Are you ready for this?

Have you realised how an entire year has passed?

We usually keep so busy – often too stressed and worried about everything – that we neglect to see how life passes by. We convince ourselves we’re fine and we’re having fun, but how many weeks of the year are we truly enjoying every day and not simply the weekends or those ‘days off’?

How many times have you found yourself going to bed stressed and waking up equally anguished?

We don’t relax because the moment we do, we most likely fall asleep.

As a person who more often than not falls asleep during movies – particularly when watching them in the comfort of a home, tucked up under a fuzzy blanket on a couch – I can unabashedly say that I can count the films I’ve seen in one go (or in their entirety) on the fingers of one hand.

Tiredness is not only physical exhaustion. It arises from not doing what you’re passionate about and what makes you feel good. Toxic relations are not only personal ones, they’re also professional and social ones.

The good thing is we usually get to choose the energy and time we devote to people and things.

The bad news is that we often make the wrong choices out of fear of disappointing others or of missing out if we say ‘no’.

But the thing about a choice is that it is ultimately a personal decision. And enriched and enlightened with another year’s worth of experiences, perhaps this time round we will manage to live more and stress less.

Merry Christmas everybody. Keep calm and enjoy the festivities.

Rainpour

When everything seems to be going just fine, we innately have an inexplicable fear that the wheel will turn to upturn it all.

We end up with nightmares that terrify us in our sleep and various thoughts that haunt us during the day.

We become clingy, vulnerable, insecure, and upset. Easily irritated by the slightest of things. We give importance to issues that shouldn’t matter and we are affected by every little detail around us.

We seek attention to alleviate the burden of the world we feel on our shoulders.

We desire to feel prioritised and important so we can regain part of that self-confidence that was drowned in those disturbing contemplations we create in our heads.

What we want is a person’s time – our person’s time – but that goes beyond the moments we simply spend together. It’s those instances when there are no other distractions around, and they devote their presence to you completely. That’s what we want. The other’s attention and energy. The feeling that for those (few) moments, you are their utmost priority, and there is nothing that can change that.

We want to feel special and loved, particularly at our most vulnerable state. When it starts to rain and it pours. When we view life under a dark cloud and can’t decipher that light at the end of the tunnel.

We want a hug that will wipe it all away.

A few soft works that speak to the heart.

A caring gaze that relights the spark in our eyes.

We want to feel the loving care we sort of lost along the way, that got pushed aside by the fear that if it’s too good, something bad is lingering in the shadows.

We need the confidence to believe that everything will truly be all right, because that is what we deserve; we’ve worked for it and we’ll get there. Eventually.

We want to trust that we’re not alone on that path there.

But most of all, we need to transform ourselves from using our energy to worry and moan, to believing, creating, trusting, healing, manifesting, and growing.

It’s the only way to stop the rain and bring back the sun.

Booster talks

© Bill Reynolds

“I talk to them”.

The globally renowned herbologist’s answer to how her plants grow healthier and faster than average stunned the reporter.

“Studies have shown that talking to plants helps them grow faster. I believe the sound of a soft, caring voice is perceived as vibrations, and plants can sense the love you give to them. Kind of like humans or animals do”.

“But they also give something back. When I’m in my greenhouse, I also get a much-needed psychological boost. Spending time with and around my green-leafed friends can be calming and it promotes good mental and physical health”.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Walking Habits

“Why do you walk so much? You cover miles each day. Don’t you get bored of it? Or tired?”

It was a question many asked. Few comprehended why he was thrilled to wake up and go for a walk to start his day.

He would stroll up hills, on beachfronts, around the city, but mainly wherever there was a view and it was quiet.

Walking helped him clear his mind. It made him zone-out of everything in his head and helped rid of the accumulated daily stress. The endorphins on the rise greatly improved his mood, and it was a perfect energy boost to the day.

For health reasons, walking is good in that it burns calories, strengthens your muscles and helps maintain a healthy weight.

But more so, by walking he discovered so many places he didn’t know about. And he learnt to pay attention to the details. To everything that make up this beautiful world we live in but hardly notice.

He usually walked and talked. It helped save time and get caught up with friends. So by the time he was back home, showered, and ready to get to work, he had already exercised and socialised simultaneously.

It’s one of those things that you won’t fully acknowledge unless you try it for yourself. That was his answer in the end.  

Weekends are for relaxing

©MCD

We seem to be spending too much of the (working) week looking forward to the weekend. Those two days that we can escape the chaos and irrationality that constitute our daily contemporary lives.

In essence, though, we’re anticipating this end of week so much because we need it. We ought to relax and our very organisms are actually calling for it. It is a sign that we’re experiencing life in rhythms that our beyond natural; we stress too much over meaningless things; we anguish and rush; we work, sleep, and eat at irregular tempo and hours.

We need a couple of days to do nothing that entails a tight schedule and an alarm clock. To allow ourselves to lie in, to walk on the beach, to go for a coffee, to meet friends, to engage in endless conversations, and to not think about the passing time.

We know we’ve relaxed and replenished, when all we’ve done is sleep and surrender to leisure, and just like that the weekend has passed, without us realising exactly how. But we feel complete and happy, and that’s what truly matters. And what will help us get through another week.

Work and play

© David Stewart

“I have to work”, he said springing out of bed with a look of utter distress. The anguish of being behind schedule for all his deliveries fed his insomnia for days.

The weekend retreat did not help at all. The days were OK as long as they were walking outside in the fresh air. But his mind was constantly pounded by the professional obligations he had yet to fulfil.

“I know, but first you need to fuel yourself with some energy,” she replied to him tentatively placing a tray filled with a rich breakfast.

