Clear it out

© Roger Bultot

Every once in a while it’s good to clear out things – material stuff hoarded in your attic, negative thoughts embedded in your mind, bad memories, hurtful feelings, even toxic people. You’ll feel better afterwards; lighter, liberated, relieved.

Frank was old now. His walk at the pier was his routine to clear his head. He was adept at managing emotions, thoughts and reactions.

He had lived through a lot. He had experienced people come in and out of his life, each serving their own purpose. But he knew that those who mattered remain. And the things that truly count are eternal.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

When we say we’re fine

When people ask each other “how are you?”, the response is a reflex answer of “fine, and you?”. Rarely does the question delve deeper into how the other person actually is. We ask about our news, our novelties, our gossip, work, relationships etc, but hardly does anyone actually look into how we really are; how we feel, in what mental state we are in.

This year (2020) has been hard. Almost six months have passed, and we have but a few days in which things actually progressed and we have something to show for them. Otherwise, all we have done is stayed at home, explored our neighbourhoods, developed our cooking skills, irritated the people we live with, become depressed at being alone, and wasted an obscene amount of time on Netflix and social media.

Undeniably, even doing a bare minimum – or absolutely nothing – takes a toll on our mental health. We tell each other we’re fine to believe it is true. Because if we don’t overanalyze, we won’t have to admit to ourselves that deep down we are not as great as we want to appear. We are lacking security, the freedom of movement, the capacity to make plans again, having something to look forward to, the prospect that we will get to see our loved ones again soon in a scheduled time and date without the fear of risking a new lockdown or quarantine measures being imposed on you.

We’re only as fine as we believe ourselves to be. Yet, we prefer not to talk about what is bugging us in an attempt to override it. It’s like sweeping the dust under the carpet. Just because we can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Mood swings and mental breakdowns don’t necessarily need professional help to be overcome or healed. Sometimes all we really need is people around us who care enough to offer the help we don’t dare to ask for. It’s enough to know that there are friends and family there who can offer a hug, a random talk when needed, and a simple confirmation that we’re not facing things alone. Because in the end, what we all need is the sentiment that better days are coming no matter what, and the incentive to garner the patience to deal with it all.

When you realise you deserve better

©Dawn Miller

When your body and mind are asking for a break, the best thing to do is respect it. Leave. Go out of town to a secluded countryside and breathe.

Let go of all the toxicity that is infiltrating your life. From all the wrong people with their abusive and bad-mannered behaviours, to every single thing that is costing you your peace of mind.

You are easily disappointed because you expect from others all the things you’d be willing to do for them.

When you realise you deserve better, things begin to change.

And you begin to shine a bit brighter.

Also part of Friday Fictioneers

Those small things

There’s a saying that “the best things in life aren’t things”. Sometimes, they aren’t. But sometimes it is remarkable how the smallest of things can make you feel all warm inside, and genuinely happy.

We live in a world of plenty – at least the lucky Western part of the globe – that we often forget what it means to have certain things. Things that we often take for granted, like clean water, clean sheets, and a house full of loved ones to return to each day.

And sometimes it doesn’t take much to make someone smile. All you need is the knowledge that you have people who love you stand by you, ready to support you no matter what.

All it takes is for you to see your work published, instantly filling you with the gratification that you are doing something worthwhile. And that work is exactly what enables you to buy something useful – like a new tablet you’ve so longed for – that makes you beam up like a lightsaber at the very sight of the screen turning on, and overwhelming you with a warm feeling of satisfaction and joy.

It is the things like entering a room and having a dog or cat run up to you with eyes gleaming and a tail wagging with joy. It is sitting on the couch rolled up in a blanket watching a movie with someone you love. It’s playing board games on a rainy afternoon with the fire crackling. It’s receiving an unexpected (but very welcome) present.

So I guess, most of the times it is the smallest of things that make life matter. After all, that is the point of living a life of purpose, rather than one of material goods. And it is the very difference between living a life and merely surviving it.