MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “decisions”

Sleep on it

There are many reasons to list as to what keeps you up at night. Environmental factors, too much stress, over-exposure to screens, jet lag, heavy food, medicine, or uncomfortable conditions are among them.

Romanticists claim you lie awake because you appear in someone else’s dream.

But in essence, we can’t sleep because we subconsciously burden ourselves with too many thoughts. We won’t allow ourselves to let go of everything that troubles our brains during the day. Consequently, we can’t find that much required peace to relax, to breathe out and alleviate the pressure we exert on ourselves.

We need constructive outlets to enable our minds to wander. To stop thinking for a while. To simply get lost in the moment.

Some would suggest meditation, but that’s not as easy as it sounds, and it requires great effort.

A more feasible solution is a walk on the beach, or even a dive into the sea. Salty water helps in washing away the problems, which we often create ourselves. It will get us feeling refreshed, relaxed, and revived. An essential process in assisting us to gather the courage to face everything that is causing us the initial stress.

We need to find time to escape our worries, if we are to find the strength to effectively deal with them. We can’t sleep on the decisions we need to make, if we can’t fall asleep to begin with.

Cold days

©MCD_Snow

There is a game to play when you want to make a quick decision and you’re hesitating between two options. To resolve the dilemma, you’re told to ask yourself a series of questions with two answers; the key is to respond as rapidly as possible without thinking too much. So when you get to the query at hand, you’ll answer quickly enough to know how you truly feel about it. Speed here leads to authenticity.

One such question could be if you prefer to be too hot or too cold. But what really is the answer to that, without being season-sensitive concerning when you’re actually asking the question?

In summer, we’re likely to say we prefer being cold. And in winter, vice-versa.

But then a day comes, when snowfall begins unexpectedly – as suddenly as it may be given the week-long meteo warnings. And everything seems so much prettier. Snow makes everything appear happier, more magical, more walking-on-clouds-fluffy-paradise-bright. You don’t care if it’s cold when you’re dressing up like an eskimo, to walk outside like a penguin, to engage in snowball fights like a child. It doesn’t matter if you can’t feel your limbs, let alone your fingers when you’re gathering snow to build a perfect snowman. Amidst the laughter the snow day is causing, the cold is just a side-effect.

But when it all starts to melt, when the fluffy snowflakes turn into rock hard ice, when it’s too slippery to tread outside in the sludge, and when it’s so freaking freezing that it doesn’t even matter there is the sun in the sky, then, yes, you begin to consider that not everything is so lovely as it initially seems. Everything has its limits, and if you’re not prepared – without the infrastructure or mechanisms – to deal with extreme weather conditions, the problems caused can be life-threatening.

Perhaps the cold is something that can be solved with a warm house (via a fireplace or radiator at least), a cosy blanket, a hot beverage, good company, and some entertainment. Perhaps even the temperature is something we control in our minds. But the truth is, cold makes you shut down to preserve energy.

We want days off because we’re too cold to move. But if we were moving in the first place, we might not feel the cold too much…

Change the perspective

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A storm was brewing. Literally. The weather was turning piercingly icier and the sun was in hiding. You could feel the wind changing.

But also metaphorically. People were evidently affected – they were colder in attitude too. Agitated, nervous, and too easily irritated.

It was all wrong. For no sensible reason.

So she decided to leave.

These are the best decisions; the get-up-and-go-on-the-inspiration moments. Because if you don’t think about certain things too much, they end up being the best decisions you ever make.

She acted upon the impulse to flee. And travelled all across the world to where the climate was exactly the opposite.

She didn’t exactly encounter a heatwave, but a much warmer weather, and a much kinder folk. People who had much less – of material belongings and wealth – yet much more heart and goodness. They knew how to enjoy the utmost of what they had, and to appreciate the instances, the smallest of heart-warming gestures, the gratitude of having even the slightest of everything.

If you step back from your own world and delve into someone else’s, perhaps you’ll just realise how lucky we are but never acknowledge it enough. Be grateful for everyday; for the goodness around you; and focus your energy on all you want to create, not on what you want to get rid of. Know who you are and what you want to achieve, but be careful who you choose to walk with in life, because in the wrong company you’ll never reach your destination.

