MC's Whispers

Whispering Silences

Archive for the tag “life experiences”

That feeling of being at home

©MCD

There is a serenity in finding a place you can call home. Because no matter how many buses, trains, airplanes you need to get there, it is all worth the tiredness when you finally reach it. It is a place you hold dear in your heart because you know it will always welcome you back, no matter how far you go or how long it takes for you to return.

It is even greater if you have friends who will always be waiting for you and who will get out of their way to make you feel like home, because that is exactly where you feel you are. A family is one that extends beyond blood ties. And those friends who are geographically distant from you are sometimes the ones who are the closest. You will talk for hours about everything and always be up to date with each others’ lives. They will always have some wise advice to share and that optimism that everything will be all right and life will find its way to give you want you deserve.

There are places that mark our lives. Places where we wished we could live forever, as long or short a period that word connotes. There are places that don’t really change with time, but that is perfectly OK with us because you don’t want them to change (only if it is for the better). There are places other people tell you they visited on a travel streak and you are proud to say, ‘I know it, I lived there, it is like home’.

There are places where no matter your absence, whenever you return, you know exactly where everything is and where to go, where the hidden gems are, and where to find the best views. As if coming back home.

And if you are lucky enough to find such a place with friends who have become family, you are blessed with having a home away from home, one that will offer you peace and tranquillity, a place to crash (literally and metaphorically) and the strength to regroup yourself so you can return to ‘normality’ stronger and more optimistic.

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What you see is often what you actually get

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“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” – it’s Newton’s Third Law of Physics. Or put plainly: whatever you give out will come back to you.

Wouldn’t that be great if it were true? If all the attention, effort and emotion you put into your relationships, your work, your life in general, was reciprocated? If the people you were there for when they needed you, would also run to your side when difficulty hit your door?

We don’t always get what we deserve. No matter how much we try or appeal for it. Some things are beyond our control, and although it’s hard to swallow, we need to accept that we are not always responsible for the way people behave or even treat us. It’s a matter of character, of mentality, of experiences, of upbringing; of a series of factors we have no effect over.

What we can do is stop putting ourselves out there for people who won’t do the same for us. Because, usually, when people show you they don’t care, it’s because they probably really don’t. You need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and regain the strength you had before all the emotion got to your brain. Sometimes we need to behave more rationally than emotionally for our own mental health and wellbeing.

You reach a point at times when you realise there is no use in putting others before your own self. In the end, you’re most likely the only one who does.  And you simply end up losing yourself in the process.

Grounded

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As teenagers, we often complain, moan and storm into our rooms angrily when parents forbid us from doing something, usually going out. It has gained the term “grounded”, as if we are airplanes prohibited from flying to symbolise that our wings are being tied down.

Yet, the same word has another meaning: that of being well-balanced and sensible. Of being able to see both sides to every situation and being capable of taking a rational decision.

It is only when you are truly grounded – actually prevented from flying – that you realise what the whole concept really entails.

We have the option of going anywhere we want, practically at any time we choose to do so. Yet, we may not exploit this opportunity for months. But when that “given” is taken away, when the choice is removed, that is when we start to miss it.

Life has a strange way of altering your point of view and of offering valuable lessons.

Sometimes it is not about how far your travel, but how much you spread your wings and do fly. How much you take advantage of every opportunity life gives you.

Sneaky Perils

©Sandra Crook

Sometimes a danger creeps up on you out of nowhere. You don’t see it coming. You don’t even hear it. But it’s there sneaking its way into your life, preparing to harm you.

If you don’t act, you won’t survive.

Be grateful for that small thing that revealed the peril. You can now fight it on your terms.

Breathe. Be thankful for each new day that comes. We fill our lives with too much anguish and only appreciate it when it is hurt.

Listen to that ebb and flow of the waves and be certain that this too shall pass.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

The world through a lens

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We all have a magnifying glass through which we view the world. The events, the circumstances, the people that surround us. But the thing is, we all have the illusion that we all view the world in the same way, because “our view” automatically means it is the “norm”. We each have a different lens, and thus a different view of the world, a different interpretation to life events and a different perspective on all experiences and people.

What we don’t understand or don’t agree with is usually feared. But because fear is a feeling that contradicts our egoisms, we tend to demean everything different to our own view. We treat it with contempt, spite, even anger and dislike simply because we have a different “rulebook” of how the world should work.

When it comes to people, we become hypocritical, showing a positive attitude on the exterior but inside boiling with rage against them. This is often the source of our negative behaviour towards people we dislike, disagree with, or simply cannot communicate well with. it is the reason why respect is not something that can be demanded but rather it is earned. We tend to reciprocate the attitude and behaviour we receive.

Unfortunately, though, not everyone has the same heart as us. Not even the same mind. Thus, it is unrealistic to expect that we’ll get back what we send out. Because not all people have the same lens. And if it is blurred, the world seems a little foggy and more pessimistic than we hoped.

We all get what we deserve in the end. So let’s try and be kind even to the people we dislike or who treat us badly. Karma will take care of them.

