all night. She kept thinking what it was that Alan wanted to tell her.

Alan was the next-door neighbor Marcia had a crush on ever since she moved in. He seemed to flirt with her every so often but Marcia had read signs so wrong in the past that she didn’t really know what to think. Unless he came straight out and blurted to her that he liked her, she would never feel certain.

But, what was it that he wanted to say to her? This is when the voices took center stage. The angel would say that he would ask her out on a date. Or he would make a romantic gesture. Or he would confess that she stole his heart from the very first look they shared. Marcia was delighted with the prospect. She could already feel her heart flutter with joy and her hands shaking with excitement.

But then, the devil took over. And he filled her with doubt and suspicion. That he already had a girlfriend and wanted to ask her to house-sit while they went away for a romantic weekend. That he wanted to tell her he was moving out. Or even worse that he was getting married and wanted to invite her. The horror. Marcia could feel the heat rise up and strike her head, just like the opposite of a brain freeze, if such a thing even existed.

She began considering what she would say in each occasion. She had to be prepared. Being caught off guard for bad news, especially when you were hoping for good ones, is the most embarrassing thing that could happen to you, according to Marcia. So, she spent the entire night and all through dawn quarreling with the voices in her head about what Alan wanted to tell her and how she would respond.

She got up today having hardly slept at all at night.

And when Alan appeared at the door all smiling and bright, Marcia was such a nervous wreck, she broke down in tears and slammed the door in his face.

Alan was dumbfounded. All he wanted to say was that the book Marcia had been expecting for weeks now had finally arrived and he had signed for it. He simply wanted to give it to her himself because he loved how her eyes lit up with the excitement of even simple things like this.

Who knew he would have been beaten by two little voices in her head?

What life sounds like

What does a roar sound like?

They tell me that when a footballer scores, the crowd “roars”. I don’t know what that sounds like.

All I see is people jumping up and down in the stands, with their faces mutating from the strain of excitement. They seem to be living every moment as if their life depends on that single goal. And when something goes wrong, you can see the blood gushing to their face, painting it red with anger.

They all seem to be yelling something at every instance, but I don’t know what it is.

I don’t like watching football. Everyone tells me that I am missing out from all the fun if no screaming is involved. But it is not my fault.

It is even worse when I go to a concert. Well, actually, when they drag me there and I just stare at the stage at people jumping up and down in what appears to be a contest of who will wear less clothes.

But I can’t hear anything.

I was born like this. Deaf.

I don’t know what a singing bird sounds like. Or what my parents’ voices are like.

I have never heard the crack of a biscuit, or the ruffling of leaves. Neither the sound of pages turning, or the beating of a heart. Nor the noise a jumping car makes, or the swish of waves.

I don’t know what music is. Or what it means to yell at the top of your voice to release the tension.

I never experienced the thrill of a good shout.

And I will never know what it means to roar like a lion when you are mad. Or sob and squeak like an infant when you are sad.

I wish I could hear a voice. Even an angry one. Just hear something.

I am living in a silent world. And the only thing I can hear is the sound of my heart breaking from it.