Glow joy

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When you first meet a person, you receive a vibe from them; it’s that initial instinct – that hunch – that gives you a sense of what kind of person they are. It’s the aura each person emits that introduces them before they utter a single word.

Auras are in essence the energy field that surrounds us. Because everything is made up of energy, we both emit and receive energy. But that can be either negative or positive, good or bad, depending on our mood, sentimental state, stress, as well as exogenous factors. It’s really a vicious circle: the more vulnerable we feel, the weaker the aura we emit, and the more perceptible it is to negative factors (more stress, anger, bitterness, resentment, sadness etc), that leads to a deterioration of our emotions and consequently further psychosomatic problems.

What we need to realise is that we ourselves are responsible for the energy we put out to the world, and thus our own happiness; but we first need to acknowledge that the meaning of our happiness is something defined by us.

We decide on what we ‘waste’ our energy on, what we devote our time and emotions to, what we allow ourselves to feel and express. The best thing would be to surround ourselves with loving feelings, ones that make us feel worthy, important, and alive. It is said that when you are loved you gain strength, but when you love, you gain courage. And that fills your aura with colour and optimism. And it shows. Because you glow joy. Without even speaking.

Turn back time

What if you could turn back time; what would you do? Would you remedy the wrong choices made? The times when you did (not) go with your intuition? Would you make smarter decisions? Would you think more before leaping? Or would you instead be more daring, more impulsive, taking risks, wherever they may lead?

What would you do if you could turn back the clock? Where would you go and who would you be?

But the real question is, would you want to? Time changes us, it shapes us into who we are, and it informs our future decisions.

At some point or other, we all have found ourselves wishing we could go back and act wiser.

Given that this is impossible, however, perhaps what we should truly ponder is, what do we do now, with all that has happened, with all that we’ve faced, with all that we’ve become?

But above all, we need to situate ourselves with people with whom we lose track of time, not those who make us feel it is a waste of it. Wouldn’t it be better to feel that time has stopped, instead of wishing you could get it back?

What if the fire was after you?

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©Konstantinos Tsakalidis / SOOC

What if it was happening to you?

What if you weren’t simply watching it all live from the comfort and safety of your own home? What if you weren’t the audience of the tragedy but one of its victims?

What if you were the one forced to evacuate your home amidst deafening sirens and emergency alerts?

What if the flames of a devouring fire were pressing against your own property?

What would you do? How quickly would you gather your things, your family, your animals, and flee?

And what would you take?

How do you select in an instant among the myriad of things that compose a life? How do you choose what to take and what to leave behind to burn and be lost forever? How to you keep a clear head to act rationally when all you hear is “run to save your life”?

What life?

What constitutes a life that is so easily destroyed by what begins from a tiny spark?

What is essential and not?

How do you run when you know there will be nothing to come back to?

How do you pick yourself up when you know you probably lost everything the instant you close the door?

And what can anyone ever say to support, comfort, or encourage you?

Where do you find strength to carry on when you’ve literally seen your past, present and future ignite in flames?

And how can anyone ever do or say anything to make it better, when all they’ve done is watch your home burn live on TV?

The dawn of an adventure

©MCD_Antiparos

You know that time when the sun rises; when hardly anyone ever gets up to see it, but often some stay up past dawn to witness it before falling into bed? That majestic hour when life begins again as a new day commences. It signifies a new start and symbolises that there is always another chance for things to get better.

A new day is like embarking on an adventure. You don’t really know where it’ll lead you, but you need to get up and go in order to find out.

The hardest decision to make is always the first step you’ll take. It’s like diving into the sea. If you take it step by step the water always seems colder. But if you simply dive in, it’s actually refreshing.

We ponder too much.

All we need is to find the right people to support us, to hear us out when we simply need to babble on for a while, to say something that will soothe and reassure us, to help us get back on the right track when we lose our faith on the path we’ve taken. But mostly, we need people to walk that road with us. Because it’s in the hardships and the little things that we realise who are worthy of being part of our lives.