A commercial of truth

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There are some commercials that are so mesmerising, you get lost in them and you are left wondering what on earth that mind-blowing scene had to do with the product it advertises. That is how good it is. Because it makes everyone discuss it, becoming viral in record-breaking time, even if no-one even knows what the product does. But it has achieved the greatest marketing target of all: it is being talked about.

One such commercial is the Spanish 2018 Ruavieja commercial “Tenemos que vernos mas” (We have to see more of each other).

It makes you really stop for a minute or two and think.

Because it makes you realise that we don’t have all that time we think we do.

It talks about how we all consider our loved ones our priority, yet we spend so much time apart and on screens instead that we don’t see so much of each other.

We are programmed to avoid thinking about how long we’ve got left to live, so we think that we will always have the chance to do the things that really make us happy.

It makes you realise how much time we actually waste doing things that don’t really make us happy.

Using a calculation and data from the National Institute of Statistics, an algorithm was created to find out how much time we have left to spend with our loved ones given our habits, age and routine. But would you really want to know this truth? Wouldn’t you rather simply be made aware of it and do something about it? To change the fact that we spend so much time in a virtual world rather than in the real one?

The commercial serves as a wake-up call. A reminder that the things that truly matter are not things; they are the people who are with you, the emotions you feel around them and the experiences you share with them.

Life teaches us to make good use of time, while time teaches us the value of time”.

A woman’s silence

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She would often wander in a world no-one could understand. The real world made no sense anymore. She would retreat in the attic and later in the bedroom or living room. She would watch the time run by as she lost herself in books or let her mind gaze at TV series. She didn’t care anymore if she was alone. Now, it was something she actually looked forward to.

In the cold winter days, she would sit on a couch wrapped in a warm blanket with the company of her fluffy soft-toys. In their big glimmering eyes, she would find comfort. In there, she saw the reflection of who she wanted to be; who she was striving to become; who few would appreciate or, even more, understand.

Perhaps that was what was most disappointing. That no matter how much she explained her point of view, hardly anyone would see it. It is easy to put the blame for everything on someone else; it is even easier to dismiss all their views as wrong simply because they don’t agree with yours.People only listen to what they want to hear. And whatever you say, they will only focus on what they think is important, rendering everything else unsaid. She was tired of having to repeat herself so often, and not being heard. She was not understood. And that was perhaps worse than not being appreciated.

So, she drifted away. She had grown weary of trying to change a world that so adamantly refused to do so. She stopped insisting. Her grandfather once told her that people should fear a woman’s silence, for a woman who stops moaning and more so talking is one who has simply given up. A woman’s silence is her loudest cry. But few can truly realise that. Even fewer are bold enough to do something about it.

It’s easy to keep demanding that everyone else changes. The real courage is to admit that you need to change too. And to do it.

Will Juanita finally marry José?

telenovelas (2)During a period where news is dominated by politics, economy and crime, people turn to light-hearted television shows in order to get their minds off reality. They seek entry into another world, a different culture with ‘other problems’ in order to escape their own mundane routines. As such, telenovelas are the most preferred TV option, with these distinct soap operas being exported from (mostly) Latin American countries to all around the world, causing millions of viewers to fixate over them with anguish as to what happens next.

But why are these telenovelas so popular? Because they provide an entertainment option that keeps you asking for more. Because you get drawn into the series as if it is part of your daily life; you become acquainted with the characters and learn to love them (or hate them). You want to know what happens next, what will happen to Bárbara? Will she finally get punished for all the evil she’s done? Will Alejandro marry Leticia in the end? And what about Eva? Will she reunite with her family and find out Pedro is her brother? And what is in Dolores’ past that is now haunting her? It’s exciting, often nail-biting, and simply…different. It’s exactly what you need for an hour a day – to escape from your reality and enter into the lives of someone else – to become part of their reality, their problems and their dilemmas. To take your mind of yours at least for those 60 minutes.

Telenovelas are so successful because they make you feel part of these families, so close to them that you share their feelings and emotions. And sometimes this is the closest you can live in experiencing a fairytale. But most importantly, because in the end it makes you think about your own life and what you truly want to do.

I too love watching telenovelas (given that they’re not dubbed – that just ruins it). They’re great because they give you all you expect from a 60-minute series – an adrenaline rush, a good cry, fear, empathy; it’s a roller coaster ride from your couch.  It often includes it all – romance, comedy, drama, mystery, murder, passion – a bit of everything. And the best thing is that no matter the predictable storyline, you know you’re going to remain glued there till the very end. Because telenevolas are concise, and do not run on indefinitely. Most are written with a complete story in mind right at inception, which means they are conceived as a limited-run program, generally less than a year, with a well-defined beginning, middle, and ending. The storyline often carries a strong sociocultural message and is invariably laden with drama and emotions.  And the best part – it is perhaps one of the most efficient ways to learn the language! Pure, everyday language. As well as getting a great insight into the country’s culture, particularly through the social messages it puts across and the music and traditions it depicts.

So next time you want to escape from the ‘serious reality’ that surrounds you, how about tuning in to watch the life of Débora and Carlitos? It is guaranteed to make you feel better.

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