He couldn’t refuse the care received.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Reaction to life

Stress is your body’s way of activating your flight-or-fight response to a perceived state of danger. It causes your senses to go on alert, often resulting in convulsive – irrational – reactions, heightened adrenaline, faster heartbeats, and increased breathing rates, as well as altering your food digestion and consequently your glucose levels. Stress has multiple effects on our body, many of which we are hardly aware of.

It’s easy to advise a person not to stress. What is not easy, is to actually follow that advice.

You may have heard/read it before from so many sources nowadays: stress is a fear reaction to life and life’s constant changes. To manage it, we need to equate stress with fear and then begin to eliminate fear from our lives. We need to wonder why are we in fact so afraid? Why do we so passively give our power away? William James had said that “the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over the other”. Because in essence, what causes our bpm to rise is in fact our own thoughts. If we replace the constricting and fearing thoughts we allow to invade our heads with positive and empowering affirmations – keeping it cool and focused – will actually allow us to reach what Louise Hay describes as “the totality of possibilities”. If you let your mind go beyond what you think is possible, you open yourself up to a myriad of options and potential.

What is interesting is the fact that many of us create the ideas we have about life by the time we are 5 years old. And from then on we live in the limitations created by our 5-year old consciousness, often stopping us from experiencing all that we could or desire. It is our own excuses, beliefs and limitations that obstruct our way. We have the option of either accepting them or overcoming them and moving beyond what we think is possible. Because it’s all in our head.

Anger is a significant form of stress.

One of the best advice on learning to alleviate it is what is termed as the “5-minute rule”. You should not spend more than 5 minutes stressing over something or being angry. Give yourself five timed minutes to vent, to moan, to scream, to let it all out. But afterwards, take a deep breath, and acknowledge that you cannot change what has already happened, so there is no value in wishing it were different.

Put simply: deal with it, and move on. Otherwise your just wasting your energy and time.

It’s not so easy to do. But it’s definitely worth a try. And if you keep at it, you’ll eventually get there.

Glow joy

When you first meet a person, you receive a vibe from them; it’s that initial instinct – that hunch – that gives you a sense of what kind of person they are. It’s the aura each person emits that introduces them before they utter a single word.

Auras are in essence the energy field that surrounds us. Because everything is made up of energy, we both emit and receive energy. But that can be either negative or positive, good or bad, depending on our mood, sentimental state, stress, as well as exogenous factors. It’s really a vicious circle: the more vulnerable we feel, the weaker the aura we emit, and the more perceptible it is to negative factors (more stress, anger, bitterness, resentment, sadness etc), that leads to a deterioration of our emotions and consequently further psychosomatic problems.

What we need to realise is that we ourselves are responsible for the energy we put out to the world, and thus our own happiness; but we first need to acknowledge that the meaning of our happiness is something defined by us.

We decide on what we ‘waste’ our energy on, what we devote our time and emotions to, what we allow ourselves to feel and express. The best thing would be to surround ourselves with loving feelings, ones that make us feel worthy, important, and alive. It is said that when you are loved you gain strength, but when you love, you gain courage. And that fills your aura with colour and optimism. And it shows. Because you glow joy. Without even speaking.

Taking time off

One of the most pleasing sentiments in the world is setting out for an adventure. You don’t care how early or late you travel in this case, because you are certain that your destination will recompense the trouble of getting there.

Embarking on an adventure usually entails taking time off your usual routine. It means shutting out everything that, no matter how much you enjoy doing, has made you weary and exhausted due to its prolonged and repeated nature.

We all need time off. A break. To detox, regroup and rejuvenate. A welcome recess; that time of doing nothing, will help you bring things into perspective. It is only when you change your view on things that you manage to see a clearer picture.

And you realise that you can draw inspiration and motivation from the simplest things in life. Those that in the hustle and bustle of daily chaos you tend to forget exist.

You’ll go where you focus your light on. You just need to remember that you are responsible for shining it. And it order to maintain its brightness, you need to recharge it when it gets dim.

There is a good quote, which says that you won’t let the fuel in your car drop to empty, why do you allow it to happen to you? Letting your energy drain.

August is that perfect period to shut down for a while. To allow your mind and soul to breathe. To regain your strength, rediscover your focus and set new goals. It is the time to dream and make plans on how to achieve them.

Take time off. You’ll be thankful you did when you return relaxed, refreshed, recharged.

What you want and what you need

“What is it that you need?”

She never really asked him what he wanted. Because she knew how to distinguish between wanting something and needing it. We tend to have in mind things that we want, but if we ponder on them a bit longer, we realise that we don’t really need them. Because in reality, we have a lot. We’re just not grateful enough.

He didn’t answer immediately.

His gaze wandered out of the window to the spring sun that filled the back garden. Everything was illuminated. It seemed so much more positive than the last time he was here. He himself felt brighter, more optimistic.

“I need a hug that lasts more than a deep breath. A long walk on the beach. And a late night talk, the soul-curing kind. That’s what I miss the most. Being able to connect mentally as well as physically. People being real”.

She felt a wave of cynicism camouflaged into pessimism approaching. So she quickly shielded it off.

“You’ve made a lot of progress in healing yourself. In realising how to separate your wants and needs and how to comprehend what is more important. You should be proud of yourself for that”.

He tried to smile, still staring outside. Something was still troubling him.

“In life, there are two types of people,” she began. “The optimists and the pessimists. The pessimists are usually right. But humanity’s progress is due to the optimists. Remember that when choosing what you allow to drain your energy. If you can’t control or change something, there is no point in allowing it to affect your mood”.