Let’s go

©MCD

Let’s take the ferry. We’ll be on a different island in just a few minutes. It’s as simple as that.

All it requires is a decision.

But often that’s the hardest thing to take.

We’re too indecisive when it comes to the issues that contribute to a healthy mentality and lifestyle. We’re too caught up with a strict routine, daily pressure, and tight programmes.

But we tend to overthink the insignificant matters, those that result in a mental burnout, in a psychological exhaustion, and in an unjustifiable stress.

Take the boat and leave. Whenever you can. Let your mind wander. Allow your gaze to get lost along the waves, across the horizon, traveling with the wind.

And if you ever too far and need saving, there’s always a life vest somewhere near to rescue you.

Reprogramming a lifestyle

You know why we refuse to accept something we cannot control? Because we can’t handle uncertainty. We are not wired to ‘go with the flow’ and let things happen. People are impatient. And insecure. We need to know that there is a beginning, a middle and an end to things. Otherwise, we go insane.

This year has been strange and extraordinary in every sense and at every level. The Covid-19 pandemic has caused a serious strain not only on global healthcare systems, but on our mental health as well.

People can’t handle so many restrictions and so many recurring constraints.

But most of all, they can’t accept being told what to do, or rather, what not to do.

We can’t breathe with masks on because we’re told we need them. We feel we’re being deprived of oxygen because that is what our mind is telling us.

In every lockdown, we remember the need to go outside, to walk, run, cycle, swim, and sit in the park under the sun. Yet, during our ‘normal’ lives we may hardly even go out onto the balcony for some fresh air, spending the entire day in front of a screen at a an office.

And now, that screen is our way of communicating with the world.

Ironic. Tragic. Call it what you will. But this new reality has caused an irrevocable change to what we consider ‘normal’.  And the things we consider as a given or as common sense.

The world has hit pause and forced us to reconsider everything we considered ‘ordinary’. We need to reprogramme our entire lifestyle and way of thinking, working and living at whatever life stage we currently find ourselves.

The worse thing about the recurring and long-drawn lockdowns is that we’re challenging our own minds, the limits of our sanity, the strength of our beliefs, and the potency of our optimism. The entire situation places us in the unwanted position of not knowing whether to make plans or what these can entail because we very simply do not know and cannot tell what tomorrow may bring.

Uncertainty is the root of our discomfort.  

But no matter how much we resist, complain, moan and react, there are some things that are beyond our control. A global pandemic is among them.

So if you had to answer the question “if you could be anywhere in the world, where would that be?”, what would you say?

Some would answer the Aurora Borealis or Northern Lights; others at the top of Mount Everest, at the Caribbean, at a fancy resort, at your beach house, a mountain chalet, somewhere no one has been to before, anywhere you cannot be at this very moment, somewhere different to where you are.

But the truth is, the answer is not a destination. Because in pondering your reply, it’s who you want to be with that springs to mind. As you grow older, you realise it’s not really the place that matters, but the moments and people you spend them with.

In essence, everything we need is here – within us – we just haven’t acknowledged it enough so as not to worry about what is beyond our needs and control.

It’s not the place or circumstances that need to change. It is our entire lifestyle and mentality.

Remarkable instincts

It’s remarkable how one decision in one single moment can change your life.

It usually doesn’t take more than that.

Because it was in that precise instant that Hope could feel her reality taking a different turn.

It was that rapid, instinctive choice to get on a train that altered everything.

If she hadn’t been so bold, she would not have dared to do something extraordinary and out of character.

But she would also have not met him.

And she would not know that kindness personified does exist. That there are people who look for quality above price, who take care of others as they take care of themselves, who have a heart that is full of love to give and are open to receiving the care they deserve.

She would not know that relationships could be mutually fulfilling.

Or that you could fall in love with someone for the person they motivate you to be. Who boosts your incentives and pushes you to improve. Who wants to be together no matter how little free time is available and who dreams of a future in which you both are.

Had she not been so determined to take a leap, she would not have realised that some risks are worth taking.

Because if they work out, they are simply marvellous.

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